To Band, or Not to Band?

[Guest Marsali]

That has been the question for the last couple months...at least in the eyes of my family.

I have been working hard to convince my DH and my mother that I really need and want this procedure and that it is the right decision for me. I wanted them both on board because I love them and because I really need their support. Also, my mother is my financer for the surgery (I am self-pay), so I felt it was important that she had a good understanding of what I was proposing.

Of course, their concerns did not stop me from scheduling my initial surgery date with my surgeon of choice. I am now slated for an April 29th surgery with Dr. Ortiz in TJ, Mexico. However, that date does not work for my sister, who will be accompanying me, so I am hoping to change my date to May 14th. I hate to put it off, but it is important to me that my sister, and RN, is able to be there with me.

Sooooo...after a long and painful afternoon of debating with my husband, and a gutwrenching and emotional conversation with my mother over dinner, I finally got their go ahead! This means so much to me--I really want them on board for this as it isn't just my life that will be influenced by this procedure, but theirs as well.

I am so excited! I cannot wait til my surgery date. I cannot wait for my life to change.

I'm happy to have found you all!

TTFN,

[Guest Marsali]

BTW, please excuse my avatar. I randomly picked it when I registered, and I have no idea how to change it.

Just call me G.I. Marsali

[Guest Marsali]

I thought I'd post the final email I sent to my mother and DH. The email was entitled "The Last Weapon in my (Metaphorical) Arsenal"

You can't imagine how much I relate to this list. Just to give you an idea, I have put a little asterix next to each reason that relates to me.

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100 Reasons to Lose 100 Pounds

* To feel good about ourselves.

* To have GREAT sex!

* So we won't think people are laughing or talking about us.

* To buy clothes in a normal store and actually get clothes with some style to them that fit correctly.

* To have more energy!

* To be able to tie your shoes/paint toenails.(Comfortably)

* To be able to sit on a floor and get up gracefully.

* To wear a bathing suit.(and not frighten small children)

To cross your legs or sit Indian style.(Luckily I can still do this )

* To fit into an airline/theatre/bus/whatever seat without spilling over and without having to see "that look" from the person who has to sit beside you. (This was definitely the case on my last trip to SD. Boy was I glad when I could sit by Skinny K'Sondra)

*So our ankles won't swell. (Think London, Mom)

* To fit into a booth at any restaurant. (One of the reasons I resist eating out, honey!)

* To not need an extension to a seat belt on an airplane and to have the tray table not balance on our bellies. (If I gain another ounce I will need an extension. On my last flight, I had to recline the seat all the way back just to get the tray table near horizontal.)

To not worry about being decapitated in our cars with our seat belts on if we should be in an accident. (I have maybe another 3 inches before my seatbelt in my car is too small.)

* To not turn beet red after moderate exertion.

* To be able to pick something up off the floor. (Without grunting??)

*Panty Hose that fit! (I would love to wear mini-skirts again. I have great legs

* To go to an amusement park and ride the rides. (I wouldn't even dare at this point.)

* To be able to sit in any chair without worry of breakage. (You have no idea how mortifying this is. Jeff, remember when I broke that chair at that shower for Eric and Becky??_)

To not have to apologize when caught in a narrow aisle and have someone need to get by.

* To go dancing, sky diving, bungee jumping.... (I would love to be able to dance un-self-consciously. Mom, remember how I resisted in Belize???)

To be able to go horseback riding or ride a bike.

* To not worry about rashes and sweating.

To not have to listen to "caring" people ask why you don't diet or worse still... "gee youhave such a pretty face".

To not worry about spilling food, sauces or gravy down the front of your blouse/dress/shirt when eating.

* To not have to think up some excuse for not doing something because you know your weight will impede you. (A part of me was really relieved that we weren't able to go to Lamanai in Belize because I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to make it to the ruins.)

* To not have your belly hit the steering wheel and to be able to fit comfortably in the driver's seat.

* To have a bra fit comfortably and to be able to buy underwear at Victoria's Secret rather than at "Tubby the Underwear Guy".

To not have to worry about the weight limit of step stools, ladders, motorcycle, exercise equipment, etc.

To not get stuck in a turn style.

To not wake up feeling achy in the back..or to have ache free legs and feet.

So the bathroom scale won't creak and groan when you step on it.

To be able to leave the tablecloth on the table at a restaurant instead of dragging it with you when you get up.

* So you won't look the other way when you see yourself in a monitor where they have security cameras.

* To never be embarrassed about your size.

To not count tying shoes as daily exercise.

