Depressed

[ndyoung77 142]

I hate the fact I have no support from my husband. I was never super large but I am heavy. Having kids back to back take a toll on your body an then being a working mom and turned into a stay at home mom does as well. I've tried all diets and all exercise videos and never lost more than 5 pounds only to gain it all back and more. I never even thought I could get weight loss surgery and my dr. Wanted me to see for my self if it was something I would want to do. I went Thur 9 months of hard work to get surgery not for anyone but myself in two weeks I've lost 20 lbs and my husband tells me I took the easy way because I'm too lazy. Why is it the ones you love are the ones that hurt you the most.

[lellow 1,713]

Wow no offence but he sounds like an ass. He's not living it so how the hell does he know if it's easy or not? And besides, shouldn't he just be happy that you're getting healthier?

Or is the problem that he worries that if you lose the weight you won't put up with him being an insensitive moron anymore?

[2muchfun 8,927]

Wow no offence but he sounds like an ass. He's not living it so how the hell does he know if it's easy or not? And besides, shouldn't he just be happy that you're getting healthier?

Or is the problem that he worries that if you lose the weight you won't put up with him being an insensitive moron anymore?

I always love your subtle approach But, when you're right, you're right!

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

sounds like the (so called man) could be scared his wife will lose weigh and drop him like a box of rocks...sorry he hurt you....and if its easy, tell him then he can hit the toliet better with his wee junk

sorry, reading this really ticked me off

people just dont know how words can cut..

[ndyoung77 142]

Well if he keeps this up he will be talking to his self cause ill leave. I was raised better than to out down anyone and in over being made fun of.

[Playrider 34]

I'm sorry you have to experience that. I hope you find the support you need here or elsewhere. Take care both physically and emotionally. Remember that you are worth it and are very brave to do whatever you have to do to get healthy. The easy way out, really? I need clarification....which part is easy? Pre-op diet? Post op diet? Dealing with post surgery gas ? Redefining my relationship w food?

[Good4me1313 54]

Oh my gosh, what a way to treat your wife. I think the posts above are right, he is scared that with weight lose, you will become more confident, you will get positive attention from others and he will be left in your dust cloud. Honey, you just hang in there, do this primarily for yourself, but your children as well. As anyone who has done what we have done know, this is not the easy way out, not by a long shot! You can do this with or without his support, see you have all of us! {{hugs}}

[KAATNS 1,473]

I feel your pain! Just remember that you're doing this for YOURSELF and if someone cannot be supportive of that, they can hit the road. You DESERVE to be healthy, treated with respect and be supported. Don't settle for anything less than that. Keep doing your thing girl. You are WORTH IT!

[DELETE THIS ACCOUNT! 12,703]

I think Lellow totally nailed it!

He should be happy you're making yourself healthier, not only for you, but so that his kids will have a healthy mom.

I strongly suspect he's feeling some jealousy and insecurity. It's sad but we see that a lot- one spouse loses weight and the other spouse gets afraid they're going to leave if they get thin. Maybe you could try talking to him? Find out what his problem really is and see if you can't resolve the issue by reassuring him?

Btw, you should be very proud regardless of his ignorance. You're doing great!!

[lasvegas1989 9]

Hey Girl,

I feel very bad to hear that ure husband is non-supportive. I would feel bad 4 anyone who has anyone in their life that is non-supportive.

After stating that, i can tell u that i am single and do not even have a support network. I'm doing this all on my own. in a sense, for me, it already crossed my mind that i would come across some people with that mentality of using the lap band as being lazy but it's soooo opposite! you really learn even more discipline. i eat slower, chew longer, take smaller bites ~ etc.

if ure husband does not or cannot support you during ure journey, that's his deal; don't make it yours. I've been let down big time, believe me and u just can't make someone feel differently all the time; maybe sometimes but they have to have an open mind.

hopefully in time he'll come around... who knows. BUT, either way, u need to focus on YOUR body and YOUR needs, issues, etc or u'll be dragged down and so miserable ... if he says something hurtful, ask him to please stop- maybe some education on the whole lap band subject might help him. But please try to pick yourself up. Their are so many people right here on this forum that care-

Focus on your goals. Not everyone is going to "get it" and that's okay- Right now, what matters is that you get it- hopefully in time, he'll come around. hugs!

[LessLee 119]

I am sorry. My husband is not the most sensitive or supportive person in the world and has said similar things. 2 weeks ago I told him I had lost 14 lbs and he turned around and said he lost 9 and didn't pay to do it.

So my point is I know how you feel. I really do think it's their own insecurities talking. Fear of us losing the weight and dropping them.

Congrats on your loss!!

[karenw 21]

i have also not had any support, well my boyfriend is an alcoholic so being said when he;s sober he says hi slim....so yes says a kind word but doesn't lift a finger to help, I thought this week after I bought some liquid eggs perhaps he would make me one... nope just keeps asking when are we going out for lobsta .....sorry for your pain I hear you hun I am also in that right now.....

[Quahog 134]

One bad apple doesn't spoil the whole bunch......

Mr Right is outside your door.

Open it up, when you've had enough.

[ladyjordan 105]

Sorry to hear that, when I first got the surgery my husband was acting a little crazy, and as time went by and he saw how much healthier I was getting and how much energy I have, he begin to support me, sometimes some of the husband may feel a little insecure and feel because we loose weight we may attract someone else, I just had to reassure my husband we are on this journey together, that I love him and no matter how much weight I loose I am his wife and I am not going any where, he started changing for the better, so I want to encourage you it will get better, just give him time to adjust we have the surgery but our family sometimes need to adjust also....good luck sis

[Alivami@12 46]

My daughter said that to me (13 year old) but it was really fear talking. Men sometimes, don't know how to say the right thing. Remember you made the decision, your a mom and you can do this!!!! Every pound you loose is an accomplishment that YOU did alone. You go girl!!!!! You've always got friends that understand. Next time let him talk to your backside