I hope someone reads this

[cmt49829 1]

I can't believe there are no posts in this section. I am struggling so badly and sure could use a mentor or something. please reply if you can help me get back on track.

[Norma 10]

I read it-what is your problem? I have not been sleeved yet but will help if I can. I was a little surprized that this section had never been used too.

[cmt49829 1]

I just cant seem to stay on track. I want to, I want it more than anything. I did great in the begining, but now I get discouraged so easlity and havent lost any weight in months. I seem to have NO will power at all. Im just disgusted with ME and my lack of self control.

[Norma 10]

I hear you. What worked in the beginning; are you still doing those things? Just breathe and take it each day at a time.

[Malaika 50]

I hear you. What worked in the beginning; are you still doing those things? Just breathe and take it each day at a time.

I'm not experienced with the sleeve; however, I know from what I have read from those that are that the most important thing is to write down everything you eat and to track the number of calories and carbs. Are you still doing that?

I am sure one of the more experienced sleevers on here will have a wealthy of knowledge and suggestions for you as they are no longer newbies -- I am only 3 weeks out. Sorry I can't be of more help to you.

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

this is a fairly new board that just opened in May . We don't have many people who have lived with the sleeve for very long. Most of us just got our sleeves within the last few months.

What helped me with the band was to write every reason I wanted to lose weight on a 3x5 index card. One thought per card. Like "I want to wear cute clothes" Keep sets of these cards everywhere, like in your purse, in your car, one of the fridge etc. You might also try the book The Beck Diet Solution. It's not a diet. It's a way to learn to cope with bad eating habits and binge eating. You can get it at Amazon.< /strong>

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

I just cant seem to stay on track. I want to, I want it more than anything. I did great in the begining, but now I get discouraged so easlity and havent lost any weight in months. I seem to have NO will power at all. Im just disgusted with ME and my lack of self control.

I'm going to cheat here and copy something I have on my OH profile. ;o) Now, I don't know if this will apply to you but if it does, great. If not, let us know and we'll approach it from a different angle.

Please note, this was originally a post I wrote to a person who specifically asked for a butt kicking. ;o) She was banded but the same info applies.

I'm going to get hammered for writing this but that has never stopped me before. ;o) You know these people that eat pizza and tacos a few days after surgery and they come to the boards asking if they just messed up? You know those people that pat them on the head, tell them it's okay, and to "try" to do better tomorrow? Yeah, I'm not one of those people. I tell them to knock it off, they are risking their band and why? For a lousy taco?? Are they serious? I don't suggest they TRY to do better the next day, I tell them to DO better right now.

I think we often times don't give ourselves enough credit. We think we are weak willed and powerless over the world. That simply isn't true. We have been living a life of fat for many years. You tell me the weak willed and powerless can do that, I won't believe you. Being fat in today's society is no easy task. It's really damned hard. Yet we survive it and if we can survive that, we can survive passing up a donut. Let's face it, it is much easier to pass up a donut than it is to have to buy two airlines seats because our butts are too big for one seat. It's much easier to pass up a single donut than it is to face ourselves in the mirror of Lane Giant after realizing we are yet... a bigger size than the last time we were there. We face humiliation and embarrassment every single day just due to our size. I think sometimes we tend to get used to it and forget that humiliation and embarrassment are NOT normal and a part of life. We also pretend it does not hurt as much as it does.

I'm not trying to be a skank about this but you know, WLS is our last shot at WL. This is a big deal, we have choices and too many times we are all making the wrong ones. I don't eat a lot of junk because I don't need it. Neither do you. I disagree with those that say ANYTHING in moderation is okay. The reason I disagree is because ALL of us did not get fat because we can do moderation well. With a band or any WLS our caloric intake is cut drastically and we need every calorie for food we actually need and use. The only thing cake, Pasta, or crap food will do for your body is make it more plump.

This is a lifestyle change and a lifestyle change does not mean eating the same load of crap but just less of it, that means overhauling your diet and eating food that your body needs and does something positive for it. What "value" does chocolate cake have for your body?

