seismic shift

[gowalking 10,790]

Sorry for the length of this post but this is really important for me. I don't want to say this is a NSV because it's more like a seismic shift in my perception and the reality of my new body. I was on the train last night heading home from work. Across from me was a rather large woman. There was an empty seat next to her..or should I say an empty 2/3rds of a seat. No one was in it for obvious reasons and I remember well no one sitting next to me either when I was much heavier.

Well, a young man who looked like he probably played football for his high school team sat next to her and was sitting on the edge of the seat as he could not fit comfortably into it. I thought about it for a moment (would he be able to sit next to me any more comfortably?) and decided to give it a shot so I moved my workbag which was on the seat next to me and made a small motion to him to change seats. I tried to be very subtle about it as I did not want to make the woman feel bad but I truly felt for the young man.

Well, he saw me move my bag and switched seats. He slipped into the seat with no issues and while we were close, no one was squeezing into the seat like he was doing next to the other lady. For me, this was a huge change in my thinking. First off, I got that someone could sit next to me comfortably, and second, it was confirmed as the young man didn't hesitate to move so it was pretty clear that he also felt that he could sit next to me comfortably.

Now understand, this is not a knock against the other woman, this is about me...and seeing more and more how while I am still overweight, I'm slipping into normalcy in terms of how I see myself, and how others see me as well. I'm really starting to see myself as not the morbidly obese person I was before starting this journey. What a sense of discovery and wonder this is for me. It's so worth it and every time I think how much I want to eat something that has too many or empty calories, I think about what feels better...these types of observations, or a full belly. I think you all know what feels better to me.

[GoingforGoal 1,734]

Hello,

This is absolutely a relevant subject. I am not certain if this plays out more for people who have been overweight all their lives vs not, but having never been thin one must learn what it feels like to be thin. I have had similar experiences (sitting in the middle seat on a plane, riding the roller coaster, squeezing through tight arrangements in a restaurant, sitting on laps etc). These are things you hesitate to do, if not completely avoid, when you are overweight. There's nothing worse than negative feedback (ie getting stuck, creeping onto other people's space, getting a negative reaction as to how much you weigh etc). When you lose significant weight and reach goal you continually experience these reality checks that people perceive you differently and that you are rid of those physical obstacles you once endured. It's pretty amazing because these are the moments your confidence grows bit by bit and slowly but surely you no longer question whether you are thin, you know it.

Of course with that being said, I still struggle with weight issues mostly because of the lose skin I have. There are days I feel my best as if I'm a size zero and other days I feel 50 lbs overweight lol. But I recognize I am now dealing with some internal demons. But these experiences bring balance to my negative talk and overall I just feel great!

Thanks for sharing your story, and yes, feeling your best is far better than a full belly

[Terry Poperszky 2,784]

Well, a young man who looked like he probably played football for his high school team

Face it Go, you were just happy to have that hot, young athlete sitting next to you! <HUMOR>

I understand what you mean, I recently flew for the first time since surgery and it was really nice to not fill the seat.

[Debbie3sons 1,936]

I remember how I felt before surgery, now that we all have began our journey and I am down 73 lbs then I look at people and want to say yes it was my choice to be banded and I have over came a lot of health issues for the better , when I see a person who says their on a diet or their taking diet pills and I hear and see it a lot as I work in the food industry it does bother me but again I did it for me , not for y family , friends or boyfriend or anyone but me so I kind of know what you mean also I can acutually fit in a booth instead of asking for a table at a resturauant not worrying if I am going to be able to fit, so u see your post hit me, thankyou.

[GuyMontag 1,264]

I do feel bad for the woman. I remember when I was still 325lbs and we would go and visit my kids' classroom for parent/teacher conferences and I would have to sit with my legs under me supporting all of my weight for fear or actually sitting on one of the kids chairs all the way and crushing the dang thing. I was so embarrassed yet I couldn't really say anything about it. I'm glad you're no longer like that and I too am thankful that I can live a more 'normal' life.

[gowalking 10,790]

Face it Go, you were just happy to have that hot, young athlete sitting next to you! <HUMOR>

I understand what you mean, I recently flew for the first time since surgery and it was really nice to not fill the seat.

LOL Terry! What I was getting at was that this kid was no slender running back...he was defense for sure...a big kid...and still I thought he might be OK sitting next to me.