Did you tell?

[JudyJudyJudy 7]

As my date comes closer too, I've told more people. . . actually at work I've been getting quite a few negatives. . . one good one was " I can't believe the director actually approved your surgery, doesn't he know it's elective and you don't really need it". . . that one nearly blew my mind, but of course if you saw that person you'd understand. . . very selfish, fat, and jealous. . . another one of course reminded me of the model from Buenos Aires who died from the butt implant. . . I reminded her that I wasn't getting my ass worked on so I didn't need to worry about that. . . she shut up pretty fast. . . I'm sure that since these two people know about the surgery, it won't take long before the whole company knows. . . but that is ok! I haven't told my mom, sister or brother because they are worse then my co-workers. . . I'll tell my mom when she comes to visit me next year and notices my weight loss. . . or I'll just tell her I'm eating less and exercising, which of course won't be a lie. . . hehehe. . . but yeah, damned if you do, and damned if you don't. . . if your too fat your told not to eat too much, if your losing weight, your told not to lose too much. . . people have soooooooooooooo much advice, but they themselves don't listen to their own yapping. . . .good luck with all y'all do!

I can TOTALLY relate.... When I told people at work I got some bad reactions here and there. "please don't do this, I had a friend who died form this kind of surgery" "you don't need that, all you have to do it cut back and exercise" "your not big enough to have that kind of surgery"

"why would you want to do that to yourself ?" But the there were, " I'm so happy for you, you'll feel so much better when you loose weight" "awww good for you, you go girl ! " " I wish I could afford to have it done, I'd do it too" so you never know what kind of reaction you'll get, they're all different. It's a good thing other people's opinions about my personal life don't matter to me. GOD is the only one who matters.

I'm doing this for me ! I've sacrificed all my life, for my family, It's MY time.

And I took it!!! I'm SOOO Happy I did. I will have to deal with jealousy when I get back, but I can handle it. :001_tongue:

[halftheman 0]

I am pre-op and giving this much thought, my wife is the only person who knows and I plan(hope) to keep it that way. If someone asks me post op I will simply say that I am changing my eating habits and getting excercise and that will still be truthful. Simple short answers leave nowhere to probe.

[Rosebud2 26]

We don't owe strangers our personal information. I have two friends who really need the surgery and might think about it if they saw my success. I shared the information with them. People I know would not consider it and would pooh pooh it or just the plain curious don't need the information from me on my personal life.

[lucygoose 0]

I HAVE 3 SISTER'S AND UNFORTUNATELY, I TOLD EACH OF THEM SEPARATLY. WITHIN MINUTES I WAS CONRNERED BY NAYSAYERS! DIDNT MATTER THAT I AM THE SMALLEST AND HEALTHIEST OF THE BUNCH, I WAS LOOSING MY MIND. tHEY TOLD ME I NEEDED TO BE COMFORTABLE IN MY FAT AND BEING FAT WAS HEALTHIER THAN SURGERY IN MEXICO. tHEY MAY NOT TALK TO ME FOR AWHILE WHEN I GET BACK BUT WE ARE ALL GROWN HERE AND THATS OK. i HAVE MY HUSBAND AND SON'S SUPPORT SO THAT IS ALL i NEDED. i WISH i HAD NOT SOLICATED THEIR ADVICE IN THE FIRST PLACE. DONT ARGUE WITH SOMEONE WHO WILL NEVER AGREE WITH YOU. YoUR PERSONAL TIME AND ENERGY IS TOO PRECIOUS

[kabringgold 0]

Did you have the SLEEVE or the LAP BAND? I also have to have HIATAL HERNIA repair &

I have TWO ULCERS as well. Did your surgery HELP with those problems & are you happy with the SLEEVE? I'M STILL DEBATING between SLEEVE or LAP BAND and am set to do the

surgery on JANUARY 11TH 2010.

[Katrina 1]

I told everysingle person who would listen to me. I have gotten nothing but the best support from everyone. Not a single person has said anything rotten or evil. So I think its helped keep me on track since I am pre-op they ask me about my weight every two weeks. (When I have my Kaiser options classes) they cheer me on and are just great people.

[*susan* 1,709]

It is weird for me. When I got the band, I told everyone. When I revised to the sleeve, I told everyone. But, last week I started a new job. I always take my lunch and never go out. The first day I sat in the break room eating my lunch, I had several people ask me if that was all I was going to eat, pointing out where the snack machines were, etc. I started to tell them, then all of a sudden just found myself telling them I was trying to lose weight, with nothing in there about having had the surgery.

I don't think I was trying to hide it from them, and normally I am comfortable with telling people I don't even know that well. I think, for me, I suddenly realized something. This is the first time in my adult life I have started a job where I did not feel incredibly uncomfortable because of my weight. For once, I wasn't being introduced to my new coworkers and thinking to myself, "I hope they don't notice how fat I am" and other things along those lines. I don't know, I can't really explain it. I guess, for once, it is just nice not being known as the big girl who is trying to lose weight again. Gah, I don't know if this is making any sense or not. Does anyone understand what I am saying here?

[Bob_350lbs 105]

You've done so well Susan! Congrats on your success :-)

Yes, I can totally relate, I think people really don't want to know all the much personal information about us at work anyway. Just telling them you're losing weight and getting is all they really need to know.

Keep up the good work, you're doing great!

[deedee 5]

Susan,

I completely understand you. I think this is part of the reason I didn't tell my adult tap group. It was the first time I just kind of fit in and wasn't the biggest dancer, it felt neat to be "normal" even though when I started I still had around 35-40 lbs. to lose, even that felt normal to me...more manageable than in the past when people would talk about losing weight and they were meaning between 15-20 lbs. and mine was closer to 70-80 lbs.

[bigdd 0]

I only told a couple family members and my closest friend before i went. In the 1 st week afterwards I told most of the rest of my family members and now that things seem to be ok and im loosing some good weight I have told a few other people what i did especially the friends that are overweight themselves

[JeepChick 0]

I have told anyone who has asked about it. I have to get a substitute teacher and I don't want to be dishonest.

I found someone who had had the surgery done because of some investigative googling. I told her she looked great and asked her how she did it. She told me diet and exercising. I guess she wasn't lying, but seriously....

[carolyn24seven 11]

The problem with being totally honest with "everyone" is they then focus on your weight. "Can you eat that?" You don't need to do that. (drastic surgery) and, are you all right? How are you feeling? These comments and many others is what I am getting from the few people who know. I am sick of it. I would rather talk about the weather. Tiger Woods, politics, religion, anything just stop focusing on my weight! That is why I do not tell everyone the whole truth. I am eating smart/healthy. I am exercizing. That is truth enough. If I hear one more time, too bad you could not just join ______ you would have lost the weight with out drastic surgery. Aren't you afraid of ______. Sheeze I am tired of explaining myself. It is just not my mission in life to inform, re-educate, enlighten everyone about WLS.

Gosh, what a rant. I am at the 2 month phase of my journey. I think I remember this is where the anger starts coming out. lol. Whew~

I feel better. Thanks everyone.

[Chancie 65]

Carolyn-

I'm sorry you've had that kind of experience...... mine has been nothing but POSITIVE!

I have an overweight male boss.. and we get along really well, but he'll ask me "whats in that bag" if I bring in take out for lunch... and it is usuually Soup, or maybe chili, or a salad...... and sometimes I might say "nunya" ( none of your bussiness )

but he keeps me on my toes! and he always means well......Amd if he sees me "dipping" in the chocolate ( a girl at work ALWAYS had chocolate on her desk) he'll just ask........ how much did you have? and I need that....... I have even told those I can talk with..... remind me about the chocolate.......

So I appreciate the ones that help me...... and they mean well.. and want me to succeed.

I've told EVERYONE that asks...... I have not yet gotten one negative comment on why.

But......... on the other hand........... it could be that I was morbidly obese....... and they SEE how much healthier I am.......

Just my thoughts.......

[shutterbug 1]

I thought I would not want to share it with anyone who didn't "need" to know but I'm finding that I am telling more people than "not" telling and that I'm not embarrassed that I needed the help I think we know how much work still goes into it and how happy we are and that comes out in our appearance and confidence and it's funny how when you are strong like that about something you get less negativity. My mom who was one of my biggest battlers, worried about me later down the road as an old person..trying to get in all my nutrition... is now saying positive things and treats me with more respect than before surgery.. like she "sees" a change in me not just physically but my happiness and she "gets" it.

Tell when you feel something inside that wants to tell.... don't tell if you don't feel like it, it's your body, your life and your business! :lol0:

~Chandra/shutterbug

[carolyn24seven 11]

Chancie, maybe it is the difference in our starting weight and ages. I am old. Everyone is waaay used to me heavy. I am tall. 5'8". I carry the weight pretty evenly. I have too many people telling me I do not need to loose weight.(at 250 anyone needs to loose weight!) Or, I do not need to do "drastic" measurers. I am at fault here for not assurting myself.(did not want to offend) I think I am changing that thinking in my head now. I am coming around to the point of view that what I do for myself matters, and I do not have to listen to anyone else. I am thinking I am angry at myself for putting up with all the blather over all these years, instead of speaking up. It is not the people around me I am angry at, its me.

Hummmm! think I will go to the gym and work off the anger. lol.