Husband alrealdy jealous.......

[slebme 0]

can anyone comment on how their relationships with their husbands have been after wls vsg? I haven't even had my sleeve and my husband is already telling me he is not going to let me out of the house. Oh please tell me that doesn't happen. I have been fighting the weight demon for a long time and im finally getting the tool to get it off . Im not even sure that if a man would pay attention to me if id notice. :lol0: In fact i don't even remember when one looked at me.

[pnw218 14]

Well, I haven't lost enough yet to know exactly how he is going to react. What I can tell you is that when I started going to curves last summer, and was actually going on a regular basis, he started swimming 3 times a week. Of course, he lost more than me - darn guys anyways. I did run into some recurrent back issues that totally sidelined me in the fall. He has been focusing on losing weight alot since January. I didn't even start talking about vsg until mid-January! lol He does compliment me often about how well I am doing and he can see changes. So there has been some competitiveness but not horrible!

It probably also has a lot to do with someone's overall personality also tho. We have never been jealous in our relationship (married 17 years). We have maintained friendships with people who were friends before marriage.

I am thinking that he could become more jealous down the road. He is 10 years older than me ... if I do get down to a small size, who knows.

Talk about it as much as possible : )

[determined1 3]

dont know if you frequent Thinnertimes but here is a post that pertains to marriages falling apart...any marriages fall apart after surgery - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

[slebme 0]

Thank you i'll look it up..

[Tiffykins 673]

My husband was deployed during my revision, and during the first 4 months of my journey. I dropped 80lbs during that 4 months, and YES, he was more jealous and possessive when he first came home. He stuck to me like glue. One day we were out shopping, a higher ranking guy, walked up to me, politely (not flirty) said 'hi there, how are you?' I replied back with 'fine thank you and yourself'. My husband was a few feet away, and he marched over, slid his arm around my waist and kissed my forehead. The guy walked off, I looked up to my husband and said " you need to quit hiking your leg on my thigh ".

I nipped it in the bud quickly. I don't tolerate other people's insecurities to drown me. I told him that he just needed to accept that men are going to find me attractive just like they did when I was fat. He just didn't believe that other men hit on me back then.

John's been home since October 1, and he's finally figured it out that I'm not going to leave him. We talked through a lot of stuff. Communication is vital, and pure honesty. I have found that since losing weight I'm slightly less tolerant of b.s. I didn't tolerate, or let people walk all over me just bc I was fat. It's only gotten worse since I don't have the fat to hide behind. My husband was definitely worried when I got below his own weight (170). But, he's loosened up quite a bit.

Our marriage is actually stronger because of my surgery. I'm more active, more open sexually, more intimate, more loving, more confident (I was pretty confident pre-op it just got better post-WLS), I have more energy to go and do things. We eat better meals, our sex life is well pretty phenomenal, we're closer emotionally because this journey is definitely emotional. If no one has warned you, the hormone flux post-op can be pretty horrific. I swear I had horrible PMS, crankiness, irritable, almost irrational mood swings during the weight loss. So, don't be surprised if you find yourself crying one minute then laughing the next. Or, if you are super moody, and upset, it's pretty normal, most of us go through it.

I think talking about everything is way better than arguing about the little things. If your marriage is strong, and y'all can communicate openly, you should be able to work through the many different emotions and thoughts that will come during your WLS journey.

[slebme 0]

Tiff,

I don't understand his insecurity since we have been married for 33 yrs, my youngest son has moved out last week and im ready for a new me. It is just the way you put it (marking his territory) I feel I have given him the best years of my life and now I want to start this new journey with or without his support. My surgery is scheduled for April 12th and Im so excited. I was trying to post my pic in my profile but its not working.. Thank you for taking the time to respond to my concern it truly built my courage... thanks again

[Tiffykins 673]

Tiff,

I don't understand his insecurity since we have been married for 33 yrs, my youngest son has moved out last week and im ready for a new me. It is just the way you put it (marking his territory) I feel I have given him the best years of my life and now I want to start this new journey with or without his support. My surgery is scheduled for April 12th and Im so excited. I was trying to post my pic in my profile but its not working.. Thank you for taking the time to respond to my concern it truly built my courage... thanks again

After 33 years, there is a definite comfort level, and now he knows things are gonna change. Things will change for him too, and that could be a big part of it.

To post your pic, got to USER CP at the top and hit "EDIT AVATAR" upload a pic from your PC or a photo hosting site such as photobucket.com and use the DIRECT LINK code in the URL box for the Avatar.

Then your pic will show up with all of your post.

If you ever need to chat, feel free to shoot me a private message.

You're gonna love the sleeve, and I'm glad you are moving forward. You deserve the very best, and should never have to settle for less than everything you've ever wanted.

[lauramomof3 2]

My husband had rny in dec. and I am more jealous of him than he is of me. He talks about lady friends that are his sales reps or business associates that make comments to him and hugging him. He has hardly said anything about ppl looking and making comments about my weight loss. He does say he is satisfied with my weight loss and he doesn't care if I don't loose anymore weight.