Starting over after almost dying twice and gaining back 150 pounds

[lellow 1,713]

Restriction changed for me every time the band was unfilled, so don't worry about the numbers, just concentrate on how it makes you feel and how well you're working with it. Also the swelling that occurs after a fill may settle in a few days and you might start to feel less restricted, so my suggestion is if you do, maybe do itty bitty fills from now on just to 'perfect' the fill level that will right for you.

[soccerturtle 7]

I have been a member here since 2007 and at one time I was a contributing member. I have been gone from the sight for several years now but I am back. I am writing to tell my story in hopes that I can find some much needed support and also maybe give a word or two of advice to those who think they can outsmart the band' date=' eat around it and most importantly, to those who are abusing the band or using it as a crutch instead of a tool. This story is long but I believe it will help so many and possibly even save someone’s life. I hope I am posting in the right area, if not, maybe a mod can move it.

I got my band on December 10th of 2007 and I was very excited and hopeful that it was going to be the answer to my prayers. I weighed about 380 pounds the day of my surgery and wanted desperately to find a way to get control of my life-long emotional eating problem. Although I lived in Phoenix, AZ, I had my surgery done near Denver, CO because I found a U.S. based doctor that provided the band at a discounted rate and I did not want to go to Mexico. I was a cash pay patient and I had to borrow the money from my dad to get the surgery so I needed to find the best bargain for my money. My husband and I drove to Colorado to get the surgery done and 2 days after my surgery, I got in a car and traveled back from Colorado to Arizona with my new saving grace installed and a sense of hope that I would finally be able to lose the weight that had been making me miserable most of my life. Just like most people, I was given rules/instructions about only full liquids the first 2 weeks, the basic band diet of how much to eat afterwards, no soda, no drinking with meals, when to get fills, etc.

With the band in place but no Fluid in it yet, I was yet to experience this thing they called restriction and I was eager to get my first fill so I could start to reap the benefits of my newly installed ring of hope. During the first 2 weeks, I was hungry! I mean I was VERY hungry and full liquids was just not cutting it for me. I tried my best to stick to it but after about 5 days, I decided that I would just try to eat ONE french fry and “see what happened.” I ate one and oh my goodness, it tasted soooooo good. I waited a few minutes and nothing happened. Nothing! Ok, so maybe I will try one or two more since obviously it is not doing any harm and I didn’t have any fill in yet. What could go wrong, right? That night I ate about 10 fries. The next day, realizing that nothing bad happened from my french fry episode, I started adding little bits of solid food here and there and by the end of day 8, I was eating small portions of solid food a few times a day.

On the morning of day 9, I woke up and I was just not feeling right. I was cold and no matter what I did, I could not get warm. Having 200+ pounds of fat to insulate me, being cold was something I was not accustomed to. I was always hot so this feeling of chills was definitely something new for me. I also started noticing that my stomach was making this loud gurgling sound. It sounded like the stomach fluids were working overtime and my stomach ached. On a hunch I took my temperature and was shocked to find out that I had a fever of 102.9. I asked my husband to take me to the ER since it seemed that there was something possibly band surgery related going on.

Long story short, I ended up having a micro-perforation in my stomach and almost died. They admitted me to ICU and the local Lap-Band doctor said that the doctor that performed the surgery had pulled the stitching too tight and left a very microscopic tear in the stomach tissue. I admitted to him that I had been eating solid foods too soon and he said that may have aggravated the issue but was not the cause. I was put on nothing by mouth for 14 days. I could not even have an ice chip. The doctor said that I had a 50/50 chance of my stomach healing on its own and if not, they would have to do surgery to attempt to repair the small tear but that it was a very dangerous surgery and could be fatal. Thank God that after 2 weeks of nothing by mouth and an IV bag full of proton pump inhibitors, the tear healed on its own and I was released. Because of the tear, I had to wait 6 weeks from my release from the hospital to get my first fill.

