female only Super personal BUT I have to know. . .

[Tiffykins 673]

This has been weighing on my mind lately, and decided to break down, get out of bed, and post this question.

Most (if not all of y'all know) my husband has been deployed for the last 6.5 months. He is on his way home YAY YAY.

I have heard from a couple of girls who have had WLS that their entire body has "shrunk". Essentially, things downstairs got tighter/smaller especially after they got close to goal weight.

So, you all see where I am going with this. I've lost 75lbs while he's been gone, and during the leak repair surgery they placed a foley catheter. Upon removal, I didn't want to worry about incontinence, so I started doing kegel exercises. Coupled with the weight loss, kegel exercises, and lack of sex for the last 6.5 months, I am so freaked out that my parts have changed, and sex isn't going to be enjoyable for either of us. I've always been a fan of kegel exercises and have done them since having my son back in 1998, but now my mind is reeling with the "what ifs".

If you don't feel comfortable sharing your experience, feel free to send me a message on here.

This could be just nerves freaking me out, but I can't get it out of my mind.

[Jachut 487]

Well, nothing changed for me (and I've never heard of this being the case at all to be honest) - but I cant see a downside for you - either things stay the same, and you sound like you had no problems or they get a bit tighter. Which is hardly going to have a negative impact! I'd say its all good, whatever the case.

I mean how many of those stupid man jokes have you heard about "hey doc, could you just put a couple of extra stitches in there" crap they go on about after we're lying there exhuausted having just delivered the fruit of their loins? I think we can assume tight is good :-)

[Tiffykins 673]

My mom has lost 80lbs (in 2 years) with her band, and she experienced it. 2 friends of mine who had bypass both experienced it. So, those were my references.

Being tight is one thing, we had issues before he left, it took awhile for sex to be comfortable for us, and I have laid off the kegel since being with him (I should of thrown that out there). I had a c-section as well so nothing changed for me downstairs in relation to giving birth.

Like I said, maybe it's just nerves getting the best of me. But, I really don't want sex to be horrible after being apart for so long.

[Bornagainbabe 4]

It won't! After 6.5 months it will be mindblowing and the earth WILL move! Can't really offer any anatomical (?) advice I think you are just stressing with nerves now. Relax and look forward. I shan't throw in any jokes or innuendo as I know it's a serious concern for you.

Helesnxxxx

[LAN2k 18]

It also might help to talk to your husband about your concern Tiff. I'm thinking this may be helpful for both of you in the beginning.

[Tiffykins 673]

It also might help to talk to your husband about your concern Tiff. I'm thinking this may be helpful for both of you in the beginning.

I agree 100%. We will definitely talk. I'm just so nervous.

Thank you so very much.

[LAN2k 18]

I'm thinking that some of that nervous energy may be excitement since it has been a while and you have lost so much weight. Like you told me "deep breaths". Just take it one step at a time and I'd bet things will be just fine. Remember your not alone and, your so welcome.

[attitudefree 2]

Relax Tiff, deep breathe.... all will be fine!!

[*susan* 1,709]

Tiff, I honestly haven't noticed any changes, myself. I am sure if my husband had, he would have commented by now. What is important is that you and your husband have a great relationship. So, let him know your concerns and take things slow af first (if that is possible after six months). I think everything will be fine and you guys are going to have a wonderful "reunion".

[dange25 57]

it almost sounds like first date nerves!!! <grins> in a way it is!!! i bet you see him and everything just falls into place, no pun intended.

[Malaika 50]

Tiff -

Bearded hasn't mentioned anything about me feeling tighter; however he has mentioned that now that we are both thinner he can get closer and it feels different - and different in a GREAT way he says.

So, I would take everyone's advice, talk to John about it (better do that on the way home from the airport, because I have a feeling you aren't going to have a chance once he gets you into the house!).

I am sure once you reconsummate (sp?) your marriage, everything will be good and your fears will be laid to rest.

Hang in there g/f the wait is almost over- quit borrowing trouble and rejoice in the fact that your man is going to be back in your arms and in your bed in the next day or two!

HUGS to you.

[MacMadame 81]

Where they really tight or were they not very moist? Once we lose the weight, we have less estrogen in our system (because all the estrogen stored in our fat is gone along with the fat) and that can lead to being dry, which can lead to uncomfortable sex.

[Tiffykins 673]

I thought the same thing Mac, but they swear they were actually tighter. My mom decided to overshare a lot one day, and even though it made me shudder a bit, I was kind of shocked when I talked to 2 of my friends who had RNY a couple of years ago, and had the same issue.

I've already overshared a bunch, and could give more details, but it's embarassing to say the least.

[Malaika 50]

It's part of life, Tiff, nothing to be embarrassed about.

Is John due home today or tomorrow?

[JudyJudyJudy 7]

This has been weighing on my mind lately, and decided to break down, get out of bed, and post this question.

Most (if not all of y'all know) my husband has been deployed for the last 6.5 months. He is on his way home YAY YAY.

I have heard from a couple of girls who have had WLS that their entire body has "shrunk". Essentially, things downstairs got tighter/smaller especially after they got close to goal weight.

So, you all see where I am going with this. I've lost 75lbs while he's been gone, and during the leak repair surgery they placed a foley catheter. Upon removal, I didn't want to worry about incontinence, so I started doing kegel exercises. Coupled with the weight loss, kegel exercises, and lack of sex for the last 6.5 months, I am so freaked out that my parts have changed, and sex isn't going to be enjoyable for either of us. I've always been a fan of kegel exercises and have done them since having my son back in 1998, but now my mind is reeling with the "what ifs".

If you don't feel comfortable sharing your experience, feel free to send me a message on here.

This could be just nerves freaking me out, but I can't get it out of my mind.

HONEY...it's just nerves, your husband it going to LOVE everything about you, and won't be able to keep his hands off you. Enjoy rediscovering eachother, it will be like a honeymoon...Embrace the LOVE.....:001_wub: