Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

How Are You Going To Meet Your Maker ?



Recommended Posts

This is warped !!!

http://www.thedeathpsychic.com/

Here's mine:

After you rudely push your way through a crowded line at the zoo, a large, angry man picks you up and throws you over a guardrail into the bear pit. Being only minutes before feeding time, you are quickly devoured by the hungry beasts.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A disgruntled cook at the local bar and grill poisons your food. You suffer in agony for days until the poison eventually kills you.

Hmmmmmmm... death by food! What was I thinking eating that crap at a bar and grill? LOL.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

While drunk with friends, you fall down a flight of stairs and break your neck. Thinking you've simply passed out, your friends ignore your lifeless body for hours.

Hahaha.....such great friends....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is warped !!!

http://www.thedeathpsychic.com/

Here's mine:

After you rudely push your way through a crowded line at the zoo, a large, angry man picks you up and throws you over a guardrail into the bear pit. Being only minutes before feeding time, you are quickly devoured by the hungry beasts.

LOL OMG this is funny! BTW, isn't being quickly devoured better than being slowly savored? lolololol funny funny funny.

Mine said: While walking near a construction site, an open box of nails is dropped from several hundred feet above your head. You are impaled by hundreds of rapidly-falling nails, turning you into a human sieve.

Great, I'm gonna get nailed!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

While sunbathing in your yard, a commercial airliner accidentally unloads its waste tank. You are impaled by several spears of frozen urine which fall from 30,000 feet above you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

told.jpg You are blown to smithereens when your fun loving co-worker fills a whoopee cushion with nitroglycerin.

Hm.. I always said that co-worker was a pain in the ass.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

While in a batting cage, you're struck in the chest by a baseball. You enter cardiac arrest and die within minutes.

Guess I won't be going into any batting cages in the future!

Mr. Yoda's:

While scarfing down dinner, a large chunk of your meal becomes enlodged in your throat, and you choke to death.

I keep telling him to slow down!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A deranged cook at a Chinese restaurant attacks you violently with a meat cleaver after you complain about your meal.

No more Chinese food for moi!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm scared. Mine is evil it says: my son who is sick of being overdisciplined attacks me in my sleep with a knife and stabs me repeatedly. Charming. My son has ADHD and I feel like I am always all over him. This rings a little too true! Gee thanks for sharing NJChick -- can I sleep at your house tonight?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

While crossing what is typically a very quiet street, you're struck by a speeding motorist and are killed instantly

This sucks! The first few were kind of funny, the last couple aren't. Good thing I learned to look both ways.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A tormented street mime beats you to death with an "unimaginary" cane.

That would be an interesting way to go.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A disgruntled sandwich shop employee puts a razor blade onto your sandwich. The razor deeply cuts your mouth and tongue numerous times, and you nervously choke to death on your own blood

Well, I knew there was a reason why I dont like sandwiches.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A large icicle falls from above your head, cracking your skull. While unconscious, you bleed to death slowly. I'm glad i live in TEXAS. LOL

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Here is mine:

An amputee overhears you as you snicker and make jokes about him. Enraged, he beats you to death with his prosthetic leg.

whats funny is my mom has an amputed leg.... I better not make jokes about it huh. lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

After suffering with a severe headache for days, the aneurysm in your brain bursts, killing you instantly.

Yikes.. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • cryoder22

      Day 1 of pre-op liquid diet (3 weeks) and I'm having a hard time already. I feel hungry and just want to eat. I got the protein and supplements recommend by my program and having a hard time getting 1 down. My doctor / nutritionist has me on the following:
      1 protein shake (bariatric advantage chocolate) with 8 oz of fat free milk 1 snack = 1 unjury protein shake (root beer) 1 protein shake (bariatric advantage orange cream) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein bar 1 protein shake (bariatric advantace orange cream or chocolate) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein soup (chicken) 3 servings of sugar free jello and popsicles throughout the day. 64 oz of water (I have flavor packets). Hot tea and coffee with splenda has been approved as well. Does anyone recommend anything for the next 3 weeks?
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        All I can tell you is that for me, it got easier after the first week. The hunger pains got less intense and I kind of got used to it and gave up torturing myself by thinking about food. But if you can, get anything tempting out of the house and avoid being around people who are eating. I sent my kids to my parents' house for two weeks so I wouldn't have to prepare meals I couldn't eat. After surgery, the hunger was totally gone.

    • buildabetteranna

      I have my final approval from my insurance, only thing holding up things is one last x-ray needed, which I have scheduled for the fourth of next month, which is my birthday.

      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BetterLeah

      Woohoo! I have 7 more days till surgery, So far I am already down a total of 20lbs since I started this journey. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Well done! I'm 9 days away from surgery! Keep us updated!

    • Ladiva04

      Hello,
      I had my surgery on the 25th of June of this year. Starting off at 117 kilos.😒
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Congrats on the surgery!

    • Sandra Austin Tx

      I’m 6 days post op as of today. I had the gastric bypass 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×