1/4/10 My story will continue

[audra812s 0]

Should I bother to say it... yes, you know, I was always the overweight pretty girl. I was a cheerleader and always had a boyfriend, but I was fighting the battle of the bulge by age 8. At 13 I was smoking so I would eat less, not to mention trying every crazy diet that someone told me about. I can actually recall an "ice cream diet", where all you got was a half gallon of chocolate or vanilla for 3 days! That was a good diet - I remember losing weight and being able to stay on that one. I found WW at age 15, and with some success I lost 15lbs but life often happens and by the time I was a senior I was 211lbs and pregnant.

My doctor recommended RNY to me at about age 22. It scared me to death to even think about weight loss surgery back then. I had 2 small children and I was young and naive. I believed every magazine that said it was just a matter of eating the right foods and exercising. Scared to death of surgery and feeling really fat and unhappy I began Medifast. Back then it required weekly meetings and a check-in with a nurse and it was about $450 dollars per month. I lost 80 lbs and learned a lot but no real surprise I gained it all back within 2.5 years! I could tell you the sob story about needing a med that caused sugar cravings and weight increase, even in normal weight people and how unfair it was that my PCP told me that was the only medication for me, but really I doubt it would have mattered. I did learn to love to workout and that has stuck with me throughout the years.

I am 36 today. Since Medifast in '95 I think I have gone back to medifast 5 times, never to be able to stay on it for more than 3 days, back to WW countless times, Atkins, and Optifast. (I think I did NutriSystem somewhere around '93 because it was after my second son.) Except for that first time on Medifast, I never lost any more than 40lbs. Now not to sound like a whiner, I was great for those 40lbs multiple times! But I have always gained it back. I can't really say with certainly what my highest weight has ever been but it was 280 something. I know I was in such denial that back then I avoided the scale at all costs and that was around 8 years ago. I got back down to the 240's for a few years. I started to rethink WLS some time in the last 8 years. But I needed to go to school and start a more stable career so school won out and no surgery happened. In 2007 my husband and I went together to the local hospital to hear the informational meeting about the WLS available. We signed up. I was ready, he was more hesitant but that's for him to write about someday. We went through the process, 6 months of meetings, food diaries and tests. When they sent my packet to the insurance they were sure I would be approved... not to be. My husbands insurance had stopped paying for ANY WLS in Dec 06 and there was nothing that could be done. :-(

I was upset. My husband works for the state of PA. Medicaid patients who don't work, can have the surgery on the tab of ME the taxpayer, but my husband who has *worked* in a prison for the last 12 years as a counselor and now management, cannot have the surgery paid for by our insurance and neither can I. So we waited.

I am back in school and the kids are all getting older. Mine are 18, & 17 and his are 12 and 8. I am not getting any thinner and I am not getting any younger. We can't have any children of our because of my weight -- I haven't ovulated regularly in years, I have PCOS. I am beginning to feel the pain of my weight. I have lots of back pain, hip pain, ankles, arthritis and bursitis in my hips!!!! I am done with this fat issue. I will not be this way any more. My beautiful step-daughter deserves a better mom/example than what I am today, as well as all the boys.

Personally, I deserve better from myself. I was pregnant at 17, had 2 kids by 19, was divorced by 23. Since then, I have managed (while raising 2 boys) to have an OK career in computers that kept food on the table until 2002. When I got laid off I didn't have too many choices. So I went to nursing school at age 33 and went onto complete my BSN shortly thereafter. I am currently a second year doctoral student. All along the way I held my head high and worked hard, but I know the discrimination that exists (because i was thin for that brief 18+ months). I am angry, sick and tired and I am ready for surgery now.

January 4th 2010, I am headed to Mexico as a self pay patient to have the VSG and my story will continue...

[deedee 5]

Congratulations on your decision to become healthier! This has been one of the BEST decisions I've made for myself. I wish you luck on the rest of your pre-op journey.

[Bob_350lbs 105]

Audra, congratulations on your upcoming, life changing surgery!! I am sooo excited for you!!

The VG has really helped me to get a grip on my weight problem, and I was a SP too, and because of that reason, it took me 2 yrs to make the decision. You're right, it sucks about insurance not covering it for you. I know that feeling. But, like you said, I wasn't getting any thinner or younger as those two years past by. You're still young compared to me, and you have a lot of living to do in front of you. I wish I would have done this sooner, but so glad I did it!! Congrats!! We will be here to support you every step of the way.

[Chancie 65]

Audra-

Welcome to the boards and thank you for sharring your story. You won't be disapointed in your decision to self pay...... it suxs about the insurance, I too had to self pay. But it was the best decion I ever made. The best money I ever spent.

It has definitly improved my health, both physically and mentally. It gave me back my life with a whole new perspective on things.

I'm living again and enjoying life...

Congratulations on your date and I can't wait to here how your progress goes.

[thinoneday 445]

Good for you audra! It's a tough decision that is for sure. . . I'm self pay too, my surgery will be on Dec 29th here in San Antonio. . can't wait! Good luck to you, have a great Christmas a bless new year!

[renebeau 0]

Audra, welcome to the boards! Wow - you are in med school - good for you! It seems that you have not let anything hold you back, for the most part!

I am pre-op, too, and a self-pay. The info and support I have gotten from this site has helped me be SURE the sleeve is for me. I will be getting my "New Year's SleEve" on 12/31.

I look forward to sharing this weight loss journey with you!

Ren?

[Tiffykins 673]

Hi Audra, and welcome to VST. I'm glad to hear of your upcoming date, and you'll love the sleeve. Congrats on making the decision to better your life for yourself and family.

We're all here for you. Continue to post, and I look forward to getting to know you better.

[cajun 46]

Congratulations on setting your date...it will be here before you know it. I lost many pounds multiple times too, and at some point decided it was healthier to just stay put and not do the yo yo thing. When my weight started to interfere with my activities, even walking, I decided WLS was the only option. I'm so grateful that I discovered this forum, which helped me research surgeons in Mexico. There are many nurses on this forum who offer great advice and insight. Don't hesitate to ask questions.

I have a good job and insurance, but the sleeve is not covered. Actually I was kinda glad because I've saved up, and did not want to do the six months of jumping through hoops that insurance requires. Once I decided, and chose a surgeon who meets my high standards, it was done in a month. Being a "get 'er done" kind of person, that made me very happy.

I'm 2 1/2 months post op and have lost 58 lbs from my highest weight...33 of it has come off since my surgery date. No more hypertension or depression medication. Soon I'll be off the cpap. Best of all, I am active again and enjoying things I could not do for several years due to the weight.

Are you in a DNP or PhD program? Congrats on that also...you are really a "go getter", aren't you? Best of luck to you. Where are you going for your surgery?

[LAN2k 18]

Firstly I want to thank you for sharing your life story. It shows your integrity and strength in character. Congrats to your 2nd year towards your doctorate! That is beyond admirable. And congrats on your decision to take the steps necessary to fulfil your desire to finally put an end to your struggles with excess weight. I am curious to know who your surgeon will be. Best wishes for a very wonderful holiday and smooth sailing with your surgery. I look forward to hearing from you again.

[audra812s 0]

To all of you that relpied... I can't say thank you enough for the word of encouragement! I am excited but my husband is scared to death of losing me or that I will have some costly complication that bankrupts us! To answer the questions...

Dr Alvarez/endobariatrics

DNP - is a doctorate of nursing practice (a little differnt than med school) but my focus is in psychiatric/mental health, so to clarify: I will work someday as a practitioner seeing patients with illnesses such as depression, anxiety, bipolar, schizophrenia etc. Additionally, Psych NP's are trained to do various types of counseling, although that is not much of money maker as a practioner. And no I am not a go getter... I like to call myself a slacker making up for lost time! :-)

I can't wait to come home and tell you all that everything went well and post my successes for everyone else. This message board has been a huge help to me!

Thx all. Merry Christmas.