The time came for my first fill and I was so excited. I have a 14cc band and they started me off with 5 cc’s of Fluid. I had the fill done under flouro so I could see that the fill slowed down the flow of liquid. I wanted more but the fill doctor said I had to take it slow and adjust it slowly to the right amount, until I found my sweet spot. With 5 cc’s of fill, I still did not notice any restriction at all so I made a follow up appt for more fill 4 weeks later. This time when I went in, they added 4 more cc’s and I was at 9 cc’s in my 14 cc band. For the first time, I was starting to notice restriction and I was able to eat way less. Although I did have restriction, I wanted more because I felt that I could still eat more than ¾ cup at a time so I made a 3[sup']rd[/sup] appt and had more fill put it. This time they only added a little less than 1 cc. I swallowed the barium under flouro and I could see that the flow was much slower this time. They handed me my bottle of Water and asked me to slowly drink it and let them know if I had any issues. After a few sips, I could feel the Water sitting in my esophagus, waiting to slowly trickle down but I did not tell them. I finally had really good restriction and although I should have had about ½ cc removed, I left with the additional 1 cc of fill. This is when things really started to change and the weight started to drop off. I could barely eat 2 tablespoons of food and I was pb’ing several times a day.

Even though I finally could not eat very much at all and had super tight restriction, the emotional urge to binge was still there. I can’t believe I am admitting this but there were several times that I would go to a fast food restaurant, order a couple of cheeseburgers and fries, chew them up in huge bites and spit them into a bag, just so I could feel that sense of relief I used to get from binging. Thinking back on it, it was really gross and more importantly it was really sad and should have been a warning sign that I have emotional eating issues but like most people, I turned a blind eye to what was going on in my own body/mind/life.

At this point, it had been about a year since my surgery and the weight was coming off at a steady pace. I was down about 125 pounds since my surgery date. On a daily basis, I was pb’ing 10+ times a day, every time I attempted to eat even the tiniest bite of solid food. FYI: This means my band was too tight! If you are unable to eat solid food without pb’ing, after properly chewing and taking very small bites, there is a problem. Even though I knew this, I ignored it because I was finally, for the first time in my life, losing weight! Since I was unable to eat solid foods, I lived on creamy Soups, mashed potatoes, pudding, ice cream, etc. As time went by, I noticed I was able to eat more and more of the slider foods so I made another appt to get more fill put in because the weight loss started really slowing down. In hindsight, the problem was not that I needed more fill, the problem was that I was eating high calorie slider foods because the band was too tight to eat solid foods and this was slowing down my weight loss. I also started taking little sips of fluid with my food because I noticed that I was able to eat more when I did this. I was emotionally eating, just like before, but I just changed the way I did it. In hindsight, I should have had about ½ cc of my fill removed and then I would have been able to eat about ¾ cup of solid food without pb’ing and if I would have followed the band rules and ate properly and healthy, I would have had absolute success. However, this was not the case with me. I wanted to do it my way and my way it was.

I went for another fill but this time I used a different fill provider that did not use flouro. I had another cc of fluid put in and that made me have a total of almost 11 cc’s in my 14 cc band. Then a few months later I had another cc put in and to make a long story short, at the end, I had almost 12.5 cc’s in my 14 cc band. Over time, even with all of that fluid in my band, I was able to start eating more solid foods. By the end of this fiasco, I could eat an entire McDonald’s hamburger and a small fry. I knew something was wrong. It had to be. I thought I had eroded, or was losing fluid or something. Something had to be going on because I could eat way too much for the amount of fluid I had in and what used to make me pb was not even phasing me anymore. I went for another appt to see what was going on and had the doctor that uses flouro to look at everything while I was under flouro. All the fluid was still in the band, there was no leak. He said I had really good restriction but was concerned because he noticed my esophagus looked enlarged and said that I needed to go on liquids only for 2 weeks and then come back to see if the esophagus looked normal again. Sadly, he did not remove my fluid at the time and that was a HUGE mistake on his part. He should have taken out the fluid but he didn’t and I left the appt a hot mess. I tried to stay on liquids for 2 weeks but it only lasted a couple of days and I was back to just like before. I did not return for the 2 week follow up and continued to do the same thing I was doing because my biggest fear was to have all the fluid removed and be able to eat like I did before the band and gain all the weight back that I lost.

