Expectations

[SherriWittler 1]

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I saw this post on another WL support site and did find it veryinteresting. Some of the things this guy says really DOES make youthink. I know I AM quilty of several of the things he wrote about.Remember, this is NOT me writing the following stuff ... It is justsomething I copied from somewhere else. I hope reading it can helpUS all out.Sherri*****************************************************Enough is enough... the truth about the bandI've been reading a lot of the posts lately, and noticing a fewtrends.

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I thought I might address them.

</PRE>

Many of you are not going to like it, and I expect to get flamed. Iam not trying to peeve folks off, but I feel it is time for someoneto post a frank discussion on the band. Take my words with a grainof salt. This is not directed at any one person in particular, butat a general trend of threads appearing lately. If you're pissed atme after this… OK, but then again, maybe you'll get something out ofit in between the anger.

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Here it is…

</PRE>

Quit your whining.

</PRE>

The band is not a miracle. It does not magically make caloriesdisappear from food. It is a tool you need to work WITH not AGAINST.If you work against it, you'll fail. End of story.

</PRE>

Let's clear up a few misconceptions about the band.

</PRE>

The band is not malabsorptive like the gastric bypass. The GB worksby allowing the patient to eat less, and more to the point, toabsorb LESS calories from the food they eat. The band ONLY restrictsthe QUANTITY of food, not the QUALITY. If you continue to eat high-calorie crap, you'll lose nothing… period. What this means is thatyou DO need to change your eating habits. You need to eat healthierfood, and less garbage. Some folks will lose some weight with theband because of the smaller quantities without changing their eatinghabits, but that loss will slow or stall, and WILL NOT BESUSTAINABLEunless they learn new habits. Face it folks, what we eat is what gotus fat in the first place. If you don't wanna change that, then youcan stay fat, and don't complain that you aren't losing.

</PRE>

Yes, you can have occasional treats. I am not saying that you haveto live a deprived life with no treats ever again, but keep themoccasional, and keep them small. Dessert every day is NOTOCCASIONAL. Once a week, maybe. Start looking at your favorite foodsand look for ways to make them healthier. Maybe use less fat, orhealthier fats, leaner cuts of meat, more veggies etc. Try to treatyourself with healthier foods as well, fruit instead of pie, bakedpretzels instead of fried chips, try those rice cakes you see in thestore. When you do have a treat… have ONE SERVING. Look at thelabel… if it says that 9 rice cakes are 1 serving… count them outand only have 9, not the whole bag! Use the sugar-free versions ofthings, the lower fat versions, and the lower carb versions… eatmore fresh foods, and less from packages. Yes, I know that freshfood is more work… too bad. You wanna get healthy? Then do it right.Kraft in the box might go down fine, but is it the right thing todo? Make the effort to cook healthier. It takes more time, butaren't you worth it?

</PRE>

RNY and Gastric Bypass patients need to diet too. If you think thatthey lose faster, you are right. In essence from malabsorbtion, theytechnically starve to lose initial weight, and lose a lot… morequickly than we do. SO WHAT?!?!? The human body is an amazing thing.It is smart, and learns to compensate. If the GB/RNY patient doesnot learn new, healthy eating habits, then they WILL GAIN THE WEIGHTBACK. In the long run, we have the advantage, as we do not lose atALL without new habits. We have to learn from the get-go, and in theend… our system willl adjust with us as we lose… not giving oursmart body a chance to get used to the new "arrangement" andcompensating for it. RNY/GB might look like a miracle, but it isn'teither. You still are the one in control, but the complications forit are much worse. I'm not dissing it, it is the right choice forsome, but for those who which to switch, simply because they havenot been doing the band with TRUE lifestyle changes… well… they arefooling themselves. Wisen up, and realize YOU need to change to makeany bariatric surgery a long-term success.

