Do people treat you differently?

[vincereautmori 323]

Do you find people, in general, treat you differently as a lean person vs. when you were heavy?

[pinklily27 61]

Well to a degree yes. I was within 20 pounds of goal when I originally had my band placed. I worked for a large hospital as a nursing educator and was in constant contact with a multitude of people. I left that job in 2011 and have since encountered some problems and gained nearly 100 pounds since then. I dread having to go there (which I occasionally do to teach nursing clinicals_ because when I run into people who knew me then, they seemed shocked when they see me. I know they are looking at me and thinking what happened, I thought she had a lapband. I feel like they are judging me! I've been working hard with my surgeon over the past 6 months and am close to the "green" zone and losing weight for the first time in a year!

[gowalking 10,790]

Do you find people, in general, treat you differently as a lean person vs. when you were heavy?

They sure do. I'm not even in the 'lean' category yet....I'm regular overweight and not morbidly obese anymore after losing 70 lbs. What I notice is that no one notices me. I'm not talking about friends, family, co-workers. I'm talking about strangers who don't know me. No one stares..no one looks at me with those fearful eyes pleading silently that I don't sit next to them on the train or bus. Now..as far as folks who do know me...no...they treat me just the same because I'm still the same person I was before the surgery.

[Kitt3000 757]

Yes.

[DELETE THIS ACCOUNT! 12,703]

Yes. Dramatically so.

When I was over 200 pounds heavier, I was pretty much treated like a Leper. I'd get openly mocked in grocery stores, looked at with disdain in restaurants, and pretty much shunned by store clerks. I can't tell you how many times I was ignored when trying to get sales help.

Now, I can go into the same stores and restaurants and be treated like royalty. Sales people trip over themselves to help me (even when I don't need it). Men who would've likely let a door close in my face before now hit on me.

...and this all seriously pisses me off. I'm the same person, with the same personality, and the same worth as I was when I was 200 pounds heavier. The only difference is now my packaging is a bit different.

Fat discrimination is alive and well, trust me.

[Kitt3000 757]

I totally agree Mis. It used to make me angry and I think I ate more as an fu.

This time, I know what to expect, and I have just smiled and laughed about how shallow most people are. These are not the people who look for what is inside, and frankly, I don't care to have them as friends.

[KAATNS 1,473]

Yes to an extent. For me it's more about feeling better about myself and being more confident in my own skin. I try not to worry what other people think of me, but having the added confidence has put a boost in my self-esteem and a little pep in my step.

[vincereautmori 323]

"Fat discrimination is alive and well, trust me"

I totally agree, I often find myself at functions searching for someone to engage in conversation. I have also experienced situations in my career when I have been passed over even though I had superior experience, but I didn't look the part. Still, I want to do this for myself and my family, not to comply with an expectation by other people's biases. But it's easier said by me as I only have a couple of more years before retirement. One of the benefits of getting older (lol).

[karenw 21]

who gives a f what people think, they are not your "real friends" .....I haven't lost all me weight yet, but I can't imagine anyone who would treat me different, will see lol but I know if they do they can all kick sand so to speak..

[lellow 1,713]

yes, like MIs I went from being treated like I was invisible if I was lucky, to being treated very well indeed. Like Mis it pissed me off for a long time because I am the same person on the inside and I felt angry for my heavier self.

BUT I now use this new 'visibility' to be more assertive, and this includes calling people out when they discriminate against heavy people.

[LapBandit2013 162]

Yes. I've been on all areas of the weight spectrum - normal, fat, thin, super morbidly obese and now just obese. People are so much different. At thin & normal, men and women both were friendly and helpful, always considerate. At fat, just mostly ignored. At super morbidly obese, name calling by strangers, looks of disgust, sneering, even doors slammed in my face, etc. Skinny people have no idea how their world is filtered for them. With the weight, at least we know who the assholes are.

[pink dahlia 2,513]

Do I get treated any different now that im thinner ? Yes , yes, and yes !Before I was overweight wearing dowdy old lady clothes , mom jeans , and baggy t shirts or something that just wasn't "me". (The big girl clothes aren't always the prettiest!) Now I wear attractive age appropriate modern clothes and because I LOOK more attractive , Im treated better by men AND women, and part of it its human nature unfortunately. People just naturely respond better to something or somebody that is their version of attractive. Think about it , if you're looking for a kitten, a dress, or a rosebush, which one do you automatically go for ? The pretty one or the ugly one ?

[Mcrutchky 30]

Funny, when I was thinner, I bought boxes of Debbie's for my husband and cashiers did not blink.When I became larger (off of carbs, not a Lil Debbie fan) all of a sudden I would get the look of "really?" even though the veggies and diet meals were for me!

[L12 13]

95% of the time I am treated MUCH better... x1000 The 5% is from overweight/obese people . One heavier coworker was pretty unfriendly until I mentioned that I had the band and had lost a lot of weight. She warmed up immediately, and told me that she thought "Great, a skinny b**** in the office" when I started. And there have been other similar comments. It saddens me, as being thin, then heavy, now thin again and the differences in how I've been treated between those changes has really taught me to appreciate who people are, not what they look like - that's how I want to be treated. Though I know from experience that they are accustomed to being judged, I wish it wasn't assumed that I was doing so.

[parisshel 1,892]

Yes. I noticed the UPS guy lingers a lot longer in my office now.