To not have to wait for the handicap stall when there are plenty of other stalls available.

* To not be more out of shape than seniors.

To not break toilet seat when leaning to one side.

* To be able to put on wedding rings again. (I could barely get my wedding ring off after this last trip to SD. I never wear it to the manicurist anymore because I need to use soap and Water to get it on and off. This makes me cry...)

To try to make a double chin and fail!

Buy clothing bargains to fit the next year ... and they do!

Not to have to worry about plastic zippers or having your pants bust open.

Normal waistbands rather than elastic!

To wear knee socks correctly instead of worn like slouches!

* To look good in a tee shirt!

To try on slacks or jeans and have the pant leg actually fit overleg!

To be able to get close to sink and not come away with a wet belly!

To get out of a stuffed chair GRACEFULLY and not look down to see ifthe chair has come up with you!

To not worry if the hairdresser's smock will fit!

* To not be self-conscious about eating in front of others!

* To not be afraid to ask which hairstyle suits your face.

* To not have people checking you out after looking in your grocery cart. (This happens to fat people.)

To not feel (and look) like a sausage in stirrup pants.

To have your friends NOT be embarrassed to be seen with you.

To get promotions/hired or close that sale.

Pants that stay up because your waist is smaller than your butt!

No more boobs! (this is for the guys!)

* Wearing shorts or tank tops without fear of arrest or grossing out others!

To not have the fear of being rejected.

To successfully flirt!

To not worry about how to get in and out of the back seat in a twodoor car!

* One size fits all and it fits you!

* To have a lap.

To not have the car you are ride in slant in your direction.

* To be able to use toilet paper as it was meant to be used and not to have to invent ways to "get the job done".

To not have to watch TV news reports on fat people in hopes that you haven't been caught on camera!

* To be able to get between cars in a parking lot without wiping the dust off with your belly and your butt.

* No more heat rashes and chafing in the upper thighs.

* So that the cloth in the thigh area doesn't wear away long before the rest of the slacks do!

* To meet a friend online and not be horrified to have to send a picture of yourself.

* To not take fat references and fat jokes personally.

* To know you can go anywhere because wherever you sit you CAN be comfortable and look at ease.

To shop at the mall and not have your back ache from lugging your huge butt and stomach around!

* To be able to stand still, carrying nothing and still look poised. ( I don't know if you guys have noticed or not, but whenever I am sitting, if it is possible, I always have a pillow/blanket/coat/sweater over my stomach.)

To be able to cross your arms across your chest without them resting on your stomach!

To have your feet get smaller.

* Using your mouth to taste and chew food rather than as just a route to get the food from your lips to your stomach.

* * Blood pressure returns to normal.

* * To avoid other health complications from being overweight.

To be able to borrow a co-worker's jacket for an important meeting.

To meet someone for the first time and their eyes don't pop out of their head with amazement...because they never knew you're fat!

To see your reflection in a mirror or store window without turning away!

* To wear a watch with a regular length watch band.

* * To look in the mirror when getting your hair cut without thinking you have the biggest face in the world.

* To not mind getting your picture taken.

To not avoid going to the doctor because you have to get "weighed" in.

* To wake up each morning feeling energized and ready to go.

* To not even worry about squeezing into small spaces.

To not have to enter an elevator and check the weight limit.

* To look in your closet and have problems deciding which stylish outfit to work since you have so many that look good and fit well.

To not have to lie perfectly still in bed at night for fear of breaking the bed!

To buy tie shoes instead of slip ons!

To be able to walk any distance without looking for a bench to sit on.

* To look forward to shopping and just trying on clothes!

To be able to drive by any fast food place without salivating!

*To be able to shop at the same store for food instead of having to remember where you shopped last night for the junk food so you can avoid that store for a few days!

To not feel lower than low when an innocent child remarks about your size!

* * To not constantly be thinking of where your next morsel of food is coming from.

And the 100th reason to lose 100 pounds.....

* * * * * * I'M WORTH IT* * * * * * *

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[Vera 7]

*To live longer.

*To be able to chase my kids.

*To be healthy!

YOUR SO WORTH IT:D

Thanks MOM

I want to go to Belize...

[angelatn2001 0]

Congratulations Marsali!!!

I am so happy that your family is going to support you through this! Be sure to keep us posted!

Good luck,

Angela

[Alexandra 55]

Wow, Marsali, what a list. It really brings home the point we all know so intimately well--being morbidly obese REALLY changes your life.

Thanks for posting this. It's great inspiration and I'm sure your family is very proud of you. Welcome!!