Starting at the start!

[gr8pyrmom 1]

Hi all! I just found this site a week or so ago - I have been on OH mostly but really like this site as well - nice and organized!

So, I don't have much of a "story"... yet. I am having a revision from a slipped & eroded band to VSG on 3/12. All at the same time I am nervous, excited, scared out of my mind, hopeful... well you know. Most of you have been here already.

A little background on me:

I'm 37 and as most, have fought my weight my whole life. At this point I need to lose anywhere from 80 to 110. The BMI chart says 125 but I know that is way too much. I have never been thin - I honestly don't think I am meant to be and I'm cool with that. Even at my most athletic in high school (cheer leading & gymnastics mainly) I was still not skinny. At my thinnest (during my clubbing days) I still had meat on my bones. I think back to that time and laugh because I thought I was fat!! Well, 30's me has sure shown 20's me what fat is! :001_tongue:

Anyway, I gained a ton in my late 20's and had the lap band in Jan of 01. I lost about 70# but In Feb of 02 it slipped and my stomach prolapsed up through it so I had to have emergency surgery to have it replaced. Ever since then things have just not been right. I gained it all back, pain every day, throwing up all the time, now have high bp & cholesterol, etc. The last year has been pretty bad where the pain and throwing up are concerned and the last 6 months have been sheer hell. I ditched my old doc because he is a f***ing idiot (ya, I said it), and found a great surgeon who is going to fix me (his actual words).

I'm not afraid of the actual surgery even though anesthesia makes me ill. I'm not afraid of the pain that comes with healing even though I can't take most good pain meds. What I am afraid of my weak will power, but I have already started fighting that battle. I am completely and utterly terrified of looking like Jello under flabby skin after losing the weight though. Even though I know I'll be a madwoman at the gym once cleared for exercise that is in no way a guarantee I wont look like a big mess and I have no clue where I will find the money for plastics. I know I'm getting waaay ahead of myself and I'm sure it will all work out in the end. I guess it's just the anxiety of the unknown! :001_tongue:

[Tiffykins 673]

Hey there, and welcome to VST. I'm a band to sleeve revision as well, and I can honestly tell you that I think you'll love the sleeve.

I never saw myself skinny either. But, here I am at 130lbs, and really loving it. Yeah, I got the excess skin, and flabbiness, but I wouldn't trade them in for the fat rolls and misery that came with my obesity.

Cheers to you on having your date, and keep us posted on your progress.

[gr8pyrmom 1]

Hi! Thanks for the kind words!!! I know, I'll just be happy when the weight is off. I obsessively over think things and try to jump into the future way too much!

I believe I 'know' you from the OH groups.... you have had fantastic success!

I will certainly post on my progress.... these forums are like living diaries and can be quite cathartic!

[MINI-Me 196]

Wow! 3/12 is just around the corner. How exciting for you. Welcome to the group! I know that pre and post-op, this site has been amazing for information gathering and support.

[gr8pyrmom 1]

Hi and thanks! I know - it is coming soooo fast and I have so much to do between now and then, it's unreal!

This site is indeed really great for information and every one seems very nice which is not always the case with on line forums.

[MidwestGirl 8]

Hi there! :welcome: Good to have you with us. Sounds like you have been through a heck of a lot!!! I think the anxiety is something we can all relate to but we're here when you need us! I wish you all the best with your upcoming surgery! :001_tt2:

[gr8pyrmom 1]

Awwww! Thank you so much!!! You know, when I was a little, little girl I always said "I do it my own self" whenever I wanted something. That has translated into adulthood which is, overall, a very good thing. If I hadn't been so stuck in that mantra though I may have found these boards sooner and realized that not only are there alternatives for me but that I am, by far, not the only person who has gone though all the things I have. I read some of these posts and feel like I wrote them! Not that anyone ever blamed me for the problems I had (at least not out loud), but I have received some justification by reading excerpts from other peoples posts with similar stories to my friends and family.

This extends into reading other peoples journeys with the vsg. For example, if I never read about stalls I probably would have freaked out once it happens!

These boards are great!!! :welcome:

[pnw218 14]

Congrats on your surgery date!

You made me both laugh and tear up reading your post! It is amazing how much the same we all are! I also used to think I was "fat" at 125/130 pounds. Now I have had surgery to get there again!

Just wanted to mention a few things to maybe help your frame of mind before surgery. I also dislike coming out of anesthesia. I have had about 8 surgeries and often wake up in tears. This time? Wasn't teary at all. I remember very little of being in recovery, do remember walking back to my room from recovery tho. I was a bit nauseous and had pain in my lungs - likely from the tube and being inflated. The clinic I was at didn't do narcotic drugs (that I am aware of, LOL) we mainly received toradol, an NSAID med. I had surgery on Thursday and quit taking the med on Sunday. I didn't have any more pain. I did use an ice pack tho on my chest the first day or two.

I was up and around very quickly altho was careful not to overdue it. I really think if you go into surgery with a positive attitude, you will recover quickly. When you get home, take a shower and put on real clothes. Even that will make you feel better : )

I almost did the lapband! I am so thankful that I found this site and switched to the sleeve. It has been emotional for sure; I miss food very much. However, the scale is now my "friend". I actually look forward to standing on it every few days. I have also had very good luck moving thru clears to full and now mushies. I feel very fortunate.

Good luck to you!!

[gr8pyrmom 1]

I'm right there with you! Isn't it crazy how we perceive ourselves? 125# fat - HA!!!

You are 110% correct about the positive attitude. That counts for 1/2 the battle - whatever the battle may be! I am afraid of missing food, like you were. I think though that again, like you, once I start to see the scale move I probably wont miss it too much! I'm using this as a turning point for a lot of things in my life - money, neatness, activity, nutrition, etc. 2010 will be the year of Michelle 2.0, new and improved!

I apologize to all those out there who love their bands but you were very smart NOT to get it. From what I have read on these boards people are in love with it the first couple years then want or need it removed. I have found very few long term band people on the sites. I try to look at their stories with out comparing them to mine but so many are the same. It is sad.

I'm sure you will continue to have amazing success with the sleeve!

[thinoneday 445]

Welcome and good luck on your journey!

[gr8pyrmom 1]

Thank you thank you!!!!!