I've learned the hard way

[bitteroldhag 0]

Just thought I'd post a few things I've learned after having the lap band installed.

1. You get hungry after a week or so. I was absolutely ravenous, but I found ways to eat Protein and still managed to lose 9 pounds in 2 weeks.

2. You really need to chew your food a whole lot. I got hungry and didn't chew enough and, boy, that hurt. It helps to wash the food down with Water.

3. Plan on throwing up at least once. I was doing just fine and got a piece of food stuck. So I drank some Water and that went down the wrong tube so I was coughing and carrying on when I just burped up the food. It was just like a baby burps. Unfortunately, I did it on the carpet. This would be most embarrassing in company.

4. Don't pick up heavy stuff for at least 4 weeks. I picked up a couple of cases of Dasani water and sprang a leak or something in my stomach. It hurts a bit, but I suspect it will go away in awhile.

5. Yard work is probably not good for a month or so after the surgery.

6. Deviled eggs are good and they go down well if your family doesn't eat them all.

7. Buy stock in the Dasani water company.

8. fruit juice mixed with water is good.

9. You can drink if you want to expend the calories. I drank some brandy and lived to tell about it. But it's fattening.

10. You can poach anything -- pork chops, chicken, beef--just let it boil enough and you can eat it.

11. My sweet tooth did not disappear. I have a piece or two of candy though and am satisfied. I find chocolate mints do the trick.

12. Taking care of one's 86 year old mother after surgery is a real pain in the wazoo.

13. It is wise to have a Cadillac or other luxury car after surgery. It hurts less, and the air conditioner is good. (I bought a Cadillac on eBay and love it.)

14. Excited dogs are not good when you first come home. One of my dogs jumped up on my stomach which was pretty bruised. He meant well.

15. It is probably better if your cat does not bring in a field rat to live with you while you are recovering. Our rat seems to be doing well and is healthy so far. Of course, I feed it and give it water. Okay, I'm a severe animal lover. I hope to capture it in my net and put it outside. This is much better than discovering it's innerds on my beige carpet.

16. A person can tell if he/she is full if he/she pays attention. If one doesn't pay attention, pain can result.

17. It is difficult to make oneself exercise if one hates exercise like I do. I still haven't managed that, but my friends are lobbying for me to sign up at the fitness center. I figure I can do the low impact aerobics which consist of waving one's arms around. I may sign up for yoga which doesn't involve heavy lifting or jogging on a treadmill. I might be willing to walk sedately on a treadmill, but the exercise freaks always expect so much.

18. Expect your metabolism to change. I have been waking up at ungodly hours like 5:45 a.m. I have spent many years arranging my life so that I could sleep late, and I wake up early! This is disgusting. I hope my metabolism returns to its normal laziness soon since I'm on vacation. I will wake up early when I go back to work.

These are just a few of pitfalls of the lapband that I have discovered. Stay tuned for new developments

[Elisabethsew 50]

I got a laugh out of some of those. Thank you!

[leatha_g 4]

LOL, thanks for the insight. Cute.

I only have one question regarding #2. "2. You really need to chew your food a whole lot. I got hungry and didn't chew enough and, boy, that hurt. It helps to wash the food down with Water."

Does your doctor not require that you stop drinking before you eat and wait awhile to drink, like an hour afterwards?

I only ask because it is generally the mantra of banding physicians and those who have been banded awhile. Do not drink during meals.

From what I have experienced, this not only tends to wash the food on through the pouch (which defeats the purpose of the band) but also will almost certainly, at some point, cause an episode we call 'Productive burp - PB) because the stoma is too small to handle both the food your ingesting AND liquid poured in on top of it. Sort of like a funnel.. Just wondering.

Thanks for the morning laugh and much good luck to you going forward!

[GeezerSue 7]

Hey, BOH...I hear you on the-mom-thing. Mine is ONLY 83 and I've been on steriods for a month or so after hurting my back taking care of her. Luckily , it was about five months after my revision!!! (And my Volvo worked well, but their SUV might have been even better. LOL)

[bitteroldhag 0]

LOL, thanks for the insight. Cute.

I only have one question regarding #2. "2. You really need to chew your food a whole lot. I got hungry and didn't chew enough and, boy, that hurt. It helps to wash the food down with Water."

Does your doctor not require that you stop drinking before you eat and wait awhile to drink, like an hour afterwards?

I only ask because it is generally the mantra of banding physicians and those who have been banded awhile. Do not drink during meals.

From what I have experienced, this not only tends to wash the food on through the pouch (which defeats the purpose of the band) but also will almost certainly, at some point, cause an episode we call 'Productive burp - PB) because the stoma is too small to handle both the food your ingesting AND liquid poured in on top of it. Sort of like a funnel.. Just wondering.

Thanks for the morning laugh and much good luck to you going forward!

You're right. I'm not supposed to drink anything but when something gets stuck I don't care if I wash it through. In fact, that's the point. But usually I wait 30 minutes after a meal before I drink anything.

[cashley 0]

When I have something stuck and I put Water (or any drink ) on top of it... I feel like I'm drowning and then I ususally PB... at the point when you are tight and drink it won't wash down anymore. It hurts really bad!

[bitteroldhag 0]

Hey, BOH...I hear you on the-mom-thing. Mine is ONLY 83 and I've been on steriods for a month or so after hurting my back taking care of her. Luckily , it was about five months after my revision!!! (And my Volvo worked well, but their SUV might have been even better. LOL)

Geezer: You might want to check out the eldercare forum. It's a good place to let off steam and find out stuff about taking care of a very old person. It keeps me more or less sane--well, okay, less sane but functioning. My mother weighs 200 pounds and one day I thought I'd lift her electric wheelchair which weighs at least another 200 pounds with her in it. That hurt. I bought the Cadillac so I could get her in the car easily and it worked. Leather seats are good for old people because you can just slide them into the car. And I got the extra bonus of having an 8 cylinder car that uses premium gas right when gas prices went up. How's that for timing?

[Shontel 3]

I disagree on the throwing up. I haven't once. Not that I won't down the line, but its all about following the rules set in place. I think for me at least, the reason I havent PB'd is simply the 'fear' of PBing...lol A lot of what you are stating is true for many, but not all. I love sweets too, I eat a few sugar free reeses cups to satisfy my urge.

[*susan* 1,709]

This was an amusing thread and I enjoyed it. However, I don't drink with my meals. I had corn, and learned it will not go down for me. I was having the massive golf ball pain. My dh came in with the best of intentions with a glass of Water for me in the hopes it would wash it through. I drank that, the water came right back up and put me in even more pain than I was in prior to drinking it.

[GeezerSue 7]

Geezer: You might want to check out the eldercare forum. It's a good place to let off steam and find out stuff about taking care of a very old person. It keeps me more or less sane--well, okay, less sane but functioning. My mother weighs 200 pounds and one day I thought I'd lift her electric wheelchair which weighs at least another 200 pounds with her in it. That hurt. I bought the Cadillac so I could get her in the car easily and it worked. Leather seats are good for old people because you can just slide them into the car. And I got the extra bonus of having an 8 cylinder car that uses premium gas right when gas prices went up. How's that for timing?

Point me to it?

I have caregivers in for her four days a week now and she's on a waiting list to get into assisted living...NOT a nursing home or convalescent hospital...but an apartment without a kitchen--but with plenty of on site staff to help with everything--kind of thing.

When I retired I was too fat to qualify for long term care insurance...but SHE qualified through my retirement plan...in spite of cancer surgery and diabetes and spinal column surgery issues. So she has that policy and we are going to use it for a few years!!

[Wheetsin 714]

A good thread for showing how individual we are, and how completely different our rules, experiences, challenges and truths on this journey really are.

[Murphles 0]

I disagree on the throwing up. I haven't once. Not that I won't down the line, but its all about following the rules set in place. I think for me at least, the reason I havent PB'd is simply the 'fear' of PBing...lol A lot of what you are stating is true for many, but not all. I love sweets too, I eat a few sugar free reeses cups to satisfy my urge.

I really hate it when people imply their (good) experience is soley because they behaved better. I started vomiting with my first medication and kept vomiting for 12 hours. My biggest fear was vomiting-let me tell you that I got my fill of it. It was suggested that I was just more sensitive to the medication or the my stomach was more irritated because of the procedure (I also had a hernia). Thanks for listening.

[Alexandra 55]

That's not the way I read that, Murphles. It's totally true that fear of PBing can prevent it from happening! And as she says, it's not that won't ever do it, but it just hasn't happened yet.

The first PB I ever had was a result of a moment's inattention. And no matter how careful or fearful we are being, that can happen to anyone.

[bitteroldhag 0]

Point me to it?

I have caregivers in for her four days a week now and she's on a waiting list to get into assisted living...NOT a nursing home or convalescent hospital...but an apartment without a kitchen--but with plenty of on site staff to help with everything--kind of thing.

When I retired I was too fat to qualify for long term care insurance...but SHE qualified through my retirement plan...in spite of cancer surgery and diabetes and spinal column surgery issues. So she has that policy and we are going to use it for a few years!!

The eldercare forum address is:

http://eldercare.infopop.cc/6/ubb.x

Or you can just google eldercare forum. It's a good forum. My mother had a stroke so I moved her in with me. That was 5 years ago and she's doing pretty well. I'm a wreck, but she's okay.

[bitteroldhag 0]

When I have something stuck and I put Water (or any drink ) on top of it... I feel like I'm drowning and then I ususally PB... at the point when you are tight and drink it won't wash down anymore. It hurts really bad!

This explains my "burp." I suppose it was a minor pb. Probably I was choking on the Water because it filled up my esophagus. I've just got to learn to chew, chew, chew. But I haven't had a fill yet. Probably I'll be much more careful when I get that.