Totally Depressed.

skinnymini · May 15, 2006

This is totally my fault. I haven't been on this board in like forever, I'm eating all the wrong things, I'm not exercising, my financial life is a burden, my job sucks, however i just got a new position in a different office with more $ so maybe that will help. And since i'm just now admitting that I'm an emotional eater, I have been out of control since I don't know how long. I just got a dog to walk so that way someone will walk with me, however, the darn thing is too afraid to go out of the yard. (He's 3 months and I just got him last week) So... i try to play with him in the yard some, but he runs in crap and I don't want to get it on my shoes. I know these are excuses, but I really need some motivation, sometimes I feel like maybe I should have done RNY, just because it's more drastic and I have to eat right. But I'm terrified to death of that death rate. I've only had 1 fill of 3 cc's so far, I know I probably need another one. I owe everybody something and it seems to be no sun behind all of these clouds in my life. I just had a cheesesteak sub for lunch and a very big Breakfast, 2 eggs, cheese, toast, and scrapple, and a hash brown. I know carbs carbs carbs. I'm a carbavoire. I can't seem to stop eating them. I need help seriously. I feel as if maybe i need to see a shrink, I have been maintaining my weight, or atleast i think I have I forgot to weigh in this morning. I just feel pathetic, anyone have any tips for getting motivated or exercising in the home without "exercising" if you catch my drift. ( no getting suited up, turning on the vcr and getting sweat rolling, there's not enough room in my room for that. and that's the only place I have now to exercise. other than that gym I joined that takes $32 out of my bank account every month. My job has me working until 6:30 everyday and the gym closes at 8. I could go on my day off, but i always feel like why work on my day off? I know I'm just a lazy fat loser, that's why I got this surgery, so it could help me to become healthier, and at first I was so motivated to start exercising, and then i couldn't for 6-8 weeks, I need a workout partner, someone to whip my ass in shape. that's what I need. I'm going to see my nutritionist next wed so she can fuss at me. I just feel horrible. That's all i had to say. Respond if you must. BTW: I am so happy for you guys that have the motivation to make the band work for you. :clap2: Keep on keeping on. and just pray for me.

Marcelle

Jachut · May 15, 2006

I feel like responding so that at least you know someone has read what youve said and thought about it.

It really is a head space thing. The band works if you use it properly but you already know that. I dont think seeing a shrink would be a bad move, becuase its not YOU that's a lazy fat loser, its just that your attitude needs resetting.

Your puppy is only young, he needs training, he will be able to walk with you eventually. In fact that's your responsibility now you've bought him, you are going to have to do it. Start with small outings (even if you have to carry him) and he'll get his nerve eventually. Not that I know anything about dogs. And could you keep some old shoes in the backyard so it doesnt matter what you step in?

As to working out on your day off - well it depends how you look at it. It's not a punishment you know, its doing something good for yourself.

Teresita · May 16, 2006

Great thinking on the dog to walk with. Did you check out your local TOPS?

RNY doesn't mean you eat right, you don't eat.

It sounds like you can eat too much so you should look into getting another fill as soon as possible. (Just because you can eat does not mean to do so).

If you are paying for a gym membership, you need to set a goal to get back in there, even if it is for 30 min after you get off from work.

WOW I am so sorry you are feeling this way but I think we all go through it. Putting all t he negative aside. If you want someone to tell you what to do, I'm pretty good at that. There are some folks in here that call me momba. hummmm I didn't get any momba day gifts.

Don't be depressed, depression is what help you gain weigh in the first place.

When are you coming to a supoort group meeting?

I think I have sent you my number before but if you want it again pm me. I will gladly talk to you.

LBT and MD Support Group are here for you.....waiting.....:success1:

In the mean time here is a start...

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=17248

skinnymini · May 16, 2006

Thanks Teresita and Jachut. I really appreciate your replies. I guess my head is a little messed up from everything that's been going on. I kinda feel like since I'm young I should be able to do all kinds of active things and not get as tired as I do. But I do and when I do I feel discouraged. But there's no one holding me back but me. So I'll resolve to try 30 min a day. and then up it from there. I'll walk with my dog, even if I have to carry him, maybe I'll get more of a workout since he isn't that light. I'll quit some of the carbs, although they're oh so yummy and hard to do but i'll take it one at a time, 1/2 cup per meal my nutritionist told me, so I'll do that. It becomes hard when you don't know what certain carbs amount to. like bread? what's a half cup of bread, do you crumble it up and then put it into a measuring cup? Then I won't want to eat it...but then again I guess that isn't a bad idea, and I'm also having trouble feeling satisfied. I know when I can't eat anymore. But I want to get to that point that I'm satisfied without feeling so stuffed that I'll burst if I eat another bite. I'm still new at this thing, just 3 months out. I'll get it together. Maybe I should invest ini that lapband cooking book. Eventually though, I want to run, and enjoy doing it. Since it's finally not raining today, I'll go out for a 1/2 hr walk on my lunch break. Thanks you guys.

Teresita · May 16, 2006

Don't get discuraged you already made the hard decision to have the surgery so now WORK IT GIRL. Find your motivation and move it. Are you setting short term goals?

Good job, make a promise to yourself and stick to it, come back here tomorrow and let us know for sure that you did it.

skinnymini look at the package to find out the carbs....hello...

Eat a salad with every meal, try some light Soup, just 1/2 cup and then eat what you think you want. Just a little bit though, then get up and get away from the table. Wash the dishes, walk around, something to let your mind know you are finished and full.

Teresita · May 17, 2006

Alright skinnymini check in.....what did you do yesterday and what are you going to do today?:brushteeth:

skinnymini · May 18, 2006

well... yesterday i didn't look on here and i didn't see your message until today. I didn't do good yesterday either but i will try what you're saying today. I do look at packages to see how many carbs are in the food. But it's not that kind of stuff I'm having problems with, it's more like homemade food like mashed potatoes or frenchfries if I want them or bread or something like that that is hard to judge 1/2 cup by. That's what my nutritionist said, 1/2 cup of carbs per meal. Today I had shredded wheat, which she likes, she said that I could do half bowl of frosted and half bowl of regular which is what I do. Now lunch time might be something different, I just have dinner from last night which I made pepper steak and rice, not a whole lot but enough to last us atleast until tonight's dinner. I guess a short goal for me is to get moving everyday in some sort of way. I just forget once I get home. Working until 6:30 these days takes a lot out of me. And I just noticed how jealous I got when I saw a girl who started working here with me in December, just start going to the gym everyday with her carpool partner and now she's slimming down nicely. I only wish I had that much will power. I hate to exercise. I started to like it, but then I got discouraged, since my gym closes at 8 and 6 on friday's,it's hard to get there now because I still have to cook for my family when i come home. I know that's an excuse because I could atleast walk on my lunchbreak. I'm full of those though. I just feel like I'm all alone, and there's no one that can relate to me where I am. I know you guys are all here, but then I feel like you're so far away, and there's no one immediately close to me. I know that's a pathetic excuse but that's how I really feel. Anyway, thanks for checking up on me. I'll try to eat better and try to remember to exercise more.

Teresita · May 22, 2006

Alright, skinnymini how was the weekend. What did you eat and what exercise did you get in. Accountability is a wonderful thing.

skinnymini · May 22, 2006

Ok. Well. I walked this weekend, and I did well eating, I made it to my first goal ever and that was to be under 300lbs. I am officially 299.4 with my clothes on and I'm on my period!!! Normally I would weigh myself with my clothes off but I forgot. I've gone from 303 2 weeks ago to 300 on saturday (clothes on again, I know, I know.) and on sunday 302.4 clothes off (first day of my period) and today it was 299.4 with my clothes on. I'm psyched. I got that new job I was talking about and I've come up with a plan to save and pay bills and have fun money all at the same time. Life is good. Thank you for continuing to check up on me. Maybe when I get another car (which will have to be soon unfortunately) I can make it out to one of your monthly meetings. I'm so happy now. I could just scream. approx 16 days to go before I'm out of this crappy office. But thank you. And continue to check up on me because I need that special love.

Marcelle

Teresita · May 22, 2006

You go skinnymini, "God Is Good"!!!

Consistency, keep up the good eating, exercising and postive attitude.

Instead of 16 days to go before getting out of the crappy office, try Thank God I had a job to provide fiancances to help support my family and for the insurance that allowed me to have surgery. Count your blessings!!

LSasha · May 22, 2006

SKINNYMINI - CONGRATS ON THE scale VICTORY:clap2:

KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK MISSY :hug:

Ms. Vicki · May 22, 2006

Skinny-mini, I know you can do it. I have been where you have been. The thing that has helped me the most in controlling my hunger is eating lots and lots of Protein. The carbs just form a vicious circle. The more you eat, the more you want, so the more you eat, the more you want (slapped myself to end the repetition)

Sounds like you are beginning to get a handle on things. Keep up the good work and take things a day at a time. Give yourself a big hug at the end of the day for a job well done. If you have a day of struggles, give yourself a big hug anyway. You are worth it! We're here to support you.