feeling down and doubtful...

[Rgodinez 0]

Hi everyone,

I just had a talk with my father and 2 uncles (both uncles have the band) and all 3 of them are trying to discourage me about getting sleeved. Both uncles have the band for 3 years more or less and they have lost weight but they still have a long road to go, still they say the band is better. I'm not trying to find out which is better, band or sleeve.

I just had done my research and had decided on the sleeve but my uncles planted some doubts on me. They keep saying that they know of some person that was sleeved and died withing 3 years of the surgery, supposedly because of malnutrition and that his metabolism "slowed down" and that ended up killing that person. They did added that this man was 65 years old, but still they keep telling me to get banded because that is reversible unlike the sleeve.

They also told me that this was lived those 3 last years in regret because of the sleeve and that he went ALOT to the restroom, a lot in way that it was a problem and affected his daily life. he supposedly ate and had to use the restroom in like 20 mins or so and couldn't hold it and ultimately died.

I know both my uncles aren't doctors or anything, but it really sucks to not be supported by your family and I just wanted to throw this out there maybe someone can help me clear this out and tell if their stories can be true or not.

thank you very much

PS: I'm embarrassed :thumbup: to ask this, but they also told me that this person had no energy and was always filling down (not even wanted to get intimate with his partner if you know what I mean) although I guess that his age could have something to do....sorry if I offended anyone :sad0:

[Tiffykins 673]

Let me just say that some of that information is definitely highly questionable, if not all together false.

I would recommend that you research gastrectomies for cancer and ulcerative condition patients as these surgeries have been performed since the early 1900's. There are 1000's upon 1000's of gastrectomies performed every year across the world, and the majority of patients live a normal, healthy, and fulfilling life. I've read on here, and other places where people's stomachs have been completely removed due to cancer, and it did NOT affect them in the way that your uncles have described.

The complications can cause death, but so can having your appendix removed. If that person died with a sleeve, I'm sure there is more to the story such as complications with the sleeve, or non-compliance on the patient's part of the post-op diet.

I am full of energy, my sex life is fabulous (my husband is beyond amazed how different it is with his "skinny" wife), and I only go to the bathroom )bowel movements every day or every other day with normal bm's every time.

Lastly, the band is NOT reversible. This is the biggest crock of crap with the band (and I've had both the band & sleeve). Once that band is placed around your stomach, your anatomny is forever changed. Yes, the band can be removed, or unfilled, but please believe your stomach tissue is not the same as pre-band.

I don't believe those stories. I'm sorry, I'm not saying your family is lying, but I do believe there are big time holes in the stories, and a lot of information is being left out.

Don't ever wonder about offending anyone here with questions that may seem personal. We're all adults, and believe me, we all have some kind of crazy/personal/"too much information" at some point throughout our journey.

This is just my opinion, but ignorance is bliss in this situation. Ignorance causes fear. Lack of knowledge on the surgery will only cause them to be concerned, but once you give the information and educate them, maybe they will see how the sleeve is very successful, and actually safer than the band years out. My mom and younger brother both have the band. They both just deal with all the typical band problems and think the sleeve is wreckless. But, my quality of life is so much better than puking up 2-4 times a week, and pain in my abdomen. Education is power, I would suggest having your uncles get a hold of documented cases, and information before forming an opinion and trying to scare you.

[Rgodinez 0]

Tiffykins,

Thank you very much, I kept checking my email looking for replays to this thread , your words really cheer me up..I'll investigate more on gastrectomies and I guess I'll make a list of questions and email them to my Doctor... thnx again and I guess in the end once I'm post-op my uncles will see the difrence

thnx

[LAN2k 18]

Thanks Tiffy for replying to this post because in my current state of mind it only added to my fears.

[RubyTuesday 0]

Hi there Rgod-

First of all, I'm so sorry you're not being supported in your decision. It is so important to have a support system through all this, and so, I hope you are able to have SOMEONE there to root you on. Secondly, each person needs to make a decision about this surgery on their own. It's major surgery, and absolutely carries risks with it, but, for me at least, the risks were worth it.

I find difficult to understand that the fellow died of malnourishment. Since there is no malabsorption component to this surgery, if you take your Vitamins and eat sensibly, you shouldn't have a problem. Also, this surgery is OFTEN performed on people with stomach cancers. The surgery itself has been performed for a while now, but it's new to the weight loss surgery realm of things.

I'm so happy your uncles have had success with the band. But trust your instincts. If the sleeve is right for you, then that's what matters.

My personal journey has been uncomplicated and easy after the initial two weeks. The only trouble I've encountered is a little depression immediately following the surgery. I have PLENTY of energy, in fact more than I've ever had. And now, I'm happy, and down 56 lbs in just over 2 months.