</PRE>

Head hunger, and stress eating are real. They are some of the thingsthat got us here. If it happens to you… GET HELP. Don't just standthere and say… duh, I don't know how to stop. Get on a program, seea therapist, join a bandster support group. Don't just cry aboutit…, DO SOMETHING. If you know emotional eating is an issue, thenyou have an EMOTIONAL PROBLEM, best dealt withby a therapist. Guesswhat folks, that is part of a whole weight loss program! Some maynot need it, but if these issues plague you, then get the help! Thatleads me to the next one…

</PRE>

Yes, you DO NEED TO EXERCISE. If you think you don't, then you arebeing foolish. Exercise does not mean a formal program at a gym witha personal trainer (although that is a GREAT IDEA). It means gettingout there and moving… biking, skating, swimming etc. Move… move…move!!! A sedentary life is another of the things that got us here.If you think sustained weight loss will happen without it, then youare again fooling yourself. Don't forget, that other than ahealthier life, the number 2 reason we got this done was to lookbetter. Folks, diet alone will not give you a better bod, exerciseand diet will.

</PRE>

This is not a liquid diet. Yes you will have periods of being onliquids, before and after surgery, and right after fills, but thisis not meant to be liquids for life. The band works by allowing asmall amount of food to stay in the pouch for a while, keepinghunger away. If all you have are Protein shakes… well frankly, theypass right thru, and give NO sustained satiety. You'll be hungry.Period. If all you can get down are liquids, then you are TOO TIGHT.It will NOT HELP YOUR WEIGHT LOSS TO BE TOO TIGHT! In fact, theopposite is true. If you cannot eat solid foods you will likelygain, because liquid CALORIES ARE MORE DENSE. You have GOT TO eatsolid food.

</PRE>

Low carb does not mean NO carb. Should you restrict carbs… yep. Weeat too many. This does not mean eat only Protein. You cannotsurvive on only protein, you need veggies and carbs too… just lessof the carbs than you have been having. For one, try using healthiercarbs… want a potato? Eat a small baked red-skin new potato, withsome butter spray on it… instead of fries. Try Dreamfields low-carbpasta for Sunday spaghetti dinners, try brown rice instead of MinuteRice. Avoid the carbs in packaged foods… Mac and cheese, rice a ronietc. If you want mac and cheese, make it from scratch with lower fatcheese and Dreamfields or whole wheat Pasta. Use wholegrain bread, not Wonderbread. And… eat carbs last. Eat the protein first, thenveggies, then if you have room finish your carbs. Lastly… eliminatethe sugar… get it out period

</PRE>

Fast food is bad. End of story. Stay away from it… all of it.

</PRE>

Is a pre-op liquid diet important? You bet your boots it is. No, Iknow not all doctor's ask for it… but that doesn't change the factthat they should be asking for it. First off, it shrinks the liver,making it easier for the surgeon to perform the procedure. Second,it begins the weight loss process. Third, it speeds up recovery byhaving the body have less solid waste in the digestive tract, itwill work less, and not stress the points where the band is attached.

</PRE>

Is the post-op diet… liquids… mushies then solids important? Seeabove. This is for healing. Yes you can eat solid food sooner, and Iknow that this varies from doctor to doctor, but that doesn't meanit should. The stomach needs time to heal, and even though you CANeat solids earlier doesn't mean you should. Heal properly first. Asmost docs will say, any weight loss during this phase is a bonus.This is not the time for loss but healing. May folks WILL gain whengoing to mushies. Expect it. If you don't, you are one of the luckyfew… not the norm. Most folsk do not see real weight loss forMONTHS. This is how it is, deal with it.

</PRE>

You WILL NOT LOSE ALL YOUR WEIGHT IN A COUPLE MONTHS. Especiallythose of you with under 75 lbs to lose. Less to lose, the slower itwill be… that's it folks. If you got the band with 60-75 lbs tolose, do NOT expect to lose as much a month as someone who has200lbs to lose. Won't happen. If the doc told you it did, he lied.Most successful band patients lose 75% of their excess weight in theFIRST 2 YEARS… yep… years, not months. Deal with it… you are notgonna lose it by summer for swimsuit season. This is not intended tobe SPEEDY weight loss… if you don't get that, see #3 above.

