Chapter 5 and WLS

[Guest rickydee]

From: Chapter 5 - How It Works (Higher Power Version)

"Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

*******************************************************

No part of the Big Book is more beloved or oft quoted "in the rooms" than "How It Works." I am now applying these concepts to my personal experience with food. I am thinking about the difference with Alcohol, if there is one. OA bases its program on the same Steps and the Big Book with an adapted form as well.

One can live without drinking, but not without food. The portions I am trying to resolve are:

"People who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program" refers to the 12 Step program process. How does it apply to the Weight Loss Surgery process? Certainly one "gives themselves" to it.

"they seem to have been born that way" Many find it impossible to overcome their genetics for obesity. Some are able to overcome them through dieting, and/ or medication, some through WLS and the remainder are, unfortunately unable to do so. It is Higher Power intervention that acts to bring these folks through, but failure does not mean they are wrong or that the Higher Power is incapable. What is the answer for these people? I am still unsure about this, as I am about children who die in Africa etc. it is one of those great unanswered questions.

"They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty." We know that the success of WLS is dependent on 100% effort, when it comes to managing food and exercise properly. A lifestyle change = a "manner of living," I believe.

"...grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest." Honesty must be a very powerful factor indeed, if it trumps the incapacity of mental illness. As a person who has survived alcohol and drug dependency by taking appropriate medications, i must believe that "honesty" also means getting the help you need, no matter what it takes. Medication also falls under "manner of living."

to be continued

[LAN2k 18]

I just started to read the Big Book. I recently got a sponsor, we're trying it out. I also picked up The 12 Steps and 12 Traditions of OA. Ironically the honesty I am grappling with is self honesty. I procrastinate, avoid and medicate with food. I have this feeling that there are elements of my character which I don't want to look at because I'm afraid I won't know what to do with them or maybe what I will do without them? I resign to take it slowly, to only bite off what I can chew--lol-- so to speak.

[Guest rickydee]

One Day at a Time...the rest will still be there tomorrow. The "gentle path" is the way they put it in Sex Addicts Anon. Not "easy" just gentle!

[LAN2k 18]

"Gentle" ... I feel that word as a healing word. Thank you.

[LAN2k 18]

I read Chapter 5 today. I am still working on being honest with myself. I am hopeful but don't know that the 12 steps will work for me. My faith is weak. I know that, now that I am not able use food like a drug, I see the emptiness inside. Over indulgence with food has robbed me in a very real sense. Food has intoxicated me and like an alcoholic has black outs, I've had time outs, time away from real life issues. I suppose food was the tool that enabled avoidance behavior in me. I numbed myself out with it and so it was like being drunk. With each binge, (and my "volume eating" were binges), I suffocated a portion of my abilities. And now I need to sort things out. I'm working on Step 2...And I believe in God! But I have not really surrendered my will and life over to him, (Step 3) because if I really had I would not have obsessed myself in food all these years. But it looks as though I'm going to need to obsess over myself in order to "Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself" (Step 4) at some point soon. And that's about all I am able to comment on at this juncture. I've got work to do and all I can do is try.

Edited March 26, 2010 by LAN2k

[Guest rickydee]

The first step is at the beginning for a reason. Admitting powerlessness and unmanageability can sometimes feel overwhelming. Be sure you are hooking up with a sponsor to discuss the process. OA online meetings are convenient. Anything I can do let me know. One Day at a Time and the serenity prayer will keep you going in the beginning. Ricky

[LAN2k 18]

It's taking some adjusting for me to get comfortable with having a sponsor. I'm making the phone calls to her as scheduled, but I feel strained sometimes to talk as if I want to say the right things to her so she stays motivated to be my sponsor. I have also been in therapy and it has not ever really challenged my wit. I've always felt as though the therapist would simply hear me, nod his/her head, just very passive sort of listening. I'm told that working the 12 steps honestly and thoroughly will manifest change. Change is what I want, not only on the outside but from within. I hope I will achieve that so I can willfully pass it along to others who want the same. Thanks Ricky. I'm glad your available.

[SinDLou 4]

How are you doing, are you still connected with this site? I would love to work together with others struggling with food addition.