female only Do I really look "sick"?

[Tiffykins 673]

I posted my newest picture on my Facebook, and while talking with my mom today she mentioned that I've lost too much weight. Apparently, my younger brother thinks I look "sick" and my face looks "gaunt". I have a couple of friends who had RNY, and they looked "sick" and their faces were actually gaunt looking because they weren't following the rules. They still drank heavily, and partied all the time. I have and continue to follow the sleeve rules with the exception of Protein supplements. But, I'm getting my protein from food sources.

I personally do not see it. John doesn't think I look sick, but he does think I've lost enough weight.

Is this because all of my family is accustomed to seeing tip the scale at 250+ or do I really look sick? I know early on some of the after pictures, I did look kind of sickly, but I was sick then.

Now, I'm feeling good, and eating much better than I ever have. I'm trying not to be hypersensitive, but the last thing I want is for people to think I look sickly.

[cajun 46]

I posted my newest picture on my Facebook, and while talking with my mom today she mentioned that I've lost too much weight. Apparently, my younger brother thinks I look "sick" and my face looks "gaunt". I have a couple of friends who had RNY, and they looked "sick" and their faces were actually gaunt looking because they weren't following the rules. They still drank heavily, and partied all the time. I have and continue to follow the sleeve rules with the exception of Protein supplements. But, I'm getting my Protein from food sources.

I personally do not see it. John doesn't think I look sick, but he does think I've lost enough weight.

Is this because all of my family is accustomed to seeing tip the scale at 250+ or do I really look sick? I know early on some of the after pictures, I did look kind of sickly, but I was sick then.

Now, I'm feeling good, and eating much better than I ever have. I'm trying not to be hypersensitive, but the last thing I want is for people to think I look sickly.

Tiffany,

Being a nurse myself, I would be honest with you and tell you if I thought you looked "sick". Your photos do not look at all sick to me. You look absolutely beautiful. I think they are just so used to seeing you as obese that they are worried.

Change is hard especially for loved ones. I would just let them say what they need to say and thank them for their concern. Then quietly go on about your business of getting to your goal. No need to say that you want to lose more. You can just say "I feel fine where I am right now (which is the truth...you are fine today.) Tomorrow...well, you might want to lose a little more but that's between you and your scale. If you decide to stay right where you are at, that's fine too.

You might also want to share with them results of your normal lab tests and what your doctor says about how great you are doing.

I am so proud of you and you inspire me to keep on going even when I have bad days.

Thank you for all that you bring to us on this forum.

P.S. Here is a link to "ideal body weight" calculators...there are different opinions and different calculators. Take what you like and leave the rest. http://www.halls.md/ideal-weight/body.htm

Edited December 12, 2009 by cajun

[Malaika 50]

Tiff -- I think you look great - you don't look sick or gaunt to me - you look radiant and happy and glowing ... it's your family and it's probably their way of saying you've lost enough weight, we don't recognize you and don't think you should lose anymore ... do what you want to do - you're almost at your goal weight and they probably won't notice another 10 lbs. Keep up the great work and don't take to heart what they say ... family is usually the biggest critic.

[Lee 19]

Tiffy,

I think you look stunning, radiant and happy. You are one of the people that I've been following in my decision making process for the Sleeve. I see so much physical recovery here on VST. Congratulations on seeing your hard work and dedication to your Sleeve, show on your body.

[Tiffykins 673]

Thank you all so very much for the encouragement. I did tell my mom that my latest labs from last Wednesday were all within normal levels, and that included my Iron, vit d, B12, and my CBC was perfect.

Sincerely, many thanks. I was really worried that I was starting to look "icky".

[i1Linda 15]

Tiffy,

You look anything but sick. I showed my husband your latest picture and he said, shall I quote, "wow, she looks GREAT!" :drool5: - I had the same reaction I might add. In your pictures you are glowing and eyes sparkling. I have seen people who are "sick" and their skin is dull and eyes are flat. You are looking radiant and are truly inspiring. If your are healthy (your labs show you are) and happy, that's all that really matters.

[JudyJudyJudy 7]

Tiffy

you look fanstastic....I don't see sickly at all....Don't let them get you down.

[Timetofly 0]

I think you look beautiful, healthy and happy! I have followed your posts in my process of making a decision and I sure hope I look as "sick" as you one day!

