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Rapidly approaching



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My surgery is rapidly approaching (4 - 6 weeks) and I am getting so excited and soooo nervous.

What were the first few weeks like for you?

What was the hardest part?

I have very few people to talk this over with. Basically my husband. My family (parents, etc...) are competely against this. My father to the point of telling me he will not talk to me again if I do it. I have always had a very close relationship with my whole family and it kills me not to have their support. I live about 3000 miles away from them so it isn't as if they are here breathing down my neck but I worry about not having emotional support on the bad days... How bad are they after surgery?

Thanks

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Congratulations and good luck. I'm sorry you don't have the support of your family. Why are they so dead set against this? Do they not know the benefits of losing weight? To give you an ultimatum like that! My family just wants me to be healthy and be around years to come. They were concerned about me having the surgery but know it's something that needs to be taken care of NOW! I know a lot of people think that you should be able to lose weight on your own - just walk away from the table, exercise more and on and on. If we could do this on our own, we wouldn't be in the position that we're in. I wish I could be strong enough to tough it out, but I know I'm not. I look at this as the same if someone needs a hearing aid or glasses, etc. These kinds of problems don't fix themselves why would getting help to get your weight under control not be the same thing? You have to think about your future. I know for me, if I didn't have this surgery, next year I'd be another 30 + pounds heavier and each year after that even more. I don't want to die a morbidly obese woman, I want to live, have fun, do things that I can't because of my size. I'm scared to get diabetes and go blind or lose a limb. I have always worried about getting into an accident and have the EMT's try to lift me up or out of a car. Now I am changing that and I'm doing it for me. I'm sorry for your family if they can't realize the benefits of lapbanding. Maybe they just don't understand the details and are just afraid for you.

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Oops, sorry I didn't answer your first questions. I was banded on April 6, 2006. The first week was just getting over the pain of surgery. I had never had surgery so I was very fearful of the pain afterward. After the first night in the hospital, I came home and maybe took 2 or 3 doses of liquid tylenol even though my dr. prescribed Percoset. I slept on the couch for the first 4 nights because I couldn't get out of bed comfortably. The port pain is the worst pain because it's the largest incision and the port is sewed into the muscle. After maybe 9 or 10 days that pain was gone completely. It was a nuisance pain but not at all intolerable. I didn't feel like eating (or really drinking) much. I was only Clear Liquids for only one day and then I moved into heavier liquids, i.e. creamed Soups, milk based Protein Drinks, broths. Only be the end of the second week did I really want real food. It was a joy to move to mushies in week 3. You will notice when you are recovering from surgery that if you watch tv, every 2 seconds there is a food commercial on! You'll do just fine. It was not as horrible as your mind imagines that it will be.

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I know it is hard without family support, but they will come around once they see you losing weight. I am 13 days out and most of my discomfort has been from my port area. Nothing that really requires that I take pain medication. My second issue has been the mushy diet as I find it boring. I had my post op visit and my doctor okayed regular diet as tolerated. So I have some mushy and some solids during the day. So far I have loss 15.5 lbs so I definitely think it has been worth it. I wish you well. You have a large group of people here ready to lend a listening ear,or offer sage advise. Take advantage of these resources when your feeling low.

Roberta

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I haven't been banded yet-am aiming for July. Going through the process right now meeting with docs etc.

This idea probably won't be met with much enthusiasm by others but in regards to your family's attitude:

My husband is 100% with me. In fact I hope to do so well that he becomes a member of the band too!

MI spoke with my Mom about it and she freaked. I also live far away from my Mom and bro and family. My brother is a good guy but will def say it is the easy way out and hold it over my head. My mom thinks I will have all sorts of complications, that if it isn't necassary one should never have surgery. So... since they live so far away I am not telling them. I have'nt said anything at all to my brother or sis-in-law or any other relatives. I am telling my Mom that I am following the hospital weight loss program with Optifast, behavior modification and group sessions. This is all true since the obesity program at the hospital does indeed do lapband, gastric bypass and optifast behavior modification with some medication. I am just leaving out the lapband part. They all want me to lose weight for my health. They all love me. I doubt I will die on the table. This way I can tell my Mom all about what I am attending and learning but without the band info. She wanted me to try "one more time" before having surgery. So she is relieved, it is my business and that is that. May I suggest lying to your family? Tell them you are going to try "one last time" a good solid hospital nutritionist diet with some group therapy thrown in. Then stay away from them for a about 3 months after surgery. When you see them you'll just be "sticking to your diet" while you eat small.

Just a suggestion, sometimes I think too much truth is too much. A little privacy isn't such a bad thing.

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I'll be banded on June 9th. I'm very excited and wished I could have set an earlier date, but had work commitments that needed taken care of. I'm planning just to take 4 days off post off, plus surgery day. I'm hoping that will be plenty of time.

Melissa Lea

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