Food Addiction and 12 Steps

[LAN2k 18]

Hi Lan!

I too find a great source of comfort in those rooms.

I attended CEA How a spin off of OA and actually lost 70lbs by following that program. I never could find my way back to the program and thats why I chose WLS first with the band - and when it slipped and I had to have an emergency removal- I swore to myself that I would go back to the program- I didnt - couldnt and then about a year later after gaining almost 100 lbs back I opted for VSG. I am thrilled with my sleeve and I have absolutley no regrets- anymore (I did the first month out) I will say that I have thought about going to a meeting for the support though.

I wish there was a 12 step group for Post WLS people?

Thanks ishary...At first I wasn't sure if I fit in with the people attending OA, since I had surgery and have lost a significant amount of weight. But as my eating habits have been altered and my appetite is back and my sleeve restricts me from eating the way I used to, I've so much more time to think...and I really get it that I have had an obsession with food...and it is important for me to address it. I can only speak for myself, and I'm glad that this thread has been acknowledged. I would love to be involved in a WLS support group! There is one local to me that meets every week but it's closed to those who have had surgery elsewhere. It's run by the surgeon who performs WLS surgery at Mather Hospital in Port Jefferson, NY. I pleaded with the staff to allow me to participate but was told that they are full to capacity and adhere to a strict policy. So I went to OA and I am glad I did.

Edited March 22, 2010 by LAN2k

[ishary 0]

I agree that it works for some people.

I happen to one of the few that attending these type of meetings only upset me more than help.

I seriously loathed WW meetings, and I attend alanon meetings when I was younger due to my father's alcoholism. I am not sure if I can pinpoint why this type of setting doesn't work for me, but I've been hesitant to even attend our monthly support group because of my past experience. I promise I wasn't trying to say that it doesn't work for some, but for me and my personal demons, I have to work on them through different venues.

Hi Tiffy!

I think we all need to find our own path and what works for us as individuals in sleighing our dragons/demons-

This website is an invaluable tool to me and I for one will say that you have helped me from day #1 as well as countless others with the journey that we all are on.

[sunnyinaz 1]

Hi ISH...

I too have been thinking of going to a meeting or two. At one time, about 6 yrs ago I had a fantastic sponsor and tried my hardest to work the program. I really haven't figured out why it didn't work for me even though I spent 4 years going on a regular basis. I need to do some serious soul searching to try to figure that one out. I think I was just scared to open up all the way and really make the program my own. And then we get into "What are the reasons for hiding behind the fat" question and all that goes with that. I know I use food as a comfort due to some pretty tramatic things that happend in my childhood. And like TIFF at one time it was men, then booze and drugs, then after that the food which was more acceptable to society. So I stayed with the food all this time and ended up here. Just today I saw a segment on the "Today Show" featuring a young mother that lost over 200 lbs doing WW. I thought to myself.....maybe I should just do that. It is just a merry go round with out the merry! My thinking is so messed up I don't know what I want half the time. Soooo....after saying all that, yes I will be going to some meetings and trying to "work" a program.:thumbup1:

[LAN2k 18]

Hi ISH...

I too have been thinking of going to a meeting or two. At one time, about 6 yrs ago I had a fantastic sponsor and tried my hardest to work the program. I really haven't figured out why it didn't work for me even though I spent 4 years going on a regular basis. I need to do some serious soul searching to try to figure that one out. I think I was just scared to open up all the way and really make the program my own. And then we get into "What are the reasons for hiding behind the fat" question and all that goes with that. I know I use food as a comfort due to some pretty tramatic things that happend in my childhood. And like TIFF at one time it was men, then booze and drugs, then after that the food which was more acceptable to society. So I stayed with the food all this time and ended up here. Just today I saw a segment on the "Today Show" featuring a young mother that lost over 200 lbs doing WW. I thought to myself.....maybe I should just do that. It is just a merry go round with out the merry! My thinking is so messed up I don't know what I want half the time. Soooo....after saying all that, yes I will be going to some meetings and trying to "work" a program.:thumbup1:

Well sunnyinaz. I wish you success in your endeavor. I have continued to go to an OA meeting on Saturday mornings close by to where I live and this meeting is a packed house. It's a 2 hour meeting that flies by. There is a guest speaker each week and throughout 3 minute "pitches" for anyone who wishes to get up and share. It is helping me. I have a sponsor who is available only 2x per week and for now I'm fine with that. I'm working on step 4...not easy and I find myself avoiding it. Keep me posted on your progress I'd be very interested in knowing how you do with it. You may PM me anytime. Best wishes. -Lis

[Roseib 13]

I participated in OA in the early 90s and lost 100 pounds. Then moved to small town with no OA and gained it back over three years. Have lived in large city for several years now with plenty of meetings but could never get myself back. Shame I think. Now after being sleeved two weeks ago I've been thinking about going back forvthe support and wisdom of the program. The way I look at it the 12 step program is so sane that anyone can benefit from it, addict or not. I hsve a question though for those of you currently participating: have you experienced any disapproval from those who have not had surgery?

[LAN2k 18]

None whatsoever! I have been embraced and strongly supported by members of OA. I find it an amazing program although I am only at the start of the 4th step and still in alot of emotional pain, (due to ongoing family issues). Although this venue is and continues to be a wonderful source of support, I do not think I would cope well without the support of people with whom I could physically connect with. Since I am dealing with a daughter who is an alcoholic (and an over-eater)-and is in complete, hostile denial, I am going to also look for Alanon meetings to go to as well. Not having food as a crutch really forces me to have to face my reality and I need as much support as I can get. Well put Roseib.