For more than a year I continued with the same amount of fluid in my band and eating slider foods and drinking with my meals and just continued on in this craziness. In January of 2011, I was standing in my kitchen and I started to feel really sick like I was going to pass out. I had my husband take me to the hospital and they ran some test and told me that I was anemic and my blood level was low, indicating that I had some sort of internal bleeding going on but they did not know where it was coming from. I was admitted to the hospital and they ran more tests and didn’t find anything and sent me home. This horrible feeling of passing out continued for months and each time I went to the ER, they told me my blood levels were low but just above where I needed a blood transfusion. I had no insurance so I was only able to get care at the ER. In June of 2011, I ended up back in the ER and they admitted me this time. They did an endoscopy and colonoscopy looking for the source of the slow bleed. They found it on the endoscopy. It was coming from my esophagus! I had stretched it out so much from the fill being so tight that I had caused a small tear in the tissue. Once again, here I was in the hospital with another tear! Only this time I did it to myself. The doctor said my esophagus had turned into a stomach and the area where my esophagus ended and my stomach began had become one. They removed every drop of fill from my band at that time and after 2 more weeks of nothing by mouth, that tear healed as well and I was released and feeling much better. A year later I had another Endoscopy and everything was back to normal again. I never had any of the fluid put back in my band and over the last 2 years, I gained back every single pound I lost, plus some. I now weigh 400 pounds.

This is my biggest warning: If you are finding that you can eat more and more and you are pushing yourself and the restriction is lessening, there may be a problem. For me, my esophagus had turned into a stomach and was holding entire meals! If you cannot keep solid food down the majority of the time, then you are likely too tight. I used the band as a crutch instead of a tool as it was intended.

I am starting over again and have an appt for a fill tomorrow. I am going to do it right this time and I will actually follow the rules this time. My life depends on it. I have to lose the weight or I am going to die. Period. I would be happy to elaborate on anything for anybody, just message me. I will be hoping for support from fellow bander’s and if I can help anyone at all or answer any questions, please let me know.

Missmonaaz, thank you for sharing your story! It took extremes courage for you to be able to disclose so many personal details about your weight loss journey thus far! I think, in my humble opinion, that we have to be ready to commit to making HUGE lifestyle/dietary changes after being banded or else we are only hurting ourselves. I was just banded earlier this month and was determined to adhere to all the diet guidelines/restrictions and what not. It was SO hard!!! I kept telling myself it would be ok to eat blenderized food before it was time to so so because I felt SO darn hungry at day 3 post op. Then I have in to temptation and ate blenderized chicken in 1/2 cup of broth. I regretted it almost immediately then panicked! I googled what could happen if you eat food too soon after band surgery and the articles and posts I read scared me straight lol. Now I'm back to eating blenderized foods (as directed) and sticking to it. The ladies I got banded with and I have been in touch with me and they have not adhered to the diet but say they "feel fine".

We all have to admit to ourselves that we have had MAJOR surgery that has changed our innards because we needed help in the fight of our lives. We had this surgery to get a tool to succeed in the weight loss battle most of us have faced the entirety of our lives. At the end of the day we only fool ourselves into thinking we know better than our doctors or even what our band tells us. Thank you for reminding us to respect our bands and I'm so happy you healed both times and now get this 3rd chance to save your own life. You can do this but you have to give it everything you've got!! It's SO hard but I believe you can do anything you set your mind to!! I'm here to help/support in any way I can. Slow and steady wins the race

Sam

[lucettecole 67]

