so i told two people today...

[AJW 18]

/ Your Mom isn't you and she isn't living in your body, so IMO she doesn't get a vote. Don't tell her until after it's over and you start losing. Then she'll notice that you're finally "getting yourself back into shape" and will compliment you. As an aside note on Mothers: One Thanksgiving after not seeing my Mom for like 3 or 4 years, we showed up for Thanksgiving dinner at her house. Before she even said Hi and hugged me, she drug me off to a bedroom and gave me my Christmas gift. Guess what it was? An exercise video. As she handed it to me her comment was "WHEN are you going to start getting yourself back in shape?!" I was floored. I hadn't seen the woman in over 3 years and these are the first words out of her mouth? I was wearing a pair of black stretch slacks and a bulky turtleneck sweater. I was probably around 185 pounds then - much less than I ened up being before surgery - and thought I looked pretty good. Apparently she disagreed. I was so hurt by that exchange I didn't talk to her for a long time, and you know what, I have NEVER visited her since. She's 86 now and lives with her 48 year old husband she managed to snag because he's a bum who doesn't work. I know he's taking care of his "investment" so it's not imperative that I go visit her, and in fact, she has never asked me to come down for the holidays or any reason. Whatever. I figure one of these days I'll get a call that she passed away. We were never close. My point being: sometimes this is how it goes with judgmental parents - they lose out on seeing their kids, which is their choice. Don't sweat the small stuff, NursyGirl, and all stuff is small.

[sickofrollercoaster 7]

Tiff, you are too funny! I respect your candidness... I am considered a "lightweight" and where I work now, they have not seen me at my heaviest (245 and 5' tall). I am now about 170 but people i work with have seen me at 130 about a year ago, this was after busting my tail and following exactly the right diet... Yes, recipe for disaster when you throw in stressful job, three kids and a husband. Now I walk around the office and I feel the stares from others, YES I HAVE GAINED WEIGHT! I am still 75 pounds lighter than my heaviest BUT I am headed back up there! My Mom had WLS 16 years ago, she has been there and done that! I called her crying last week, I tried to be the "HERO", losing the weight and keeping it off on my own. It just is not healthy to lose and gain and lose and gain...

So I am scheduled for sugery on May 10th! Can't wait!

Put in for leave and I am scared of them asking me what for... Then after I return to work and the weight starts dropping off, they are gonna think I am sick!

[AJW 18]

Let 'em think what they want. You need time off to take care of your "personal business," they don't need to know what for. Interestingly enough when people see you every day they don't notice so much that you're losing weight. People who haven't seen you for a long time notice. I get my hair done every 3 weeks. For the longest time they didn't say anything, don't think they noticed, until it became obvious, and then the owner of the shop didn't even recognize me the last time I was there. That was funny. Then I told them. I just say "Yeah, I lost it thru having weight loss surgery. I feel great." They've never said "Oh, why did you do that?!" They say, "Oh, well you look great!" and mean it. I think the more positive and confident you are in your decision, the more positive the comments will be from others, unless they are just the jealous types, and them you can live without. Listen to your inner wisdom and respond accordingly. :wink0:

[wannalise 15]

We don't ever need to apologize for wanting to take care of this one body we get. And if this is the "easy" way then I hate to try the hard kind. This is still difficult, I am still the one making the choices, I am still the one having to learn how to change my life, and yes I do have the help of a tool in the sleeve, but that really is only part of the equation. At this point it would be way easier to go buy a milkshake, I know that I could suck that down, and it would taste awesome, but I eat my greek yogurt, drink my Water, and when I can't hack it anymore I come here and whine! Thanks all of you!

[AJW 18]

Wine is good; I love wine. No problem at all, wine away.:wink0:

[Debbie031010 0]

People are different. Right before I was getting ready to have my surgery. My husband and I were at bible study, one of the women ragged on Bypass Surgery, so I decided not to ask for prayers. After my surgery another women in the group notice my weight loss and I told her that I had surgery and she praised me, which made me feel good. Now, I only tell those who are in my circle, which is very few. Tomorrow bible study is at our home and my husband has decided not to say anything either. I leave it up to him who he wants to tell. He just recently told his family, he is schedule for VSG 4/21/10. My mom, dad, brother and sister are so supportive. Thank God I am a strong christian because I have hear some people say "This surgery is a bailout". Needless to say,:tongue_smilie: some people now know how I feel NOW, and I said it with a smile.

[kalex21211 0]

I have told a handful of people that I was considering WLS with all varieties of responses. I have found that most people will say "I will support you in whatever choice you make, just do your homework first and make sure you know what you are doing." And everyone probably knows someone who has had WLS and is suffering with complications. So therefore, they are gonna say something negative like "oh you dont want to do that" or " are you CRAZY??" gotta love that one...

