Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Recommended Posts

Today, again, I made a poor food choice, stopped at Panda Express, bought the fried rice, sweet/sour pork..even though I only ate about 1/2 cup total..and just the sticky sweet coating and some rice, it made me throw up..and my hiatal hernia hurt so bad I cried..this is the second time this happened with Chinese food. My body revolts with disgust but I cannot seem to get a grip on it. I have been so non-compliant since 3 mos out..because I can basically eat what I want, but I have been making bad choices..white bread, butter, jam, you name it..even though I can only eat up to 1/2 cup, my body revolts with stomach cramps..the hernia pain in my back..WTF!! I knew this wouldn't be easy, but come on..I even feel anger that I cannot eat like I used to, because I cannot self-medicate with food anymore...without severe pain, nausea and vomiting. I have tried everything, read the books on emotional eating..tried exercise, shopping, even pain medication..but isn't working..what is wrong with me??? I am looking for a bariatric counselor and yes, my surgeon has a couselor, coach that I have put an SOS email out to..is there anyone else out there that understands what I am going through and who has made it through this and has some good advice? Luckily, I haven't gained any weight..YET..I have even lost 2 lbs this week....but, it can't be healthy for me to do this to myself for very long.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just wanted to drop in and say 'I'm so sorry this is happening to you" It must be very painful emotionally. . . it's good that you are seeking a counselor though, hopefully they will be able to help a bit . . . poor you, I can't understand what your going through nor can I say I know what your feeling, cause I don't, I just feel so bad for you and your helplessness. . .hopefully you'll get the help soon and be able to feel better . . .

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you for your kind words and caring response..I am really hoping that this gets better for me. Can't get any worse, right? My hiatal hernia still hurts, like phantom memory pain or something.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Today, again, I made a poor food choice, stopped at Panda Express, bought the fried rice, sweet/sour pork..even though I only ate about 1/2 cup total..and just the sticky sweet coating and some rice, it made me throw up..and my hiatal hernia hurt so bad I cried..this is the second time this happened with Chinese food. My body revolts with disgust but I cannot seem to get a grip on it. I have been so non-compliant since 3 mos out..because I can basically eat what I want, but I have been making bad choices..white bread, butter, jam, you name it..even though I can only eat up to 1/2 cup, my body revolts with stomach cramps..the hernia pain in my back..WTF!! I knew this wouldn't be easy, but come on..I even feel anger that I cannot eat like I used to, because I cannot self-medicate with food anymore...without severe pain, nausea and vomiting. I have tried everything, read the books on emotional eating..tried exercise, shopping, even pain medication..but isn't working..what is wrong with me??? I am looking for a bariatric counselor and yes, my surgeon has a couselor, coach that I have put an SOS email out to..is there anyone else out there that understands what I am going through and who has made it through this and has some good advice? Luckily, I haven't gained any weight..YET..I have even lost 2 lbs this week....but, it can't be healthy for me to do this to myself for very long.

I'm confussed....didn't you understand when you got the surgery that you will never be able to eat like you used to? That is the entire purpose of the surgery, to stop old eating habits.

It's like your rebelling against the surgery, by trying to eat things you

shouldn't. Your body is telling you it doesn't want it, and that makes you angry, because You want it. I feel for you. I'm sorry your in pain. I think a counsoler is the best thing for you. I hate to see you hurt yourself. Try to stay positive, don't let your frustration, drive you to think you are going to gain wait. Don't wish that on yourself. Hang in there, get your counseling going, and things will get better.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your not confused..I knew what I was getting into..and your right, it feels like rebellion/anger on my part regarding the surgery. I am praying. My hope is that God will see me through this and I will get better.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your not confused..I knew what I was getting into..and your right, it feels like rebellion/anger on my part regarding the surgery. I am praying. My hope is that God will see me through this and I will get better.

God WILL see you through, if you trust him to do it. Put your complete trust in him. Allow him to do his work. Pray, lots.

Stick to your diet, do what you know you have to do. Everything will be alright.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey Steph-

I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling. I'm only a week out, but I understand the anger. I'm not hungry, but I want to eat so badly- the way I used to, it's kind of scary. I never thought food controlled me as much as it obviously does. I'm glad that you're being proactive about it and seeking help- that's courageous, and I hope that you feel proud of yourself for it. I mentioned it on another thread, but having an accountability buddy has really helped me. Having someone that can break that thought cycle has prevented me from slipping. If you need someone, I'd be more than happy to help you with that! Just let me know.

And thank you for sharing that, because I have definitely been feeling the same way.

-Ruby

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you Ruby, for your support and kind words. You're right, it takes courage to admit this..and yes, I really could use a buddy if you're up to the task. I can be so stubborn at times. Maybe the throwing up and intense pain eating improperly will prevent the next time I contemplate a poor food choice. I have a phone appt with the nutritionist tomorrow for meal, shopping ideas, etc. But like she said, ultimately it is up to me. Gosh, it is it so horrible vomiting, today I was very compliant, only a taste, a little temptation and a little taste of something that I knew would cause intense pain/vomiting. I have to come to terms that my stomach only hold 2 to 4 oz at the most..and when I make bad choices, I will suffer the consequences, there is no way around it...it is really hard to eat around the sleeve, I have found out..the hard way. Even when I drank a milk shake, after 4 oz of it, I was incredibly nauseated by the richness, the sugar, it was repulsive to my body, but I guess after years of dieting and being put on a diet at the age of 8, there is a little rebel inside of me that pushes the envelope to the extreme. Perhaps, the sleeve is the best thing I could have ever done to save my life, my health. Happiness comes from within, and food cannot make us happy, in the long run, it is really not our friend unless it is just to maintain good health. Things feel better today and I thank all that have listened and not judged me too harsly. Believe me, I have already done that to myself..abusing food is self-abuse and really, don't we all deserve better than that?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Maybe you could go back to the basics for awhile. Have you heard of the 5 day pouch test? It's great to do to get rid of cravings. 2 days of liquids only, 2 days of mushies, and one day of solid Protein.

If you could get all the carbs out of your diet for a few days, you would not crave them.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you Ruby, for your support and kind words. You're right, it takes courage to admit this..and yes, I really could use a buddy if you're up to the task. I can be so stubborn at times. Maybe the throwing up and intense pain eating improperly will prevent the next time I contemplate a poor food choice. I have a phone appt with the nutritionist tomorrow for meal, shopping ideas, etc. But like she said, ultimately it is up to me. Gosh, it is it so horrible vomiting, today I was very compliant, only a taste, a little temptation and a little taste of something that I knew would cause intense pain/vomiting. I have to come to terms that my stomach only hold 2 to 4 oz at the most..and when I make bad choices, I will suffer the consequences, there is no way around it...it is really hard to eat around the sleeve, I have found out..the hard way. Even when I drank a milk shake, after 4 oz of it, I was incredibly nauseated by the richness, the sugar, it was repulsive to my body, but I guess after years of dieting and being put on a diet at the age of 8, there is a little rebel inside of me that pushes the envelope to the extreme. Perhaps, the sleeve is the best thing I could have ever done to save my life, my health. Happiness comes from within, and food cannot make us happy, in the long run, it is really not our friend unless it is just to maintain good health. Things feel better today and I thank all that have listened and not judged me too harsly. Believe me, I have already done that to myself..abusing food is self-abuse and really, don't we all deserve better than that?

You sound so much better today. So happy to see it. Your on the right track, and you'll be fine. We all believe in you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I really feel for you. I went into this surgery with my eyes open but I'm sure there will be trying times ahead where I make poor choices or question why I did this in the first place. I think you're doing the right thing by reaching out here and reaching out to a professional. I think it takes courage to admit that you're in a bad place and I have a lot of hope for you that you'll be able to turn it around because you were brave enough to post your issues.

Please keep us updated, good and bad. We're all here in this together.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We are all human and we make mistakes, this is what makes us human. . . if we were perfect, we would be divine and would certainly not be on this earth. . .

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Steph-

Is it the poor food choices, or eating more than you are able? eating too fast? too much and not getting th signal that you're full?

This surgury is eventually going to let us eat "normal"... but our "normal" will never be able to eat much of it.

However, what scares me is I see I am able to eat more than I could at 3 months out. I LIKED that feeling of just being able to eat a few bites... I KNOW me....... I KNOW I liked to bindge...... eat ALOT...... and if I can eat more now at 9 months.... how much MORE will I be able to eat at 18 months?? and so on?

We have to know what we want out of this.

We're going to make poor choices, we're human... and the thing with food is............ we HAVE to have it to survive. But we have to know what we want.

We can't say I'll never have another piece of cake again in my life...... as soon as I'm told I CAN'T... I WANT. It's being able to have the cake, a small piece, enjoy it, and put it away. Not eat the entire cake and be sick. Not feel guilty, it's what I had, and now I can move on.

I'm glad your getting counciling..... I still haven't found someone I feel comfortable with... but I want to find someone. I havn't had as sever issuse as you describe, but I know all too welll... it could be me tomorrow.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • cryoder22

      Day 1 of pre-op liquid diet (3 weeks) and I'm having a hard time already. I feel hungry and just want to eat. I got the protein and supplements recommend by my program and having a hard time getting 1 down. My doctor / nutritionist has me on the following:
      1 protein shake (bariatric advantage chocolate) with 8 oz of fat free milk 1 snack = 1 unjury protein shake (root beer) 1 protein shake (bariatric advantage orange cream) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein bar 1 protein shake (bariatric advantace orange cream or chocolate) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein soup (chicken) 3 servings of sugar free jello and popsicles throughout the day. 64 oz of water (I have flavor packets). Hot tea and coffee with splenda has been approved as well. Does anyone recommend anything for the next 3 weeks?
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        All I can tell you is that for me, it got easier after the first week. The hunger pains got less intense and I kind of got used to it and gave up torturing myself by thinking about food. But if you can, get anything tempting out of the house and avoid being around people who are eating. I sent my kids to my parents' house for two weeks so I wouldn't have to prepare meals I couldn't eat. After surgery, the hunger was totally gone.

    • buildabetteranna

      I have my final approval from my insurance, only thing holding up things is one last x-ray needed, which I have scheduled for the fourth of next month, which is my birthday.

      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BetterLeah

      Woohoo! I have 7 more days till surgery, So far I am already down a total of 20lbs since I started this journey. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Well done! I'm 9 days away from surgery! Keep us updated!

    • Ladiva04

      Hello,
      I had my surgery on the 25th of June of this year. Starting off at 117 kilos.😒
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Congrats on the surgery!

    • Sandra Austin Tx

      I’m 6 days post op as of today. I had the gastric bypass 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×