Im having a meltdown

[sparkles502 22]

Guys i need some serious advice. Here is my story. I got banded on 7/3/13. Initially i struggled to lose weight even on a pre op and post op liquid diet. I was losing but not very quick which is fine. After surgery i was transitioned to solid foods after only a week and a half because i had healed so quickly. I went to see my surgeon about a month after my band for my first fill. By this point i had nailed down my diet and excercise routine and was losing weight in bandster hell just based on that. After my first fill i started dropping weight quick and then bam, found out i was pregnant. My OB wanted me to take in 1700 calories a day. I was concerned at first but my surgeons office said as long as i can get it and im not getting sick its not a problem. Unfortunately i miscarried and now i am having a hard time going back to my regimen from before!!!! I have almost no restriction at this point and for some reason the idea of seeing my surgeon is giving me anxiety. Gaining weight, in addition to the miscarriage is making me depressed. I really dont want to enter the food depression cycle...i dont know what to do

[DELETE THIS ACCOUNT! 12,703]

Oh my goodness, my heart breaks for you. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. ((hugs))

I have no great words of wisdom, I can only say you need to give yourself time to grieve. While you do, try to remember why you got the band in the first place and use that for a place to start over.

You can do this. We believe in you.

[sparkles502 22]

Mis,

Thank you for your kind words. Just a ball of emotions but I'm trying my best not to gain weight!! Lol as sad as that is. Just don't know how to start over. Re focusing on my weight loss may help me feel better and distract me but I just can't control myself right now. Not having any restriction does not help!

[bluegirly 343]

First of all, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine what that is like. But I would suggest you see your surgeon asap to discuss where you should go from here. If you are having a hard time getting back into the swing of things, you might just need a reminder of why you were banded in the first place. But speaking as someone who has been battling depression my whole life, PLEASE consider seeing a counselor. They might be able to help you get back on track with your weight loss and deal with your loss. Come to the forum for a pep-talk anytime!

[lisacaron 5,075]

Sparkle, let me first say your amazing! You are going through something that can be so painful and so personal.

The way you are feeling is totally normal. Your body has been through so much in such a very short time. Your emotions are bound to be all over the place, and your hormones are also a bit out of sorts right now.

Give yourself a little break, it's OK! Yes it really is OK. Take a deep breath, and think for a moment about where you want to go from here.

When you are sure, go back and see your surgeon. You may need/want a bit of fill to give you that feeling of restriction again, and then go slow getting back into a routine. Let your body tell you when it's ready.

Get out of your head for a bit and let your heart and mind catch up to your body and things will balance out for you again my friend. Exercise body strengthening exercises, walking, running, and stretching can be a good way to help take your mind off things, but incorporate them as you are ready to.

It's not a race, it's the rest of your life.

{{BIG HUG}}

[LeeB1946 261]

I totally agree with the ladies above. You might seek outside counseling for the loss of the pregnancy and at the same time find a therapist that can also help with the weight loss issue to help you get back on track. My heart goes out to you and I really wish you all the best.

[CHEZNOEL 4,061]

See your surgeon. He can help you refocus. There is no blame here, just unfortunate circumstances. I wish you peace and love!

[sparkles502 22]

Thank you so much everyone for the awesome advice. I knew posting here would bring wonderful insight. It really does help to hear that its normal. This whole time I have been anxious about what my surgeon would say and how he might be upset with me since I have not brought him the results I promised. I appreciate everyone who replied it really does bring me comfort. I do need to let my mind settle before I can focus. My poor husband I have asked him to hold me accountable but I am just so unmotivated right now. I couldn't be more grateful and blessed to have an amazing support group including you all. Thank you guys so much!!!

[A New New Dawn 1,695]

Sparkles, I agree with the posters above. In addition, I am so sorry for your loss and understand how difficult it must be. Your surgeon will not judge you and is there to help support you. You have literally been to hell and back and it's time to pick up the pieces and put the beautiful smile back on your face. You have every right to grieve, just don't beat yourself up over where you are now.

I had to get an unfill earlier this year as I was having difficulty getting even liquids down, I was having some other health issues and couldn't get a fill until I figured out what my other pain was coming from. Now that it's resolved, I need to get back to my doctor. I am 10 lbs heavier than when I saw him last and couldn't bring myself to face him, feeling like a failure. Yet, I knew I needed to as the band should be helping me and it isn't (no restriction). I went to my LB support group last night (happens to be run by my dr's office dietician). I outted myself for not making the appt and she said they are more frustrated when people DON'T come in because they could have helped before it got worse, so MAKE the appt.

I made my appt today, now it's your turn.

[PuraVida37 715]

I'm sorry for your loss. (((hug))) It's one of the most unfair things to happen to a family.

I am a m/c survivor x5. It was my high insulin due to weight that was the likely culprit. After my first (9wks), I went into a depression like I had never had before. I started to get forgetful, crying all the time, just generally feeling like I was losing my mind. So I decided to seek help. I went to a therapist and worked it all out emotionally. It was very hard, but I made it through the storm to find some peace.

If you need to talk ever, please pm me.

[sparkles502 22]

Update: I went to see my surgeon early this past Monday. He asked me how the last month had gone and I explained everything that happened. I felt bad cuz I emotionally dumped on him but he was very understanding about it all. I told him I had not felt any kind of restriction 2 weeks after my initial fill, needless to say he filled me. Today I am weighing 4 lbs less than I did on Monday. Still struggling to eat all the correct foods but making strides to keep pushing towards my goal. He did recommend waiting a year before getting pregnant so back to the gyn I go for some contraceptives xoxo to you all

[PuraVida37 715]

Glad you posted an update. You sound in much better spirits! Yay! Keep up with eating the correct foods. Getting healthy is what it's all about, right? And it's ok to let your doctor know your frustrations--they need your honesty to really get to the root of the problem to help you.

[Allieg8tor 85]

You are in my prayers during this difficult time. Take it easy. Heal emotionally first, your band will be there, ready to fill when you're ready.