Mirror shock... the blinders are off!!!

[Amberley 97]

Ok, I don't know it is for everyone else but I have avoided mirrors for the last four years. I moved to the UK in 2008 at a nice 'normal' size. Started avoiding mirrors when I started to put on weight. Not to say I haven't looked at myself in the 4 years just have looked in sections.... my face when I am putting on make up or fixing my hair, from the waist up when I am trying on an outfit... Never naked and never all at once since I started to pack on the pounds. I had my lapband surgery on the 29th of June. This morning I got up and weighed and I have lost 40 pounds in total. Was very excited and so my very supportive and beloved hubby offered to take me shopping for some new clothes. Now with 40 pounds gone I would have thought I would have dropped some clothes sizes and so with credit card in hand headed to the shopping centre. I was wearing a 28/30 before surgery. I tried on 26s and they were to big... 24... a little loose.... 22 way to tight. Very excited about getting the 24s however when trying on clothes in the changing room horror of horrors... I was confronted with THE FULL WALL MIRROR. Mirror Mirror on the wall - what did I see??? Me in all my naked glory. Nowhere to hide and every lump and bump showing!!! Okay I know I am overweight and I should have expected to see what was showing in the mirror. That is the rational answer. Me, rational. not on the same page!! Shock and horror. What have I done to my poor body? Stood in the changing room and tried to come to grips. Strange that I was so upset. I know that my body has changed. I see lumps and bumps when I shower or change clothes. I think it was seeing it all at once that got me. It was an upsetting experience but a positive out of it. I and my hubby went to BHS and bought a full length mirror which is now installed in the bathroom. I have vowed to go into the bathroom and look at myself fully naked at least once a week. It is so easy to hide away from what I am doing to my body and what it looks like by simply avoiding mirrors. No more. I want to face it head on. I want to see the weekly changes that good food choices make in my body. I want to see how my band is helping me get back to where I was. I know it is going to be a long journey but I am going to face it with the blinders off. No more hiding the truth from myself.

[DELETE THIS ACCOUNT! 12,703]

Wow, you had a very emotional yet "moment of growth" morning!

I avoided mirrors for not years but decades. Heck I even stopped wearing make-up so I only saw the mirror to brush my teeth or put my hair in a pony tail. It was just too horrible to face what I'd done to my body (I was originally over 400 pounds)

I think not only facing the mirror in the store, but going so far as to buy one for your home, screams volumes. You are SO "ready" for the changes the Lap Band and losing weight will bring to your life. You accept who are today which is so important mentally. Honestly, I wish I'd have had that level of introspective clarity when I was still at the beginning of my journey. I have a lot of admiration for you.

Best wishes for continued success!

[Amberley 97]

Missy Thank you much appreciated for the support. Wednesdays are now mirror day. For me that it. My westie is thrilled with the new addition to the bathroom and keeps running in to look at herself in the mirror and back to where ever I am to bark and let me know there is another dog in the house. Really cute... until 3am this morning when she ran into the bedroom barking and woke me and the hubby up!! Bathroom door now being closed before bedtime....

[rmalikone 108]

I looked from time to time and was always was disappointed with myself! It was hard to believe that I looked like that and I had let myself get that way and felt powerless to change.

Until WLS that is.

[kll724 3,055]

It will get better, but congrats on the NSV of downsized clothes!