Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

desperate and afraid



Recommended Posts

Hi everyone

I am Cat, a 31 yr old mom from Holland an have been thinking about WLS for 5 years now. My BMI is 50 and I want to be healthier and better. After a lot of research, I think the VSG is the way to go for me (possibly with a DS attached to it later if nessecary) I am still so very afraid to go through with it. What if I die, what if I get serious complications; my sons are only 3 and 1 year old. Did you have those fears?

I would love to know more about your stories. How is your life now? Do you have any problems-complications-intolerancies from it? Do you take lots of Vitamins? Is it bad to eat so little ort are you really satisfied? Do you never ever take something not-s-good for you? Do you ever go out to eat? How do you handle parties and such? Hoe much did you lose? What do you typically eat now?

When I was pregnant, something in my hormones changed and I was feeling very full all the time. I lost weight in both pregnancies feeling perfectly satisfied. Of course after childbirth, my endless hunger returned and so did the pounds (plus interest) I wish to think a WLS will have the same effect on me...

I wish I was not so afraid, I wish I could do it without surgery but on the other hand I tried that so much, I wish that I could LET GO of the idea that I can do it without. :bored0:

Greetings from Holland

Cat

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi everyone

WELCOME CAT to our "family." We are happy you have found us and hope we can help with some of your concerns!

I am Cat, a 31 yr old mom from Holland an have been thinking about WLS for 5 years now. My BMI is 50 and I want to be healthier and better. After a lot of research, I think the VSG is the way to go for me (possibly with a DS attached to it later if nessecary) I am still so very afraid to go through with it. What if I die, what if I get serious complications; my sons are only 3 and 1 year old. Did you have those fears?

I think everyone has some fears - and rightfully so - it is major surgery. However, I also believe that the complication rate is extremely low. You have a lot of "what ifs?" Nothing is certain in life, and there are no guarantees. WLS will help improve your odds of living a longer life for our boys.

I would love to know more about your stories. How is your life now? I had surgery on 6/12/09 and am down 50 lbs. My life is GREAT. Do you have any problems-complications-intolerancies from it? I had a hiatal hernia repaired at the same time as the surgery, and have a minor complication from that (spasming) however that has improved greatly in the past 2 months and should be gone soon according to my surgeon. Do you take lots of Vitamins?Right now I take a multi-Vitamin and B12. Once I get the results of my blood work back, it may be necessary to take additional vitamins/supplements, but that I won't mind. Is it bad to eat so little ort are you really satisfied? NO it's not bad at all to eat so little and YES you are really satisfied. Do you never ever take something not-s-good for you? Of course I eat things that are "not-so-good" for me ... but this is not a diet - this is a new lifestyle - you have a fully functioning stomach and can eat whatever you want. I didn't have this surgery to be on a DIET the rest of my life -- I had it so I didn't have to be on a diet. So if I want a treat, I have it -- I don't do it every day - however, I also don't deprive myself if I have a craving for something. Do you ever go out to eat? Yes, I often go out to eat lunch with girls from work - generally get a salad or something small and if I have leftovers, I bring it home. Also, I often times will split lunch or dinner. How do you handle parties and such? I go, I enjoy myself and I don't make eating the focal point. If there is a lot of food, then I take a small plate, and be selective of what I put on the plate. Hoe much did you lose? I have lost 50 lbs. as of today.What do you typically eat now?See the thread entitled 'WHATCHA' EATING?" to see the various things everyone is eating - you may be VERY surprised!

When I was pregnant, something in my hormones changed and I was feeling very full all the time. I lost weight in both pregnancies feeling perfectly satisfied. Of course after childbirth, my endless hunger returned and so did the pounds (plus interest) I wish to think a WLS will have the same effect on me...

I wish I was not so afraid, I wish I could do it without surgery but on the other hand I tried that so much, I wish that I could LET GO of the idea that I can do it without. :bored0:

Greetings from Holland

Cat

Everyone here is in the same boat - if we could have done it on our own and KEPT it off, we wouldn't need the surgery -- WLS is not the magic pill - it is a tool to help you lose your weight and keep it off - but you have to work with the tool in order for it to work. You will feel full and satisfied on the small amount you are able to eat.

Hopefully I have answered some of your questions and I am sure others here will share their stories as well.

Keep us posted on your decision and ask any questions you have - we will always answer them for you.

Again, welcome!

Edited by VegasAngel

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Cat,

There's not much I can add except to emphasise, and I will be quite blunt here, that with a BMI of 50 you are probably going to die early from an obesity-related illness anyway and you need to weigh up the pros and cons. It's very easy, with so many obese people around these days, to delude ourselves by thinking that we aren't that bad really, but society is getting bigger and bigger on the whole and it's not normal or healthy.

I had a BMI of 48 2 years ago and I was umming and aahing over it and trying this diet and that...in the end I had to take the bull by the horns and do something about it, and then I opted for the band thinking to myself that as it was a reversible operation and once I had lost the weight I could have it removed, I would be fine and never put on weight again! I was still deluding myself then that I didn't really have that big a problem and I was wrong.

It is major surgery and it is a scary prospect to everyone (you just wouldn't be normal if you didn't have some worries) but you know yourself that you won't lose weight by dieting. You wouldn't be here if you could and if you're like me and addicted to food you will be even bigger in a year's time.

I had a band 2 years ago, then revised to the sleeve in July this year and have lost a total of 115 lbs to date. I am very, very happy and much healthier as a result.

You will get lots of very good advice on this site from people whose surgery has been a great success and from those who unfortunately did suffer from some complications. What you need to do now is research and be honest with yourself in making what is not always an easy decision.

Good luck Cat

Helenxxx

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi everyone

I am Cat, a 31 yr old mom from Holland an have been thinking about WLS for 5 years now. My BMI is 50 and I want to be healthier and better. After a lot of research, I think the VSG is the way to go for me (possibly with a DS attached to it later if nessecary) I am still so very afraid to go through with it. What if I die, what if I get serious complications; my sons are only 3 and 1 year old. Did you have those fears?

I would love to know more about your stories. How is your life now? Do you have any problems-complications-intolerancies from it? Do you take lots of Vitamins? Is it bad to eat so little ort are you really satisfied? Do you never ever take something not-s-good for you? Do you ever go out to eat? How do you handle parties and such? Hoe much did you lose? What do you typically eat now?

When I was pregnant, something in my hormones changed and I was feeling very full all the time. I lost weight in both pregnancies feeling perfectly satisfied. Of course after childbirth, my endless hunger returned and so did the pounds (plus interest) I wish to think a WLS will have the same effect on me...

I wish I was not so afraid, I wish I could do it without surgery but on the other hand I tried that so much, I wish that I could LET GO of the idea that I can do it without. :bored0:

Greetings from Holland

Cat

Hi Cat, and welcome to the forum.

I had the common fears of the "what ifs", but the obese life was going to end up killing me. I started off with a BMI of 48, and today it's 32.7.

To answer your questions:

How is your life now? I'm 4.5 months out and have lost 84lbs. I'm 5'2", started out at 263, and a couple of days ago weighed in at 179. Life is pretty fabulous now. I still struggle with getting in my Protein, but for the most part, life is pretty normal.

Do you have any problems-complications-intolerancies from it? I don't particularly have complications or intolerances, but some days if I eat too fast, or don't chew something completely, I get nauseated.

Do you take lots of Vitamins? I take 2 adult gummy vitamins and Calcium citrate supplement daily. I also take 1 Prilosec 20mg capsule once daily for acid reflux. But will hopefully wean off of it in December, or at least decrease my dosing.

Is it bad to eat so little ort are you really satisfied?

Completely satisfied on a very small amount of food. I can eat 3-4oz of steak, or chicken. I ate some homemade macaroni-n-n cheese last night. I know we are supposed to steer clear of the evil "white carbs", but I wanted some, so I had about 1/4 of a cup. Luckily, I can eat Pasta with zero repercussions. But, I rarely allow myself to have carbs. I need all the space in my tummy for Protein. But, I refuse to deprive myself completely of things I want to eat.

Do you never ever take something not-s-good for you?

I've eaten a couple of Nestle crunch bar miniatures (halloween candy size) since surgery. This surgery is not designed to keep you from eating, it's specifically a tool to help reduce your portions and make better food choices. A "treat" occasionally is not completely detrimental unless you can't stop yourself. If you have bad eating habits, the sleeve will let you eat the bad foods without consequence, it's up to you to make the better choice.

Do you ever go out to eat? We go out to eat 1-2 weekly. My husband orders a meal, and then my 11 yr old son and I split an adult meal usually. I haven't had any issues with going out to eat in public.

How do you handle parties and such? My husband is in the Air Force, and I belong to a spouse's club. I attend social functions, luncheons, dinners, parties every month, and go bowling with lunch out with the girls every Wednesday. I'm extremely open about my surgery, and they all know that I have had it. I usually order Soup, or just an appetizer when I go out with the girls, or 2 of us will share an order of something. It's manageable, but I didn't go out to eat for a couple of months because I was slower on the progressing through the post-op diet.

Hoe much did you lose? So, far 84lbs.

What do you typically eat now? I eat whatever I want.

Breakfast - Greek yogurt with some dry Cereal mixed in for crunch, or Yoplait light yogurt

Lunch - is deli meat or some leftovers from the night before

dinner - is whatever I make for my husband and son.

A couple of nights ago we had grilled t-bone steaks, and salad. I eat about 3-4oz of steak then a few bites of salad with feta cheese, almonds and a variety of lettuces.

On Sunday, we went to IHOP. I had 2 eggs (over medium), 3 bites of ham, 1 french fry (from my husband's plate), and about 4 bites of hashbrowns.

Some days are better for me "food wise". Last night, I was craving mac-n-cheese, so I made some, and ate it. I know I should of had some deli meat, or some other high protein food, but it's what I wanted, and I am not going to deprive myself. For me, it's all about moderation, and Portion Control. The sleeve gives me the freedom to eat what I want, just in smaller, more controlled quantities.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi guys

Thanks for all your answers so far. It is too bad that there are not many long term post op sleevers around yet, I am so curious how you all will be doing in ten years time. But then again indeed: with my current BMI , in ten years time I wil, have diabetest for sure and more. (if I am still alive)

Staying fat is not an option anymore, I guess I am still somewhere in my mind thinking: you can do this without surgery! ( Although experience dictates otherwise... It is time to make up my mind about it

Thank you so much!!!

Cat

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi everyone

I am Cat, a 31 yr old mom from Holland an have been thinking about WLS for 5 years now. My BMI is 50 and I want to be healthier and better. After a lot of research, I think the VSG is the way to go for me (possibly with a DS attached to it later if nessecary) I am still so very afraid to go through with it. What if I die, what if I get serious complications; my sons are only 3 and 1 year old. Did you have those fears?

I would love to know more about your stories. How is your life now? Do you have any problems-complications-intolerancies from it? Do you take lots of Vitamins? Is it bad to eat so little ort are you really satisfied? Do you never ever take something not-s-good for you? Do you ever go out to eat? How do you handle parties and such? Hoe much did you lose? What do you typically eat now?

When I was pregnant, something in my hormones changed and I was feeling very full all the time. I lost weight in both pregnancies feeling perfectly satisfied. Of course after childbirth, my endless hunger returned and so did the pounds (plus interest) I wish to think a WLS will have the same effect on me...

I wish I was not so afraid, I wish I could do it without surgery but on the other hand I tried that so much, I wish that I could LET GO of the idea that I can do it without. :confused:

Greetings from Holland

Cat

My dear Cat. . .if fear could only be abolished life would be so grand. . it's a normal feeling to feel fear and hesitation in everyone of us. Did you not have a slight fear when you were getting married? Having your first child? We have so many hurdles to cross in our path of life. . we don't know what lays ahead of us. . . the future is very scary. But my dear friend, what is more scary, worrying of dying in surgery or really dying from your obesity? You know the risks of surgery, do you know the risks of obesity. . sweetie you could die tomorrow? I have not been sleeved yet, but will be in January. . . this surgery will be my 18th major surgery. . . I have not died (obviously) from the other 17. . . I have those fears each time I go though a surgery, but I put my faith in my surgeons, anesthesiologist, and God. . . if God says "your time is up" then it will be no matter where you are, in surgery or feeding your family. . . without walking our path, we will NEVER know what lies ahead. . . you are the one who must make the decision, make that one step, but remember you ARE the only one who can overcome your hesitance as well. . . good luck my friend and let us know what you decide.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I get what you're saying about wanting some evidence of the long-term effects of this surgery and I was the same after having a band and it failing but if it helps, people do have to have partial gastrectomies for all sorts of medical reasons and my husband's grandmother had one when was about 50 and didn't die until she was 87 from an unrelated illness. She always had to stick to small portions and was sick now and then - just like vsg patients, but otherwise she was fine, nor did she ever get fat!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • vsg.with.sharon

      Hey everyone!
      I’m new here! Looking for some friends! 🥰
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×