Very Sad, Please Read

[Daughterinlaw 0]

Before I begin, I want to say that in no way do I want to offend anyone here or create a negative energy, I just want to tell our family's story up to this point, and I have some information here that you may not hear anywhere else. As a Christian I speak only the truth, and have not made anything up to offend anyone who has positive things to say about this surgery, Here we go......

My mother in law had the Vertical Sleeve Surgery October 13, 2009 in Mexico with Dr Alvarez. I have to admit that when we found out the surgery was scheduled, our family was not supportive of it at all. We were very scared for her well being, safety, etc, because she is a very naive woman who has no common sense, God Bless her. She has been heavy her whole life, and it's due to a very poor diet of fast food, and pepsi. She did not correctly follow her pre op diet (surgeon did surgery anyway knowing this), so that was more cause for concern, as well as no pre-op care from a physician, or psychological counseling. She also had no post op care scheduled for when she returned, totally convinced that she would be perfectly fine and return to work a few days later, boom... lose a ton of weight, no problem. I only wish.......

Against our warnings and pleas she went ahead with the surgery. I have to admit, everything seemed ok, The surgery went well, she supposedly showed no signs of complications afterwards and was released, only having minor discomfort. She drove home on a Thursday and by Saturday was not feeling well with fever......by Monday she was miserable. She was sent to the hospital by her boss, and ended up staying there 2 weeks with an abscess near the stomach, dehydration, and a UTI. We didn't find out till much later, that she did not take her antibiotics that she was given by the Dr in Mexico, nor did she comply with her Fluid intake.

After being discharged after 2 weeks, she was sent home, and still was running fever and continued to not comply with medication or fluids. One week later she was back in the ER, (different hospital) where they had to transfer her to another hospital to better accommodate her. (** Another important note** Not all hospitals are staffed with a Bariatric team that can help you if you have complications, many many doctors are very hesitant to work on a patient that has had surgery in Mexico. We experienced this firsthand) There after a CAT scan and upper GI they found a Leak, along with several more abscesses. This is where we are now. She has been in the Hospital another 2 weeks now and we really aren't sure when she'll return home. She is depressed and looks horrible. She hasn't eaten a solid meal since the end of September, and still cannot handle liquids so she's being fed through IV,....I worry she'll never be the same again.

Her boss got in touch with me and said not only would the insurance not cover these expenses, they upped her premium after all this started and he didn't know if he could continue to keep her on the policy. I am currently 7.5 months pregnant with my first baby,...her first grandchild, and she missed my baby shower on Sunday. She is in major debt and will most likely have to file bankrupt because now she is so behind from missing work.

I am very well aware that she is a lot to blame for her complications because she did not comply with her instructions from Doctors, and this is the reason why I wrote this post. This surgery has real risks and should be taken very seriously!!!! The naive are led to believe it's so easy and so safe, and their lives will be forever changed......well that can also end up a very negative change. There should be MANDATORY evaluations, testing, and counseling for those who want this surgery to see who's ready and who's not. If my mother in law would have done this, they would have seen she was not a good candidate, and she could have avoided all this, which makes it even more frustrating. She went to Mexico because it was "cheaper",.....and now she's out the $9,000 she paid for it, on top of the tens of thousands of medical bills she's currently racking up. Like I said, she is very depressed now that she realized she did not take it serious enough, and says it's the biggest mistake of her life. Please,.....if you want to have this surgery, really consider if you have what it takes to make it through. It takes discipline, will power, patience and prayer of course. I don't ever want to see another person go through this nightmare that our family is currently going through.

To all of you who have had a positive experience with VS, I congratulate you and wish you a lifetime of health and happiness, which I know is what you wanted in the first place. I hope I didn't offend anyone, I just really wanted to share this story.

[chillihot 0]

I am so sorry to hear of your mother-in-laws distressing situation and I am sure other members are more qualified to comment than me as I haven't had my surgery yet and I live in England but I have already had 3 appointments with another next week regarding my pre op care, I have seen a dietitian, a psychologist,had all my labs done, met the whole surgical team and have all the info and statistics of the hospital,the op and the surgeon and was given 24hour helpline numbers and I am currently on a pre op diet and my whole family and friends have known what was happening from the start and have been amazingly supportive .....and I have been told that if you don't follow the liver shrinking pre op diet and my surgeon cannot perform the op laparoscopically he will not continue as he puts it you haven't kept your side of the deal and you are not serious enough to follow that for 2 weeks why should he put your life and his reputation in jeopardy with a much longer surgery but I suppose this comes from the system we have here with a National Health Service and not a pay as you go system you have in America forcing people to find cheaper solutions and huge debts......but that is a political argument

I wish your mother in law a speedy recovery and good luck with your impending arrival

You get out of life what you put in

[mountain_lover 3]

Hello "Daughter-in-law",

I appreciate your story. I am glad that everyone posts on here, because this has been a learning experience for me through my whole journey, and I am learning more and more every day. I remember when I read a posting awhile back by ladiesassie about the importance of following the pre-op diet, I had already heard about why but her story made it really stick in my mind and easier to understand. My surgeon Dr. Husted really stresses adhereing to it for the whole two weeks, because it is very important to help for several reasons one being to help the liver become less fatty and to shrink from what I understand this makes it easier for them to do surgery. The reason is because the stomach is behind the Liver. Also by staying on the Protein Shakes and bars it is suppose to help with the healing process. My surgeon has given me all the list of complications and risks, and he encourages his patients to learn all they can by attending group sessions and getting on these forums. Each individual is different and has different health related issues. I guess what is so important is to think about everything and decide which creates a greater risk for the individual: all the risks of being morbidly obese with co-morbidities and the possibility of dying from those or the risk of having bariatric surgery and experiencing possible complications from doing so and possibly dying from them. I have had several surgeries, which one was

1 1/2 years ago when I had to have a total knee replacement. I could have died from complications from the surgery especially two major ones such as infection or blood clots. I decided to go ahead and have the surgery because I did not want to go on walking with a cane and having people to have to help me up and down all the time. I was getting to the point where I could no longer exercise, walking was becoming more and more difficult. I am so grateful that I had the surgery and no longer walk with a cane. Now I have been able to walk more and I really want to have the sleeve done because I don't want to go on being Morbidly obese. My weight was going up and up even after my knee surgery, and just recently in July I was up to 266 pounds. I am now moving closer to my surgery date of Dec.2 and I am currently doing my pre-op diet. I have really been upset due to the fact that today is thanksgiving day and I cannot eat all that good food that everyone else in my family will be eating, but it is more important for me to do what is required than to enjoy all that food. I am so glad that you posted this, because it will help me make it through this day much easier. It is so tempting to go off for only one day, but after reading your story, it also reminds me of ladiesassie's story and it will help to give me the strength to fight off the temptation of giving in to my head hunger as they call it, for all that good food. I will stick to my Protein shakes and bars with God's help and all the support and prayers from everyone here on this forum. Thank you and have a Happy Thanksgiving. I am sorry about your Mother-in-Law. Maybe she did make some mistakes, but she can't change that now, but she sure can do everything possible to help from this day forward. I hope for the best for her. She will be in my thoughts and prayers, as well as all her family. May God bless her with a speedy recovery. As Christians know, the Devil comes to destroy, steal and destroy, so we know that this is not all to blame on the doctors and patients. We can only pray for God to do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. I hope you understand what I am saying. I hope your Mother-in-law will become stronger and not give the Devil any more toehold in her life, only the power of the Lord. Also with your prayers and ours, I know that she is in good hands, because the Lord is on her side. Have a good day!!!!!!

[Bornagainbabe 4]

I think that is a good cautionary tale and I have watched programmes on TV where patients are viewing this surgery as a magic wand being cast over them in order to become a size zero. I think there are those who do see it as an easy option and have no understanding of the seriousness of major surgery or its possible complications, similarly to those seeking cosmetic surgery for minor imperfections.

I know that NHS patients in the UK, as chillihot rightly stated, undergo rigorous pre-op assessments but I expect that is a slightly different story for some private patients prepared to part with 10k. I didn't have any pre-op assessment at all when I had my band done. I was a private patient with a huge abdominal hernia who failed to lose weight in order to undergo surgery and my surgeon who is also a highly reputable bariatric surgeon carried out band surgery a month after us discussing it. However, band surgery is a lot less invasive than other bariatric surgeries and I am confident that he was confident that I was intelligent enough to follow all the dietary guidelines and be wholly sensible. I was and I stuck to my pre-op diet rigorously and followed all instructions after the op to the letter.

This was the same when I had my sleeve done. Again I had already proved to my surgeon by working with my band for two years and losing a lot of weight that I was a candidate for revision surgery. It is major surgery though and you just can't go into it thinking it anything but that. I had researched it, I was well-aware of the possible complications associated with it, as with any surgery, and I did exactly as my surgeon instructed. Follow-ups are not so good over here as I haven't seen anyone since August and am waiting for my 3 monthly appointment, but, I know where I can go if I do need any help.

I agree with you and dispute whether or not your mother-in-law was a viable candidate for this surgery. It does appear, on first reading your post, that she didn't have a full understanding of what she was getting into and the surgeon and dieticians involved should have been more aware of this. I know that many will not carry out surgery if the liver hasn't been shrunk enough and patients are being stitched up and sent back up to the ward!

I am very sorry for your mother-in-law. It must be very stressful for all of you and I hope that she makes a good recovery.

I also think that your post is a very valuable cautionary tale for those who think that this surgery, or any type of bariatric surgery, is an easy option. It does have to be taken extremely seriously and does require commitment from the patient as well.

Helenx

[deedee 5]

No offense taken. You are sharing a story of what can happen when one doesn't comply and I believe it is very important that people are able to read all experiences with the VSG, because even with perfect compliance, complications can and do happen.

On a side note, and I hope this doesn't offend you or your family, I hope and pray you guys are able to learn something from this experience as well. I always feel, not that I always do it, that if I have an area of strength (common sense) then it's my job to help loved ones who may lack in that area because I know that I have areas that I'm weak in (finances) and rely on others to fill in the gaps and point things out when needed. Maybe if something like this ever comes up again, providing support and doing research (not saying that you didn't) can help all of you because you then become part of the process and could possibly guide her through it so she is able to make the wisest decisions even if you don't totally agree. It was probably not easy for her going through this without family support.

Again, not meaning to offend, but I am a very introspective person and believe every experience in life can teach us something about ourselves and/or others. Maybe that's why I love teaching so much:-) I wish you and your family a wonderful Thanksgiving and upcoming Christmas. Thank you again for sharing your MIL's story.

[Chancie 65]

Daughterinlaw-

First I'd like to say I'm so sorry that your MIL -you and your family are going thru this. I know it has to be difficult.

I appreciate you writing your story, and I believe we need to hear it all- the good and the bad.

Prior to my surgury, I read alot of "negative" post- I got scared, but what it did was make me research more, weigh my options and make an informed decision.

As with any surgury- this should not be taken lightly- it IS SURGURY.

I think DeeDee said it well- you need to help her thru this. You need to become informed and educated and help her thru this difficult time. I'm sorry to hear that she didn't follow her doctors instructions, so maybe you can help her with this. It does sound like she needs alot of help and support.

Wishing you and your family only the best- especially on this Thanksgiving day!

[sweetie333 3]

I really wish her a speedy recovery and to return normal again. I understand complications can be really sad and devastating but now that it already happened to your dear mother in law, we have to support her and include her in our prayers and thoughts. I knew few people who had leak. they suffered a lot but eventually they are back to normal. May God give you the strength and patience to keep supporting her through her illness.

[Hychap2009 0]

Hello there, firstly let me say I for one do not take offence to your story, you're just keeping it real from what I can see. What a sad story, i feel sorry for your mother-in law - It seems to me that she was just looking for a quick fix. WLS certainly is not that. Her Sleeve is only a tool - she needed to work her tool, instead she disregarded the guidelines. Not taking in her liquid was her first major mistake - dehydration can be leathal. I think the other thing is, as far as I know in the USA and the UK it is mandatory to undergo a series of tests to evaluate your suitability both mentally and physically. She sounds like she was not really ready for this. You would expect to have follow up consultations and test after surgery. The fact that your mother in law has buyers remorse is not suprising really, sounds like she went through this whole thing with the wrong mindset; by herself without any support at all; no support group; no family support and no doctor follow up.

I don't think this is the norm, but if people are not aware or do not do the research and understand that this is a tool and that the changes start with the individual - change of life style, then they are surely asking for trouble. That said, lets hope she changes her mindset - and gets with the programme , and eventually benefits from her sleeve. Right now she needs lots of encouragement and support to get back on her feet.

Edited November 29, 2009 by VegasAngel

[Norma 10]

I feel for you and your mother in law. I am sorry that she has experienced this but doubt that she failed to ask questions. Some doctors and their coordinators are more interested in the dollar than in patient care. That happens in the US and in every other country. No one should make a decision such as weight loss surgery based on cost of surgery alone. It is important to research the surgeon and the facility and to not believe just what you are told by the surgeon or his staff. There is an excellent post on this board on how to research a surgeon. Everyone should do a thorough job at that. However, it is a terrible thing that unethical surgeons are allowed to stay in business.

Edited November 27, 2009 by Norma
spelling

[cajun 46]

I take no offense at your post, and am just so very sorry that all this has happened to your mother, and your family. What a tragedy. It is so good of you to post this, and I sincerely hope that it will help many other potential sleeve patients to follow ALL of the surgeon's preop AND post op instructions, and not ask for surgery unless they are ready and able to do comply. ALSO, I hope your post will somehow get to surgeons, so they are aware of the urgent need to assess their patients carefully preoperatively, and not operate if the patient is not a good candidate. I know that my surgeon, Dr Aceves, has turned a patient away who presented for surgery, without meeting all of his specifications. This kind of practice shows his expertise AND that he follows appropriate standards of surgical practice. He's not "in it for the money", or just to make patients happy...he wants to perform successful surgery. There are many surgeons who are highly skilled and ethical like this, and there are many who are not. It's up to the consumer to do their homework ahead of time and know how to choose a qualified surgeon.

Again, I am so sorry for what you are going through. Thank you for sharing.

[LAN2k 18]

Your story is very very sad but so important a story to tell. What's done is done and it is so important that your mother in law have unconditional love and support through this most difficult time. Please have someone by her side as much as possible and let her know you understand her reasons for wanting this surgery. She may have made some mistakes in following instructions pre and post op but it sounds to me like her pre-care was not as thorough as it should have been. What matters most now is that she feels supported and loved that she is assured that she will survive and eventually be OK! She needs family now more than ever. I pray that the hospital staff caring for her are truly compassionate round the clock. I pray for a speedy recovery and no further complications.

[janep 2]

This story points out the importance of using a surgeon who provides follow-up care. My program has lifetime follow-up along with monthly support group meetings all at no additional cost. The coordinator and nutritionist are there for life - I call them all the time and see them at regularly scheduled follow-ups - 1 wk, 1 month, 3 months, 6 months and yearly. In addition, my surgeon instructed me that if I ever have to go to the ED for anything, he wanted to be called so he could see me. My surgery was out-of-pocket like many others, but I stayed here close to home for this very reason. I know other doctor's don't want to "fix" what another doctor has done and it can get very sticky if you have complications. I'm so sorry for your mother-in-laws problems. I hope something can be learned, and I appreciate your post. I pray things will work out for her.

[carolyn24seven 11]

I am so sorry for your Motherinlaw. For your entire family for that matter.

I hope you all heal well and you can forgive your MIL for her transgressions.

I do not know why she would not take the surgery and directions seriously. All the postings on this board are filled with warnings to do it right.

Thanks for your post. It will serve as a wake up call. God Bless.

[DownInSocal 12]

While this is a good cautionary tale does it need to be in every area of the forum?

[cajun 46]

I take no offense at your post, and am just so very sorry that all this has happened to your mother, and your family. What a tragedy. It is so good of you to post this, and I sincerely hope that it will help many other potential sleeve patients to follow ALL of the surgeon's preop AND post op instructions, and not ask for surgery unless they are ready and able to do comply. ALSO, I hope your post will somehow get to surgeons, so they are aware of the urgent need to assess their patients carefully preoperatively, and not operate if the patient is not a good candidate. I know that my surgeon, Dr Aceves, has turned a patient away who presented for surgery, without meeting all of his specifications. This kind of practice shows his expertise AND that he follows appropriate standards of surgical practice. He's not "in it for the money", or just to make patients happy...he wants to perform successful surgery. There are many surgeons who are highly skilled and ethical like this, and there are many who are not. It's up to the consumer to do their homework ahead of time and know how to choose a qualified surgeon.

Again, I am so sorry for what you are going through. Thank you for sharing.

My previous post in response to this topic was not meant to imply, nor did it state, that any one particular surgeon is unethical, unskilled, or "in it for the money". It was a general statement, and that is all.