Good luck in your decision and let me know if you need anything or have any questions!

-Ruby

[annak4 1]

I am a band to sleeve revision. I had success with the band until my pouch stretched out and I developed reflux and other problems. My surgeon said at the seminar that you should not go into the band surgery planning on it being reversible. It needs to be a lifetime commitment.

I was very lucky that my band did not cause damage to my stomach. I never know how much damage the band could do until I joined this board and read other people's stories. Band may be the lowest risk but it can do a lot of damage.

I wish you the best in making the decision that is right for you.

[FabBy50 0]

I'm another band to sleeve revision, if you do some research you will see a LOT of revisions. What does that tell you? I can only tell you my experience with the band and it was HORRIBLE!! Plus I never got to goal, just like your family members. With the band it was a lot of WORK, struggle, pain and just not worth it. I think you are making the best decision you could! I have had my sleeve almost 3 weeks now and I LOVE it!! No messing around, just eat and go!

Good luck on your decision, and I'm sure a lot of ex-bandsters will chime in too!

[thinoneday 445]

Hi everyone,

I just had a talk with my father and 2 uncles (both uncles have the band) and all 3 of them are trying to discourage me about getting sleeved. Both uncles have the band for 3 years more or less and they have lost weight but they still have a long road to go, still they say the band is better. I'm not trying to find out which is better, band or sleeve.

I just had done my research and had decided on the sleeve but my uncles planted some doubts on me. They keep saying that they know of some person that was sleeved and died withing 3 years of the surgery, supposedly because of malnutrition and that his metabolism "slowed down" and that ended up killing that person. They did added that this man was 65 years old, but still they keep telling me to get banded because that is reversible unlike the sleeve.

They also told me that this was lived those 3 last years in regret because of the sleeve and that he went ALOT to the restroom, a lot in way that it was a problem and affected his daily life. he supposedly ate and had to use the restroom in like 20 mins or so and couldn't hold it and ultimately died.

I know both my uncles aren't doctors or anything, but it really sucks to not be supported by your family and I just wanted to throw this out there maybe someone can help me clear this out and tell if their stories can be true or not.

thank you very much

PS: I'm embarrassed to ask this, but they also told me that this person had no energy and was always filling down (not even wanted to get intimate with his partner if you know what I mean) although I guess that his age could have something to do....sorry if I offended anyone

Rgodinez, may i say a thing or two. . i was sleeved on Dec 29, 2009 (about 3 weeks ago) and it was the best surgery i have ever had (I've had 18 major surgeries) I didn't have nausea, no vomiting, was up and about that same evening of surgery and other then pain, felt great. . yes i had some issues mentally for a minute there and voiced those issued here on the forum under the confession thread, but i don't regret getting sleeved at all. . . i have found it's all in our heads. . . as far as dying that is wrong, because the sleeve has only been out there about 2 1/2 years. . it's a new procedure. . . pooping yourself to death is wrong too, you don't, I think that your uncles are thinking about the RNY and dumping syndrome. . . i only had the trots in the beginning because of the contrast dye they use to check for leaks, but after that i was fine. As far as the intimate part, honey your getting you stomach worked on not your hoohoo, the man probably had diabetes or something and probably was on tons of medications or he just plain lost interest . . you get your sleeve honey, I can't tell you enough how many people I have known who have rec'd the band and are so very unhappy with it, and how many have converted to the sleeve. . . my girlfriend in Houston had the band done 2 years ago and has lost only 60 lbs, I have been sleeved only 3 weeks and have lost about 32 lbs so far. . . it's your body and your choice. . . you have to live with you decision every day of your life, you must make the right choice now, but i'll tell you one thing, I'm glad I chose the sleeve . . . good luck

Edited January 19, 2010 by thinoneday

[Suzannesh 376]

Hi,

I think your uncles have some "Wrong" information". I think people will always try to tell you about things that they know so little about--they only know about the band. What is their source of information? Ask them to prove it--not just gossip or hear say! I am thinking that they have confused "bypass" surgery with Sleeve surgery. I had my surgery when I was 63 it is fabulous, I wouldn't trade it for a band if they gave me one for FREE:sad0:. You know what you want in your heart, trust YOUR feelings and know that you are headed in the right directions. You have educated yourself done some research and kinow this is right for you. This is about YOU and not them. NEVER forget that!

As far as lack of desire for having intimate relations with your partner--I will be blunt--that is a bunch of CRAP! Who are these men talking with?? Again what is their source of information. Make them PROVE this with some written statements or real people who will share this with you who have had a sleeve. Talk to people with a sleeve NOT the band. It is like comparing oranges and apples. DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU AND NO ONE ELSE.

