Help me adjust my perspective here...

[ZinniaMT 182]

Does anyone else ever feel this way...???

Sometimes, I wish that no one would notice my weight loss. Sometimes I wish that no one remembered when I was much fatter.

I'm truly thrilled with my success so far with the lap band and will be more proud of myself when I reach my goal (about 30 lbs to go). BUT my weight has been in the forefront of my mind since I was in second grade. I am almost 40 years old, and I want my weight to be a little lower on the totem pole in my thought-life. I want to just live life, make healthy choices, and not obsess about my weight or body image.

For the most part, conversation with others about my weight loss (their questions about how I'm doing it, compliments, questions about WLS) has been positive, and I am thankful for positive feedback. On the other hand, some coworkers and "friends" are very obvious in their attempt to not acknowledge my success that I've noticed them distancing themselves from me.

My husband is wonderful. He's supportive of my decision, but doesn't make an issue of it. He gives compliments mostly when I "fish" for them. He loved my at 270 and will love me at 170.

Perhaps I'm venting like a mad woman!

Just wondering if I'm alone in these feelings.

Help me think about this differently, please!

[KAATNS 1,473]

I totally get it and you are most definitely not alone! I have no words of wisdom or advice, but just know that I have had similar feelings. I'm hoping that once I reach my goal and learn to live successfully with my band, those thoughts will fade and I can really get busy living. For now though, I NEED to stay "obsessed" with all things weight related in order to stay focused while still trying to live a little. It's a balancing act for sure. I am going through my journey alone so it's great that you have someone wonderful at home to support you. Anyway....congrats on your loss and best wishes on your continued success.

[lucettecole 67]

No darling I have had similar situations, ppl have been distant and ppl always ask me questions about how much have I lost. If they haven't talk to me in a while they say are you still losing weight? Sometimes I get very annoyed and other times I just answer their questions but I am not as popular with friends or family

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[apangie 1]

I can understand how you're feeling and what you're saying! I still have a long way to go and am just beginning my weight loss I hope so I look forward to people noticing! But I also long for the day that I'm just me! People see me & I see me and dont think of my weight & how much I've gained or lost!

[Twinsmommy0513 27]

This is just me...but I'm wondering if the attention about the surgery and weight loss will calm down once you gain a little distance from the actual loss. People will eventually forget or move on and then you can start moving on too. Not sure when you had your surgery but it might be fresh and still so new.

Good luck and try not to let it bug you.

[lucettecole 67]

I hope it will but your lifestyle changes too so there will be those who shouldn't been it your life in the first place or those you used you to make themselves look good.

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[ZinniaMT 182]

Thanks you all for the helpful a encouraging replies!!!!

[HotButterFly 981]

Those coworkers and "friends" are doing you a favor by distancing themselves. Thank them silently.

[ZinniaMT 182]

Those coworkers and "friends" are doing you a favor by distancing themselves. Thank them silently. <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wink.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />

Great point!

[jackie0214 36]

A good friend and co-worker had a sleeve last year. She was older than me, had a higher BMI than me and had tons of health problems. I was happy and excited for her and even assisted in her surgery. But every week that she came in smaller and wearing smaller jeans I found myself envious. I even made a snarky comment about a pair being too " young" for her. I'm not proud and now I'm noticing distance from other co-workers after I've only lost 20#. People are going to be jealous. Real friends will get over it. And, I did apologize to my friend and I can admit she looks great.

[SashaWLS 412]

This is exactly why I haven't told people about the band... People ask how I've lost weight, I say "I saw a nutritionist" (technically true, in the beginning). People want to talk about it, I change the subject. People avoid the subject, GREAT! That's what I want... I think that if you don't want it to be a focus, then just don't make it a focus—either way. I mean, you can think about this as just a natural part of relationships... You're close or distant with whomever you feel close or distant to, in that moment. It doesn't have to be about your weight.

Regardless, congratulations to you! It's an adjustment for sure, but we will get there!!

[Luka Beth 78]

I told none about mine. I tell them its eating healthier after seeing a nutritionist, and exercise. And those are changes they can see and have been seeing since before my surgery. I was out for surgery but i told them i was having my gall bladder out. The band just helps me make better choices.