Need some advice, please no negeativity!

[betchaican 14]

Someone please help me I am scheduled to have surgery September 16 tomorrow I go for my last nutrition class and then everything will get submitted to the insurance company for approval except all of a sudden now I think I'm having some second thoughtsor cold feet I have been waiting for the surgery for the past five months now my husband is telling me I don't even want you to get the surgery I keep hearing all these complications that I'm really trying not to pay attention to so many people are telling me that I am taking the lazy way out I am 26 years old I have two beautiful children and I weigh 258 pounds at 5 foot three although I do carry my weight very well the worst part of me I feel is my stomach I wish I could post some pictures of me where people could see and actually tell me the truth about myself I really don't know what to do everybody keep saying you don't have that much weight to lose you can do it yourself and everyone also says that I am being lazy and taking the easy way out my husband says do you realize anything can happen you could die from the surgery I said it's major surgery anything can happen but I don't want to live this way and I know that it's him being truly concernd out why now why now I'm so closeI'm starting to think am I really being lazy can I take off 80 pounds by myself I'm seriously having inner turmoil over that and I just need some real answers or suggestions or comments I don't need anything negative I just want to hear from outsiders point of view thank you so much

[readysetg070113 1,476]

I felt the same way . I got banded on 7/1/13 and I was nervous all the way up to the surgery. U thought long and hard. Even said I can drop these 100 lbs without the surgery if I just tried harder. I have been trying fir the past 28 years and it never worked:/. I had the band mainly cause it is reversible if god forbid something bad happened. I follow my drs guidelines and listen very careful to his suggestions. Being 100 l s overweight I'm at risk for heart attack and other disease so I decided I'm going to get the band worried about its complications yet this weight is a ticking time bomb so that's how I decided. I don't have children I'm

38years old so ill just wait till I'm 42 to get my Tummy Tuck if no children by then lol. This site is awesome for encouragement I read post everyday. 1 month post up down 30 Lbs and feeling great so far so good!!! Only you can decide try a pro/cons list and see if that helps. Good luck on ur decision

[Ivy Verde 68]

What do you consider, "negative?" You've asked for "outsider's points of view" but do you only want to be told to GO FOR IT? If I say anything besides, "Go for it," is that considered "negative?" My intention is to help you, so if what I say is perceived as "negative," I apologize in advance. I'm a truthful person and say what I mean.

I don't think having surgery is the lazy way or the easy way out. It's not true. It's very difficult.

I also don't think that the lap band is the solution for long term good health and I wouldn't recommend it. (My opinion, having gone through some pretty bad stuff with the band.)

You need to do some serious soul searching before undergoing surgery. If you're feeling unease and are less than sure about your decision, postpone your surgery date. Read and research everything--- good and bad. It's imperative that you are prepared for as much as you can be prepared for. There's no way to prepare yourself for every change. It's just not possible because there are too many variables. But make sure you know what you're getting yourself into (as much as any of us can.)

Best of luck to you. I hope the turmoil subsides and you're able to have peace.

[readysetg070113 1,476]

As far as people saying you can lose it by yourself well I say if I could of I would of I needed help n that's why I chose this tool n trust me its crazy how I'm ok with 1 yogurt fir Breakfast or feel satisfied after 4 oz of Protein it has changed my life . I don't obsess over when is my next meal I eat when hungry n make good choices its kinda odd but in a good way ..

[Carol.mcpherson 25]

Very normal to have second thoughts! But this surgery is NOT the lazy way out!! I wish I had done mine sooner as it has given me the confidence to know I will succeed this time! I'm 47 and spent way too many years battling my weight!! But at the end of the day you have to decide what is best for YOU!! This forum is a great support and you will not be alone! But this does take a serious commitment and having the support of my family has seriously helped. Show hubby this site and let him see what to expect! Good luck and we are here if you need us!

