Lying About LapBand

[gigglypug 77]

Question to those who tell people that their weight loss is due to "exercising and eating right"...do you consider the weight of the person you're speaking with? Asking because so many people post here upset when someone told them they should 't have WLS and that exercise and eating right is all it takes. I'm not suggesting forcing people out of the closet and clearly the level of disclosure should be in proportion to the relationship with the listener...but I'm sensing quite a bit of shame in the WLS community and I believe we're doing it to ourselves...

[DELETE THIS ACCOUNT! 12,703]

Question to those who tell people that their weight loss is due to "exercising and eating right"...do you consider the weight of the person you're speaking with? Asking because so many people post here upset when someone told them they should 't have WLS and that exercise and eating right is all it takes. I'm not suggesting forcing people out of the closet and clearly the level of disclosure should be in proportion to the relationship with the listener...but I'm sensing quite a bit of shame in the WLS community and I believe we're doing it to ourselves...

I completely agree with you.

This is exactly why I'm very open about the fact I've had WLS. I figure I'm doing others with WLS a grave disservice if I don't use myself as a means of educating others. How are we going to dispel the myths like "it's the easy way out" if none of us are willing to speak up and speak the truth? Or worse, if an overweight friend wants to know how I did it and I don't share the truth, potentially helping them?

Everyone has to make their own choice based on their own life, but I don't think hiding the fact I have the Lap Band helps anyone- including myself.

[MandaMom23 684]

Question to those who tell people that their weight loss is due to "exercising and eating right"...do you consider the weight of the person you're speaking with? Asking because so many people post here upset when someone told them they should 't have WLS and that exercise and eating right is all it takes. I'm not suggesting forcing people out of the closet and clearly the level of disclosure should be in proportion to the relationship with the listener...but I'm sensing quite a bit of shame in the WLS community and I believe we're doing it to ourselves...

Band or no band, weightloss IS due to eating right and exercising. I have 2 coworkers that have had the band before me, and out of the 3 of us, I'm the only one having success with it (they are some of the few I have told about my surgery). They are always asking me what I'm doing that's so different from them, and my answer is I'm eating right. They, and they say it themselves, are not eating right...they're both struggling to get on track. Just 2 days ago, i watched one of them sit with a bag of chips and dip for their lunch break, then have a cinnamon roll for Breakfast (we work 3rd shift). So, while the band may help with portion sizes, if you're filling your body with crappy foods, the band is really nothing. It only works if you do your part, much like any other weightloss tool.

I also have to say, i'm not ashamed of my surgery! And i HAVE and am willing to share my story with anyone I feel would benefit. I just don't think I have to announce it to every single person I see. I want my hard work to be reflected on ME, and not the little piece of plastic i have placed around my stomach!

[fee139 63]

I am about to be banded in 3 weeks and I have had very mixed emotions on this subject. I have told my closest friends and my family and just a few of my coworkers. I am not ashamed of having the lapband surgery but I simply don't want to invite others to scrutinize me all the time. Maybe later after I have lost a good bit of weight, I will share with others but again I may not. I just kinda think like this.......if I were having a hemmorhoidectomy I wouldn't be sharing with others, because it's simply none of their business.

I believe that later, I will tell others, but this is MY decision and I simply do not want to hear anyone's negative opinions about a decision that was very personal for myself. The ones I have told have been very supportive, but I knew they would be and that's why I shared with them. I haven't been lying though, just consider it a bit of a loophole, I simply tell them that I am having outpatient surgery to have a hiatal hernia repair which is the truth.

Every person is different and I think it just has to be whatever you are comfortable with, plain and simple.....to each their own.

[TheDuchess 106]

I'm fearless. I tell anyone/everyone. My case is somewhat different though. I've lost a good amount on my on prior to the band, and I feel confident about my decision enough to share it with the world be there the chance that they will know someone who is in a situation similar to mine and they could possibly encourage them to take a step in a life-saving/life-altering decision.

It's none of my business if other people have gotten the surgery, or told people. I would like to say that it doesn't bother me that people lie/omit information on having the WLS, but it somewhat does, I don't like feeling as though someone thinks I'm stupid (a lot of people it easy to tell they've had it), and I definitely do not like to be lied to. I think we should be a proud people, but everyone handles their situations differently, and their story isn't about me.

[dawalsh 919]

The fact that I have not shown a drastic weight loss I feel that it is not necessary for everyone to know about my banding. Only my immediate family and my PCP and his staff know about it. Of course my PCP expected to have lost all my weight by now but I'm a slow loser always have been. Therefore, I don't feel it's necessary to tell everyone.

[LeeB1946 261]

I told the world. So far the world has not said much. Had a few negative remarks, but they can kiss my lap band!

[n2win 123]

No shame in getting the LB ...with that said: I agree with hazelsbliss!!!!

This is personal; being morbidly obese was my own personal hell and turning it all around is my own personal victory!

The band is a tool but no doubt I'm busting my Buns to accomplish my goal!

It's just like my mom always taught us about religion: not everyone believes in Jesus or has made Him their personal Lord & Savior, BUT its their choice and no one has a right to judge or persecute them; whether agnostic nor different denomination let them be!

I do not feel like I need to be a walking billboard for wls and I relish this being a personal/private journey. But I greatly admire and respect those who feel/desire the need to be an open book and share their story with others....if I should ever feel a change of heart about my own experience, no doubt I will share openly.

[lellow 1,713]

I don't expect everyone to feel the same way as I do about this, so of course I accept that there will be those who don't want to say anything, and those who do, but I decided to tell everyone. And the reasons were

1) I wanted to be accountable. If I failed on the band, and everyone knew I had one, I only had myself to blame.

2) I didn't want anyone who was overweight to think that I 'miraculously' lost the weight and kept it off for years all on my own, because it would have made ME feel like a complete failure with no willpower if I were them

3) I wanted to show them that when you have a problem, you do what you need to in order to fix it. There is no shame in that.

I've never regretted telling everyone. I think I represent a good outcome as a lapband patient, and if that helps someone else make the decision to change their lives, I'm proud of that.

[Shazam 517]

MandaMom pretty much summed it up perfectly for me. Only my family and a very select few. And I regret telling the select few. One was banded, and when she hit goal, she went out of control. She has attempted to sabotage me with high calorie drinks and makes snide remarks about "I hit goal and I can have this now". When really she can't. Then she complains she's gained. I dislike her so much now, and feel shed spill the Beans on my WLS. It also doesn't help that I have hit a plateau. I'm stuck and frustrated. But I'm doing things to loose more. So, for me to tell anyone else, that would be a no. Another person I told was my boss. She is a tiny little thing, and clearly doesn't understand. In fact, she denied my time off. It went to her boss and he approved it. I have my regrets telling people outside my family at home. People are too cruel, I'm fighting my demons now, I don't need others to give me crap while I go through this process.

[Chai_2.0 3]

In the short 4 days since my WLS, I've had no desire to share my news other than with immediate family. Everyone has their own issues, ie, being in therapy, alcohol/drug/food dependencies etc. that they don't share. I've basically told a few folks that I had hernia surgery. Similar pain and recovery time.

[feelinggood 152]

Looks like we are pretty split on telling or not telling. I am one that tells. Pre-band it was just my ex-h, sister, dad, son, and friend from work. Then my sister told my mom who was hurt that I didn't tell her and the only reason I didn't tell her was because she is a know-it-all and would have tried to take over every aspect of research, doctor selection, etc. Then my other sister came in town and my dad told her she then in turn told the aunts and cousins. She is quite the gossip and had everyone talking behind my back, which I ignored. The same sister is the competitive type and decided to go on a diet the same day as my banding and thinks she is in some kind of race with me but she has unfortunately turned to bulimia as her tool just to keep up with me - very sad! Anyway I digress... My workplace all knows now as since I have dropped the weight they compliment and I always tell them about the lapband. There were a couple people who were very concerned because they thought I had some type of illness and were relieved to know the truth. They are the greatest supportive group I could ever ask for. Aside from that, my dad is the weight police and says pretty stupid things sometimes but I realize he means well but he really doesn't like fat people in general. I don't even know where I was going with all this, lol. Just my input on to tell or not to tell. Cheers!

[LI Lady 64]

I am just starting this journey and I have told 5 people. My plan is to tell people right before or right after I go in for the surgery. I have lost and gained weight so many times in my life that while I am on the supervised diet nobody will even think twice. Once I have to take off work for surgery, then I will tell. Of course, it is quite possible I will change my mind between now and then, but I am proud of myself for admitting that I need help to lose the weight and I shouldn't be embarrassed about that.

[Daddyof4 95]

I I am proud of myself for admitting that I need help to lose the weight and I shouldn't be embarrassed about that.

I have not seen this here before and it really struck a nerve in me. If I could have done it myself I would have (like mostly everyone else here). I needed help of some kind and the lapband is just the ticket! LILady, welcome to this adventure.

Back on topic - I told everyone and have gotten no negative responses at all. People might be talking behind my back but I don't know about it so don't care. My mom can't help herself sometimes and occasionally asks if I should be eating that but she's MUCH better about it now that I've lost some weight.

[meganb0216 23]

I have told anyone who asks.....I am not ashamed or embarrassed to say I needed help with weight loss...I am living proof that lapband works and I am truly grateful that someone I know had it done and told me about it .....I hope maybe I am that person to someone else who is in the same position I was in 1 year ago....just want to pay it forward .........