So, for the most part, I am not gonna tell alot people about it until after it is done. And then I will tell some people, but I am not gonna walk around with a sign attached to me that says "Look at me! I had WLS" LOL And I certainly will not tell many people at all if I decide to go to Mexico. I have enough worries about that decision without other people telling me crazy stories about drug cartel killings, or how dangerous it is. UGH! I think I will just stick with the opinions of people who have had WLS and the docs they used and make an educated plan for ME, based on what is best for ME.

Good luck to you..Dont let people rain on your parade!

[sickofrollercoaster 7]

I think my main issue with other's reaction is that I am not morbidly obese right now, I have been there but those that know me now did not see me then. They have seen me lose the same 50 pounds and gain it back. At 5' tall (used to be 5' 2" but I have scoliosis!). I get around just fine, I take the stairs at work instead of the elevator, I run to my SUV in the rain instead of walk... But they don't know my history and what I am headed for with all of the stress in my life, I have three kids on my own and a very demanding career.

I can either choose to do a very healthy diet and exercise 2-3 hours a day OR I can choose to work and raise my children the way they deserve to be raised, right now it is hard to choose both, and i am sure I will get bashed for that but if you have never been a single mom of three children with a professional career then you really do not know what I have gone through.

I have dance and karate 4 nights a week, this is after an 8-10 hour work day! So my kids DO deserve a healthy Mom but I know what that takes, I have been there. I do not have the energy left at the end of the day to put them to bed at 8pm and then workout.

This is somewhat of a confession for me however my Mom has been my angel through all of this, it is a realization. I want EVERYTHING for my children so I GIVE them EVERY OPPORTUNITY, My needs come second and always have! The only reason I moved from the Morbidly Obese category to the Obese category is because 3-4 years ago, stress made me lose weight and that inspired me (sick, I know...). Now at 35, stress makes me depressed, I eat and dont care to exercise. I need the boost of motivation AND I need a tool to help me get there. Yeah, I have about 60 pounds to lose, sounds small to some but when we are talking quality of life, it is everything to this Mom!!!

I have danced all my life... My girls are heavily involved in dance. I danced at their recital last summer with some other parents, everyone says oh wow, you are a great dancer! Yes, that is part of me but I just cant show all of what I love to do until I lose this weight! My dream is to dance on stage with my girls!!!

[KZol 0]

I told the lady who manages my psych meds yesterday (that's right, I'm a psycho) because I knew there would be a roller coaster of emotions after the surgery. She'd never heard of the sleeve (surprise) but has had several patients with lap bands and said they didn't go through major depression. Now, it may be that this woman sees MAJOR depression daily and it's all relative, but is it less with the lap band because you don't physically lose a part of yourself?

[AJW 18]

There are some hormonal adjustments with weight loss anyway; I don't know about the band, but I did not experience any depression with the sleeve. The surgery itself (removal of 85% of the stomach) really has no bearing on depression or I've never heard the two things linked. Probably just the normal "whatever" anyone experiences after having any type of surgery. Some people get a little depressed from having anesthesia or a certain procedure. What I'm saying is IF you tend towards depression anyway, the surgery might bring it on, but only temporarily. You should really ask a medical professional as it relates to your particular chemistry.

I told the lady who manages my psych meds yesterday (that's right, I'm a psycho) because I knew there would be a roller coaster of emotions after the surgery. She'd never heard of the sleeve (surprise) but has had several patients with lap bands and said they didn't go through major depression. Now, it may be that this woman sees MAJOR depression daily and it's all relative, but is it less with the lap band because you don't physically lose a part of yourself?

[Tiffykins 673]

I can either choose to do a very healthy diet and exercise 2-3 hours a day OR I can choose to work and raise my children the way they deserve to be raised, right now it is hard to choose both, and i am sure I will get bashed for that but if you have never been a single mom of three children with a professional career then you really do not know what I have gone through.

I have dance and karate 4 nights a week, this is after an 8-10 hour work day! So my kids DO deserve a healthy Mom but I know what that takes, I have been there. I do not have the energy left at the end of the day to put them to bed at 8pm and then workout.

This portion of your post really hit me. I was a single mom to just one, and I can't imagine having 3 with a demanding career. I was in sales, competitive, and long, stressful days. It was difficult to juggle dieting/working out/late night paperwork/homework/reading with the kiddo and everything else.

You're 100% correct that our kids deserve the very best we can offer. I had the same thought process when choosing WLS. Plus, we want at least one more child. I refused to conceive at 270lbs. I felt it was selfish, and I couldn't handle being fat and pregnant.

Quality of life is extremely important, and you'll dance with your girls and for your girls ! ! !