So does this mean that you can never have a piece of birthday cake again? Of course not. It means that eating junk on a regular basis serves no value. We don't know what moderation is so we have to go searching for it. Moderation does not mean limiting ourselves to crap food just one time daily or one time weekly, it means more along the lines of on birthdays, special occasions. When we "plan" on eating junk weekly, what does that make our thinking? That means we are *still* planning our lives around food and poor choices. Thin people don't set out to plan on when they will eat a load of crap, they don't even think about it until the birthday party or social meeting is there staring them in the face. Yet we fatties actually plan a date and time to eat bad food. See the difference in thinking between a fat person and a normal size person?

The lifestyle change is not planning on WHEN we will have loads of crap food, lifestyle change means actually going out there and living what we claim we want. Life as a normal size person.

If you can face the humiliation of being obese in society, can you honestly sit there and tell yourself that passing up junk food is harder than being the fat girl walking into a room where being MO is socially unacceptable? I mean, I think there comes a time when we have to put things in their proper perspective and this is one of those times. Next time you want junk food get real and get honest with yourself. Get a photo of that food item and a photo of a person that is the size you want to be. Which do you want more, do you want the cake more than you want to be thin and healthy? Be verrry honest with yourself. If you prefer the cake over thin then just go for it and have the darn band removed. But I'll bet you'd rather have thin over a piece of cake when you really get honest with yourself. It's all about perspective and self awareness of what you want out of this life. We have a choice, and it IS a choice. We can be fat or we can be thin. With a band thin IS within grasp.

The thing about us fat folks is that traditional diet and exercise is too hard, we just can't do it. We cannot lose and maintain at a normal size weight. Call it a lack of self control, call it anything you want. I'll cop to it, I'll be one to stand right up there and admit that I can't do it. But with a band it is still hard but it is the kind of hard WE can do, OUR population. Losing weight with a band is the kind of hard we can do but without a band, nope... we can't do it.

Sometimes, maybe often times, maybe 20x a day when we are justifying more grazing behaviors and opening the frig to see what unnecessary food is in there, there comes a time when you just have to tell yourself no. We tell our children "no" daily. No, you can't play with razor blades in the middle of a busy street. No, you can't eat rat poison. No, you can't fail to look both ways when crossing a street. No, you can't do drugs. No, you can't go out with that drug abuser who just got out of juvvy. Sometimes we have to tell ourselves no as well.

If you are like me, not sure you are, but if you are like me I can't stop at one Frito, or one bite of this or that. For me it is all or none. If I eat white carbs I can't quit. I lose self control. If I stay away from them completely I have no problem. The more I eat the more I crave. I am a person that wanted bread so bad about 3 months after banding I actually broke into the bread crumbs I use for cooking and ate the whole can. Then I started in on dry stuffing mix. It wasn't even something that tasted good (pretty rank, actually) but I couldn't stand the carb cravings anymore. That was my moment when I realized when and how I lose self control. So I avoid those situations.

You can come over to my house right now and look through my house. You won't find any flour, Pasta, bread, Fritos, or other foods that are my triggers. There are no bread crumbs, stuffing mix, cake mixes, cookie mixes... none of it. I don't even keep it in the house. There is not a person that has ever once been in my home that even needs those foods. My husband doesn't need them and he doesn't get them if he is here. Why would your family NEED cakes, Cookies, etc? We are not punishing our family members by denying them food habits WE have, it really is okay if you don't load your cupboards full of crap your kids do not need. I think that is another mindset we have to change. I've seen people post on these very boards that they can't pass up the Cookies in the cupboard but they can't punish their children by not having cookies in the house. Since when it is a punishment to decline to feed a growing child cookies to the point you can't have a day without them in your home?

