hi & thank you all....!!

[Shazam 517]

greetings fellow bandsters. this morning i was thinking how lucky i've been through my journey in changing and to my new and improved life!!! and i also owe lots of thanks to each and every one of you. for those who have been there and even those who you may not. we are all together in this. some of us may linger and not say anything, and others post daily. what ever the reason you're here, the fact is you are here. knowing i can come here open and honestly for support, complain, share my joys or even my downs, is for me support.

i actually have a couple of friends who i feel no longer any type of support for me. for me they are no longer an inspiration, or mentor, or even someone i can talk to anymore. and heres why:

my one friend, who I'll call Sharon. Sharon basically got me interested in the lapband. she was successful in loosing lots a weight. she looked fantastic. after she had lost weight she had a face lift, her veins done in her legs, all kinds of things to look good. she now drinks like a fish, in fact her fridge is so full of liquor it makes me ill. i went to a Thirty One party at her house last night, and i was very proud of myself with control and temptation. (i'm finding that is getting easier) she had chips, yummy bread, veggies & dip, and buffalo wings, crackers and some other bad things. a pretty tough selection for one who is on a diet. remember she is on it as well. i limited myself to a couple of wings and veggies. normally i would had have a ton of wings, and certainly the chips. so, as for having her for support, not really anymore. PLUS she has gained a lot of weight back. which i don't want to do. and she is beginning to look not so good. and now... its as though she has gone off the deep end. i'm very uncomfortable around her, she wants to have cocktails all the time...!!!

another friend i work with, Milkshake Mandy she is way gone. i call her milkshake mandy because she is always walking around with a milkshake and claims its a Protein Shake - in a Culver's cup. Right! i can't tell if she has gained it back (she wears lots of hoodies, i think to hide it), but she is constantly eating crap, and drinking crap and always eating chocolate. she lies about nearly everything and i don't have the patience anymore with her. she over reacts to stuff. her drama is wacko. so she is gone from eating healthy anymore.

then there is Jill who i work with and from the start she didn't follow the diet. eating crackers and not drinking the Protein shakes. in fact, yesterday she was walking around with a huge honking bag of chocolate covered popcorn. WTH? so talking to her, is difficult. she complains she hasnt lost weight, and its true, she really hasnt. i have tried to suggest drinking a Protein Shake...and its like talking to the wall. so i can't really find support with her.

Jill's friend Shelly had the sleeve done. she looks marvelous.. she is done. in just a couple of short months, she has completed her journey. (mine will probably be another year at my going rate) (i will admit i do at times wish i had the sleeve done, but i'm getting okay with my decision with the lapband now) she had her surgery in april. but here is the BUT, she eats crap too. from the beginning she was walking in with ice cream cones, crackers, chips.. i hardly saw her eat anything good. so yes, she is skinny now, but her eating habits are very uncomfortable for me. and you know what, maybe not right now, but her eating habits will catch up to her. maybe not today, but it will.

i feel as though i know one or two more people with the lapband, but im not as close as i am with these girls.

its very frustrating for me. so i try not to associate with them anymore or have little time with them. i don't want to be one of those who loose and gain it back. and that is sooooooo easy to do. my husband says i'm like a smoker who quit, and now can't stand smoke. hahaha. but its with food. and i think he's right. turning down the bad choices have surprisingly become extremely easier. and now my "cheats" are like having beef or like last night the wings with breading. i try not to beat myself over the head with a situation as the breading on the chicken, because it was beyond my control. and i keep thinking i didn't have chips or a cocktail. thats where the really bad stuff lies.

another thing, i've learned EXERCISING IS ESSENTIAL for loosing weight and maintaining weight. i know its difficult to get into a routine. but if you do it, the weight melts off even faster.

anyhoo, sorry for making this long. but that is why i am sending thanks to you all. see, i've tried talking to what my friends in real life in regards to their experiences. and we aren't on the same page anymore. they simply want the quick fix. and you know what - there isn't one. this is lifetime. this is life changing. i still have a ways to go. my year anniversary is in november. i've lost over 50lbs and have at least another 50lbs to go. i am off all my old medicines and currently only taking Vitamins. i want to keep it that way. plus, the shopping in smaller sizes is such a moral booster. and this is why i thank you. sometimes, i didn't post, i just read other thoughts, questions and ideas. sometimes, i did post. and other times, i didn't need support. but, you all have been there, anytime, day or night.

good luck to all of you. don't let anyone get you down. youre stronger now. and most of HEALTHIER!!!

[dylanmiles23 2,198]

Very nice. Any WLS is a tool and you have to work with your tools. Too many people think it is a quick fix. They may not have been properly informed by their doctor's staff. I go to my monthly meeting for support. I have missed maybe 2 in 2 years. I will miss it next month because I am walking in fund raiser.

