Bandista 7,466 Posted October 4, 2013 65% of the message content in a communication exchange is made up of nonverbal language (i.e., body language, intonation) therefore, one must understand this if they are going to participate in communicating through social media sites via the interwebs . This is why people take things the wrong way and think people are being rude when in all actuality they are just trying to be helpful. I'm a big fan of texting and I've had issues with people taking things the wrong way. It happens to everyone!! Except my mother who can't figure out how to text and doesn't even know how to get on the internet (how are we related??). Thanks for pointing out there will always be gaffes in a communication medium like this. Humor is particularly difficult to get across sometimes. I can't remember now who coined the lunchmeat comment a few weeks ago but when I read a post like this one I think to myself: Code Lunchmeat. 5 Sharpie, DELETE THIS ACCOUNT!, Debbie3sons and 2 others reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sharpie 3,306 Posted October 4, 2013 I have been on this site since I decided to get banded.. so quite awhile.. I have found very few people who were rude.. I think some of the veteran bandsters answer honestly.. If you need to be babied or coddled perhaps you can find a different site.. I have not found any that were as helpful as this one.. Missy is honest and forthright and always advises people to call their Dr's.. she usually states that she is not a Dr. but as far as successful she is by far one of the most successful.. CG is also very successful and she is honest as well...I also think some of the younger generation have been atta boy'd too much and think the world centers around them. As I told my Grandchildren, the real world will be quite different.. Nobody is giving out gold stars because you finish your homework.... 10 Debbie3sons, DELETE THIS ACCOUNT!, kll724 and 7 others reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sunnysidega 177 Posted October 4, 2013 I would suggest you reconsider your decision as this is the best forum to ask and receive honest opinions from bandsters who are walking the walk. It will be your loss. This is what we would call a lose/lose proposition. We can learn from you sometime in the future when you are an experienced Bandster. So I urge you to stay and make this a win/win for all of us? tmf I am new to this forum and not really acquainted with the folks here. But from what I have seen, there are many successful people that you can gain valuable advice from. I went to your profile and read back and read through your posts. From a purely objective perspective I didn't read anything but honest responses. Support can take many forms. I would never be offended if someone suggested taking up a problem I was having with my doctor. From what I read you haven't been banded long and believe me, you will have your ups and downs. That's the way life is. You are now in possession of a valuable tool to assist you in your journey. Plus, you found this website which is another asset. 10 ☠carolinagirl☠, 2muchfun, Debbie3sons and 7 others reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Debbie3sons 1,936 Posted October 4, 2013 Just to let you know some of us have had second thoughts , but we got though it and if there are any complications we call our docs. to make sure , also about your insisions why would you push on them , you just had major surgery and are recovering they put air in your stomache and if it is sore it is cause they pulled on muscles that you haven't used in a long time so if you want to leave , leave , but I have found very informative information on this site from a lot of bandsters good and bad and maybe you should talk with a Psych for your mental problems and habitual over eating I know some of us have maybe that will help , like I said if you want to leave , that is your choice , as I make mine, wich was to be healthier, physically and mentally. 4 DELETE THIS ACCOUNT!, kll724, ☠carolinagirl☠ and 1 other reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NaNa 878 Posted October 4, 2013 Im leaving this forum, I have had a few people who have just made me feel like I dont belong or whatever and im not dealing with it. I thought this was a place where people support you and where I could ask all the questions in the world buy I guess not because people are making me feel like a bother so im leaving and if anyone can tell me how to delete my account or even just stop the notifications being sent to my email that would be fantastic Mis73 is right, many people here want sunshine and roses blown up their butt, and NOT THE TRUTH. If the truth "stings" this is probably not the place you should post, no one here can diagnose your symtoms, we can ONLY TELL YOU ABOUT EXPERIENCES WE'VE HAD, or seen others have , or studies we've read. There was a post recently about someone reporting "night time coughing and reflux" I told the poster THE TRUTH based on what I've experienced and what I've seen so many others lose their bands over. And guess what? I was told I was "scaring the newbies"...for crying out loud.... I am over 8 years post op, I don't have to post here either, or share my wisdom, but as I've seen the band has a VERY HIGH complication rate, most of it preventable, I feel sometimes "SOME" newbies would "LIKE" to hear the TRUTH, about the lap band, I am sure...SOME may not want to hear it from ME, but many do. Many surgeons don't know any signs of danger with the band, they don't live with it, WE DO, so we can only advise you of dangers of what we've seen, but our ADVICE SHOULD ALWAYS be take with a grain of salt, since we are NOT MEDICAL professionals....anything that's related to your port, port pain, incisions, frequent vomiting SHOULD ALWAYS REQUIRE PROMPT ATTENTION FROM YOUR SURGEON...YOU CAN'T GO CHEAP by querying this board on your lap band health. Also, many people don't even want to hear the TRUTH from their surgeon either, they'd rather ask a ridiculous question here about breaking fill rules with their bands -- and see if it'll fly...LOL. Now back to my vacation at the beach. 12 jfc193, DELETE THIS ACCOUNT!, Lady VS and 9 others reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rmalikone 108 Posted October 4, 2013 Sometimes people reading a response & see something in the statement that was not really there! Maybe as they read they hear it a certain way in their head. I have been guilty of this myself; in the early days of my forum use. You can not attach sentiment, and know for sure what the intent is. 7 jfc193, Debbie3sons, ☠carolinagirl☠ and 4 others reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Allieg8tor 85 Posted October 4, 2013 I've found this Forum to be honest & helpful. But there is a new generation coming along that is being raised on praise motivation. (My grandchildren, for an example.) They get a good grade in school or etc. stars, etc.. . little ones color a picture it goes up on the refrigerator with praise, etc. Probably that works too. . . . But when they grow up I just hope their boss or supervisor is up to the task. I say to use a little bit of both. . . . but what does an old Grandma know? :wub: I'm totally part of that generation, I'm not going to lie! xP I've been rewarded for good behavior and spoiled my whole life, and so was my sister, but we're very different people. I think you've got a good point, there should be a little bit of both! I have friends who didn't get rewarded for good behavior very often, but were always punished for bad behavior, and I feel like both my childhood and my friends' childhoods were a little unbalanced on that scale. Plus, my sister is intolerably selfish and annoying, and she will not grow up even a little bit, you know? And, I haven't completely lost that. I have goals I set for fun things to do at the end of something really challenging! I'm planning a trip to the Galleria Mall, American Girl store with some friends sometime in November, after I've healed from surgery and everything. I think my need to have something as an end goal every once in a while kind of came from growing up like that, you know? 2 kll724 and 2muchfun reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
5.0junkie 770 Posted October 4, 2013 Hold up, hold up, hold up. You are all complaining that Micki should let loose and get over feeling how they feel. Everyone is entitled to their own feelings. Now I say to all of you and to your rant post, not one of you has even answered this persons questions from what I see. Please, please, please, someone tell Micki how to delete their account so they can get the hell off this board and stop ruining it for everybody else!!!! Peace out Micki. Thanks for stopping by:) (Sarcastic smirk while typing) 3 ☠carolinagirl☠, Debbie3sons and kll724 reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
5.0junkie 770 Posted October 4, 2013 Oh and by the way, best of luck to you on your journey. Seriously, best of luck 3 kll724, Debbie3sons and ☠carolinagirl☠ reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DELETE THIS ACCOUNT! 12,703 Posted October 4, 2013 Edited...because I'm way too tired to brain lol. Carry on! 1 JOANNE M HOLL reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mrsto 2,925 Posted October 5, 2013 65% of the message content in a communication exchange is made up of nonverbal language (i.e., body language, intonation) therefore, one must understand this if they are going to participate in communicating through social media sites via the interwebs . This is why people take things the wrong way and think people are being rude when in all actuality they are just trying to be helpful. I'm a big fan of texting and I've had issues with people taking things the wrong way. It happens to everyone!! Except my mother who can't figure out how to text and doesn't even know how to get on the internet (how are we related??). I've had this happen as well. Sometimes, the tenor of the message gets lost in the fonts 1 Debbie3sons reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
620to? 23 Posted October 5, 2013 forums are the same the world over regardless of the particular interest. funny to watch the established members rally around their own. would have been way too hard to say." hey sorry for the misunderstanding, stick around for awhile". 1 SolracSpree reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jamilyne 102668 1,207 Posted October 6, 2013 Any time I've ever asked a question on this forum, I was told the truth and for that I appreciate because I'm new at this. I didn't know what really to expect, but y'all helped me and still do help me. I think there's a time for "oh I'm so sorry" and a time where you might say "look I think you are wrong" or "you need to call the dr". I appreciate the honesty and the feedback. I'm no expert that's why I don't comment unless I know what I'm talking about. But some of you - have had the lapband for extended periods of time and have lost massive amounts of weight. Why wouldn't I listen to you? Isn't that why we are all here? To lose weight, be successful and to live a better life? That's why I'm here! Sent from my iPhone using LapBandTalk 4 Debbie3sons, JOANNE M HOLL, jfc193 and 1 other reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jamilyne 102668 1,207 Posted October 6, 2013 Any time I've ever asked a question on this forum, I was told the truth and for that I appreciate because I'm new at this. I didn't know what really to expect, but y'all helped me and still do help me. I think there's a time for "oh I'm so sorry" and a time where you might say "look I think you are wrong" or "you need to call the dr". I appreciate the honesty and the feedback. I'm no expert that's why I don't comment unless I know what I'm talking about. But some of you - have had the lapband for extended periods of time and have lost massive amounts of weight. Why wouldn't I listen to you? Isn't that why we are all here? To lose weight, be successful and to live a better life? That's why I'm here! Sent from my iPhone using LapBandTalk Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathytej 134 Posted October 7, 2013 This support group is intended to help people in the journey to get healthy after a lapband it is not primary school, neither the most experienced people here is obligated to give any type of advice or guidance, everyone here is doing this to support each other... If Micky wants to leave, chao chao and good luck, try to do this alone. Peace and harmony! 2 kll724 and ☠carolinagirl☠ reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites