breezy 8 Posted May 12, 2010 Hi TXSam! Your post rang a bell with me. It could have been me writing it. I have had a lot of experience with being single. I raised my 2 sons alone and felt the same despair that I would never meet someone that would be my "happily ever after". The way I coped with it was to fill my life with things that gave it meaning: 1) Get involved in something that helps others. 2) Have a hobby that used my talents 3) Take care of my body I became a hospice volunteer for #1 (very rewarding), I painted pictures for #2, and for #3 I did a couple of things: I hiked in forests for exercise and started applying skin to myself in a self-loving way. The latter sounds wierd putting it down here, but I just got a good smelling lotion and before bed, I would apply it to my face, legs and arms while telling myself nurturing thoughts. I would imagine what I would say if I were my best friend, then tell myself the encouraging words. AND, I kept my options to find at least a friend by joining a dating web site. Two years later, when I was 49 years old, my now-husband found me & asked me out. I am not 56 years old and we are happy beyond anything I would have ever imagine. I don't know if this helps, but what you wrote resonated so strongly with me, I had to tell this part of my story. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
breezy 8 Posted May 12, 2010 So many typos in that post! Sorry, but i THINK it's still readable... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mommaof4yoopers 3 Posted May 12, 2010 Kathy... it really is not fun at all when you begin to strip away the "masking" layers. It's tough and will likely be tougher before better... but in the end you will be strong and so Enlightened on yourself. I had a bit of a breakdown (still feel i need to sugarcoat!) about 9 years ago and that spurred so many changes and inner growth. Now, I'm thankful I hit bottom. I still have my set of struggles but can tackle them is such a healthier way. This forum has been a great source of information for me and virtual support, as well. But be sure to find a support group around you so you have some physical contact as well! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SParkle 4 Posted May 14, 2010 Oh and also!! The authors have a website and some of the important aspects of the book are on there, if you want a preview of it to see if it resonates with you. http://www.intuitiveeating.com/ The "10 Principles" is pretty much an outline and the whole book is based on that so give that a read, and there is a quiz you can take too. Many thanks - I've ordered one... I think it'll help me thru the aftermath!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TxSam 0 Posted May 15, 2010 Thank you to everyone who has responded. It is nice to know that others have gone thru the same thing. It's a struggle everyday but I'm dealing with it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sickofitall 0 Posted May 16, 2010 Also the book Intuitive Eating really helped me with a lot of the emotional baggage and I would HIGHLY reccommend this book. Thanks for that book recommendation! I downloaded the book last night to my kindle and so far I can relate to so much of it it's scary! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
carolyn24seven 11 Posted May 16, 2010 Oh and also!! The authors have a website and some of the important aspects of the book are on there, if you want a preview of it to see if it resonates with you. http://www.intuitiveeating.com/ The "10 Principles" is pretty much an outline and the whole book is based on that so give that a read, and there is a quiz you can take too. Thank you for that link! It lead me to a path of eating disorders. I am very concerned about my 7 year old granddaughter. I believe she isdeveloping an anorexic tendency. Thank you again! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites