Starting over after almost dying twice and gaining back 150 pounds

[Bmjohnson 84]

wow thank you for the story. i think telling all this and not keeping it to yourself is very brave and will be very beneficial to all those that have had this surgery. thanks again and good luck!!!!!!

[AllieBB 7]

1. Thank you for your honesty and courage. I heard you loud and clear.

[mamelva 1]

Thank you for being so honest and bold to share to help others!!! I had lapband done 2 1/2 years ago and lost 70 lbs. I never have a restriction so tight I couldn't eat solid foods after I was allowed solid foods. I have never thrown up from the lapband. I only have 6cc in mine. It will hold 14cc. I have gained 10 lbs and am frustrated because my dr deosn't want to put more in. They feel the flow is restricted enough and I need to just control my portions. I am addicted to food!!! I had this done to give me some control, but I have truly never felt very restricted. But because of what you have shared, I am wondering if I have just stretched my esphoagus. Not sure what I need to do. I am praying (as I have all my life) for some strength and control. I am tired of food ruling my life!!!! Whether I am fat or smaller- I always have to think about food!

[The Icy One 518]

Thank you for being so honest and bold to share to help others!!! I had lapband done 2 1/2 years ago and lost 70 lbs. I never have a restriction so tight I couldn't eat solid foods after I was allowed solid foods. I have never thrown up from the lapband. I only have 6cc in mine. It will hold 14cc. I have gained 10 lbs and am frustrated because my dr deosn't want to put more in. They feel the flow is restricted enough and I need to just control my portions. I am addicted to food!!! I had this done to give me some control, but I have truly never felt very restricted. But because of what you have shared, I am wondering if I have just stretched my esphoagus. Not sure what I need to do. I am praying (as I have all my life) for some strength and control. I am tired of food ruling my life!!!! Whether I am fat or smaller- I always have to think about food!

Remember, it isn't really about restriction, it is about tuning in and listening to your band, working with it. I have 5 1/2 cc in my 10 cc band and that is plenty... I am rolling solidly in my Green Zone as long as I follow the guidelines. If I eat the right portions, have my hard Protein first, then good veg, then fruit, then carb, last. If I take small bites, chew, chew, chew. Time out my bites, allow myself to wait between meals, even if my tummy gets a little rumbly. Remember, if I get that "hunger signal" that my band will most likely, if I give it a chance, shut it down in a few minutes and I won't be bothered by it, any longer. (It is so marvelous! )

I am still very much a work in progress. I am seven months out, 55 pounds down. Not stellar, by any means. I really stalled for a couple of months. I discovered the delightful world of sliders and I dove in head first and started eating like a true devotee. Yeah... Slowed myself right down. Then gained a few. Lost them. Then discovered that I can eat Taco Bell Cantina Bowls and gained ten. Had to re lose that. I am so. Obnoxious! And yes, I am frustrated with myself because I know the drill. I can recite it backward and forward and in my sleep with one hand tied behind my back!

But I get back on track, got on the scale and am down ten and back on track, my portions are coming back under control, I am eating the right bite sizes, timing them, telling my stomach and my head to STFU when they start hollering at me between meal times and, most importantly, I am tuning back in to my band, hardcore.

We are all human. We are all frail. We all need support and to uplift one another. And we can all do this! That is why we got this surgery! Hang tough. This is doable.

Edited June 16, 2014 by The Icy One

[t_marie 5]

Ur story hit home. How are you doing now?

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[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Welcome. I didn't manage my band all that well either (ignorance) so kudos to you for getting back on track.

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[cherie122 0]

I have been a member here since 2007 and at one time I was a contributing member. I have been gone from the sight for several years now but I am back. I am writing to tell my story in hopes that I can find some much needed support and also maybe give a word or two of advice to those who think they can outsmart the band, eat around it and most importantly, to those who are abusing the band or using it as a crutch instead of a tool. This story is long but I believe it will help so many and possibly even save someone’s life. I hope I am posting in the right area, if not, maybe a mod can move it.

I got my band on December 10th of 2007 and I was very excited and hopeful that it was going to be the answer to my prayers. I weighed about 380 pounds the day of my surgery and wanted desperately to find a way to get control of my life-long emotional eating problem. Although I lived in Phoenix, AZ, I had my surgery done near Denver, CO because I found a U.S. based doctor that provided the band at a discounted rate and I did not want to go to Mexico. I was a cash pay patient and I had to borrow the money from my dad to get the surgery so I needed to find the best bargain for my money. My husband and I drove to Colorado to get the surgery done and 2 days after my surgery, I got in a car and traveled back from Colorado to Arizona with my new saving grace installed and a sense of hope that I would finally be able to lose the weight that had been making me miserable most of my life. Just like most people, I was given rules/instructions about only full liquids the first 2 weeks, the basic band diet of how much to eat afterwards, no soda, no drinking with meals, when to get fills, etc.

With the band in place but no Fluid in it yet, I was yet to experience this thing they called restriction and I was eager to get my first fill so I could start to reap the benefits of my newly installed ring of hope. During the first 2 weeks, I was hungry! I mean I was VERY hungry and full liquids was just not cutting it for me. I tried my best to stick to it but after about 5 days, I decided that I would just try to eat ONE french fry and “see what happened.” I ate one and oh my goodness, it tasted soooooo good. I waited a few minutes and nothing happened. Nothing! Ok, so maybe I will try one or two more since obviously it is not doing any harm and I didn’t have any fill in yet. What could go wrong, right? That night I ate about 10 fries. The next day, realizing that nothing bad happened from my french fry episode, I started adding little bits of solid food here and there and by the end of day 8, I was eating small portions of solid food a few times a day.

On the morning of day 9, I woke up and I was just not feeling right. I was cold and no matter what I did, I could not get warm. Having 200+ pounds of fat to insulate me, being cold was something I was not accustomed to. I was always hot so this feeling of chills was definitely something new for me. I also started noticing that my stomach was making this loud gurgling sound. It sounded like the stomach fluids were working overtime and my stomach ached. On a hunch I took my temperature and was shocked to find out that I had a fever of 102.9. I asked my husband to take me to the ER since it seemed that there was something possibly band surgery related going on.

Long story short, I ended up having a micro-perforation in my stomach and almost died. They admitted me to ICU and the local Lap-Band doctor said that the doctor that performed the surgery had pulled the stitching too tight and left a very microscopic tear in the stomach tissue. I admitted to him that I had been eating solid foods too soon and he said that may have aggravated the issue but was not the cause. I was put on nothing by mouth for 14 days. I could not even have an ice chip. The doctor said that I had a 50/50 chance of my stomach healing on its own and if not, they would have to do surgery to attempt to repair the small tear but that it was a very dangerous surgery and could be fatal. Thank God that after 2 weeks of nothing by mouth and an IV bag full of proton pump inhibitors, the tear healed on its own and I was released. Because of the tear, I had to wait 6 weeks from my release from the hospital to get my first fill.

The time came for my first fill and I was so excited. I have a 14cc band and they started me off with 5 cc’s of Fluid. I had the fill done under flouro so I could see that the fill slowed down the flow of liquid. I wanted more but the fill doctor said I had to take it slow and adjust it slowly to the right amount, until I found my sweet spot. With 5 cc’s of fill, I still did not notice any restriction at all so I made a follow up appt for more fill 4 weeks later. This time when I went in, they added 4 more cc’s and I was at 9 cc’s in my 14 cc band. For the first time, I was starting to notice restriction and I was able to eat way less. Although I did have restriction, I wanted more because I felt that I could still eat more than ¾ cup at a time so I made a 3^rd appt and had more fill put it. This time they only added a little less than 1 cc. I swallowed the barium under flouro and I could see that the flow was much slower this time. They handed me my bottle of Water and asked me to slowly drink it and let them know if I had any issues. After a few sips, I could feel the Water sitting in my esophagus, waiting to slowly trickle down but I did not tell them. I finally had really good restriction and although I should have had about ½ cc removed, I left with the additional 1 cc of fill. This is when things really started to change and the weight started to drop off. I could barely eat 2 tablespoons of food and I was pb’ing several times a day.

Even though I finally could not eat very much at all and had super tight restriction, the emotional urge to binge was still there. I can’t believe I am admitting this but there were several times that I would go to a fast food restaurant, order a couple of cheeseburgers and fries, chew them up in huge bites and spit them into a bag, just so I could feel that sense of relief I used to get from binging. Thinking back on it, it was really gross and more importantly it was really sad and should have been a warning sign that I have emotional eating issues but like most people, I turned a blind eye to what was going on in my own body/mind/life.