Exercise... you know, we have physical and emotional reasons for overeating. Those issues we have to overcome and find ways to deal with them. But exercise? Nahhh, we have no excuse. That is just plain lazy behavior. You don't like exercise? Neither do I. But it's like cleaning the toilet. Who DOES like to do it? We do it because we have to. It's just a responsibility. We are all great at justifying eating too much and not exercising but the reality comes down to sheer lazy behaviors. If you can't run then power walk. If you can't power walk then walk. If you can't walk then do chair exercises. We have the energy to get up and run to the frig 20 times a day yet we can't find the time nor the motivation to do the SAME walking outside and away from food. How does that work? ;o)

There are people who LOVE exercise, zog bless their little hearts! It's like a transfer addiction. They go from eating to exercising. They love it. Personally, I think they are sick and twisted human beings. I exercise but I hate it. Never have enjoyed it, not even a little. The person who invented weight resistance cannot possibly be anything but a lover of S&M. They should be shot. But you know what? It really really works. The motivation for me was not busting my butt on a treadmill when I would have much preferred doing my nails. The motivation was that the more I exercised the more weight I lost. THAT was my addiction, losing weight and getting thin. The more you lose the more motivation you get.

What if you do this, just for ONE week... one week only. Cut out ALL white carbs. Yep, you'll be climbing the walls, you'll be dealing with head hunger full force. Every single TV commercial for food will be calling your name. You'll cus and swear at me and everyone else that is around you in real time or the boards. Start exercising. Even ten minutes of brisk walking. Work up a sweat, bust your butt. Just 10 minutes. That's nothing, that is the same as a couple of TV commercials. That is about the same amount of time to read a single thread on OH. Just take 10 simple minutes and go out for a hard walk. Then you are done exercising for the day. Honestly, 10 minutes is NOTHING. We have 144 10 minute blocks in a day, it really is nothing.

Then tomorrow do 11 minutes. And yes, time it from the time your walk is a brisk one, not when you start thinking it's time to go outside for your walk. When your pace is up to brisk then start timing. Daily add a single minute to it. Push yourself to do better each day, just a single minute added.

So for a week eat what you want, don't count calories, don't count fat grams. Don't worry about calories in the least. Eat what you want but do limit WHITE carbs to 20 a day. I'm just talking for a week. Do the 10 minutes of exercise while adding one minute daily. See what that does for you. You want 20 chicken breasts? Eat them. You want zucchini, yellow squash, any other carbs except fruit? Eat them. Lots of them. Don't even count carbs from veggies. Just count white carbs and limit those drastically to 20gms daily. The idea here is not to get you into ketosis, the idea is to get you eating the right carbs. Have unlimited VEGGIE carbs. You'll poop like a champ too. ;o)

I'll bet you that you lose weight.

Then as the motivation kicks in and the stomach hunger dies down you will be able to cut those 20 chicken breasts down to 10. Then 5, then 1 daily. Understand what is head hunger and what is true stomach hunger. Just focus on white carbs and minimal exercise. I'll bet you it works.

If you can live the life and frustration as a fat person, you can do this. Being fat is MUCH harder than better food choices. Again, it's all perspective.

There, that's yer' butt kicking. ;o) Just remember, you CAN do this, you have survived much much harder as a fat person and you have survived a life that is no walk in the park. If you can survive fat life you can easily survive the above plan for the next week.

And BTW, this means start the whole plan tomorrow, not on Sunday at the beginning of the week. If you have already eaten a load of carbs today you will be hungry for the rest of the day. It's a blood sugar thing. So start tomorrow and keep remembering, you can do this.

Good luck to you!

[carolnphx 16]

Absolutely awesome, WASa. I don't go to OH so I would never of seen this. I am going to print it off so I can refer to it when I need a push. I am so glad you re-posted this. This is such a good motivator. I know I need the "kick in the butt" every once in awhile and I'm sure others do too. Thank you. I'm going to forward to dtr. :thumbup:

CMT, I hope reflecting on what WASa has said will give you the motivation you need to get back in the swing of WL. Good luck to you and come back here for support and a gentle push. carol

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

Absolutely awesome, WASa. I don't go to OH so I would never of seen this. I am going to print it off so I can refer to it when I need a push. I am so glad you re-posted this. This is such a good motivator. I know I need the "kick in the butt" every once in awhile and I'm sure others do too. Thank you. I'm going to forward to dtr. :thumbup:

CMT, I hope reflecting on what WASa has said will give you the motivation you need to get back in the swing of WL. Good luck to you and come back here for support and a gentle push. carol

Thanks, Carol. I need to tweak it for sleeves and put it on my blog.

