Help!! What is wrong with me??? Eating w/in days of post-op

[jmgsearch 0]

Everyone, I feel like I'm severely screwed up. I had my VSG 10/27 and when I checked out of the hospital and waited several hours at the airport, I ate (sucked on for it to dissolve) 2 inches of a Milky Way, ate 2 runts (candy) and ate 1 Gummy fish. Yes, crazy! It is now 11/1 and since I've returned home on 10/30 I've been doing the liquid diet but also eating tiny bites of this or that --- it's crazy. I just ate 10 salsa verde doritos and 8 mini oreos this afternoon! I am not throwing anything up nor do I feel nausea to help provide some sort of physical block for me to continue. What the hell? Am I the only one insanely crazy? I am so angry with myself. Regretting already having the surgery, it's apparent I have a major mental addiction and feel like I have to have this or that. I was desperately hoping to be like many of the other VSGr's where they had no inclination to eat anything unhealthy and/or even felt some nausea if they ate to much --- this would be tremendously helpful to me now during this recuperation period. Ahh, I am pathetic. :thumbup:

[LAN2k 18]

I don't think that you are pathetic...but I find it odd that you have been able to eat these foods.

[jmgsearch 0]

I'm a lost cause... I just had a few small bites of my daughters Pepperoni pizza (pizza hut) -- of course I'm chewing everything to almost a puree but still, this is crazy. Last night when I checked her Halloween bag, I believe I hate 3-4 mini candybars.... yes! Of course, I'm taking tiny bites but still. Ahhh, anyways I am starting first thing tomorrow (but boy, the first part of this sentence sounds like my typical broken record) --- But anyways, I'll start again tomorrow and try to work one day at a time and stick to the pure clear liquid diet just one day and then work on day 2 completing it. My frustration is I haven't stuck to the liquid diet in it's complete perfection AT ALL. I really want to do this successfully, my gosh I paid thousands of dollars out of my own pocket. I am severely screwed up. Maybe I just wasn't ready mentally for the surgery, I don't know. Anyways, tomorrow I will give my everything to start and complete 1 day of the clear liquid diet. Thanks for listening:sad0:

[LAN2k 18]

Please stick to the protocol. You have just had major surgery and even if you are tolerating these typical food substances, your new stomach may be affected adversely. This is more than just a diet to loose weight, you must adhere so that you physically heal. Later down the line it will be a safer bet to test and taste bits of the things you may still have a taste for but now I feel it may be a health hazard.

[carolyn24seven 11]

sorry you are having such a rough time. I have never heard on this board that you could eat like you are right after surgery. Try this, go for a sugar free popcycle before you allow yourself candy. see if that cures the manic craving. drink Water, and Protein water. get the food in first that you are supposed to eat. you will figure this out, keep trying.

[Ky.hen 5]

Please don't eat those foods. Your stomach is not healed and you could cause a leak. Try drinking the protien shakes. They will fill you up quickly. I really like the chocolate ones from Wal-Mart called Eas. I get the pre-made ones.

I hope things get better for you soon. Keep us posted.

[Tiffykins 673]

Clean the junk food out of the house. Leave and go for a walk when your family eats. Your staple line is still healing. food particles can get lodged in there, cause a severe infection, and possibly lead to a leak. Speaking from experience, a leak is not fun at all. If you think you can't live without food right now, get a leak, and postpone your healing even longer. I wasn't able to consume anything, liquid, ice chips, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING by mouth for 21 days due to having a leak after my revision from band to the sleeve.

**Edit to add** I developed the leak because of the damage the band did to my stomach. I was only 2 days post-op, and still was not able to eat or drink anything when the leak was found on my 3rd and final leak test a couple of hours before I was discharged.

I'm not going to sugarcoat it, and tell that everything will be okay. Surgeons have post-op diets for a reason. It isn't to punish you, or make you miserable. Your body, mainly your stomach has been through a traumatic experience, and you have to allow it proper healing time.

Find a nutritionist/dietician, and a counselor/therapist if you aren't already working with someone to work on the mental aspect of this huge lifestyle change.

I was not willing to "cheat" and risk another leak, or further complication because I couldn't keep crap food out of my mouth. It just isn't worth it especially considering you are a self-pay patient.

I agree with the sugar-free popsicles, Protein drinks, try the Special K Protein Water packets and SF Jello. Also, Edy's NO sugar-added fruit bars are wonderfully yummy, and help me stay off the sweets.

Edited November 2, 2009 by Tiffykins

[cajun 46]

I agree 100% with Tiffany. Your eating pattern could cause a leak, could cost you 20-60,000 bucks (or more) to treat in the ICU, or at worst, could cause you to die.

Get rid of whatever is tempting you and get some help right away to deal with the issues that are causing you to endanger yourself. This is serious. Just do what needs to be done to take care of yourself. I hope you are better soon.

[DownInSocal 12]

I am really worried about you and you need to stop eating food now. You are going to give yourself and leak. You can DIE from a leak. Do you understand that? I mean really understand it, not just yeah I know it is a risk. NO, YOU CAN DIE FROM A LEAK.

What you are doing is NOT ok. Who is your support at home? Are you married? Ask for help cleaning everything out of the house that tempts you, sweets seem to be the worst for you.

Next time make a change. Drink a shake when you want to eat. This surgery is a tool and you must use it as such. You have to do the other part.

I promise everyone on this board understands the want for food after surgery. However you won't find anyone saying you can continue to harm yourself. We want you to be safe and healthy.

[ReadytoMaintain 0]

I am really scared for you, too regarding a leak. I had a heated arguement the first day I was back home. I started to get spasms and quivers and was so scared that I might get a leak from that happening. The thing I am most afraid of is a leak and it costing me the rest of my stomach and my life.

I like Tiffykins answer as well. And you NEED to get professional help - spend money on that and NOT on a hospital stay for a leak.

Very concerned and scared for you.

ReadytoMaintain

[Norma 10]

Call your surgeon's office right now and tell them what you are doing. Have a friend or family member monitor your every move around fluids and food. Are you trying to kill yourself? Wake up! I refuse to go easy on you for this behavior--it is suicidal. Stop it now.

[LUCK 27]

I had to have food so I read up on what other doctors approved and although I am not suggesting this I ate saltines and cheese. Once chewed they literally dissolve in your mouth and are considered a soft solid. If you paid for your surgery out of pocket because your insurance didn't approve it and you have ANY complications from the surgery your health insurance probably wouldn't pay for it and a leak or whatever could cost you thousands upon thousands of dollars so that in itself should be enough to make you behave.. Your stomach is in NO way healed and you could do yourself major harm so stick to your plan, you can do it!

[thinoneday 445]

jmgsearch, your not screwed up or pathetic or a lost cause. . . my question is why did you take that first taste of milkyway and the other candies at the airport? Why not some Water or Soup? Just a question. Sometimes we think that the surgery will be the magic answer and we can eat whatever we want and poof we'll be thin and beautiful, but this surgery does require work, the doctor did his part by giving you the tool, now it's your turn to help yourself. . . please don't get me wrong, but I wonder if maybe there is an underlying problem? Have you tried group sessions? If it's an addiction, could you go to a food addicts group? I'm just throwing ideas out there. . . hope you don't take offense. . .

[thinoneday 445]

Everyone, I feel like I'm severely screwed up. I had my VSG 10/27 and when I checked out of the hospital and waited several hours at the airport, I ate (sucked on for it to dissolve) 2 inches of a Milky Way, ate 2 runts (candy) and ate 1 Gummy fish. Yes, crazy! It is now 11/1 and since I've returned home on 10/30 I've been doing the liquid diet but also eating tiny bites of this or that --- it's crazy. I just ate 10 salsa verde doritos and 8 mini oreos this afternoon! I am not throwing anything up nor do I feel nausea to help provide some sort of physical block for me to continue. What the hell? Am I the only one insanely crazy? I am so angry with myself. Regretting already having the surgery, it's apparent I have a major mental addiction and feel like I have to have this or that. I was desperately hoping to be like many of the other VSGr's where they had no inclination to eat anything unhealthy and/or even felt some nausea if they ate to much --- this would be tremendously helpful to me now during this recuperation period. Ahh, I am pathetic. :crying:

Here I go again, I'm sorry, but where you not happy and excited when you got your date for the surgery? Where you not happy that at last you'd lose the weight? Where you not proud when you got the surgery done? Didn't you think "Wow, finally it's my turn? Finally I can do something just for me!" What happened? Like my saying states "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit"

[RubyTuesday 0]

JMG- I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling with this. I'm only a couple days post op myself, and find myself wanting REAL food, right now! So, I have to take it a day at a time. And every time I think like that, I drink Water (I'm having trouble staying hydrated, so this is my way to keep up with it). I also remind myself that this is not permanant- the liquid phase. I'll be able to enjoy all that stuff very soon, in a healthy way. Another thing that has helped me is having accountability friends. They helped me through the pre-op phase and are helping me now. It's like having a sponsor. I just call them up when I feel like I'm going to crack, and they help me re-center. Do you have anyone like that? I'd be happy to be your buddy, if you want? I could use the extra support too.

Good luck. And remember, you don't have to wait until tomorrow to start over.

-Ruby

p.s. My surgeon uses the realize web site (they have products for sleeve) and I'm able to track everything I'm doing- Protein, Water, cals, fat, carbs.. EVERYTHING! And it's fun and keeps me busy. You can do it for free, and have limited access without your surgeon confirming he used a realize product.