Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Old Disgruntled Failure Forum



Recommended Posts

Leatha, I almost PB'd my Taco Bell when I read your post, and I don't even have a band. Sorry for running with your idea, but it had to be done.

For the record, I don't feel like a failure, and I'm certainly not disgruntled over the loss of my band or that I've gained a few pounds. I don't think there's even one person at LBT that lost their band while blaming the world for their unhappiness. Just because somebody shares information it doesn't mean that person is unhappy. I hated that contraption inside me while respecting its ability to control my caloric intake. It was a love/hate thing but I'm certainly not a failure.

What really disses my gruntle are the few people here that feel the need to participate in every single controversial thread, as if their assignment in life is to take hold of every new bandster that joins LBT and shove their rules, opinions and advise out before anyone else can get to them, and then argue when others have different opinions. That, to me, is a failure in progress.

I used to be like that to some degree but I never realized how absolutely insane I was acting until a few caring friends pointed it out. As soon as I realized I was acting like a huge horses ASS here at LBT, I stepped back and reflected on my actions. When I learned that people were leaving LBT because I was too abrasive, that hurt me worse than them so I made apologies where necessary and avoided LBT verbal wars and controversial topics. It's only when I get personal e-mails directing me to links that I feel the need to back up my LBT buddies.

I don't put any value into certain members so I ignore their daily cheerleading sessions (I'm a realist) but I DO put a lot of value in other folks at LBT, who are treated horribly for having opinions or stating facts about the band. Since offending so many people with my abrasive, offensive posts, I've become more of a lurker. There are times I feel like throwing my computer into the pool because a handful of wannabe know-it-alls infect most of the post with their twisted panties. If you think knowledge/truth about the band's shortcomings, risks, cons and potential rocky roads are offensive or negative then LBT isn't the place for you since there's way too much very real, very scary and very factual information here.

If you've learned anything from my posts, then you know the worst thing for anyone, fat or not, is to "feel like a failure." Do not EVER tell me that I will be labeled a FAILURE if or when I gain my weight back. I'll always be hot and sexy because I believe in myself. I don't have to make someone else feel bad to make myself feel good, so I guess that DOES make me better than some.

Telling newbies about the honeymoon phase or real weight loss statistics isn't calling anybody a failure. I'm tempted to do a search for the word "failure" and label the first person who introduced that term to LBT as a big fat failure for spreading such an ugly cancer.

BEING OBESE DOES NOT EQUATE TO BEING A FAILURE, and sharing information does not equate to negativity about the band.

If you "think" I'm talking about you, I probably am. Chill out and stop trying to save the banded world. If so many people are freaked out by your incessant posts, why not snap it shut and kick back and try "listening" for a change? There's my rant. Flock it, sock it, mock it, rock it - just don't block it.

Welcome to the Disgruntled Failure Forum.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I used to be like that to some degree but I never realized how absolutely insane I was acting until a few caring friends pointed it out. As soon as I realized I was acting like a huge horses ASS here at LBT, I stepped back and reflected on my actions. When I learned that people were leaving LBT because I was too abrasive, that hurt me worse than them so I made apologies where necessary and avoided LBT verbal wars and controversial topics. It's only when I get personal e-mails directing me to links that I feel the need to back up my LBT buddies.

I LOVE YOU!!!!!:kiss2:

and...

BEING OBESE DOES NOT EQUATE TO BEING A FAILURE, and sharing information does not equate to negativity about the band.

since I agree with this...does that make me an Old Disgruntled Failure? er, Slow Loser? So be it.

But I still have trouble with the Fat=Failure concept. I really do feel like a bit less of a failure as the pounds slooooowly come off. But that's another topic? :heh:

Thanks "DeCarla" and ((((hugs)))) :clap2:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for the support, Delarla. However, as thick-headed, old and abrasive as I may be I sure don't consider myself a failure. Personally, I think we're all winners! To have had this opportunity, win or lose, fail or succeed, I feel that God has blessed us with a gift that many many others will never get to experience. True, some of us have had issues and many will to come. I think that's the risk we take to overcome this terrible thing called obesity and this makes us all brothers and sisters in a common struggle.

Honestly, my life is hard enough. Not only do I have this issue of weight to battle, but I have several health issues that could mean life or death, if I don't manage the weight. Am I perfect? No way. Have I turned my life around? You betcha. Will I continue or will I 'give up' and be a 'failure'? I can't say what tomorrow will bring, but TODAY, I am a winner because I still have my humility and I still have my self-respect and I haven't given up at all.

I'm just a grateful bandster who's had the pleasure of meeting and helping many people along the way. I've had my share of wonderful, thankful messages and I sincerely hope I haven't done anyone any harm in any of my responses.

BTW, regarding the old, disgruntled thing.. I reckon it's time to face up to it. Even this week I got an email inviting me to be in a country music video as 'an older good lookin bar fly' type.. :omg: :pound: , so there must be some truth to it.. lol..

God bless us all, God bless our bands and grant us the health that we all are here to achieve.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Kathy, THANK YOU for always keeping me in check. I love you, too!

At least I have an excuse for acting insane, considering I'm the product of a mother who just spent another stretch in the rubber room. I know there's a huge part of my brain that reacts the way she does and flies off the handle without thinking, which is why I thank the LBT Gods for the lovely Edit feature. The difference between me and the Momster is that I realize when I've acted like an ass so I retreat, reflect and revise.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm sorra, Leatha, but the world "failure" is not allowed in the Failure Forum. We are not failures. A failure is someone who flops out without trying, who blames others, points fingers and refuses to feel hope. Leatha and Kathy, you are both true ladies, angels. Both of you teach me grace and dignity. Sure, sometimes I forget what I've learned but you're always here to lead me back on the right path. I never had a mom. I learned from the School of Hard Knocks - I never had anyone to teach me these things, so thank you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

*sigh* boy, I needed this thread.

FAILURE! That horrible "F" word.

Since the fall my banded journey has been quite different. Now that Im having so many problems, the ONLY reason Im scared to get my big butt to the doctor is due to this "F" word....

I think I need to PM Sue or Leatha or someone else thats gonna give me the hard ball of what Im dealing with here.

BEING OBESE DOES NOT EQUATE TO BEING A FAILURE

...you promise???

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I knew my 3rd angel would appear if I closed my eyes and wished hard enough. Paula, you single-handedly brought me back to LBT as a better woman so spread your wings and fly with me! We are not failures. We are not fat, we are fluffy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You're just in a tough period, Paula. Unfortunately, the closer you get to goal, things just slow down and become more about working harder, dammit. :)

(((PAULA))) We're in this together, girly.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

OMG! :) I just read through some of the locked threads and there is more than I realized going on. I don't want to "pick sides" or "join forces" or do anything to encourage board wars. I tend to just like everyone. I'd like to keep it that way, but WOW. I want the delete button back, big time. It was super useful. Forget editing...deleting is da bomb.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

WHAT? Did they remove the delete feature?

Kathy, try to follow this and die laughing! After I wrote my rant, I gave it 10 minutes then read it back to myself. I didn't like the accusatory, insulting, hypocritical tone, so I edited out everything but the "failure" paragraphs. But YOU beat me to the damn Quote feature, so when you responded by quoting me, it jacked up my entire thread, and nothing made sense! So I had to re-edit and add back in my original garbage.

I like being insane. It makes me colorful.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lisa...

We haven't "talked" in so long...are we still friends? Did you come to my "rescue?" (I don't get to the zoo often and I was having too much fun watching "pack" behavior to remember to send for back-up!!! LOL.) How cool that you're here!?! Do be careful, though...in the past twenty-four hours, I have added one plus one and I got one...and then I got someone's name wrong...so probably nothing I say can be trusted.

Hey, in all seriousness, on another site, I asked about the difference between "confrontation" and "anger." Most agreed that there can be very happy people who simply take a stand for certain things and won't back down...and there can be people who are truly seething with anger but try to paint a "rainbows and pony" scene to hide the truth and absolutely FREAK when anything threatens that charade.

As we all know, the cudmudgeon-y folks seldom grab automatic weapons and blow up groups of people...they ALREADY get their little bitches and moans out during the course of a day, as irritating as it is to the ranibows and pony people. But it's those "artificially happy-happy, nice-guy" people that no one ever expected to go ballistic who make the evening news. So who is REALLY "angry?"

Anyway, nice seeing another...what is this group?..."Disgruntled Old Failure!"

BTW, as of this morning, I'm down a hundred pounds from my pre-banding weight...and down 80 pounds (the +/- 60 I'd lost and regained with the band and an additional 20) since my DS surgery. My belly is still too big...but my boobs and bottom fit quite well into SIZES...you know, the ones with no letters...the sizes that don't look like lattices...XXXXXXXXXX

Hi to Chris...unless I got that name wrong, too, then "Hi" to whoever you see who is cute and looks good on a bike. I was in LV in January...but I was only eight weeks post-op and my esophagus still hadn't healed up...I never left the freakin' Bellagio the whole time. So I didn't try to contact anyone I knew there.

See ya...

Sue

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

And I cracked up the first time I saw "TriPolar" Too funny!

Yes, you can no longer delete a post or your entire thread. Bummer. I was dead against it. I lost that battle. Oh well. Leave your thread. Not everyone has to agree with you, everyone has to respect the fact that you have an opinion. The cheerleading doesn't bother me at all. I don't like the back and forth arguing, and the "board war" stuff. It's just uncomfortable so I "take what I want and leave the rest". I'm much better at that than I used to be.

Paula...what "so many problems" are you having? Is it the reflux?

I'm not tight enough. I should get a fill. I have gotten really skilled at avoiding PBs and I don't always choose the best food. I don't have (I never had) the stamina many newer bandsters have, and Big Paul's thread spoke to me in many areas. However, I'm living my life, and while I can't get under 180, I know that I will. Yep, maybe I could do it faster. But I don't underestimate the power of my band and the restriction I DO have. I'll not beat myself up. I hate being tight. Sue me! :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Honestly Sue, I can't tell if I like you or hate you, which means I just love you! (Laughing as I type.) I hate that the FACTS you share are true and that the band isn't all I hoped it would be, and I laugh at anyone who has the balls to go up against you. Do they not know the wrath that is the Geeze? But all kidding aside, let's say for shits and giggles that you are the angry black bitch ready to piss ice Water on everyone's parade - is that reason to slay you and smack you around? Hell no! My mother is that mean and miserable yet I can only have compassion for her. You don't insult someone for being unhappy.

The more I know about the band, the more leary I am about the number of people who are getting banded before knowing ALL the facts. My gosh, I just responded to a post where a girl didn't think she could PB unless she had a fill, then drank liquid to try to wash a PB down! If it weren't for LBT, I'd probably be dead of a horrible infection considering I didn't know what the hell to do when my infected tube was sticking out of my body.

When I was banded and infected, I didn't want anyone holding my hand telling me about the rosey future, I wanted the truth! Was I going to die? Did I have staff infection (or is it staph infection, or a staff infection?) I was a Lost Infected Port Girl, banded in Mexico with nothing but LBT to rely on for guidance. If it weren't for Penni making me go to Dr. Billy, I'd have ended up butchered in a Las Vegas Emergency Room with some trauma guy removing my band that specializes in sewing legs back on.

I don't care WHO you are, but if you come here to post hard core facts, then DeLarla's got your back.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Originally Posted by DeLarla

I used to be like that to some degree but I never realized how absolutely insane I was acting until a few caring friends pointed it out. As soon as I realized I was acting like a huge horses ASS here at LBT, I stepped back and reflected on my actions. When I learned that people were leaving LBT because I was too abrasive, that hurt me worse than them so I made apologies where necessary and avoided LBT verbal wars and controversial topics. It's only when I get personal e-mails directing me to links that I feel the need to back up my LBT buddies.

Too funny. Good stuff.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×