Happy NURSES Week

[Penni60 45]

Happy Nurses Week!!

To all of those that I am sending this to Happy Nurses week

YOU MAY BE A NURSE IF………

1. You believe that every patient needs TLC. Thorazine, lorazepam, and Compazine.

2. You would like to meet the inventor of the call light some night in a dark alley.

3. You believe not all patients are annoying, some are unconscious.

4. Your sense of humor gets more warped each year.

5. You know the phone number of every late night delivery place by heart.

6. You can only tell time by the 24 hr clock

7. Almost everything can seem humorous….eventually

8. When asked what color that patient's diarrhea was, you show them your shoes

9. You know the smell of different diarrhea to identify it.

10. Every time you walk you make a jingling noise because of all the scissors and clamps in your pocket.

11. You can tell the pharmacist more about the medication they are dispensing that they know.

12. You refuse to watch ER because it is too much like the real things, and it triggers flashbacks.

13. You check the caller ID on your day off to see if anyone from the hospital is trying to call and ask you to work.

14. You've been telling stories in a restaurant and made someone at another table throw up.

15. You notice that you are using more 4-letter words than you did before you started nursing.

16. Every time someone asks you for a pen you can find at least 4 of them on you.

17. You can intubate your friends at parties.

18. You don't get excited about blood unless it's your own.

19. You live by the motto "to be right is only half the battle , to convince the doctor is more difficult"

20. You've basted you thanksgiving turkey with a Toomey syringe.

21. You've told a confused patient that you name was that of you co-worker and to holler if they need help.

22. Eating microwave popcorn out of a clean bedpan is perfectly normal.

23. Your bladder can expand to the size of a Winnebago's Water tank.

24. When checking the level of a patient's orientation, you aren't sure of the answer.

25. You find yourself checking out other customers veins in the grocery waiting lines.

26. You can sleep soundly at the hospital cafeteria table on you dinner break and are not embarrassed when you wake up.

27. You avoid unhealthy looking shoppers in the mall for the fear that they will drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off.

28. You throw a party for a co-worker and use a urinal (clean of course) as a lemon-aid pitcher and use a bed sheet for a tablecloth.

29. You hate to get dressed in "real clothes" because scrubs are what you live in, and why can't they make jeans that comfortable

29. You often stay awake for 24+ hrs at a time when you work nights and realize you don't need alcohol or drugs to hallucinate, just lack of sleep.

30. You pull over in some parking lot after working nights because you are too tired to drive home and wake up to someone knocking on your window thinking you have had a stroke because you are passed out in you car and drooling.

31. You finger has gone places you never thought possible.

32. You've sworn to have "No Code" tattooed on your chest.

HAPPY NURSES WEEK

[StrawartS 2]

Penni, I love it! I just forwarded it to my mom, who is also an RN. Happy Nurses' Week! The world just wouldn't run without nurses - you are so appreciated.

[kim2bhealthy 3]

My two best friend are nurses! They are definietly under-appreciated and under-paid. I'll forward this on to them... Thanks Penni!

[Jessiebear 2]

Love it Penny! I plead guilty to all of the above at one time or another! LOL!! Happy nurses week everybody!!!!

[NurseTeresa 0]

OH MY HOW THAT IS SOOOOO TRUE. Can't wait to print that one out and take it to work with me in the morning. Have to sit in a classroom with a bunch of other nurses all day tomorrow. What fun that isn't when I am use to working nights and sleeping all day. Thanks for sharing. They were too funny and did ring a bell. You can always add this one if you like. 33.When you are all at the nurses station talking about PT for the patient that is a frequent flyer seeking drugs and PT isnt physical therapy as the bystander would think but it is pillow therapy!

HAPPY NURSES WEEK to all my fellow nurses!

[Jessiebear 2]

34. You use PIA to describe a pt. (pain in the ***)!