LapBand Poetry

[Telly 4]

Band Caused the Gas!!!

Clouds are fluffy..

So is my ass

The band is good

For giving me bad gas

I stare at my ass

Scared of the gas

Thinking people will think I harrass...

But then from afar

I see who you are

An innocent bystander

Getting out of your car

"Oh No" I say

"Oh No, Not THEY"

But low and behold

To my dismay

It came to a head

Now people are dead

"It's the band, it's giving me gas!"

Upset and terrified I look back at my ass

Not very lady like and not very nice

But oh no.. oh not again... not twice

Rushed the groceries in the car

The door...ajar

Thank god I don't have to drive very far

[MoOrLess 0]

OMG ROFL!!! Only you girl!!! too funny..........but not banded even "I" have bad gas -

I say go figure -

must be all the exercising and rigor!

I love your poem Telly :heh:

[Telly 4]

No Comment, Lol. It Was A Silly Poem

[wavydaby 1]

Cause I am waiting for my psych review to be sent to my Dr:

There should be a Band in my stomach,

Something to make me not stuff it.

I'm in quite a state,

The shrink makes me wait!

I want NOW to see my weight plummet!

[A1ikou 0]

O.K, what do I think about my band?

Upon this issue, should I make a stand?

For as you all do very well know,

Sitting won't help those pounds to go.

Move your body just exercise,

Good grief this thing'll be my demise!

Or maybe it'll be the thing to give,

Me a better life to live.

My kidneys too would give me a hug,

For all the Water I glug, glug, glug,

Not sure about my legs and knees,

Getting me to the bathroom in time to pee!

No more bread and no more coke,

Yeah but lotsa new clothes to make hubby broke!

No more junk food, says doctors letter,

Yeah but a healthier me and that's much better.

I chew my food 'til my teeth do ache,

Make it mushy for goodness sake,

Chew, chew, chew it all the time...

Or you'll PB with lots of slime!

Motivation and encouragement too I've found,

Didn't go far just searched around,

The internet...something for me,

And there it was - good old LBT.

In sickness, in health, for better, for worse,

Whether a blessing or whether a curse,

Right now for me, life's just grand,

And all I can say is...I love my band!

[Wheetsin 714]

My body is losing its padding and things are becoming more uncomfortable! So I will express my thoughts in HAIKU:

Comfy chair despair

Bulging springs make my ass hurt

There is no justice!

[Telly 4]

You folk be of the talented kind, wow!

[K@t 38]

Alison, that poem made me laugh.....

[FunnyDuddies 6]

band the tum

to shrink the bum

thats about as good as it gets lol

[mini_me 3]

yo, ho-hooooooo, shrink the bummmmmm..

[REEIZBOOJE 0]

these all are really nice