I'm a lost bandster....

[butterflymackey 6]

I decided to get weightloss surgery after being over 250 lbs for 5 years with several failed diet attempts. I had hypertension, GERD, and fertility issues. I started off weighing 285. By the time I had surgery I was down to 268 lbs from my pre-surgery diet. Had my 4cc lapband done on 5/17/2006 in Omaha, NE. First fill 6/2006. .5 cc. Lost 30 lbs. by 6/2006. Got pregnant 7/2006. Yay fertility issue solved....faster than I had planned....but yay!! Had my son 3/2007. 228 lbs. postpartum. Had second fill done 6/2007. 1cc. Got pregnant AGAIN 11/2007. Um fertility issue solved...yay? Another baby? Really? Ok. Had to empty band this time due to complications.

Moved to Texas 2/2008. Had my daughter 9/2008. Postpartum weight 238 lbs. I didn't have insurance that would cover Lap Band in TX so I had to find a new doctor that wouldn't charge me a ton out of pocket. By then I weighed 291 lbs. Had 3rd fill of 1cc done 7/22/09 for $150. Btw the doctor tells me, "I would have never done LapBand on you. You come see me when you have better insurance and I'll do a revision gastric bypass on you." I should have walked out right then and there but got the fill anyway. Well 1cc was too much too fast and my stoma swelled shut. After a week, I couldn't even swallow my saliva without throwing up. I had an ER visit and fill removed a week later for another $150. I was down to 279 by then. 12 lbs in one week! Yikes! 9/2009 pregnant AGAIN! GDI!!!! Really!? Fertility issue can go to hell!! So can the breast feeding myth!! 6/2010 had another daughter. 270 lbs postpartum.

Ok so most of you will gasp when you hear the extremes I went to to have my band filled, but here goes....I worked in an ER as a secretary. A nurse did my fills for me. She was honestly better at doing them then the clinics were. We started slow. By 11/2011 I had filled to 1.75 cc. Great restriction, no problems. Now I'm down to 245 lbs. I moved back to NE where I started my journey.

My problems:

1. I don't follow a good diet. When you go through the preop screening you get educated, motivated, supported, to eat right. Its been so long....I don't know where to start again.

2. I was diagnosed with adult ADD. My meds make me never want to eat. I could go all day so I often go for junk just to get some calories in.

3. I just got tested 6/2013 for Vitamin deficiencies and I'm Vitamin D and Calcium deficient. No doubt as a result of my bad eating habits. I feel like crap. My hair is falling out again. Bad skin. Fatigued all the time. Irritated, moody.

4. I started smoking again. Ugh. I know I know!!! I'll smoke instead of eat. Bad bad bad!! But I'm being honest here.

5. My life has fallen apart. In the small span of time I went from being happily married, spouse working making good money, going to school, making good money, good insurance to....having a horrible marriage with a husband who is mentally ill and had a back injury (yes same guy as before. hitting 11yr anniversary July 26) he only makes disability, my son was diagnosed with autism, part time work, government assistance....

I have Medicaid. I go to school again full time. I only have 2 years left for my bachelors of nursing degree. I have a band that I abuse. How do I get back on track? Where do I even start with all the other things on my plate (no pun intended)? I'm a horrible example of a Lap Band patient. I feel like such a lowlife. I need help. What can I do on my own to get healthy? Besides the obvious, to quit smoking.... Thanks

I forgot to mention I was up to 304 lbs when the nurse started filling my band. So since 9/2010 I've lost 59 lbs.

[blondegal_ 1,028]

The easiest thing I think you can fix is item #2 - eating junk food. Why not just eat something healthy to get some calories in? If you're not hungry, then make yourself eat something healthy. Eating healthy (not just to lose weight) will help you feel so much better. It won't help out on the other issues (husband, son, work, etc) but it will help YOU. Also start taking a daily Vitamin and a Calcium supplement will help you out too. Best of luck on your weight loss journey and everything else.

[rejuvinated 17]

I can empathize with some of your weight loss discouragements. I've had a lot of physical, health issues and as a result couldn't follow the plan for food intake or exercise. The weight has crept back on. I'm looking for a job and find myself snacking and after foot surgery I haven't been able to exercise. Got bronchitis, then the flu , then CDiff from too many antibiotics, and then had the surgery. Finally after 3 months of no Fluid in the band I got a 2cc fill ( previously ha 9cc in a 10cc band and have never felt full after a meal. That has been s very disappointing part of this band surgery, but something I just have to deal with. Coil use a little more fluid in the band but am holding off because I am self-pay. I got remote stead reading a very inspirational message on this site and found a great weight loss app. I journal EVERYTHING I eat. What a difference this maks for me. I can check how much Protein I've had and add something low cal but high in protein. All fish is high so I may have a small can of tuna if I'm starving. For me that's my cue that I need more protein. I keep telling myself mostly what I feel is head hunger and unless I am beginning to have the shaky gingers, I keep myself busy and drink a lot of fluids or have fruit. It's amazing that since I'm tracking what I eat I'm eating much fewer calories and more protein. I get my stitches put tomorrow and can start back at the pool and gym.

I think Medicaid covers lap bands. I've had several clients that had the surgery with Medicaid. Being self pay, I have to evaluate quickly whether my band had enough fluid . I pay $100 each fill, and am allowed 2 weeks' range to see if I need another one of if I need dome removed. Raising 3 kids is overwhelming. A husband on disability( mental or physical?) is a real challenge. Honest immunization with him to be more helpful with the kids, housework , and support you emotionally would probably be very helpful. His self esteem and confidence have probably been affected by the disability. If you can 't encourage him to get some help , you can take care of you. Journal your food, if you can't afford the gym , walking is great for 2 reasons : you find time alone to be out in nature, and you lose weight. I hope I don 't come across as preaching to you. Remember , in every situation? There are choices we can make. We have no control over other people, places or things, but we do have control and the choice in how to respond to them. Stay in touch. I care about what you 're going through. By the way, I'm with you on the smoking and am planning to quit today. Just can 't afford the price anymore, financially and health wise .

[rejuvinated 17]

I can empathize with some of your weight loss discouragements. I've had a lot of physical, health issues and as a result couldn't follow the plan for food intake or exercise. The weight has crept back on. I'm looking for a job and find myself snacking and after foot surgery I haven't been able to exercise. Got bronchitis, then the flu , then CDiff from too many antibiotics, and then had the surgery. Finally after 3 months of no Fluid in the band I got a 2cc fill ( previously ha 9cc in a 10cc band and have never felt full after a meal. That has been s very disappointing part of this band surgery, but something I just have to deal with. Coil use a little more fluid in the band but am holding off because I am self-pay. I got remote stead reading a very inspirational message on this site and found a great weight loss app. I journal EVERYTHING I eat. What a difference this maks for me. I can check how much Protein I've had and add something low cal but high in protein. All fish is high so I may have a small can of tuna if I'm starving. For me that's my cue that I need more protein. I keep telling myself mostly what I feel is head hunger and unless I am beginning to have the shaky gingers, I keep myself busy and drink a lot of fluids or have fruit. It's amazing that since I'm tracking what I eat I'm eating much fewer calories and more protein. I get my stitches put tomorrow and can start back at the pool and gym.

I think Medicaid covers lap bands. I've had several clients that had the surgery with Medicaid. Being self pay, I have to evaluate quickly whether my band had enough fluid . I pay $100 each fill, and am allowed 2 weeks' range to see if I need another one of if I need dome removed. Raising 3 kids is overwhelming. A husband on disability( mental or physical?) is a real challenge. Honest immunization with him to be more helpful with the kids, housework , and support you emotionally would probably be very helpful. His self esteem and confidence have probably been affected by the disability. If you can 't encourage him to get some help , you can take care of you. Journal your food, if you can't afford the gym , walking is great for 2 reasons : you find time alone to be out in nature, and you lose weight. I hope I don 't come across as preaching to you. Remember , in every situation? There are choices we can make. We have no control over other people, places or things, but we do have control and the choice in how to respond to them. Stay in touch. I care about what you 're going through. By the way, I'm with you on the smoking and am planning to quit today. Just can 't afford the price anymore, financially and health wise .

[rejuvinated 17]

Meant to say got great inspiration from a message recently. And also meant to say I Greg shaky when I don't get enough Protein

[rejuvinated 17]

Darn the auto correct. Communicate with your spouse!

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

heart was heavy reading your thoughts.

well i can only say it sounds (by the bottom part) that you have the restriction level you wish to be at.....so as tara stated, start eating better quality foods in your allotted amount (1 to 1 1/2 cup of food) leave the fast food/processed where it belongs (out of your reach), drink alot....and maybe exercise (but with young kids you are up and moving all the time.....heck walking about the neighborhood is a great thing to do..once you begin to feel better about yourself, maybe the other things wont seem so (bad/hectic)....take time out for you to do what you need to make yourself well (aka stop smoking asap and start with the vitamins).....and lastly, just begin..you cant change what the past was.....but you can change your future....if you want to, and willingly want to, then you will do what you have to and make it happen.

wishing you all the best.

[Toddy 758]

Wow, you do have a lot on your plate, but the great thing is by writing all this and asking for help it means you haven't given up!!!

I think you need to prioritize some things.

No. 1: Make your health your priority! Quit smoking! I don't know how in the world anybody can afford to smoke, even if you're not worried about the health consequences... It's not easy, but it's so worth it. I was a heavy smoker that LOVED smoking, but quit cold turkey almost 20 years ago, so I know it can be done. No. 2, focus on healthy eating so you feel better!! No. 3, stay in school and get your BSN.

If you focus on these three things, you will feel better and be better able to take care of the kiddos in case you end up having to do it alone.

[feelinggood 152]

My heart goes out to you. Since you asked I'm going to be honest here. First thing... get on birth control pills or condoms work too. Get some Protein Bars for a snack instead of junk food. Fix some healthy foods for a week and freeze meal sizes so you just need to reach in grab and microwave. Stay focused on your education. Very important for your future. Start taking D3 supplements (if that's what your low on. i take 5000iu per day). Try electronic cigarettes to quit smoking. They really work. I wish you all the best. Keep us posted.

[DELETE THIS ACCOUNT! 12,703]

You definitely have a lot to deal with. Some of it is out of your control, some is not, so start with the things that are in your control to change.

-Stop grabbing junk food to eat. Get it all out of your house if you need to, but it's just as easy to grab an apple or a piece of cheese as it is junk.

-Get on an eating schedule. I don't have ADD, but my son is ADHD and I see how the meds effect him. Like you, he has zero appetite during the day but at night he is ready to eat like a horse. You have to realize your appetite is low from the meds and compensate accordingly, even if that means a small healthy snack when you're not hungry. For instance, my son is never hungry enough for lunch so I will cut up an apple and put Peanut Butter on it for him. Or I'll take a piece of lean deli ham and roll some cream cheese into it and offer him that. Neither are meals but they're good Protein Snacks his body needs- even if he has no appetite. You could do the same.

-Stop smoking. If you can afford to smoke then you can afford to go to a real bariatric doctor. Say you're smoking a pack a day- that's approximately $200 a month. Why in the world would you risk your health and waste your money on cigarettes when you need other things, like healthy food and a bariatric surgeon? By the way, I'm an ex-smoker. I quit over 2 years ago for health reasons as well as financial reasons so I know it can be done.

-Stop risking your health and band by letting some random nurse fill your band. Do you have any idea the huge risk you're taking? No one except a trained bariatric professional should ever touch your band or attempt to fill it. You're seriously begging for an infection, a slip, or worse.

You're in nursing school. Most (if not all) of what I said here you should already know. So, take control and start getting life back in the areas you can.

Best wishes.

[dawalsh 919]

I'm not going to lecture you on the evils of smoking but I gave up smoking 30 yrs ago cold turkey and I was up to two packs a day. It wasn't even health at the time I was worried about. They cost $1.25 a pack which was $2.50 a day which was $17.50 a week which was $910.00 annually which was almost $1,000. I started saving what I was spending on cigarettes and was able to take a nice vacation after a couple of years. I heard cigarettes are at least $8.00 a pack where I used to live in NY. OMG that's $56 a week! That's almost $3,000 a year! Wow, so if not for your health do it for financial reasons.

Ms.73 got it right, choose healthy Snacks and take time to prepare a snack or meal, get rid of the slider foods. OMG, if I had tortilla chips in the house I wouldn't be able to stop so I choose not to buy anything that is detrimental to me. I was asked to bring a covered dish two weeks ago. Normally, I would bring my lasagna or some other Italian baked dish. I chose to make a Greek salad with dressing on the side.

If not for yourself (which you should be número UNO right now) do it for your family. They need you and for heaven sakes, go back to school and get your nursing degree! You're worth it! God bless and good luck!

[PrettyThick1 1,860]

I decided to get weightloss surgery after being over 250 lbs for 5 years with several failed diet attempts. I had hypertension, GERD, and fertility issues. I started off weighing 285. By the time I had surgery I was down to 268 lbs from my pre-surgery diet. Had my 4cc lapband done on 5/17/2006 in Omaha, NE. First fill 6/2006. .5 cc. Lost 30 lbs. by 6/2006. Got pregnant 7/2006. Yay fertility issue solved....faster than I had planned....but yay!! Had my son 3/2007. 228 lbs. postpartum. Had second fill done 6/2007. 1cc. Got pregnant AGAIN 11/2007. Um fertility issue solved...yay? Another baby? Really? Ok. Had to empty band this time due to complications.

Moved to Texas 2/2008. Had my daughter 9/2008. Postpartum weight 238 lbs. I didn't have insurance that would cover Lap Band in TX so I had to find a new doctor that wouldn't charge me a ton out of pocket. By then I weighed 291 lbs. Had 3rd fill of 1cc done 7/22/09 for $150. Btw the doctor tells me, "I would have never done LapBand on you. You come see me when you have better insurance and I'll do a revision gastric bypass on you." I should have walked out right then and there but got the fill anyway. Well 1cc was too much too fast and my stoma swelled shut. After a week, I couldn't even swallow my saliva without throwing up. I had an ER visit and fill removed a week later for another $150. I was down to 279 by then. 12 lbs in one week! Yikes! 9/2009 pregnant AGAIN! GDI!!!! Really!? Fertility issue can go to hell!! So can the breast feeding myth!! 6/2010 had another daughter. 270 lbs postpartum.

Ok so most of you will gasp when you hear the extremes I went to to have my band filled, but here goes....I worked in an ER as a secretary. A nurse did my fills for me. She was honestly better at doing them then the clinics were. We started slow. By 11/2011 I had filled to 1.75 cc. Great restriction, no problems. Now I'm down to 245 lbs. I moved back to NE where I started my journey.

My problems:

1. I don't follow a good diet. When you go through the preop screening you get educated, motivated, supported, to eat right. Its been so long....I don't know where to start again.

2. I was diagnosed with adult ADD. My meds make me never want to eat. I could go all day so I often go for junk just to get some calories in.

3. I just got tested 6/2013 for Vitamin deficiencies and I'm Vitamin D and Calcium deficient. No doubt as a result of my bad eating habits. I feel like crap. My hair is falling out again. Bad skin. Fatigued all the time. Irritated, moody.

4. I started smoking again. Ugh. I know I know!!! I'll smoke instead of eat. Bad bad bad!! But I'm being honest here.

5. My life has fallen apart. In the small span of time I went from being happily married, spouse working making good money, going to school, making good money, good insurance to....having a horrible marriage with a husband who is mentally ill and had a back injury (yes same guy as before. hitting 11yr anniversary July 26) he only makes disability, my son was diagnosed with autism, part time work, government assistance....

I have Medicaid. I go to school again full time. I only have 2 years left for my bachelors of nursing degree. I have a band that I abuse. How do I get back on track? Where do I even start with all the other things on my plate (no pun intended)? I'm a horrible example of a Lap Band patient. I feel like such a lowlife. I need help. What can I do on my own to get healthy? Besides the obvious, to quit smoking.... Thanks

I forgot to mention I was up to 304 lbs when the nurse started filling my band. So since 9/2010 I've lost 59 lbs.

Hey...not so glum chum! You can get back on the bandwagon and win this time! Find a good support group in your area and do the things you did before you started this journey - educate, educate, educate and go to a seminar if you need to, they aren't restricted just to people who haven't gotten the band yet. All you need is a bit of motivation, support and a few hugs. You can do this girl, think positive and make friends on this site. We are here for each other - near or far!

[butterflymackey 6]

You guys are amazing! I truly thought that by putting myself out there, I would get nothing but negativity and judgement. Boy was I wrong. Thank you for your kind words. no one offended me, and sometimes one needs a "tell it like it is" talking to. I just found out that my work offers a smoking cessation program for free. I'm going to take advantage of it ASAP. Just called and left a message. I am currently going to school for nursing. I think that's what makes me even more pissed about my behavior is that I of all people know what I SHOULD be doing. I sit and think, why the heck are you doing this to yourself? My self esteem, self worth and God forbid my self accountability are way off. I made a simple phone call to my surgeons office and behold Medicaid will cover my visit. I think what's really held me back from that phone call is now dealing with the consequences of explaining why I haven't and continue to be irresponsible and unsuccessful. My surgeon is a no bs kinda woman and I'm sure if she could she'd rip this band from my body. Just FYI, I do have an IUD. No more babies for me! I used to talk crap about people in my situation. Im fertile mrytle and dont expect anyone else to pay for my kids. My husband has just started getting a new regimen of treatment for his mental health and so far I have seen a glimpse of his former self. My son is on track with Autism intervention. You all are right, I have to start focusing on ME. No more pity party. I'm not that kind of person. I don't settle for this kind of life. So since last night:

1. I have decided to take accountability for the things I can control and stop boo hooing about things without making an effort that is required.

2. I have a plan to stop smoking. I will wait to hear back from the smoking cessation guy, or stalk his life until he gets back to me. For myself, my kids, money, and I hang my head as I say for the cancer patients I take care of. Yes, I said it. I work in a cancer treatment center as a CNA. I hate myself some days for putting myself at risk for what my patients are dying from all the time. How much more in your face could the potential consequences be?

3. I made an appt with my surgeon. I'll see her on July 26th. Hopefully she won't make me want to jump from a building. Maybe I need her swift kick in the butt.

4. I'm going to start forcing myself to eat. Summer is produce season, season of lean grilling meats. No excuse. Getting a food tracking app is on tonight's agenda.

5. Exercise. I actually get a lot of that with my job and school. I'm just going to make an effort to track it and be more consistent. They have apps for that too.

6. Lastly, I'm just going to keep rolling with the punches. The things I can't control can't define me. I choose how to handle them.

I'm feeling so motivated right now! Thank you all so much. I'll keep in touch. Hugs!!!

[butterflymackey 6]

I can empathize with some of your weight loss discouragements. I've had a lot of physical' date=' health issues and as a result couldn't follow the plan for food intake or exercise. The weight has crept back on. I'm looking for a job and find myself snacking and after foot surgery I haven't been able to exercise. Got bronchitis, then the flu , then CDiff from too many antibiotics, and then had the surgery. Finally after 3 months of no Fluid in the band I got a 2cc fill ( previously ha 9cc in a 10cc band and have never felt full after a meal. That has been s very disappointing part of this band surgery, but something I just have to deal with. Coil use a little more Fluid in the band but am holding off because I am self-pay. I got remote stead reading a very inspirational message on this site and found a great weight loss app. I journal EVERYTHING I eat. What a difference this maks for me. I can check how much Protein I've had and add something low cal but high in Protein. All fish is high so I may have a small can of tuna if I'm starving. For me that's my cue that I need more protein. I keep telling myself mostly what I feel is head hunger and unless I am beginning to have the shaky gingers, I keep myself busy and drink a lot of fluids or have fruit. It's amazing that since I'm tracking what I eat I'm eating much fewer calories and more protein. I get my stitches put tomorrow and can start back at the pool and gym.

I think Medicaid covers lap bands. I've had several clients that had the surgery with Medicaid. Being self pay, I have to evaluate quickly whether my band had enough fluid . I pay 100 each fill, and am allowed 2 weeks' range to see if I need another one of if I need dome removed. Raising 3 kids is overwhelming. A husband on disability( mental or physical?) is a real challenge. Honest immunization with him to be more helpful with the kids, housework , and support you emotionally would probably be very helpful. His self esteem and confidence have probably been affected by the disability. If you can 't encourage him to get some help , you can take care of you. Journal your food, if you can't afford the gym , walking is great for 2 reasons : you find time alone to be out in nature, and you lose weight. I hope I don 't come across as preaching to you. Remember , in every situation? There are choices we can make. We have no control over other people, places or things, but we do have control and the choice in how to respond to them. Stay in touch. I care about what you 're going through. By the way, I'm with you on the smoking and am planning to quit today. Just can 't afford the price anymore, financially and health wise .[/quote']

Thank you for taking the time to share this! Would you mind sharing that message you got? I hope things start looking and staying up for you also!

[rejuvinated 17]

Thanks and I have a great phone app.. My net diary. I can track everything I eat , see how many calories, most importantly Protein , an exercise log and calories expended. I love plus all the tips it gives you for motivation and charting your weight loss