Suzanne

225 125 125

Start Now Goal

Sleeved 10/21/08

Hi everyone,

I just had a talk with my father and 2 uncles (both uncles have the band) and all 3 of them are trying to discourage me about getting sleeved. Both uncles have the band for 3 years more or less and they have lost weight but they still have a long road to go, still they say the band is better. I'm not trying to find out which is better, band or sleeve.

I just had done my research and had decided on the sleeve but my uncles planted some doubts on me. They keep saying that they know of some person that was sleeved and died withing 3 years of the surgery, supposedly because of malnutrition and that his metabolism "slowed down" and that ended up killing that person. They did added that this man was 65 years old, but still they keep telling me to get banded because that is reversible unlike the sleeve.

They also told me that this was lived those 3 last years in regret because of the sleeve and that he went ALOT to the restroom, a lot in way that it was a problem and affected his daily life. he supposedly ate and had to use the restroom in like 20 mins or so and couldn't hold it and ultimately died.

I know both my uncles aren't doctors or anything, but it really sucks to not be supported by your family and I just wanted to throw this out there maybe someone can help me clear this out and tell if their stories can be true or not.

thank you very much

PS: I'm embarrassed to ask this, but they also told me that this person had no energy and was always filling down (not even wanted to get intimate with his partner if you know what I mean) although I guess that his age could have something to do....sorry if I offended anyone

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

If you want to, go to Obesityhelp.com and look for MacMadame . On her profile she has all kinds of links to studies about the sleeve. They are all very informative.

[longhorn 11]

Just my opinion. But this is a great example of why I think it's best to do your own research and keep your plans to yourself and only those very closest to you. Uninformed opinions by others only confuse the situation.

[Jaffa 5]

People want to believe that what they did was the best decision. It is just human nature.

Don't do it!!!! Get the sleeve and be done.

[NtvTxn 1,262]

Rgodinez, may i say a thing or two. . i was sleeved on Dec 29, 2009 (about 3 weeks ago) and it was the best surgery i have ever had (I've had 18 major surgeries) I didn't have nausea, no vomiting, was up and about that same evening of surgery and other then pain, felt great. . yes i had some issues mentally for a minute there and voiced those issued here on the forum under the confession thread, but i don't regret getting sleeved at all. . . i have found it's all in our heads. . . as far as dying that is wrong, because the sleeve has only been out there about 2 1/2 years. . it's a new procedure. . . pooping yourself to death is wrong too, you don't, I think that your uncles are thinking about the RNY and dumping syndrome. . . i only had the trots in the beginning because of the contrast dye they use to check for leaks, but after that i was fine. As far as the intimate part, honey your getting you stomach worked on not your hoohoo, the man probably had diabetes or something and probably was on tons of medications or he just plain lost interest . . you get your sleeve honey, I can't tell you enough how many people I have known who have rec'd the band and are so very unhappy with it, and how many have converted to the sleeve. . . my girlfriend in Houston had the band done 2 years ago and has lost only 60 lbs, I have been sleeved only 3 weeks and have lost about 32 lbs so far. . . it's your body and your choice. . . you have to live with you decision every day of your life, you must make the right choice now, but i'll tell you one thing, I'm glad I chose the sleeve . . . good luck

Amen....and I'm LMAO, well said and hysterical to boot!

[NtvTxn 1,262]

Just my opinion. But this is a great example of why I think it's best to do your own research and keep your plans to yourself and only those very closest to you. Uninformed opinions by others only confuse the situation.

A good ol' fashioned kiss my a*s ~ could alleviate the situation!

[cajun 46]

That's a good example of why not to tell...I only told two best friends and one family member, and was supported. I did not want to hear all the "what if"s from others. I did my own research, and it sounds like you did too. As a nurse for over 30 years, I am VERY cautious and researched the medical journals as well as surgeons who do bariatric surgery. My decision to have the sleeve, and which surgeon to use, was based on FACTS, and I also listened to what people said on this forum, some of whom were very biased one way or the other. But I just listened, and then made up my own mind, mostly based on the FACTS that I learned from medical journals and credentials of surgeons.

Trust your gut. Don't try to convince or change anyone else's mind or you will become more frustrated. Personally, I would not even discuss the issue with non-supportive persons. Just make up your own mind after you have studied the FACTS, and do what you think is best for YOU. If others approach you with negative comments, just thank them for caring about you, don't prolong the conversation, and proceed on with your plans, what ever they are.

We are here to support you, what ever you decide. Keep in touch, read as many posts on this forum and on Obesity Help (where you can find surgeons' credentials), and you will be on the right road!