Have major regrets? I do

[ljones4521 4]

I remember posting a few months ago about starvation mode. I was truly in starvation mode because I wasn't getting enough calories! Imagine that. Here I am obese and I wasn't taking in enough calories. At any rate I think I upped my calories to about 1100 and I have been fine since then. My weight loss is slow but I am losing now. I have lost 24lbs so far. I feel completely normal, I like the size of my plate, I am somehwhat (not today) pleased with my food choices and I am learning everyday.

Maybe it's the diet. This can be tricky for us to figure out.

[S@ssen@ch 745]

Hi Leatha, I am sorry. I just am not buying into this.

I have been eating right. No carbs, no sugar, Water Water water and more water. I am focusing on Protein, and can't stand the thought of more chicken or tuna.

I have been doing everything I am supposed to be doing.

I can not do this another three months or MORE - until the restriction is figured out.

Mentally I am not strong enough.

Eating is such a chore, and mental battle within myself, it is just not worth it all.

I am going out of my mind. When do I find some peace, and will I ever be normal again?

Mel,

I'm just a little worried about ya. What did you expect? Did you expect the band to do it all? Surely you knew it was "just a tool" and that you'd have to put some effort into it. Basically, the band only restricts the amount you put in and encourages you to make healthy decisions. Still, the stuff you put in there, is TOTALLY up to you.

I don't think this has anything to do with restriction or not at this point. It sounds to me like you're really hungry. From previous posts, it doesn't sound like you're getting enough calories in. If you don't, your body goes into starvation mode and holds onto everything you put into it for dear life. It's even possible to gain a little in the process. So, your dietician telling you to eat more isn't way off. You may need to eat more, but more food that is also healthy. No one's asking you to live on tuna and chicken. Lean beef is O.K., too. Pork is the "other" white meat. Come on, be reasonable.

You're entitled to your regrets here, but are you being honest with yourself about doing what's right? Yes, low carb, low fat, low cal, etc is recommended and it sounds like you're well-hydrated but use some sense about making sure you get enough nutritionally. That could be the reason you're constipated, gaining weight, even irritable. I would highly recommend logging your intake. It doesn't have to be public, as someone else recommended. Do a private log, but one that keeps track of how much Protein, carbs, Vitamins and minerals you are getting, including calories. I was told to have a goal of 1200. Sometimes I go over, sometimes I'm under. I figure it balances out.

Another thought here and I hope I don't offend..........but, maybe you should consider counseling. Weight loss and weight loss surgery can be a stressful event in a person's life. If you don't have someone to help and support you through the tough times, to help you see reality for what it is.......then we seem to go into panic modes, depressed modes, anxiety modes. Well, you get the picture.

I wish you well and hope that you find what it is you're looking for.

[maryb 1]

Yoda is right! I didn't feel "normal" again until my 5th week Post OP.

I still don't know what to do with myself, because I am not entertaining myself with food anymore. Anyone else feel this way? I cringe at the thought of eating out somewhere that might not have anything I can easily eat, or God forbid I would have a PB and not make it to the restroom. My entire day use to be planned around my ladies lunch out with a friend. Now I am a hermit and a really cheap date for my husband.

Sorry MelAnne, I got distracted with my selfishness again.

[ljones4521 4]

I second the advice to get counseling. It sounds as if the mental state of the poster is questionable. Depression/frustration can be dangerous for some.

[the best me 6]

I second the advice to get counseling. It sounds as if the mental state of the poster is questionable. Depression/frustration can be dangerous for some.

Nah, she just needs to eat. That's my take, but this online and I can't say for sure.

How ya doin' MelAnne? This thread is hoppin' tonight! Drink a milkshake and check in...(((hugs)))

[ljones4521 4]

the best me,

You could be right. Starvation can cause desperation and frustration.

[Jachut 487]

I was going to gently suggest that your mental state does not sound good. Nor do your expectations of what being banded would be like.

You're so newly banded! I was still on liquids at this stage, I cant believe you're on solid foods.

I would also never advise anyone to not follow what their doctor and nutritionist has told them. But holy cow you guys have some rules to follow! This Protein this, carbs that, count your calories here, watch your fat grams there, I had this band to get away from that crap and have found it totally and utterly not necessary for weight loss.

There's no secret to it MelAnne, eat less over a long period of time than what your body burns and you'll lose weight. It doesnt happen in 3 weeks. Your Fluid levels are ALL OVER the place in that time, you sound as if you're way undereating anyway and will send yourself nuts and make yourself ill doing that, you need to take a deep breath and relax, and just give it time to work.

[vinesqueen 2]

Hi MelAnne, I'm so very sorry you are struggling so.

Sweetheart, you are only 3 weeks out, and your body is still in the WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO ME phase. I think just about everyone goes through this.

But you said you were gaining weight. Okay, was this gain when you moved from liquids? It is so very frustrating for this weight gain, but it isn't really, it is a matter of your colon now having matter in it, where it was empty before. I believe it was Capt'n Jack who said that the colon can hold up to 15 pounds of matter.

Now, you are absolutely right, the band does not work for everyone. The band does not work for me, but I have other things going on. If you are continuing to gain weight even after you have had your prper fill, you will want to talk to you doctor about this. Do not let them push you off, because weight gain on little calories can be a symptom of a very serious condition.

Getting filled is not a game, a lot of people get good restriction with their first fill. But the band does not work without a fill. It isn't designed to work without one. Any weight loss before your first fill is BONUS.

Please don't be so hard on yourself.

[Boo 3]

I am soooo sorry you are discouraged! It happens to all of us at some time. Please don't be so hard on yourself. We all submitted ourselves to this surgery because we felt there was no other hope. We all understand failure and the fear of failure. My biggest fear about the band was that I would FAIL AGAIN!

So I understand your skepticism! After the initial first week post-op, I haven't really lost. I'm trying to be patient through the growling stomach aches and through reading posts of "25 pounds lost in two weeks!!" I figure I'm a turtle, too. Slow and steady wins the race!

1. Is it possible that you are retaining Water? I get puffy and gain weight after every surgery from the IV and shock. And I think our bodies (obese) react to stress by shutting down and holding onto every bit of fuel possible. You've just been through alot!

2. Also, you are CONSTIPATED! Of course you won't lose! You need to get things moving.

3. Don't take diet pills. Isn't that partly why we did this? So we don't have to take pills?

4. Please be patient with your body and praise yourself for the good things you are doing! You have stayed with the Protein diet, you are drinking Water, etc. Be proud of those accomplishments. The numbers on the scale will move. They have to.

If anyone knows about being patient it has got to be VINES!! She is so understanding and has dealt with so much. Read her posts!

Hang on! Things will get better!

[Alexandra 55]

MelAnne, I just want to echo what everyone else has said, and reassure you that you what you're thinking is something almost all of us go through as new bandsters, at least temporarily. Banding is a big step and it IS frustrating if we expect to see changes overnight. That's why it's SO IMPORTANT to understand how it works and have realistic expectations.

Let's make a deal. Come back in 6 months and read this thread and let us know how you're feeling then. I'm willing to bet that you will look back and marvel, because all of these feelings will have passed by the wayside.

The worst part of banding is the pre-fill stage, that's a common refrain. You're just confirming that once again. Please, please, please be good to yourself and do what you can to not get too hungry. It really does make a difference!!

[MeganA 35]

Having weightloss surgery sure does shake a person's emotional and mental stability, doesn't it? You're not alone. This is a tought road. But it's way too early to regret something that isn't even working yet.

I have two suggestions:

1. Eat.

2. Get some mental health help to manage your expectations.

My favorite quote is "Expectation is the greatest source of suffering". Why suffer? Unless that's just what you're used to doing to yourself.

Megan

[CCBSTX 0]

It's going to be OK.

Up your calories to feel better and quite starving. (It's wonderful that you keep a food diary).

Keep coming here and gather support (or anywhere else you can get it).

Take a deep breathe, it takes time!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shawn

[Angie C 0]

Melanne

First, I am sorry your doctor did not do his job informing you of what to expect.

Second, You are not eating right. You are eating only 400 calories aday. You should be eating 1000-1200 calories aday as you progress. Your first 6 weeks is strickly for healing not losing. After you get a fill or more depending on your body, the weight loss will come. There is alot of help out there. See if your doctor has a support group and if so go, go, go. There are support groups out there, you just need to find one.

Third, Having this attitude only a few weeks after surgery, you may need to get some professional help.

3-15-04

-110lbs goal without dieting

[Marimaru 7]

Well, I agree with folks that you need to eat more. Ask your nutritionist how much she/he thinks you should be eating, and follow that for a while and see what happens.

Other than that, I just wanted to say that I've been through the depression, and for me it did pass. I'm sure that you will feel better, but in the meantime, you should make sure your doctor knows how you feel. If the band isn't what you thought it would be, he needs to know that he didn't educate you correctly and that he needs to do that with future patients.

*hugs*

[legallyKristin 0]

Ok, I have generalized anxiety disorder. I went through the exact stuff that you're going through. There were SOOO many new rules to follow and I was having to make major changes. So I freaked out. I like order and routine and schedule. I talked to my psychologist weekly about it and changed my anxiety medication. It worked.

I gained weight also about 3 weeks out also. I was miserable, I didn't feel my band working and that I had spent $11,000 for nothing. BE Optimistic. I promise once you start getting fills, it will all change and things will fall into place.

After I got my first fill, I lost 6 lb in that next week and the scale has continued to drop. You just have to be patient and optimistic. If you get stressed/depressed you will gain more weight. Our bodies don't deal with stress well.

:Banane13: Kristin