My mother is going crazy

[puddin 7]

This is off-topic, but it's really bothering me: My mother is going crazy! I grew up in a loving, easy-going home. Now when I visit my parents there's immeasurable stress all around and my mom is always on the verge of tears and I can just FEEL her stress exude from her. She's having major anxiety problems and all of a sudden developing strange phobias like riding in elevators or being put under anesthesia. I feel bad because I still have two brothers living at home: one is 15 and one is 12. The 15-year-old is depressed, I know he is; and the 12-year-old has a serious mommy attachment complex. I don't know what to do to help her.

I took the 15-year-old to a naturopath today because he has debilitating Migraines every morning that keep him from going to school. This naturopath prescribed a very strict diet and several supplements. So when I took him home and told my parents what the naturopath said my mom freaked out and nearly started crying because when she walked in the door today after work my dad said, "What's for dinner? We don't know what to eat with Travis's special diet." So she's stressed, thinking she's got to think of very strict meals to make every night when she gets home, get her garden ready, follow her Jenny Craig diet, fix her mother's yard, etc... I feel bad about everything she's going through, but she used to handle stress SO much better. This time I offered to come over every night for 3 weeks and make their meals, but that still stressed the woman out because she's so independent and didn't like the idea of someone serving her. She used to be such a rock! She's always been the stable, dependable, honest, hard-working, logical personality in the family; a person I've only seen cry once in my entire life. Now she's ALL out of wack! What can I do to help her???

[3loves 0]

Sounds like hormones to me. I would gently suggest and offer to take her for an appt to her PCP or OB/GYN to start with. She may have more specifics needs, but she does need to be evaluated. She probably doesn't even realize how she is acting or overreacting. Bless her heart....she needs some attention herself. She has a good daughter too. :biggrin1: Stay close and try to help her.

[Dody 0]

Your mother could be pre-menopausal, as there are some very strange behavior changes and mood swings that go along with it. Perhaps it is time Mom visied her GYN and told her how she is feeling. I know I found everything hard to deal with. It's a time in your life when you are saying goodbye to a very important part of it, and looking forward to another, and is very confusing.

I'll send out a prayer for your family. She may need something as simple as hormone therapy.

God Bless,

Dody

[Julie* 0]

My mother had similar issues when she started going through menopause. It was like she went off the deep end. She got some help from her gynocologist and it made a big difference. Good luck.

[FunnyDuddies 6]

yeah, it sounds like the Mega-Pause of life. My mother went NUTZO when her hormones came into play, and she was really going off the deep end on everything. I mean, the woman moved, physically changed apts, all by herself, 5 times in one year. Cost her a fortune with breaking leases and all of that. she ran up her bills. she bought two cars (she is divorced...so really not neccessary) then went bankrupt. I think the declaring bankruptcy was the hardest on her. We saw that as our chance to do something, and intervened. We got her to a doc who changed her diet, and put her on some Hormone Replacement Therapy. She got better really quickly, and eased through the change pretty well.

I will have your family in my thoughts and prayers. I know it is really hard. You just have to be firm and strong with her. But at the same time just get in there, get your hands dirty, and take some loads off of her. anything to make her day a little less chore filled. It helps her to focus on other things.

[Elisabethsew 50]

When was the last time your mother had a general check-up? She should have her bloodwork done and evaluated as well as hormone levels, etc. Panic attacks usually require a prescribed medication such as Paxil under the direction of a therapist, psychologist, etc. Does your Mom have ties to her church? If so, she might benefit from talking with her spiritual advisor.

Perhaps you and your brothers and father could come up with a plan to ease her stress by doing simple things like the laundry one day, grocery shopping, working in the garden with her, etc.

[Dody 0]

When was the last time your mother had a general check-up? She should have her bloodwork done and evaluated as well as hormone levels, etc. Panic attacks usually require a prescribed medication such as Paxil under the direction of a therapist, psychologist, etc. Does your Mom have ties to her church? If so, she might benefit from talking with her spiritual advisor.

Perhaps you and your brothers and father could come up with a plan to ease her stress by doing simple things like the laundry one day, grocery shopping, working in the garden with her, etc.

Xanax is the medication I'm on for panic attacks and it works wonderfully. I'm sure if this is the cause of your mom's problems there are several great medications to treat her with. Pre-menopausal just was the first thing that came to mind, because I remember my kids telling me I did the very same things. Elizabeth is right she should have extensive blood work done also.

Much luck to you and Mom both. It's a tough thing to go through for the kids and for Mom.

Dody

[Carlene 12]

Ditto everybody else. Absolutely get her to a gyno ASAP - preferably a female one. A lot of doctors are reluctant to prescribe HRT but sometimes it can be a life-saver - literally.

[kimalicious 5]

I feel so bad for your mom and SO rry she is going through this as well as you. I know this doesn't exactly compare but when I went on birth control it changed my hormones and mood immensely, hormones are something you don't mess around with and it very well could be the big "M" in her life that is causing these changes, if not it could also be just a change in hormones completely from some new supplement or pill she is taking. Check to see if she has started any new regimens of what she is putting in her body and help her to get a physical asap. After the changes I went through just with birth control, I can't imagine the changes I will have with menopause!! You are a wonderful daughter to noitce these changes and with you by her side she should be on her way to "normal" soon!

[puddin 7]

Well, it sounds like hormones, from what some of you have experienced. She's almost 50 and her mother went through it at 50 years old. That doesn't make it any easier for her, but at least there's a light at the end of the tunnel. I'll see if I can suggest going to a GYN tactfully and not get my head ripped off. In the meantime I'm going to have a chat with my dad and find out how come he's not helping her out.

[Elisabethsew 50]

Thanks for the reply, Dody. I think you misread what I wrote. Plavix is the drug given to prevent platelet aggregation. PAXIL is the drug given for anxiety/panic attacks. The names are quite similar so it's easy to make a mistake.