[PrettyThick1 1,860]

Someone please help me I am scheduled to have surgery September 16 tomorrow I go for my last nutrition class and then everything will get submitted to the insurance company for approval except all of a sudden now I think I'm having some second thoughtsor cold feet I have been waiting for the surgery for the past five months now my husband is telling me I don't even want you to get the surgery I keep hearing all these complications that I'm really trying not to pay attention to so many people are telling me that I am taking the lazy way out I am 26 years old I have two beautiful children and I weigh 258 pounds at 5 foot three although I do carry my weight very well the worst part of me I feel is my stomach I wish I could post some pictures of me where people could see and actually tell me the truth about myself I really don't know what to do everybody keep saying you don't have that much weight to lose you can do it yourself and everyone also says that I am being lazy and taking the easy way out my husband says do you realize anything can happen you could die from the surgery I said it's major surgery anything can happen but I don't want to live this way and I know that it's him being truly concernd out why now why now I'm so closeI'm starting to think am I really being lazy can I take off 80 pounds by myself I'm seriously having inner turmoil over that and I just need some real answers or suggestions or comments I don't need anything negative I just want to hear from outsiders point of view thank you so much

We ALL had those feelings and that type of feedback from the people we love and trust the most. I put all of that out of mind and went with the surgery and oh my goodness, I am so happy that I went through with it...just like 99% of the people on this forum. If this helps at all, my tummy was the first thing to flatten and if that's your problem area - chances are that will be the first place you lose the weight, too. You are not taking the easy way out, by any means. Yes, you have to do your part but the band helps you significantly to change the bad habits that have you where you are today. If you do nothing, you run the risk of serious health complications - it's not just about looking good or being able to carry the weight well. Your internal organs and vitals don't know what you look like, all they know is that the fat you are carrying is wearing them out and one day they might decide they've had enough of your good looking b.s. and start wrecking your life. Trust me...I was one of those "carrying it well but sick on the inside" kind of folks. When I found out I was diabetic and my blood pressure was doing crazy stuff in February and I had to make some hard choices: keep yo-yo dieting and playing with my health or do something permanent to get it back in line so I could be here for my daughter.

The choice is yours, but you have come so far it would be ashame for you to turn around now - only to regret not going through with it a year from now, when you could be those 80lbs. lighter you're dreaming of now.

Good luck, we are here to support you...but I'd say go for it, don't look back and enjoy the process/progress!

[betchaican 14]

I already know what I want and I really want to have surgery. I do feel that IM a big girl although when I look in the mirror I'm not really disgusted with myself because like I said I carry my weight ok but also at this point i cant even imagine myself thin cause ive been this way for so long I'm very well proportioned but right now I'm wearing a size 18 I want to be able to walk in the store and pick up a size 9 and put it on them feel good and I just don't think that I can do that on my own no matter how many times I got up and went to gym the matter how I do and research and calorie counting and then you have my "" female friends who say you don't really need to lose weight just start eating healthier and work outand really that all sounds well and good but I'm not seeing results and I'm not seeing them fast enough and even if I did okay I fluctuate my weight 15 pounds take off 15 pounds 15 pounds back on get my"." And I feel bloated I feel disgusting I just can't take it anymore I guess I'm just thinking that I want my husband to be okay with it and he keeps telling me that I haven't tried hard enough for him to be okay with it and he says God for bid you develop any problems further down the line what will happen and tell him that's what the doctors are here for and I'm going to follow all the doctors rules and guidelines and kiss it up to God and hope for the best I don't know I mean I've always been 200 and now I am 258 actually seven years ago when my husband and I met I was like 185 and now my ideal weight would be 160-150 and we're still young I want to have fun with my kids I want to be up to runaround I want all that

[betchaican 14]

By negative I mean that for the people who have been unsuccessful with lap band surgery and give me every reason why I shouldn't get it because they have had a bad experience

[Sharpie 3,306]

everyone has second thoughts .. I should have had my surgery years ago.. I struggled with every diet gimmick out there.even did HCG (real) that is dangerous.. but I was desperate.. finally realized that the lapband was the answer for me.. I knew going in that there might be complications but weighed the pro's and cons.. and at 5'3 at your weight yes you are obese no matter how you carry it.. I am 5'0 and I weight 198 so I was considered obese.. There have been a few negative nellies on here and it's okay to see all sides but don't let someone else's bad experience keep you from doing what is best for you..ask lots of questions of your doctor.. make sure they have a good post op program and nutritionist.. stop reading the really negative posts.. I almost changed my mind too because of another group site that had super negative posts.. but I talked it over with my husband, primary care physician and bariatric surgeon all said go for it.. I am thrilled.. 50 lbs lighter I feel like a new woman ..Best of luck honey

[Jim1967 3,569]

I can and have dropped 170+ pounds on my own with no surgery. What I couldn't do was maintain and keep it off. So while your asking yourself all the questions about doing it ask yourself if you were able to do it can you keep it off?? Some can but most cannot. What the band has done for me is I can live my normal life without dieting and still have weight come off. You do have to make good choices and work with your band BUT I will tell you most times it is effortless.

