Should I cancel my surgery? Help!

[MlkPas 5]

Kara, I'm gonna give it to you straight -- this is YOUR life, and YOUR body, and YOUR money. YOU and your husband are the only ones who get a vote. You are not a little girl any more and your mom and your aunt don't get to call the shots for YOUR life.

[ctavery 0]

I am sure your family is well meaning, and to play devils advocate a bit, I would say that if your family is getting to you this much so as to cause such doubt then perhaps you haven't really taken the time to really think out all your options and mentally prepare for the reality of what surgery will mean for your life. Once you reach that point, the answer will come to you and your family's concerns will not be so disturbing to you.

My two cents.

Christian

[Mary Gordon 3]

please reconsider, you are going to spend a lot of money and you could save lots of money if you consider going to Dr. Aceves in Mexicali. Just give them a call and see the difference in cost. You won't regret it and i think you'll make your mom happy. If you need any more info. please feel free to ask. Goodluck.

[Stacy160 201]

Kara, I'm gonna give it to you straight -- this is YOUR life, and YOUR body, and YOUR money. YOU and your husband are the only ones who get a vote. You are not a little girl any more and your mom and your aunt don't get to call the shots for YOUR life.

Ditto that! I'll just say that it's great that you don't have any co-morbidities--yet. You're very young though, and look....95-98% of all people who lose excess weight gain it back PLUS some. SO many of us here played the yo-yo game and dieted ourselves fatter and fatter over the years. I know we'd all have LOVED to have had this option when we were your age.

As far as the cost goes--I've said this before, but I figured it's half the cost of a new car. So maybe we buy a used care the next time or two...so?

And the Biggest Loser contestants? He couldn't say who specifically, but my surgeon has done the VSG on a former contestant.

You negative relatives aren't being rational about this, and maybe there's a reason (fear, jealousy, whatever).... but it's YOUR health, YOUR future, and YOUR money. Know what I'd do? I'd go ahead and do it, but don't even tell them until you're well on your way to goal. It'll be hard to argue with your success at that point. :lol0:

[blaqk 0]

You shouldn't listen to what your family or any naysayers say to try and talk you out of it, you should just look at yourself and figure out what's right for you. Remember that only about 5% of people will be successful with maintaining weight loss without some kind of surgery, but then again you could be in that 5%. I personally know someone who went to a personal trainer and a nutritionist and lost about 100 pounds and has kept it off for more than five years. However I also know that I went to a personal trainer and nutritionist for a year, and didn't lose any weight at all. It's different for everyone, so no matter what we say here you have to figure out what's going to work for you :smile1:

[MlkPas 5]

And may I just add that five years is just that -- five years. I lost 60 pounds and kept most of it off for almost 15 years by making it my number one priority in life, but the minute I started back to grad school and couldn't work out every day and didn't have the time or energy to prepare diet meals every day, the weight came back on.

The reality is that diets and exercise work while you're doing them, and not one minute more.

[karaserene1985 1]

So my mom really wants me to work out with a trainer for 6 months and then if that doesn't work do the sleeve. I think in that time I can look for a different surgeon, less expensive surgeon who has done more then the surgeon in my area. The sleeve is still an option but they want me to try and work out with the trainer first.

What's 6 more months right? I know its a lot, but if this makes my family happy then i think i need to do it. I really do care about what they think, and if I prove to my mom that I actually do try then maybe she'll support me to get the surgery. I really do need her support.

[Tiffykins 673]

Kara, best wishes with the trainer. I know it's tough when family isn't supportive. Be kind to yourself, and know that we'll be here to support you if needed.

[youknowit 11]

Ditto to what Tiff said! Hang in there, and keep coming back to update us on your progress. We're here to listen and talk, if you need it! :001_rolleyes:

[cwalker 12]

changeforthe better2010, it sounds as if you know what you want to do and the plus side is you'll probaly recover faster if you have surgery becuase you'll have :biggrin0: built up stamina. Good Luck to you.Carla

[MlkPas 5]

You might also want to look into some counseling during this six months. There are tons of issues all whirling around in your head right now -- wanting to have a baby, losing weight and dealing with all the changes that will bring, wanting to make your family happy but also wanting to be an independent adult. I think ANYBODY with that much on her plate would really be doing herself a favor by talking to somebody who can help get it sorted out.

I know I've been in therapy for three years and it's been a total lifesaver for me. And it's another one of those things that it's better not to delay until you're my age! LOL

And I'm sending more hugs, too!!

[ryansgirl 1]

Good luck with your 6 months and trainer. personally i was 24 when i had my surgery I didn't even tell my family i was having the surgery. i just went and had it done. ive come to learn sometimes it best just to do what you need for you and move on. After your 6 months out everyone will be sanging a different tune and they will be focus on something else. I hate the biggest loser it gives such a shrewed look on obesity and gives too many misunderstanding about obesity. Also there are stories of people once they live the ranch some gain there weight back ect. i always tell people don't even compare real life to that show. Also with this weightloss sugery it not all to end all you still have to work hard at the end of the day everyday. it just a tool not magic i wish other people would understand that but that another note and subject. :thumbup1:

Edited March 21, 2010 by ryansgirl

[MlkPas 5]

That's awesome, Nikki! I love the idea of a 24 year old taking charge of her life like that!

I'm 51 and I am SO SO SO sorry I told my mom, because she has been worrying herself sick about it for absolutely no reason. She and my dad are both having some health issues right now and if I had it to do over again, I would totally have kept totally mum about the whole thing because I hate to have her worrying about me. Ugh.

[YOLANDA240 13]

May I suggest you remember why you decided to have the surgery in the first place, this will help with your decision. My husband supports me and I do not plan on including my family in my decision, when you think about it with self pay you have to wait three months with the surgeon answsering your questions and helping with any concerns.

Love your mom, but love yourself first.

Good Luck:biggrin0:

[Tiffykins 673]

So my mom really wants me to work out with a trainer for 6 months and then if that doesn't work do the sleeve. I think in that time I can look for a different surgeon, less expensive surgeon who has done more then the surgeon in my area. The sleeve is still an option but they want me to try and work out with the trainer first.

What's 6 more months right? I know its a lot, but if this makes my family happy then i think i need to do it. I really do care about what they think, and if I prove to my mom that I actually do try then maybe she'll support me to get the surgery. I really do need her support.

The one thing that kept sticking out to me was the line I bolded. I just hope that your decision makes you happy. Because ultimately, your happiness is more important than anyone elses. You deserve to be happy, you deserve to live your life to the fullest extent of happiness possibly.

Again, we're here for you. I just don't want you to endure another 6 months of possible failures, and struggles when you could make a change sooner that gives you control and a true tool for weight loss success.

And, please do not let the trainer suck you into another 6 months just because they typically do not agree with WLS, and are very judgemental when it's discussed as a viable option for people that struggle with obesity.

Kara, do what is best for you, and your health. I lived my life for my mother for so many years, and look back at those years realizing that nothing was every good enough for her no matter what I did, or which path I chose, it wasn't ever "right" for her. Then one day, I broke out of that, and couldn't be happier.