As long as you know you're good, that's all that counts. Enjoy your friends still and do your own thing. I have not told too many people about the band because I don't like others opinions

[gowalking 10,790]

You my friend, will be a success. Congrats on your understanding what life changing really means. It's ladies like you mention above who give WLS a bad name. People see those folks doing nothing different and figure it's the 'easy fix' and then they wind up gaining the weight back anyway. Your friend with the alcohol problem has just changed her addiction. It happens alot from what I understand. Find your true support in life and here virtually and enjoy your new life..you have earned it.

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

what a most wonderful post

it was a delight to read it...you are dead on in so many points..

and i am a strong believer in people being stronger than they think

we can think/will ourselves into anything but if you want it.....truly want it, look out

and you obviously do.......

GREAT job

[Sharpie 3,306]

Your friends obviously don't really "want" to lose weight and maintain it.. sabotaging you will make them feel better about themselves.. it's an age old problem ...Jelousy is a power emotion..Sometimes you have to not only make changes in your eating behavior but you have to change friends...

[tlbutler 98]

I can almost understand. I started this journey this past July 21st and banded September 17th. I was very ready for my life to change...I jumped into this new life and I am very focused on what's ahead. Unfortunately my brother and sister in law (my partners in my eating crime) no longer want to "hang" out together. My sister in law stated that she was upset with me and hasn't spoken to me since mid August. I hope to find our way again and won't give up on our friendship since we are family. But I still remain focused!!

[gowalking 10,790]

I can almost understand. I started this journey this past July 21st and banded September 17th. I was very ready for my life to change...I jumped into this new life and I am very focused on what's ahead. Unfortunately my brother and sister in law (my partners in my eating crime) no longer want to "hang" out together. My sister in law stated that she was upset with me and hasn't spoken to me since mid August. I hope to find our way again and won't give up on our friendship since we are family. But I still remain focused!!

so sorry to hear of this. remember, it's their fear that is making them stay away from you. try not to let it hurt and wait and see if they come back once they realize there's more to the relationship than food. and if it turns out that was what it was all based on, maybe this is better. this reminds me of when my husband and I found out we were having a baby. he and I were very close with my cousin and her husband. they struggled with infertility and once I got pregnant, the relationship changed and even after they adopted and had children as well, it was never the same. I mourned the loss of that relationship but knew that I couldn't have done anything different to change the outcome. Be strong!

[Shazam 517]

Thanks all.

[Bandista 7,466]

Hi Shazam, you sure have your head in the right place -- pre-band here and loved reading your post. Transference is the term for trading in one addiction for another. Those seeking escape through food and unwilling to really look at that are prone to finding another way. Alcohol, for example, or just straight-up sugar. Something to stay in a fog rather than really showing up for life, which it's easy to see you are doing. Congratulations on all -- you are navigating some difficult people around you. Stay strong and stay away from any one who is toxic for you. We all know chips, ice cream, etc. are excluded -- why go through all this not to be successful on the band? We want health, vitality -- beautiful futures full of promise!

[dawalsh 919]

Good for you Shazam! You are right, you're your own best friend when it comes to support. Sadly, many people have surgery think it's a free pass to eat and drink. I say everything in moderation is key.

My daughter had the sleeve and she gained weight at her 6 week weigh in. She came in with a 2 lb gain! That's because she didn't follow the rules and kept eating bad foods like potato chips (which is her biggest downfall). Anyway, her doctor and nutritionist got on her case and she's doing better now. She belongs to the sleeve talk forum and she's better at following the rules.

Best of luck to you and stick to your guns! We're here to support you but just remember supporting yourself is key as well!

[Julie norton 2,850]

Dawalsh. Like what you have to say. It is quite a journey. I would do it again. 7 year bandiversary coming up!!

[Shazam 517]

Thanks all, serious. I will sometimes it's not as easy as it sounds. I sometimes wonder if I hold myself back, when I've slipped and cheated. But I can't beat myself over the head for being human. The only thing I can do is continue. Before if I cheated , that was the gateway for giving up. After being banded, if I have cheated, I stand up and start over right after that. On the same day. I'm not saying that it's okay to cheat either. As I go on, it actually gets easier. Like right now my hubs is making homemade good ol fashion popcorn, with melted butter..... Omg!!! Bit you know what, this chick isn't breaking tonight!!! Woot woot . I just need to remember to exercise no matter what.

And I'm ok now, maybe in an hour or tomorrow I won't be. I kinda feel like an addict.

[LeeB1946 261]

Sounds like you are headed in the right direction. Don't walk away from those people, RUN! Keep up the good work.

[Shazam 517]

LeeB I've seriously considered it. But what's been very nice, I've been getting all sorts of compliments now, nearly daily. And it has been in front of these people. Which also is a bonus, Because I can tell they are mad at me. But they really should be mad at themselves. Oh well. I just checked the scale and it moved again. Yay!!!

[Lady VS 1,147]

Wow! I hate that you're in an environment without support but am glad you found it here. Keep up the good work and congratulations!!!