</PRE>

It's OK to go to a foreign country to get my band because it is moreaffordable to me… Hmmm this one is debatable, and I will keep myopinion of foreign docs out of it. First off, when it comes tosurgery for my body, I don't want the lowest bidder, even though Iwas also self pay… but let's put that aside. I see too many folksgoing to places like Mexico for this procedure because they say thedoc is a brilliant surgeon… this is only 10% about the actualsurgery folks! It is the pre and aftercare provided that makes itwork. If you do NOT have an aftercare doc set up locally BEFORE yougo to Mexico for the surgery… then you are making a HUGE MISTAKE. Iam getting tired of seeing folks say…" I just got my band lastweekend, anyone know of any docs I can see for fills around here?"Geez?!@?!? What are you thinking? Didn't you have this all set upbeforehand? How could you have such a procedure done to your body… aprocedure that requires constant attention (and it is not just forfills folks!) and not be prepared before you do it? If this is yourplan, then I am confused on what you are doing. Aftercare with theband is not just fills, and you need access to a band doc locallyfor any problems. Sure you can get the procedure done in Mexico, buthave preparations for aftercare BEFORE they cut you open.

</PRE>

Look at the whole program. This is NOT just a surgical option. I'vesaid it before and I'll say it again, the surgery is only 1 hourlong… the rest of my life will be losing and maintaining myhealthier body. Nutritionists, exercise physiologists,psychologists, dieticians, support groups, a good fill doc… theseare ALL necessary to lose and maintain our health. If you only dealwith some of them… you'll fail. When you scout out docs to do thisprocedure, see how they deal with ALL of these factors…not just arethey a good cutter. Then, after the surgery, follow through with allof these.

</PRE>

If you don't know… ASK! The doctor, not the web group. Sure, it'sgreat to get support and ideas here, but I am amazed how many peopleare on here soliciting medical advice… ASK YOUR DOC! If he won'tgive you a straight answer… then he's not a good doc, and you needto seek out a better one. I mean COME ON!?!?! Now that we have thatstraightened out… let's say your doc tells you to do something… likestay on liquids for 2 weeks… DO IT. If he is a good doc, then thereis a reason to do what he says. This is NOT about you making yourOWN… UNEDUCATED judgment calls… he's the pro here… do what he says.If you don't understand why… then we go back to… ASK.

</PRE>

I'm sure I could say more, but I am also sure that I've pissed offhalf the folks who have read this.

</PRE>

Just had to get it off my chest. It is HARD WORK. Anythingworthwhile is. If you thought it was gonna be easy, then you wereeither lied to, or deluding yourself.

</PRE>

Work hard… get healthy… have a good life. We are ALL worth the time,effort and yes money, to be better healthier people.

</PRE>

__________________

Big Paul

Banded Nov. 17, 20051st fill 1/3/2006: 3.2cc

2nd fill 2/7/2006: Removed 3.0cc, replaced 4.0cc

3rd fill 3/6/2006: Removed 3.6cc, replaced 4.0cc

Unfill 3/14/2006: Removed 4.0cc, replaced 3.2cc

4th fill 4/3/2006: Removed 3.2cc, replaced 3.8cc

371/236/189135 lbs lost!

47 lbs to go!

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[leatha_g 4]

Yup. This is a thread on LBT as well. Welcome!

[FunnyDuddies 6]

ok, the funny thing is that his words were powerful enough to be used on another board, and then they found their way back here. Bravo!

[FunnyDuddies 6]

since his original post was deleted to some heated debates and words that shouldn't have been said, I wanted to bump this thread so that Big Paul's words of wisdom can be shared once again for anyone who wishes to read them. I know that not everyone will agree with this post, but a lot of people believe in these rules, and believe that this is the way to have a successful banded life. Lets play nice so that these words are not taken down yet again.

Thank you Big Paul!!

[WENDY ANN 0]

Bumping this up too! I am thinking about a band and Paul has not changed my mind. I have been listening to everyones advice and I know there isn't a guarantee. I guess I'm just looking for some added strength while dieting and the constant feeling of being on a diet will help. I have dieted and have lost 100 plus pound so I know it's acheavable. It's just that I had more time to deal with a diet and a diet buddy back then, which I don't have anymore. If I could bring her back to Indiana to stay I would. She now live in Texas and is doing just as well as I am. NOT!!!! I have submitted my paperwork for the Lapband. I have to see a weightloss Doctor for six months. Okay, I can play their game. :thumbup:

[123crod 170]

Wow, I bet he felt better after he got all that off of his chest. I have been band over a year and I get tired of the same old topics too, but a year ago that was me asking for information and people answered my posts and help me so I say help where you can and be nice. There is a lot of nastiness on here sometimes too.

Cheri

[btrieger 21]

Holy crap!! I could have written this myself. I am in agreement 100%.

I wonder where Paul is these days?

[WENDY ANN 0]

Holy crap!! I could have written this myself. I am in agreement 100%.

I wonder where Paul is these days?

Yes, Where is Paul? How is Paul Doing? The 6 months of being on a diet thu the lapband doctors is okay. I really don't mind. I suppose they have to really see if I could lose weight. I will do my best. It's just a lot of yo-yoing my whole life. I really needed the band to be my buddy. I guess it will have to be the clinic for a while. Oh, well. I will let you know how that goes. :thumbup:

[JillianRN 0]

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I saw this post on another WL support site and did find it veryinteresting. Some of the things this guy says really DOES make youthink. I know I AM quilty of several of the things he wrote about.Remember, this is NOT me writing the following stuff ... It is justsomething I copied from somewhere else. I hope reading it can helpUS all out.Sherri*****************************************************Enough is enough... the truth about the bandI've been reading a lot of the posts lately, and noticing a fewtrends.

</PRE>

I thought I might address them.

</PRE>

Many of you are not going to like it, and I expect to get flamed. Iam not trying to peeve folks off, but I feel it is time for someoneto post a frank discussion on the band. Take my words with a grainof salt. This is not directed at any one person in particular, butat a general trend of threads appearing lately. If you're pissed atme after this… OK, but then again, maybe you'll get something out ofit in between the anger.

</PRE>

Here it is…

</PRE>

Quit your whining.

</PRE>

The band is not a miracle. It does not magically make caloriesdisappear from food. It is a tool you need to work WITH not AGAINST.If you work against it, you'll fail. End of story.

</PRE>

Let's clear up a few misconceptions about the band.

</PRE>

The band is not malabsorptive like the gastric bypass. The GB worksby allowing the patient to eat less, and more to the point, toabsorb LESS calories from the food they eat. The band ONLY restrictsthe QUANTITY of food, not the QUALITY. If you continue to eat high-calorie crap, you'll lose nothing… period. What this means is thatyou DO need to change your eating habits. You need to eat healthierfood, and less garbage. Some folks will lose some weight with theband because of the smaller quantities without changing their eatinghabits, but that loss will slow or stall, and WILL NOT BESUSTAINABLEunless they learn new habits. Face it folks, what we eat is what gotus fat in the first place. If you don't wanna change that, then youcan stay fat, and don't complain that you aren't losing.

</PRE>

Yes, you can have occasional treats. I am not saying that you haveto live a deprived life with no treats ever again, but keep themoccasional, and keep them small. Dessert every day is NOTOCCASIONAL. Once a week, maybe. Start looking at your favorite foodsand look for ways to make them healthier. Maybe use less fat, orhealthier fats, leaner cuts of meat, more veggies etc. Try to treatyourself with healthier foods as well, fruit instead of pie, bakedpretzels instead of fried chips, try those rice cakes you see in thestore. When you do have a treat… have ONE SERVING. Look at thelabel… if it says that 9 rice cakes are 1 serving… count them outand only have 9, not the whole bag! Use the sugar-free versions ofthings, the lower fat versions, and the lower carb versions… eatmore fresh foods, and less from packages. Yes, I know that freshfood is more work… too bad. You wanna get healthy? Then do it right.Kraft in the box might go down fine, but is it the right thing todo? Make the effort to cook healthier. It takes more time, butaren't you worth it?

</PRE>

RNY and Gastric Bypass patients need to diet too. If you think thatthey lose faster, you are right. In essence from malabsorbtion, theytechnically starve to lose initial weight, and lose a lot… morequickly than we do. SO WHAT?!?!? The human body is an amazing thing.It is smart, and learns to compensate. If the GB/RNY patient doesnot learn new, healthy eating habits, then they WILL GAIN THE WEIGHTBACK. In the long run, we have the advantage, as we do not lose atALL without new habits. We have to learn from the get-go, and in theend… our system willl adjust with us as we lose… not giving oursmart body a chance to get used to the new "arrangement" andcompensating for it. RNY/GB might look like a miracle, but it isn'teither. You still are the one in control, but the complications forit are much worse. I'm not dissing it, it is the right choice forsome, but for those who which to switch, simply because they havenot been doing the band with TRUE lifestyle changes… well… they arefooling themselves. Wisen up, and realize YOU need to change to makeany bariatric surgery a long-term success.

</PRE>

Head hunger, and stress eating are real. They are some of the thingsthat got us here. If it happens to you… GET HELP. Don't just standthere and say… duh, I don't know how to stop. Get on a program, seea therapist, join a bandster support group. Don't just cry aboutit…, DO SOMETHING. If you know emotional eating is an issue, thenyou have an EMOTIONAL PROBLEM, best dealt withby a therapist. Guesswhat folks, that is part of a whole weight loss program! Some maynot need it, but if these issues plague you, then get the help! Thatleads me to the next one…

</PRE>

Yes, you DO NEED TO EXERCISE. If you think you don't, then you arebeing foolish. Exercise does not mean a formal program at a gym witha personal trainer (although that is a GREAT IDEA). It means gettingout there and moving… biking, skating, swimming etc. Move… move…move!!! A sedentary life is another of the things that got us here.If you think sustained weight loss will happen without it, then youare again fooling yourself. Don't forget, that other than ahealthier life, the number 2 reason we got this done was to lookbetter. Folks, diet alone will not give you a better bod, exerciseand diet will.

</PRE>

This is not a liquid diet. Yes you will have periods of being onliquids, before and after surgery, and right after fills, but thisis not meant to be liquids for life. The band works by allowing asmall amount of food to stay in the pouch for a while, keepinghunger away. If all you have are Protein shakes… well frankly, theypass right thru, and give NO sustained satiety. You'll be hungry.Period. If all you can get down are liquids, then you are TOO TIGHT.It will NOT HELP YOUR WEIGHT LOSS TO BE TOO TIGHT! In fact, theopposite is true. If you cannot eat solid foods you will likelygain, because LIQUID CALORIES ARE MORE DENSE. You have GOT TO eatsolid food.

</PRE>

Low carb does not mean NO carb. Should you restrict carbs… yep. Weeat too many. This does not mean eat only Protein. You cannotsurvive on only protein, you need veggies and carbs too… just lessof the carbs than you have been having. For one, try using healthiercarbs… want a potato? Eat a small baked red-skin new potato, withsome butter spray on it… instead of fries. Try Dreamfields low-carbpasta for Sunday spaghetti dinners, try brown rice instead of MinuteRice. Avoid the carbs in packaged foods… Mac and cheese, rice a ronietc. If you want mac and cheese, make it from scratch with lower fatcheese and Dreamfields or whole wheat Pasta. Use wholegrain bread, not Wonderbread. And… eat carbs last. Eat the protein first, thenveggies, then if you have room finish your carbs. Lastly… eliminatethe sugar… get it out period

</PRE>

Fast food is bad. End of story. Stay away from it… all of it.

</PRE>

Is a pre-op liquid diet important? You bet your boots it is. No, Iknow not all doctor's ask for it… but that doesn't change the factthat they should be asking for it. First off, it shrinks the liver,making it easier for the surgeon to perform the procedure. Second,it begins the weight loss process. Third, it speeds up recovery byhaving the body have less solid waste in the digestive tract, itwill work less, and not stress the points where the band is attached.

</PRE>

Is the post-op diet… liquids… mushies then solids important? Seeabove. This is for healing. Yes you can eat solid food sooner, and Iknow that this varies from doctor to doctor, but that doesn't meanit should. The stomach needs time to heal, and even though you CANeat solids earlier doesn't mean you should. Heal properly first. Asmost docs will say, any weight loss during this phase is a bonus.This is not the time for loss but healing. May folks WILL gain whengoing to mushies. Expect it. If you don't, you are one of the luckyfew… not the norm. Most folsk do not see real weight loss forMONTHS. This is how it is, deal with it.

</PRE>

You WILL NOT LOSE ALL YOUR WEIGHT IN A COUPLE MONTHS. Especiallythose of you with under 75 lbs to lose. Less to lose, the slower itwill be… that's it folks. If you got the band with 60-75 lbs tolose, do NOT expect to lose as much a month as someone who has200lbs to lose. Won't happen. If the doc told you it did, he lied.Most successful band patients lose 75% of their excess weight in theFIRST 2 YEARS… yep… years, not months. Deal with it… you are notgonna lose it by summer for swimsuit season. This is not intended tobe SPEEDY weight loss… if you don't get that, see #3 above.

