Me .vs. Me

rebndave · May 20, 2006

I'll be getting banded on June 6th, so my journey begins soon, but I assume that many have some of the same problems I do, so I'll ask if anyone has an answer.

My question though, is...

Why is it when I fall off the wagon, I can be so miserable, and stuff myself, and then afterwards feel so bad, yet know that I did this to myself... then do it again later?

My mother isn't really on board with this, and we were having a discussion :-) about the banding, and I couldn't explain why I do this to myself, other than saying that I have issues, and I don't know why I'm so messed up.

My wife is very supportive however and really wanted me to get the band.

I was going to try one more diet, when I realized.... why?? I have been fat 90% of my adult life... I don't have a good track record on being thin. Why would this time be different? Quite honestly, I am a bit arrogant and had too much pride, so reaching for the band as some help was something that didn't come easily for me. But frankly, when I weighed the pros and cons, there were too many pros and if I could get to 180, would I care how I got there?...Uh no.

FYI (See, the pride is here again)

I know that eating less and exercising more is the solution.

This being said, I've failed numerous diets. I've even failed to get motivated many times, even though I'm MO.

Oh, another thing.. I belive in personal responsibility, and know that where I am is totally my fault... I certainly have earned my weight.... yet here I sit.

I know that the band isn't the magic pill, but rather a tool, so I'm pretty excited.

Forgive this rambling post.., but to make a long story longer, has anyone had a shrink explain to them their "me .vs. me" dilemma. I mean... I had a happy childhood. The only real pain I remember was being fat.

Kat817 · May 20, 2006

I have a friend who was saying much the same thing to me not long ago, she said she was going along just feeling fine, and then saw herself in a mirror in the mall, and was apalled, when she realized the woman in the ill fitting clothes with the hanging belly was her! Since then she says she has had this battle with herself, knowing she was only making the matter worse by overeating, then just overeating again because she felt so bad about screwing up again. She said when she was truly oblivious to how she looked to others, she was happy, and didn't feel guilty. But now feels she is her own worst enemy. I could see it happening. I always thought she had an amazing "sense of self" because she didn't seem to let her weight intrude in her life, she wore what she wanted to wear, and didn't let her size dictate to her. Now however, since her wake up call in the mall, she has become super critical of herself...and I see in her, how I am with myself. One minute I get just totally pissed off at myself, that I did something so stupid and let myself go like this. Then other times, I look back at my oww life story, and am quite proud of what I have overcome, and the weight, while I want it gone, is not a big deal in the overall scheme of things. Then again, maybe I am overthinking all this!!

Kat

PhotoNut · May 20, 2006

Wow Dave. If you get the answer to that question you'll probably be a rich man. Everyone I know that's had problems with their weight ask themselves this very same question. Prior to my being banded, my husband and I asked ourselves on a daily basis - WHY do we continue to do this to ourselves??? Then, we'd go do it again because.... ?

The only thing I can tell you is that since being banded, I don't do that anymore. I can't. The band prevents me from eating myself sick. And, because I don't do it anymore, my husband has been able to change his eating habits as well. Consequently, he has lost about 66 pounds. It has been a very positive change in our lives. And, we got a two-for-one special! hehe

Anyway, welcome to LBT. I hope you find some of the answers you are looking for along the way. You'll find a great bunch of bandsters here who are the most sincere and open people I've ever met. Ask lots of questions oh and speaking of questions, here are a couple of must read threads for you and your wife to read. Enjoy!

Questions to ask your Dr BEFORE getting banded:

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=15595

LBT success stories:

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=16050

Cold hard facts about being banded:

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=18533

Before and after pics of LBT members:

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=4642

Jachut · May 20, 2006

The hardest thing about deciding to be banded is that you really are admitting that you just cant do it without. It doesnt really matter if anyone else understands that or not, although I went blue in the face trying to tell my mother that insisting that Weight Watchers works when she's been back 547 times in the last 15 years is a bit illogical.

Melissa Lea · May 22, 2006

I'll be banded on June 9th and I know exactly how you feel. I know that most everyone on LBT have lost 100 lbs or more during our life time. I've been overweight 100% of my adult life and about 90% of my childhood.

Before I commited to having the lap band I went through all the should of, could of, and what if I's in the book. I think it's a normal progression to admit defeat in your weight/obesity struggle. I even broke down in tears discussing my obesity struggle with the surgeon. I know that the band is not a miracle fix but rather a great tool for success.

I have my dearest of all best friends of 26+ years that also needs the lap band. As I've been going through my pre-bandster journey to surgery date, she has been doing all the the diets and the "let me try this one last time" for me. I sense her lurking in the background wondering if it will be a good tool for her. I feel that after I have my procedure and she see's my results, she will too commit to a healther life (with the procedure she feels best suites her).

Best wishes

Melissa Lea