Thank you for sharing, I had a fill on August 19th my forth, I am restricted , very restricted, I lost only three pounds in 6 weeks, my doc says he wanted to jump start my weight loss by adding Fluid, I am currently eating broth and fruit bars frozen, after reading your story I am gonna be paying close attention , thanks again

Sent from my iPhone using LapBandTalk

[lellow 1,713]

Thank you for sharing, I had a fill on August 19th my forth, I am restricted , very restricted, I lost only three pounds in 6 weeks, my doc says he wanted to jump start my weight loss by adding Fluid, I am currently eating broth and fruit bars frozen, after reading your story I am gonna be paying close attention , thanks again

Sent from my iPhone using LapBandTalk

I worry when any provider tells you they want to get you tighter so you will start losing. It's a fine balance and finding the perfect spot means NOT being too tight. Tighter is NOT better. If you're only eating fruit bars and broth you're too tight.

This is a chart that tells you where you should be. Being too tight not only slows your weight loss (or halts it completely) but can damage you.

[Lori123 170]

Thank you for having the courage to share your journey with us. You also did it in a way where you admitted all the wrong things you did along the way, and DIdnt blame it on the band, which is a tool. I suspect none of us on here have any right to condem you because most of us have gotten off track in different degrees at one time or another and your story helped me, for one, snap to attention and get back on track. Your braver than alot of people I know. I wish you all the best . One suggestion as I was an emotional eater as well- have you thought about adding some counseling or a support group this time around? That might be helpful for you...by sharing your story you have helped some of us on here. :0)

[dgoertz1 120]

Thanks for sharing. We are all on here because we have a eating disorder! My experience so far has been great...but I'm not even a year into it am at goal. It's lots of work from here on out. I'll be sixty soon and I will fight my weight for the rest of my God giving life. Best of luck!

[divaofsongs 42]

Wow, what an amazing amount of support! I forgot how wonderful the people on this site were. You all are amazing and I thank you for your encouragement and support.

The bottom line is that the Lap-Band is a tool, not a crutch. The damage I did, I did to myself, the band did not do the damage, I did by not following the rules, making foolish decisions and relying on the band to keep me from being able to eat much of anything. It is all about control, with the proper fill, the band allows you to feel full with a small portion and gives a person willpower and motivation where it is lacking. As much of a useful tool as the band can be, it can also be a weapon we use against ourselves if we choose to do the wrong thing.

Don't get me wrong, there are some instances where a person has negative outcomes and circumstances surrounding the band it is is not their fault. Erosion and other issues are inevitable and just part of the adverse possibilities of the band. However, in my case, I made choices that created the issues I had with my band and I am the only one to blame. I have learned my lesson and although I do have a hard head, I think the message was able to penetrate my thick skull and I will not be having a repeat performance.

Question: Is there an area of the forum where we can post a daily food journal to keep ourselves accountable for what, when, and how we eat every day?

[dylanmiles23 2,198]

Wow, what an amazing amount of support! I forgot how wonderful the people on this site were. You all are amazing and I thank you for your encouragement and support.

The bottom line is that the Lap-Band is a tool, not a crutch. The damage I did, I did to myself, the band did not do the damage, I did by not following the rules, making foolish decisions and relying on the band to keep me from being able to eat much of anything. It is all about control, with the proper fill, the band allows you to feel full with a small portion and gives a person willpower and motivation where it is lacking. As much of a useful tool as the band can be, it can also be a weapon we use against ourselves if we choose to do the wrong thing.

Don't get me wrong, there are some instances where a person has negative outcomes and circumstances surrounding the band it is is not their fault. Erosion and other issues are inevitable and just part of the adverse possibilities of the band. However, in my case, I made choices that created the issues I had with my band and I am the only one to blame. I have learned my lesson and although I do have a hard head, I think the message was able to penetrate my thick skull and I will not be having a repeat performance.