[Norma 10]

WASa,

A round of applause for saying what every one of us needs to hear from time to time. In fact, it is comical that my personal trainer from 4 years ago who got me down 127 lbs of which 70 is back, called me today on why he has not seen me at the gym for the past month. (Could be that I am playing head games with myself and purposely hitting the snooze 4 times till it turns itself off every morning.) LOL Anyway, I had just read your post and so told Tom, "I'll see you at 5am". His response was "Are you just blowing smoke up my ass or are you really coming?". I told him that you had written out the motivator speech for him to use next time and that I will give him a copy of it tomorrow.

So, thank you, I have been blowing smoke at myself and your heart to ass kick landed square on my Fat Posterior! See you in the gym!

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

WASa,

A round of applause for saying what every one of us needs to hear from time to time. In fact, it is comical that my personal trainer from 4 years ago who got me down 127 lbs of which 70 is back, called me today on why he has not seen me at the gym for the past month. (Could be that I am playing head games with myself and purposely hitting the snooze 4 times till it turns itself off every morning.) LOL Anyway, I had just read your post and so told Tom, "I'll see you at 5am". His response was "Are you just blowing smoke up my ass or are you really coming?". I told him that you had written out the motivator speech for him to use next time and that I will give him a copy of it tomorrow.

So, thank you, I have been blowing smoke at myself and your heart to ass kick landed square on my Fat Posterior! See you in the gym!

When I was losing a friend of mine gave me a version of a "kick your butt" speech and I realized that I could take it coming from her, she battled pounds too. I couldn't have accepted those words from a naturally thin person but I could from a fellow fattie.

I received an email from a young lady that was actually eating a donut as she was reading this. She threw the donut away while reading the "donut" part (amazing ... coincidences in life) and really started putting forth effort starting that minute. I've always wondered how she is doing now.

Just remember, white carbs got us all fat. Not eating them goes a long way to getting thin. I'm not talking all carbs, just the white ones.

[Malaika 50]

Awesome WASa... DF said to me last night that I needed to help this person and I said I don't have the experience ... I a newbie ... I said WASa will post something to help her ... and you didn't disappoint. Thing is, it helped me to read all that - even though I know it - it helps to see it in black and white -- I, too, am going to post it and put it on my fridge where it will provide me with motivation when needed.

It's great - I hope it helps CMT too.

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

Awesome WASa... DF said to me last night that I needed to help this person and I said I don't have the experience ... I a newbie ... I said WASa will post something to help her ... and you didn't disappoint. Thing is, it helped me to read all that - even though I know it - it helps to see it in black and white -- I, too, am going to post it and put it on my fridge where it will provide me with motivation when needed.

It's great - I hope it helps CMT too.

I just tweaked it for sleeve folks by getting rid of all the banding references for my blog but I can't get the stupid blog to cooperate. Time for another email to Alex so he can fix my messes. :thumbup:/

I heart Alex. ;o)

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

WASa wrote some very powerful words. I am sure that it will help a lot of people who feel like they need to read something that showed them how they got where we all are today-needing

weight loss surgery.

That book I mentioned also is very helpful and gives specific exercises on how to change your thinking and stay motivated.

It's called the Beck Solution-Train your brain to think like a thin person, by Janet Beck.

[Elisabethsew 50]

I believe in the "all or none" foods and don't think it's a sign of failure to realize I just can't resist certain foods. I can pass cake, candy, Cookies, chips, etc., all up but if you put hot bread and butter in front of me, I'm in heaven. LOL.

I'm a food addict and always will be. My trigger is bread. I know it and I have to keep away from it so I don't have any of it in my house. This is what works for me. When I go out to eat, I am picky. If the bread/roll is not hot, I don't eat it. If it is, I take a small piece and nurse it. Since I'm with people, I have to share and that keeps me from eating MORE. When the food arrives, I ask if anyone wants more. If they say no (and they do 99% of the time), I ask the waiter to take it away so we have more room on the table (because I know I will grab more).

I get my carbs in the form of fruit, veggies, and sometimes Pasta. Thankfully, I'm not a pasta lover and prefer fish and poultry to other things.