[Lookinupin2010 0]

Going to OA (like someone stated above) brought out more demons in me that I already had. It was like listening to someone else's issues....manifested them in me !!! Didn't need that !!!

However, we are all DIFFERENT, even though we have the SAME food addiction.

We just have to handle it in the way that seems the healthiest for us.

I stay away from my monthly support group from fear of the 'manifestation demons' that I have experienced from before. And quite frankly, sometimes people just seem 'whiney' to me. I don't mean to offend anyone here, that is just my impression of some of these meetings. Hence, another reason why I stay away.

[Roseib 13]

None whatsoever! I have been embraced and strongly supported by members of OA. I find it an amazing program although I am only at the start of the 4th step and still in alot of emotional pain, (due to ongoing family issues). Although this venue is and continues to be a wonderful source of support, I do not think I would cope well without the support of people with whom I could physically connect with. Since I am dealing with a daughter who is an alcoholic (and an over-eater)-and is in complete, hostile denial, I am going to also look for Alanon meetings to go to as well. Not having food as a crutch really forces me to have to face my reality and I need as much support as I can get. Well put Roseib.

Thanks. I have looked up a meeting near me and will start attending again after a long absence next week. Back in the day there was some hostility to surgery (when it was really new), but I'm glad attitudes have changed. It's all about behavioral change really (and psychological and spiritual -- however one thinks about the spiritual part and the higher power -- I've known atheists to whom the group is the higher power.)

[LAN2k 18]

Some of the literature in OA mentions WLS as one of many measure the compulsive or, over eater will take in order to defeat and conquer the effect that food has over them. Some people at meetings had become bulimic or anorexic as a means to control their obsession with food. I found that in having WLS, weight loss and an inability to over-eat, emotional/spiritual issues are exposed if not emerging. This is very uncomfortable and exercise, (like a bike ride), helps but not entirely. Taking anti anxiety meds helps but only temporarily. Working through the 12 steps, making alliances with other people, and use of the "tools" in the program, appears to be a solid means to handle the raw feelings stifled for years by excess eating habits and bodily weight. I personally am grappling with other additional issues such as my middle age stage in life, my aging parents, an atheist vengeful daughter to whom I've given back her custody of her son to. He has been with me since he was in diapers but wants desperately to have his mom love him enough to take responsibility for him. I am watching him suffer again (as he did as a baby), at her ruthless, and selfish rejection of his needs and yet, he wishes to hold out and stay with her. All this is very painful for me and honestly would be so much easier if I could eat the volume of food I used to. I NEED 12 step group support. I hope you will find it rewarding. Give it at least 6 visits and if you don't like one group (too few people, too many people...), try some others. Best wishes. Hope you continue to share your journey.

[hopeandfaith 6]

We don't have an OE group here but we do have WW but what gets me is that most of the people there are SKINNY...they REALLY need to lose that 5 to 10 pounds..this is what they say. When you have over a hundred to lose...well for me I get discouraged. Then they want to stand close so they can see your weight. I just felt TOO JUDGED at these meetings but I have seen people who really get the help they need. Don't get me wrong they do help some people just not me.

[MN Mary 0]

What is OA?

Thanks ishary...At first I wasn't sure if I fit in with the people attending OA, since I had surgery and have lost a significant amount of weight. But as my eating habits have been altered and my appetite is back and my sleeve restricts me from eating the way I used to, I've so much more time to think...and I really get it that I have had an obsession with food...and it is important for me to address it. I can only speak for myself, and I'm glad that this thread has been acknowledged. I would love to be involved in a WLS support group! There is one local to me that meets every week but it's closed to those who have had surgery elsewhere. It's run by the surgeon who performs WLS surgery at Mather Hospital in Port Jefferson, NY. I pleaded with the staff to allow me to participate but was told that they are full to capacity and adhere to a strict policy. So I went to OA and I am glad I did.

[j0ksta2000 0]

I have to say, I'm without a doubt food addict. I eat with everything thing...highs lows and when I'm just bored or whatever. I haven't been to the support group yet or see a therapist. i hope to start the support group soon. so i hope it helps. how have you been handling the cravings. i'm doing it kinda cold turkey. I've been doing a odd way of helping them. I've been watching Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmerman. kinda funny i guess, but i swear watching him eat bugs and other crap really does make my food cravings go away. any other ideas? I do chew sugar free gum for my sweet tooth. but that's it.

[LoserMama 37]

This is a really old topic, but I'm thinking a lot about emotional eating and what tools I can use to work on that part of all of this. I was an OA/DA member about six years back....it was helpful, but it was very depressing to me. I am not sure what it is about it? Someone earlier in the thread talked about manifested demons and some of that is true to me. I felt so down and focused on my failure in OA/DA.

I am really seeking somethign that can be positive and proactive. Not sure what that is yet. I joined "shrinkyourself.com" in hopes that that might help, because the bookw as good, but the site is weird and feels repetiive, but i'm trying.

I'm with others about WW. it felt like a joke to me, because so many of the people are there to lose 20 lbs or something....and it just feels like while it touches at emotional eating, sure, its superficial.

I am going to try the WLS support groups.

I consider this whole forum a WLS support group. But I am also surprised that there isn't a forum just around psychological/emotional eating issues to discuss those!

Well, rambling, but it is what I am thinking about.