At this point, it had been about a year since my surgery and the weight was coming off at a steady pace. I was down about 125 pounds since my surgery date. On a daily basis, I was pb’ing 10+ times a day, every time I attempted to eat even the tiniest bite of solid food. FYI: This means my band was too tight! If you are unable to eat solid food without pb’ing, after properly chewing and taking very small bites, there is a problem. Even though I knew this, I ignored it because I was finally, for the first time in my life, losing weight! Since I was unable to eat solid foods, I lived on creamy Soups, mashed potatoes, pudding, ice cream, etc. As time went by, I noticed I was able to eat more and more of the slider foods so I made another appt to get more fill put in because the weight loss started really slowing down. In hindsight, the problem was not that I needed more fill, the problem was that I was eating high calorie slider foods because the band was too tight to eat solid foods and this was slowing down my weight loss. I also started taking little sips of fluid with my food because I noticed that I was able to eat more when I did this. I was emotionally eating, just like before, but I just changed the way I did it. In hindsight, I should have had about ½ cc of my fill removed and then I would have been able to eat about ¾ cup of solid food without pb’ing and if I would have followed the band rules and ate properly and healthy, I would have had absolute success. However, this was not the case with me. I wanted to do it my way and my way it was.

I went for another fill but this time I used a different fill provider that did not use flouro. I had another cc of fluid put in and that made me have a total of almost 11 cc’s in my 14 cc band. Then a few months later I had another cc put in and to make a long story short, at the end, I had almost 12.5 cc’s in my 14 cc band. Over time, even with all of that fluid in my band, I was able to start eating more solid foods. By the end of this fiasco, I could eat an entire McDonald’s hamburger and a small fry. I knew something was wrong. It had to be. I thought I had eroded, or was losing fluid or something. Something had to be going on because I could eat way too much for the amount of fluid I had in and what used to make me pb was not even phasing me anymore. I went for another appt to see what was going on and had the doctor that uses flouro to look at everything while I was under flouro. All the fluid was still in the band, there was no leak. He said I had really good restriction but was concerned because he noticed my esophagus looked enlarged and said that I needed to go on liquids only for 2 weeks and then come back to see if the esophagus looked normal again. Sadly, he did not remove my fluid at the time and that was a HUGE mistake on his part. He should have taken out the fluid but he didn’t and I left the appt a hot mess. I tried to stay on liquids for 2 weeks but it only lasted a couple of days and I was back to just like before. I did not return for the 2 week follow up and continued to do the same thing I was doing because my biggest fear was to have all the fluid removed and be able to eat like I did before the band and gain all the weight back that I lost.

For more than a year I continued with the same amount of fluid in my band and eating slider foods and drinking with my meals and just continued on in this craziness. In January of 2011, I was standing in my kitchen and I started to feel really sick like I was going to pass out. I had my husband take me to the hospital and they ran some test and told me that I was anemic and my blood level was low, indicating that I had some sort of internal bleeding going on but they did not know where it was coming from. I was admitted to the hospital and they ran more tests and didn’t find anything and sent me home. This horrible feeling of passing out continued for months and each time I went to the ER, they told me my blood levels were low but just above where I needed a blood transfusion. I had no insurance so I was only able to get care at the ER. In June of 2011, I ended up back in the ER and they admitted me this time. They did an endoscopy and colonoscopy looking for the source of the slow bleed. They found it on the endoscopy. It was coming from my esophagus! I had stretched it out so much from the fill being so tight that I had caused a small tear in the tissue. Once again, here I was in the hospital with another tear! Only this time I did it to myself. The doctor said my esophagus had turned into a stomach and the area where my esophagus ended and my stomach began had become one. They removed every drop of fill from my band at that time and after 2 more weeks of nothing by mouth, that tear healed as well and I was released and feeling much better. A year later I had another Endoscopy and everything was back to normal again. I never had any of the fluid put back in my band and over the last 2 years, I gained back every single pound I lost, plus some. I now weigh 400 pounds.

This is my biggest warning: If you are finding that you can eat more and more and you are pushing yourself and the restriction is lessening, there may be a problem. For me, my esophagus had turned into a stomach and was holding entire meals! If you cannot keep solid food down the majority of the time, then you are likely too tight. I used the band as a crutch instead of a tool as it was intended.

I am starting over again and have an appt for a fill tomorrow. I am going to do it right this time and I will actually follow the rules this time. My life depends on it. I have to lose the weight or I am going to die. Period. I would be happy to elaborate on anything for anybody, just message me. I will be hoping for support from fellow bander’s and if I can help anyone at all or answer any questions, please let me know.

Hi divaofsongs

Thank you so much for sharing your story. Im coming up to 8 weeks banded now and happy to offer support or an ear i eat way less now but im scared im doing damage eating small amounts of chocolate etc

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[MissB1982 75]

Wow I didn't even know this could happen. I'm glad you are ok.