It is also good to hear the good, bad and ugly that way you can assess for yourself. Some of that bad and ugly you may hear about is because the patient is non compliant. This is a life style change and you are not 100% committed then you need to step back and re-think your game plan.

As for the negative surrounding people you have in your life I will say this: This is your life and you only have one trip down the road of life. People can either get on board with you or they can step off.

Btw being nervous about surgery is normal. I had doubts from the time they wheeled me out of the staging room to the actual OR. 488lbs I was so nervous I wasn't going to survive the procedure. I made it a point to see friends and relatives and have that final "See ya soon" just in case.

Here and the now I would not change a thing. I have lost 219lbs (haven't updated my ticker yet) and have added years of travel back on the road of life. Whatever your decision is please please make it your own and do not do or not do it for someone else.

Best of Luck!!

[betchaican 14]

Thanks pretty thick you said it well I do need to put everybody else's opinions out of my mind and just do what I feel high blood pressure diabetes emphysema COPD that all runs in my family and the older generations I don't want to be prone to that because of being overweight I want to be healthy for me and my children and my husband I want to be around without any problems and I mean anything can happen at any time but if I can try to avoid it I am going to and as far as soul-searching goes I have been looking into this for the past two years Myette got the lap band six years ago she's not doing so well with it now she gained some weight back but that's her own fault because she didn't listen to the doctor I have been doing my homework and tons of research on this so it's not like I'm just go rushing into something because I think it's a quick answer to weight-loss surgery it's just people that are around me and I love the most think that I can do it without weight-loss surgery and I'm not one to mope around and say I can do it I can't do it I can do it but I really feel like this is something that I cannot do on my own I mean 30 pounds to take off by yourself I don't know let alone the hundred I want to take off and keep off to do that by myself I just don't think it's something that I could do and keep that off by myself

[stept04 465]

I was just wondering if anyone giving you advice has been through what your going through? Has anyone of them been over weight and lost it and kept it off for a significant amount of time? If not I don't think they have any idea what it is like to try and lose weight especially if you have a lot to lose. So when it come to their opinion on weight loss and taking the easy way out they don't have much to stand on. As far as the surgery that is up to you and no one can make that decision for you. Not even your husband or someone on here. You have to do what you feel is right for you. Just to let you know I had a lot of fears about having the surgery, but it was my last chance at trying to lose this weight, so I went through with it. It is normal to have fears and second thoughts. Just follow your heart. Good luck

~~~Stephanie

[dylanmiles23 2,198]

First congratulations for wanting to get healthier. Second, stop listening to everyone but yourself. Do what you want for yourself not what others tell you is wrong. I never knew about this site until after I had the band. I did almost zero research. My lung doctor made my appointment for the meeting to see if I qualified for the band and he told me you are getting this done. I never asked any other questions

People need to stop looking at all the things that can go wrong and see how their health can improve if they really want to be healthy.

I had a small mole removed, the doctor didn't like it's looks. Well this small dime size b***h turned into MRSA. There are pros and cons to everything. Driving a car, getting on a plane or watching the Boston Marathon from the finish line. (I live in Boston)

[BayougirlMrsS 3,934]

I don't think there is a soul on here that did doubt what they were about to do. Im pretty sure we all got cold feet at one time or another.

My husband didn't want me to have it done either. But he came around when i stood my ground. Get those Nay-Sayers out of your mind and follow your heart and put it up to God.

My only regret was not doing this sooner....

[Ivy Verde 68]

By negative I mean that for the people who have been unsuccessful with lap band surgery and give me every reason why I shouldn't get it because they have had a bad experience

Get the band. Go for it.