</PRE>

It's OK to go to a foreign country to get my band because it is moreaffordable to me… Hmmm this one is debatable, and I will keep myopinion of foreign docs out of it. First off, when it comes tosurgery for my body, I don't want the lowest bidder, even though Iwas also self pay… but let's put that aside. I see too many folksgoing to places like Mexico for this procedure because they say thedoc is a brilliant surgeon… this is only 10% about the actualsurgery folks! It is the pre and aftercare provided that makes itwork. If you do NOT have an aftercare doc set up locally BEFORE yougo to Mexico for the surgery… then you are making a HUGE MISTAKE. Iam getting tired of seeing folks say…" I just got my band lastweekend, anyone know of any docs I can see for fills around here?"Geez?!@?!? What are you thinking? Didn't you have this all set upbeforehand? How could you have such a procedure done to your body… aprocedure that requires constant attention (and it is not just forfills folks!) and not be prepared before you do it? If this is yourplan, then I am confused on what you are doing. Aftercare with theband is not just fills, and you need access to a band doc locallyfor any problems. Sure you can get the procedure done in Mexico, buthave preparations for aftercare BEFORE they cut you open.

</PRE>

Look at the whole program. This is NOT just a surgical option. I'vesaid it before and I'll say it again, the surgery is only 1 hourlong… the rest of my life will be losing and maintaining myhealthier body. Nutritionists, exercise physiologists,psychologists, dieticians, support groups, a good fill doc… theseare ALL necessary to lose and maintain our health. If you only dealwith some of them… you'll fail. When you scout out docs to do thisprocedure, see how they deal with ALL of these factors…not just arethey a good cutter. Then, after the surgery, follow through with allof these.

</PRE>

If you don't know… ASK! The doctor, not the web group. Sure, it'sgreat to get support and ideas here, but I am amazed how many peopleare on here soliciting medical advice… ASK YOUR DOC! If he won'tgive you a straight answer… then he's not a good doc, and you needto seek out a better one. I mean COME ON!?!?! Now that we have thatstraightened out… let's say your doc tells you to do something… likestay on liquids for 2 weeks… DO IT. If he is a good doc, then thereis a reason to do what he says. This is NOT about you making yourOWN… UNEDUCATED judgment calls… he's the pro here… do what he says.If you don't understand why… then we go back to… ASK.

</PRE>

I'm sure I could say more, but I am also sure that I've pissed offhalf the folks who have read this.

</PRE>

Just had to get it off my chest. It is HARD WORK. Anythingworthwhile is. If you thought it was gonna be easy, then you wereeither lied to, or deluding yourself.

</PRE>

Work hard… get healthy… have a good life. We are ALL worth the time,effort and yes money, to be better healthier people.

</PRE>

__________________

Big Paul

Banded Nov. 17, 20051st fill 1/3/2006: 3.2cc

2nd fill 2/7/2006: Removed 3.0cc, replaced 4.0cc

3rd fill 3/6/2006: Removed 3.6cc, replaced 4.0cc

Unfill 3/14/2006: Removed 4.0cc, replaced 3.2cc

4th fill 4/3/2006: Removed 3.2cc, replaced 3.8cc

371/236/189135 lbs lost!

47 lbs to go!

</PRE>

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Amen and Amen!

[BetsyB 9]

Yup, works for me---no argument at all with everything he has to say.

[Marine mom 3]

well said. I'm sorry the thread was deleted.

[Mariasha 3]

Holy crap!! I could have written this myself. I am in agreement 100%.

I'll second that!

[WENDY ANN 0]

I'll second that!

I guess I will Third it. LOL! Yeah, a lot of truth to what Paul is saying. But come on, this is how it is. I think everyone should read this and give it some good thought. Yeah I still want the band but six months of dieting will be for me right now. I have not changed my mind. :smile2:

[gingerjane 5]

I have to agree. Sometimes people just have to call out the "elephant in the room". (No pun intended) He is speaking the truth. It's not an "easy fix" - it's a tool.

[MrsCabes 2]

Why would anyone have a problem with anything he said?!?! He was 100% RIGHT.