[Jachut 487]

This issue has been known to make me go off on huge rants on lapband talk, lol, so I'll keep my temper.

I find this message comes from several motivations.

1) You really have lost enough weight but cant see it yourself and keep wanting to lose more and more. This one applies to me, big time. I still think I'm huge at 150 lb. But I do know also I'm within a healthy weight range and dont really desire to be underweight either.

2) People are just so plain fat these days that they've forgotten that yes, its normal to see bones. You should have visible cheekbones, jaw bones, collar bones, elbows, knees and ankles and your hip bones should at least be palpable. If these bones arent visible at all, its a sure sign you have too much fat. Normal faces have come to be gaunt because almost everyone these days is overweight. Even people you woulndt describe as fat.

3) People are mean and jealous of your success and need to cut you down.

You can usually judge which it is of the three, but for what its worth, I think mothers just worry too much and I personally dont listen to my own mum when she worries over how little I eat. Last I checked, it actually wasnt physically necessary to eat at least 2 cups worth of muesli at Breakfast time or a 400 gram steak for dinner.

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

Tiffy I think you look fabulous!

Do you think once you get to your goal you will keep losing because you have had trouble with slowing down the loss so you don't keep losing over 2 lbs a week? I know mac had trouble with maintenance and figuring out how to stop losing once she got to where she wanted to be.

I don't have that trouble at all because I have such a sweet tooth and a lot of head hunger even when I am really full. I wish that was not the case.

[Norma 10]

Tiffykins,

If you didn't look radiant and beautiful and sexy and healthy and glowing with love and compassion:thumbup1:, I would let you know. Your eyes, skin and hair look great in the pictures and I think that your family is just overly concerned. I have had lots of people comment about my loss of 51 lbs in 38 days in a similar manner--they are freaked out by the speed at which I am losing and are thinking that my stomach has been made too small and that I will die because I won't be able to stop the weight loss. I find that concept hilarious since I have another 130 lbs to lose. Calm yourself and enjoy looking sexy in that dress at your party. Dance the night away! :biggrin0:Besides, Caysen would tell you if you looked ill.

[GONNALOSEWEIGHT 2]

I have to say.....I agree 100% with everyone else here on the forum....you look fabulous! Keep up the great job you are doing following the "VSG Rules."

You are truly an inspiration to all of us!

[mountain_lover 3]

Hello tiffykins,

No way!! You look terrific!! I have showed so many people in my family your photos, to encourage them even more that this is the right surgery over all the rest. I like to show them especially 2 of your photos, the before picture in the beginning and your last picture updates. My son ask me if I had read all your posts to see how you are getting it off so fast and doing so well. I came home to get on the forum and looked at photos and I clicked on yours first and WOW your picture is so nice. You look wonderful. I am going to read your posts and the first one I came to is this one. You DO NOT look sickly at all!! You are a big inspiration of mine. Your pictures have incouraged me to hang in there and not back out of having the surgery. I had my surgery Dec. 2 and in 10 days I have lost 10 pounds, which 6 pounds were in the last 4 days. It does come off fast. I am trying to stay on the pureed diet, having a hard time finding things to puree that sounds edible. If you can believe it, I ate some pureed pizza topping tonight which went down ok. That is only about the 4th or 5th thing that I have pureed since day 2 out after my Clear liquids. I try to get in 2 shakes and a liquid Protein vial each day if I can. I also eat sugar free Jello, I had a small amount of low-fat yogurt and some misc. But I am trying to stick with items that have lower fat and lower sugar content, so that it will be healtier. I will be reading more of your posts to see how you are doing such a great job at getting to your goal weight without looking like you are sickly!! Have a great day and keep letting us know how you are doing.

[shanda7182 5]

Tiff,

You look great! As others have posted, I think that family/friends are just use to seeing us "look a certain" way. What looks sickly to them may be within your normal BMI!

I think you look great! A sickly looking person looks dehydrated with sunken eyes- that is not the case with you!

Keep up the good work!

[shutterbug 1]

Tiff,

You look fabulous!! I wish you lived in Michigan.. I would LOVE to do a photo shoot for you for FREE .. as a celebration of your success!!! How great you must feel... I'm so inspired by you and thank you for always taking time to answer not only mine but so many people's posts.. you are a very nice lady. :scared0: