Need some advice, please no negeativity!

[chasingadream 1,311]

Hi, I am schedule for lapband with plication surgery on 9/19 and I totally understand the whole 2nd thought and backing out....I almost did because of some very negative posts here....so,

I made a list of ALL of my questions from what I read here as well as my own questions from researching it myself and I took my husband and MADE AN APPOINTMENT WITH MY SURGEON. He answered all of my questions, crazy or not, and helped both myself and my husband understand EVERYTHING.

You must, must, MUST trust your surgeon and in the end you MUST trust yourself.

I also have 2 small children, as you can see from my profile pic, and I would NEVER EVER do anything to jeopardize their mommy not being here...but if I dont do something about my weight AND get healthy I really wont be here for them in the very near future anyway.

Am I scared, YUP.

Do I worry, YUP.

Could there be complications, YUP

Could everything go without a hitch, YUP

Can I continue on the path I am, NOPE!

I am lucky to have my husband 150% behind me and a surgeon with an excellent reputation and a complete aftercare program in place at his office. I am in good hands and I WANT this and am willing to WORK....so in my mind....I will be a SUCCESS....

hope that helps in some way....

[B-52 7,113]

Having weighed all the risks, I felt it was worth it to have a normal, healthy life once again...something I could never do on my own, and something that was beyond my wildest dreams...and NOW I HAVE IT!

So who cares if it is the easy, lazy way out, what does that matter?

You can walk everywhere, but it's easier and the lazy way to drive your car....I never understood that argument, as though just because it's easy it cannot be any good? HOGWASH!...

....it worked for me, and that's all that I care about.......Was it easy? Eventually, after everything got adjusted right.....easy is Good! Easier than any diet I ever tried and failed at, that's for sure.

I have a fried who is that type of critic...and every time I see her, she just keeps getting bigger and bigger....amd I keep getting smaller and smaller.....

[skb123 308]

Someone please help me I am scheduled to have surgery September 16 tomorrow I go for my last nutrition class and then everything will get submitted to the insurance company for approval except all of a sudden now I think I'm having some second thoughtsor cold feet I have been waiting for the surgery for the past five months now my husband is telling me I don't even want you to get the surgery I keep hearing all these complications that I'm really trying not to pay attention to so many people are telling me that I am taking the lazy way out I am 26 years old I have two beautiful children and I weigh 258 pounds at 5 foot three although I do carry my weight very well the worst part of me I feel is my stomach I wish I could post some pictures of me where people could see and actually tell me the truth about myself I really don't know what to do everybody keep saying you don't have that much weight to lose you can do it yourself and everyone also says that I am being lazy and taking the easy way out my husband says do you realize anything can happen you could die from the surgery I said it's major surgery anything can happen but I don't want to live this way and I know that it's him being truly concernd out why now why now I'm so closeI'm starting to think am I really being lazy can I take off 80 pounds by myself I'm seriously having inner turmoil over that and I just need some real answers or suggestions or comments I don't need anything negative I just want to hear from outsiders point of view thank you so muche

I went through the same sort of things only with my daughters. I got very cold feet about 10 days before my surgery. But I pushed through. I have to say all is well! I did lose 176 pounds prior to surgery. But felt this would be the tool that takes me to my goal. It wo. uld be hard if I had a husband not supporting me, I was widowed nearly 3 years ago, his problems were all weight related. At 58 I have too much to live for. I have a very supportive guy friend who is my best friend and he supported me all the way though, thank the good Lord for that! In the end it's really up to you, and you need to tell your hubby you just need his love and support. That's what I told my daughters. Best wishes to you no matter what direction you take.

[dylanmiles23 2,198]

Hi, I am schedule for lapband with plication surgery on 9/19 and I totally understand the whole 2nd thought and backing out....I almost did because of some very negative posts here....so,

I made a list of ALL of my questions from what I read here as well as my own questions from researching it myself and I took my husband and MADE AN APPOINTMENT WITH MY SURGEON. He answered all of my questions, crazy or not, and helped both myself and my husband understand EVERYTHING.

You must, must, MUST trust your surgeon and in the end you MUST trust yourself.

I also have 2 small children, as you can see from my profile pic, and I would NEVER EVER do anything to jeopardize their mommy not being here...but if I dont do something about my weight AND get healthy I really wont be here for them in the very near future anyway.

Am I scared, YUP.

Do I worry, YUP.

Could there be complications, YUP

Could everything go without a hitch, YUP

Can I continue on the path I am, NOPE!

I am lucky to have my husband 150% behind me and a surgeon with an excellent reputation and a complete aftercare program in place at his office. I am in good hands and I WANT this and am willing to WORK....so in my mind....I will be a SUCCESS....

hope that helps in some way....

Wonderful answer! Good luck with your up coming banding. I am not sorry at all and hope you won't be either.

​Having more energy for yourself and your cute looking children will be worth it. Also, having a very supportive husband says it all. I have one.

[GuyMontag 1,264]

I was able to diet before but I always gained it back. It wasn't until I lost weight using a tool like the lap band that I truly understood how much better life could be without yo-yo dieting. Even if I go through bad periods of weight loss it's only 5lbs as opposed to 50 like it used to be. People that are not significantly overweight cannot understand the burden and challenge it is to lose weight or even stop from gaining. It's really beyond us and that's where a tool like the lap band comes in. It may not do 100% of the work for us but even 50% or more makes it worth it and effective. Good luck!

[kaptex 0]

The same thing happened to me. I got a case of cold feet but I had spent an entire year getting all the information I could from my doctor, the library, and online. I even had strangers telling me I shouldn't do it because they did it but failed...come to find out during the conversation they did not follow the guidelines...or they had some complication...which does happen but can usually be repaired...and had the band taken out.

I am 52 and had tried for 25 years to lose(about your age now is where I started)...which I did but would usually gain it back plus some. I gained myself all the way to 479 lbs!! I lost 180 by riding a stationary bike 3 to 5 times a week for 30 to 45 minutes, I got a part time job at a plus size clothing store which meant a little more physical labor, and doing low carb. Then I hurt my back, had to have back surgery, developed arthritis in my back and both hips, 2 slipping discs in lower back and 2 in neck, and bursitis in both hips. Exercising they way I used to went out the window and I gained 70 lbs back.

I had my surgery December 14th and am now down 72 lbs. I am soooooo very happy I didn't listen to the nay sayers! This is the first time I have tried to do a lifestyle change and not felt like I was starving but is it the easy way out? Some may think so but I don't. Easier maybe but I still have to do the work...the band only helps. As you'll hear over and over on this forum...and rightly so...lol...the band is just a tool. I hope I can get to a point where I am not hungry most of the time like some of the others...I am still not quite in the green zone...one or two more small fills should do it...but look what I've done so far and not even in the green zone.

Bottom line is you will hear lots if things from lots of people who are not in your shoes. You are ultimately the one who has to be comfortable with your decision. If you feel you have done the research, have the information, and are well aware of the pros and cons and you feel in your heart as I did that this is what you want and/or need to do then tune the others out. Do this or not for yourself first. Bring hubby to your surgeon who can address his concerns but let him know if you decide to go forward you need his 100% support. Tell the others to support you or put a lid on it. ;-}

If I had it to do over I would run to the surgery as fast as I could and never look back and I would have done it a long time ago! ;-} Don't wait 25 years to find out you should have done it sooner!

[lellow 1,713]

It's actually good that you're reading about the complications. You need to be informed of all the risks. Then you weigh it up with the possible benefits (and there are many as well), and decide what's best for you. Not everyone around you, not your husband, but you.

I got the 'you don't look big enough to have something as drastic as wls'. I was 5'4" and around 215 -225lbs at the time. People get used to seeing you a certain way and can't imagine you any other way. Now I've lost all the excess weight an kept it off for 5 years, those same people look at pictures of me when I was heavy and say 'I don't remember you being that big'. Really? Coz the pictures don't lie!

Losing with the band isn't easy. It's easier. But if you're in pain wouldn't you take painkillers? If you twisted your ankle wouldn't you bandage it? If you need help, you need help. I'm not ashamed to say my band helped me achieve my goals. I'd be sillier not to use any help I could get.

Good luck. Do this for you if that's what you want to do. Go in well informed and ready to take this on. And ignore those who are not invested in your choice. Because only you will be invested in you.

[JHoldbrooks 1]

This surgery is a tool and it is definitely not the lazy way. :-) It is hard and a life change. It is important to be sure. I had the surgery August 23rd, 2013. I did it for myself. I need more energy and I want to be around a long time for my kids and my husband. This is a huge decision and it is a positive one. :-) Good Luck in making your decision.

[HotButterFly 981]

Take hubby to your next appointment with the surgeon. If anything, HIS (hubby's) is the only opinion that carries some weight, everyone else can SUCK it! They have no idea what it's like to live as a BANDit, it's NOT the lazy, easy way out!! If you need more time to lean more about life post op, then by all means, take your time. Just remember, we will be here to help you through it if you decide to go ahead and do it.

Ps. That is one of the reasons I chose NOT to tell

friends/family about my surgery

[healthydnp 96]

I don't know anyone that didn't have second thoughts. I had second thoughts right before they wheeled me back for surgery. I had coworkers tell me I didn't need the surgery and I looked fine but I didn't feel fine. That was the biggest thing. I am 36 and was starting to have health problems. I knew I couldn't go on like this. I needed energy and needed to ward off the impending health issues. You need to do what is best for you. Can there be complications? Yes. Could I die from the weight and have a poor quality life? Yes.

[trestumpf 8]

You have to do it for YOU. I along with everyone on here have had those thoughts. Should I spend the money? If I stop eating???? Along with the fat jokes you make about yourself so no one else had the chance. My final straw was an airplane. If your husband doesn't support you we will. All of us on here have been in your shoes, we know. Don't let the what ifs stop you think of the can waits. Good luck

[ladybanded 50]

I will say that having this surgery is most definitely NOT a easy/lazy way out. TRUST ME. Its a tool to help us. I haven't had any bad experiences with the band, if anything I am my own worse enemy Meaning, YOU control what YOU put into your body, the band will help you with the rest. Im currently starting over due to not making the right choice about food. Until anyone walks in your shoes, don't listen, YOU do what YOU feel is right for you and your health. You can do this and Congrats and Many Blessings. This site is awesome with awesome people to help.

[ladybanded 50]

Take hubby to your next appointment with the surgeon. If anything, HIS (hubby's) is the only opinion that carries some weight, everyone else can SUCK it! They have no idea what it's like to live as a BANDit, it's NOT the lazy, easy way out!! If you need more time to lean more about life post op, then by all means, take your time. Just remember, we will be here to help you through it if you decide to go ahead and do it.

Ps. That is one of the reasons I chose NOT to tell

friends/family about my surgery

I didn't tell anyone either, just my mother. People are to judgmental and I don't care for peoples opinions about what I do with my body and life. We will never know anyones struggles.