Question: Is there an area of the forum where we can post a daily food journal to keep ourselves accountable for what, when, and how we eat every day?

i wear a Fitbit and record all my food, Water and activities on the computer and or iphone. I just recorded my dinner-WOW! I over ate bread dunked in oil. My fault.

Welcome back and stay in touch.

Arlene

[blondegal_ 1,028]

Quite a few people use myfitnesspal or loseit app. You can search the site for ppl asking for friends on those apps to help with accountability.

Best of luck to you!!

[JustDoIt130 369]

I applaud you, I'm back on track after almost a year- regained 25 lbs, but have lost about 7 so far this month after re-committing. Slider foods- namely, for me, ice cream, are not my friend.

I use My Fitness Pal on my android phone, it's great, I log everything I eat. It has a scanning feature so you can just scan the bar code of a food, if it's not already in their extensive database. You can also put in your recipes, etc, and keep track of home made foods. It really is what keeps me on track. You can also log your exercise, etc.

Good luck!

Nicki

[Laneyb_00 81]

Wow ! I just want to say thank you for sharing ! Im getting banded the end of next month and have wandered what happens if I do this or do that...I'm very inspired by your story and wish you the best of luck on your new journey :-)

[The Icy One 518]

Missmonaaz, I commend you for having the courage to post your story in such an open and honest way. I have learned so much from reading what you have to share. I can identify with so much of what goes on in your head. Let's face it, we don't get to the point where we need WLS because we have perfectly normal relationships with food. I applaud you for seeing the damage you were doing, getting treatment, healing and beginning again. You have not given up. You are strong and determined and I hope that you will keep posting as you progress and share how you are doing.

When you hit your goal weight, you seriously need to write a book about your entire experience, beginning to goal. There are a lot of bandsters who would benefit from your experiences. I am a pre bandster and I have learned much from you. Thank you.

[t_marie 5]

I'am thankful to you for writing this about what you have went through. I have had my band for a little over 5 years and keep having some of the same issues.

[Tia Payton 4]

Thank you for sharing you personal trials with the band. For me I was really weak afterwards. Being on 600 calories was keeping so weak. Yesterday I went for my first fill and the nurse could not find my pouch! She poked me several times. I was so painful I cried like a baby!. She stopped and set another appt so they can take an ex ray and locate the port. I had to stay there for more than an hour after my appt because I would not stop bleeding. My stomach was bleeding so bad it ruined my shirt. I was so scared and very scared to go back Wednesday. I called today and was told that this is normal for the first fill. But upset me is that I was told today that she should have numb my belly before trying to inject me. At this point I am not as confident now, as I was before I got this put on. Has this happened to anyone else?

[1973Angel 34]

I too commend you for being BRAVE enough to post this!! If nothing more than to get it off your chest and to help others!! I'm glad no one condemned you because that is the last thing that you need!! (I know this and could pop anyone in the nose for looking down on others for using words to hurt when you know good and dang well what you own lesson is!!)

Your story started the same as me. I was told that if I ate solids too soon...if I drank pop and went off track, then I would throw up and would never do it again. I took a small bite of something solid and it went down. Had a weaker moment and tried pop and that went down smooth as butter! I certainly wasn't about to call my doctor and say "Hey! You know how you told me to NOT eat solids or fizzy drinks?? Well lookie here...I did it! WOO HOO!!" Yeah...it's not a "fun" feeling to fall off the wagon but at least you have learned your lesson!! I am at my learning point right now. Happy with what I lost....but not happy that I didn't achieve my goal. I know I must get right.

Lastly, thank GOD that you are HERE!!! I am happy that you survived to tell your story because I know others (like me) appreciate you being candid and up front. Some may act self-righteous and all knowing but the truth of the matter is...not everyone has the SAME story!! We need to learn from EVERYBODY and keep on SUPPORTING people...especially if that is what you've come here for!! Peace my dear...and keep on keeping on!! <3