What's the big deal, it's ONLY 5 pounds...

[GoingforGoal 1,734]

(Warning: Lengthy Read)

So I had a recent conversation where I shared that I am struggling with 5 stubborn pounds that I seem to lose and gain repeatedly. The response minimized my struggle and questioned why I felt so unsatisfied after having lost so much weight overall.

The conversation reminded me that there is a huge distinction between starting the band journey and the latter end where you reach goal and wish to maintain your loss. I thought it would be a good topic to discuss with newbies and to enlighten others on why 5 lbs mean so much.

So.. you got banded. What's your goal? We all have one. Some are generic like being healthy, others specific size x and weight x. Regardless, all we want is to obtain that goal and we give very little thought to all else that will come our way. And than, the weight loss journey begins...

At first, it's great. Weight goes down. Clothes get bigger. New wardrobes boost our confidence. Compliments and attention boost our esteems. Positive Positive Positive...all positive.

But here are some things that you may encounter along the way...

1) Originally you just want to lose any weight, it'll mean the band works. Than you'll want to reach perhaps onederland (how long has it been since you seen 100 any thing?), than maybe it's the weight you would feel comfortable and mobile at again, and the list goes on. With each milestone is a new bridge to cross. It doesn't get any easier. You'll play mental war with yourself "Will I be able to do THIS?" (disregarding how easy you got through the previous milestones). Self defeating attitudes linger and can be a challenge all the way to the end

2) Wow you are losing mounds of weight..but now you have to deal w/ excess skin. Major setback here. Nothing like heaps of skin loosely hanging of your arms and stomach. Nothing like flapping inner thighs. At least before the fat filled the space, but now it just hangs like a bag of cottage cheese. It can be unsightly. And it brings a new struggle. You can easily disguise this unappealing matter with longer sleeves, bodysuits/shapers etc but what if the goal was to wear sleeveless shirts, form fitting clothes, shorts, dresses etc. This can feel as defeating as never losing a pound.

3) One of the things I never realized was how much 5 lbs really was. When you are obese, putting on 5 lbs is nothing..it goes unnoticed because your body shape doesn't change drastically, you move around the same etc. But when you get to goal than gain 5 lbs you feel it. Not only does your body change, but it takes a huge hit on your esteem. It's just like the ol days. Nothing fits right, you notice the fat before the overall picture, you lose that feeling of being thin. And to make it worse, when you get to size small, it's impossible to find bodysuits that shaped you like they did when you were a large and medium. So you feel exposed. And after working this hard to get to goal, this is not what the end should feel like. And you are desperate to keep those lbs off.

4) Than there's the final phase, maintenance phase. This is when you reach goal. You are not so focused on losing weight anymore and you are settling into your new body. It's a tricky phase that requires a new level of discipline. This is when you try to eat more normal but eat 'too' normal and you start gaining. This is a new place for me and I have far from mastered the maintenance phase. I struggle daily, like I said, gaining and losing 5 lbs. And with it a surge and drop in my confidence. These are the same feelings I had in the beginning when I would lose 20 gain 30. It doesn't matter how big or small you are, these emotions have punch and shouldn't be minimized.

So here I sit at 154 pounds. I wear body suits to help my silhouette. I feel frumpy with all this excess skin. I am in limbo land waiting for my cosmetic surgery in early October. I am desperate to lose 5 lbs before the surgery and am eager to see what the results are to determine if it was the skin that's made me feel so distorted. I do get + feedback. Yes I am aware of my achievement. But only I know the 'real' body I'm struggling with.

I have a +3 lb rule. Gain more than that, tightening up my diet is a requirement. 5 lb is unacceptable because we all know it's a slippery slope. The goal for me has changed. It's no longer 'just to be healthy', or to be mobile. It's not even a number or size. It's a feeling I get when I'm at my best. Many of us will transition into his mentality as goal comes closer and closer because we are faced with a new reality. There is a new person and body standing in that mirror and that new person wants new things.

So please, when a 'thinner' person struggles..don't minimize it because 'at least' their thinner. One day you will be here and will need just as much support as the one who is starting their journey.

[tiggergramma 129]

I'm not anywhere near goal and am a year out from surgery and that damned 5 pounds is killing me! Thank you for your honesty and good luck!

[Amberley 97]

Great post. We each have our own goals and milestones. We are here to support each other. I am sorry that you felt your concerns were trivialised. Big hugs.

[Bandista 7,466]

Thanks so much! This is very informative for those of us waiting for bands. The various stages all have their challenges, that is certain. And now you are in the waiting game, too -- not only for those elusive five pounds to disappear but also the surgery. Waiting makes everything drag along so slowly. I know how discouraging that can be, plus you have a specific goal you are trying to reach prior to that. Just know that all the right things are happening -- you are working this and doing so well. You are an inspiration and I really appreciate all you have accomplished. Good luck with this next step!

[GoingforGoal 1,734]

lol Amber,

I am a realist. I don't in any way feel 'unsupported' because they majority of us oldies get it. This was more food for thought for newbies to understand what things you contend w/ when you get to near goal. My hope is to open some minds now so that it doesn't become a big shock when it happens to them

[kbell2011 131]

First off, you hit the nail on the head with your different points. It doesn't matter if we are 250 lbs or 150 lbs, we all have goals and I will actually believe that 5 pounds is much harder to lose at 150 than at 250! Good luck to you and your last 5 lbs, I'm sure you can get it done before your surgery in October!

I have this picture saved on my phone and thought I'd share!

[GoingforGoal 1,734]

OMG Kb, thank you for that. I have seen that before and it just hits home even harder. That lump of brick is around my wasteline right now and I'm seriously frustrated with it lol. Thanks again

[lellow 1,713]

I have had all the surgery to remove the excess skin and to remove the 'lumpiness' and even then I'm ever vigilante, wondering if my band is working optimally, watching to make sure I don't gain a lb, freaking when I gain a couple, because that's how it started when my band started leaking, a couple of lbs here, a couple of lbs there, and before I knew it, I'd gained 35lbs.

People were still saying to me, 'but you look amazing!' as if to say I should not be worried about those 35lbs. I had people tell me that they'd give anything to be a BMI of 27 (like I was then) when to me, it might as well have been a kick in the gonads. I worked hard for this, gaining 35lbs wasn't nothing, it was devastating. The scales were going the wrong way!

So especially us oldies, we get it, we definitely get it. I hope your surgery will help you with some of how you feel, but mainly I think feeling like you can take that 5lbs off and keep it off is really what would help, and at our weight, even 2lbs is a struggle to lose.