Are we messengers?

[Tiffykins 673]

I understand not being the "social gym rat". I tried having a work out buddy. EPIC FAIL. She wanted to gab, and halfa$$ it during the lifting sessions.

Anyways, I've been asked by my surgeon if I would come in and do testimonials during the pre-op informational seminar, and while I have considered it, I'm not sure that I want to stand up in front of a room full of strangers and tell them all my story.

There's a lot to be said for the anonymity of the internet. I did pop into one of the seminars because my bowling partner is getting the sleeve after watching me for the last 6 months living this wonderful post-sleeve life. The other pre-ops kind of oogled me, and wanted to know which surgery I had, how much I had lost, how I did it, and I was bombarded with questions about excess skin, and hair loss. I told them if those were their biggest concerns then they didn't need to have any of the weight loss surgeries. It may be harsh, but it's true. I honestly believe that if you're more worried about a little excess skin and Hair loss then surgery isn't for you. When someone is willing to focus on the positives, healthier life, longer life, better food choices then I'd be more open to discussing all the little crap we endure through this journey.

Plus, I feel like I am far too biased to give a speech to a room full of people seeking VSG, RNY or the band. I would beg the RNY'ers to really think twice about it considering all the regain, and I would tell the pre-bandsters just how deplorable my quality of life I lived with my band. I couldn't talk bad about the sleeve, and that doesn't seem fair to bash the others that are offered.

As for the smoking thing, I think what bothers me about shunning smokers, is that the exhaust off of most vehicles is more dangerous than the 2nd hand smoke that we're puffing away into the sky. LOL just kidding, I'm a smoker so y'all know I have to defend my one disgusting habit that I just can't seem to kick yet.

[cajun 46]

Tiff,

As usual, you are just so sensible, and sensitive to others. I appreciate your comments.

I'm like you with the buddy system...when I have a serious goal (like this wt loss goal), I just want to focus focus focus and get the job done...no messing around with it. I'd rather work my program by myself, and use the support of this forum as I need, on my own time. I've never considered looking for meetings or even a gymn membership...which I've tried in the past, paid dearly, and not gone enough to get my money's worth. Instead, I bought a really nice treadmill, some exercise bands, yoga and band videos, and "do my thing" at home. It's working so I am happy.

Although I have now told some close acquaintances at work about my surgery, I get aggravated when others want to know how I am losing...I don't know for sure why, but I feel like it is none of their business and wish they would quit interrogating me ... all they get is "eating less and exercising more". I guess I am aware on some level that they don't really CARE and are just wanting some gossip material. I work with some big time gossipers and I don't like to participate in that game.

You're one of my hero's. THANKS.

[carolyn24seven 11]

@Burnout Go out of your comfort zone for the gym guy. Get a "fat" picture of yourself. Go with some workout clothes when he does. Then just talk to him, show him the picture. He is showing signs of wanting to change himself. So to go "out on a limb" and talk to him seems approiate. AND, guys do that easier.

I have to say here that a lady I never met before was a large (sorry,pun) part of my decision to do WLS. She had done a RNY and was adorable. She had a picture in her wallet of her at 300+. WOW is all I could say. I asked why not the band (as that was what I was considering at the time) Her answer made so much sense to me. She needed the weight loss to be permanent. She needed the choice of going back OFF the table. The band can be removed and then where are ya? She was so full of life and energy. I think her name is Tammy and she is from the Houston area and I just want to thank her for talking so frankly to me. She is also now a surfer girl. She had won a surfing trip to El Salvadore, that is how we got to talking in the first place. I had just come back from El Sal from a fishing trip. We met at the Houston Drag strip at a National event. (husbands race)

My long winded point is this, establish a tiny bit of a relationship then talk frankly about the whole deal. That is the way to deliver the "message" most effectively.

That is my never-to-be-humble opinion. lol

[ryansgirl 1]

it funny you mention that because i see so many people who lose weight rather it be by weightloss surgery or eating health they feel so gong ho to rescue every obese person. i tend to think most people know they have a weight issue nobody really blind to it. i call it the science of unpertainable we all know obesity is a dauting task and most just accept that it. most of use will never be rich either. so we accept a comfort zone .of course reality is not far behind and it catches up to us all. Just about everyone know about weightloss surgery. and weightloss surgery is not for everyone. Also they could turn to us and say what about the hundreds that have gain weight back from weightloss surgery? after all it really not a cure i feel unless your a friend or something and close. matters like that is really nobody biz at all. i don't smoke but i not trying to find ways to appoarch someone about the health risk again i tend to belive most people know (plus it doesnt bother me so no flames tiffy luv lol) to me that like walking to someone and saying hey your nose is really big there are nose jobs out there for you. i say let it be. my thing when people ask me it only then i mention it other then that i don't talk about my weightloss surgery or weightloss with anyone other then family, friend and my net buddies on here. and i agree with what the guys say ever body can live there life anyway they want.:biggrin0:

Edited February 27, 2010 by ryansgirl

[Shontel 3]

I think you going up to a perfect stranger and trying to convince them to have WLS is no only intrusive, but insulting. I get the picture of a traveling evangelist trying to spread the word to those who aren't ready to hear it. Again, like others have said, if you happen to strike up conversation and have the opportunity, that's one thing. Its totally another to push your ideas on people, even though your well-meaning, it could cause more damage than good. If someone came up to me like this years ago when I was at my highest weight, I would have been MORTIFIED. I don't see myself as a messenger but an example of WLS that has (is) working. If I inspire others great, if I see others that are where I were and they ask me, I tell my story, but NEVER would I push my ideas on others. Especially strangers. Just my humble opinion. Hope I didn't offend.

[Stacy160 201]

I like the idea of chatting up gym guy IN the gym as well. At an appropriate point in the discussion you could always drop in the fact that "I've lost ___ lbs. in the last ___ [months/yrs].... here's me back then," and pull out a before pic of yourself. From there the conversation would naturally lead into your surgery. That way he'd be getting all the info, the idea would be planted, he'd look to you as an example, but it wouldn't be like you'd be approaching a total stranger and saying (in effect) "Hey, you sure are fat--this might help you!" :wink0:

[AJW 18]

I think it's a "play it by ear" sort of situation. If you can sense that the guy(s) would be open to the information coming from someone who's actually been there, then go for it. You never know what's going to be appropriate for someone else to hear. Maybe you could slip a note into his "gym" bag........just kidding. Maybe you can make up a badge that says "Ask Me about WLS" and wear that around work..........OK, kidding again. Do what feels right to you and see where it goes. The worst that can happen is the guy tells you to get away from him, ya know? Nothing ventured, nothing gained. :thumbup1: