Parents

[LAN2k 18]

I know my mom loves me and wants whats best for me. My mom is my best friend and she will be my ride.

She is very supportive and also concerned because she has had complications from her surgeries (not bariatric surgeries) in the past. So her baby going under the knife voluntarily is a little nerve racking for her.

I am a talker and okay with people knowing what I am thinking. I prefer to have others understand and know what my decision is, than to feel like I am hiding it.

I told my mother early on since she was so concerned about how my weight was affecting my health as I am middle aged. She was mostly supportive but at moments humbly would ask me if I would consider just trying to steadfastly stick to a good diet and exercise instead of having this surgery. I felt her concern but insisted on the surgery. I waited until the week before to tell my dad and he didn't question my integrity feeling that I researched and all would be OK. Both my parents were with me on the morning of the surgery. For just a few moments that early morning whilst getting ready to leave for the hospital I had the thought to just not go ahead with it. I felt I might regret it and it would be irreversible. But I proceeded nevertheless and picked up both mom and dad on the way to the hospital. I woke from the surgery in a state of shock and had anxiety beyond belief. There was no peace within me and I was terrified at what I'd done. My parents could clearly see this and stood by my side every day and I was in the hospital 5 days. I suffered with severe anxiety for weeks so badly that I could hardly eat. My mother and father stood by my side. Many a time I would just physically cling to them and just say hold me and don't let go. I was so afraid of what I was feeling. I was no longer the happy confident me but a frightened child fearing for my life. I am still on medications for anxiety and depression and never once have either parent questioned why I had this surgery. They have been my pillars of strength and shown me nothing but unconditional love and concern. I am still regretting my decision because I am so not myself. I cry all the time, (grieving) and still worry that something may go drastically wrong. Two months out and food is still not going down with ease, nor is there any sense of normal satisfaction when I've eaten. I don't know when the discomfort ends or if I'll ever feel good about my decision to have had this surgery. But my parents never once questioned the integrity of my decision although I know they are terribly worried. Have compassion for what your parents feel and consider carefully what they have to say. Please don't take this the wrong way so many people who have had this surgery have been very happy right from the get go...I just suggest you regard your parents, for me they have been my best friends. I pray you make the right decision and if you go through with it you are very glad and things go smoothly for you.

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

Newme,

The statistics of people being to keep weight off with dieting are very low. You are smart to get this

done and have something to control your weight for the rest of your life.

[carolyn24seven 11]

Norma, have you heard of the SynviscOne injection for your knees? I had it done in September, before my VSG. I am bone on bone in both knees. that stuff worked amazing for me. I am moving so much better. I am off of pain meds, and only take a anti inflamitory as necessary. Once I get the weight off, I will consider getting my knees replaced. UGH!

[longhorn 11]

Thank you. I believe its not the actual surgery that is their fear. I am their youngest. My mom and I are both RNs by profession and she has great knowledge of procedure, I think their concern is the complications she suffered with her hemicolectomy might happen to me. I told her this is a lap procedure, but she is still anxious. They are not going to try and talk me out of it, but just really want me to research, and Pray to come up with the right answer.

Thank you

Well, that seems like your parents are being pretty reasonable. Anyone who does this without careful consideration, weighing the risks, and adding much thoughful and heartfelt prayer to their God is probably being quite unwise.

This cannot just be an emotional decision. Seems to me it must also be a considered and reasoned one that weighs the health risks of being obese with the health risks of having surgery. Having noted that, there is clearly a large emotional component as well.