Ready to cry my eyes out

[Elektralite 0]

I'm sitting here holding in the tears, the fears, and the upset. I'm sorry to dump this out here, but I need to let it go, and hopefully gain some wisdom from those of you who have been here.

The good part - I saw my primary today and presented him with a nice little worksheet I'd done showing my previously failed weight loss attempts, co-morbidity factors in addition to my 46 BMI, my questions, my concerns, my choice of the lap band and the surgeon to perform it. He looked it all over and said I made a good choice for a surgeon for me - that was nice to hear. It's good to know my primary respects him in the field.

Now, the bad part - He doesn't think the band is worth it for me. He admits that he's not overly experienced with band patients, but he does have RNY bariatric patients. He said he's read a lot of literature on the band (so have I!!!) but just doesn't think it's going to be what I need because Portion Control isn't my problem. He wants me to go with the RNY because he's seen it work fast in his other patients. I feel like I just got kicked in the face - even if it was done politely.

I've put so much time into researching, reading, and educating myself about the band. I have spent probably 25 hours in the last week reading and learning all I could find. I felt like this would be the right choice for me for all the following reasons:

1. I don't really want my guts re-routed (God made them this way for a reason)

2. There's so much less risk, and with 2 kids I can't afford to have major problems - especially not death

3. It's reversible *if* there was a problem

4. Easier recovery and less hospital time

5. The band wouldn't require me to be on special Vitamins, etc. for the rest of my life (what happens if I lose insurance?!? then what?!?)

6. So many people have found success with the band it gives me hope

Are we seeing a pattern here? I really don't want the RNY, for so many reasons. And yet, this is what my primary wants for me. I'm scared, I'm confused, and I'm heartbroken. I did get the referral to the surgeon and I will of course discuss all this with him, but - pardon my trucker mouth - but WHAT THE F*$#?!?

Have any of you gone through this? Any sage words of wisdom? Thoughts? I'm sorry to have dumped all this, I just really need some support through this tough night.

Thanks for listening

El

[amourette 5]

I wouldn't worry about your primary (does that mean family doctor?). It isn't his field of expertise so I would get that appointment to the specialist made and take all the same stuff with you........it sounds like you have worked so hard on your research, i can't see how your specialist won't be impressed!!!!!!!!

do you mind me asking what you think (or he thinks) the problem is with weight if it isn't food portions, is it just poor choices, mine was food portions and obsession with food. I am only banded 3 weeks but am happy so far!

So forget the doctor, he's not a surgeon and let us know what happens.

Good luck!!!!

Amourette XX

[Nana~ 4]

what kind of prob. do you have if food portion isnt the prob.? I know that sounds bad wording but lol Im not being snippy I promise. I ask because I didnt have Portion Control issues either.

I would only eat 1 maybe sometime 2 "meal" a day because I was always running around. I tried making myself eat the 3 meals and even 6 small meals and I gained doing it... So I dunno. now Im not going to lie the one meal I had wasnt good for me I scarfed it down in a hurry and it was full of fatty stuff.

What I do know is in "MY" exp with the band is now that I am banded I do eat 3 small meals a day and I do lose weight. It was like my body was in starvation mode and the band said "hey its okay, you ate we can let the fat go" lol

I say if the band is what you want talk to your Surgery Dr and dont worry about what anyother Dr says.

My Dr asked me why I wanted the band over bypass and I was honest w/ him and I got the band

Best of luck and dont give up!

[CATCHUP 0]

Yuo Know To Sometimes Doctors Have Arterior(wrong Spelling) Motives. And He Might Be Trying To Throw A Referral To One Of His Buddies. Although We Are The Patient Yu Should Have Some Say In The One Yu'd Prefer, That Is Much Less Riskier.

[danaclark2 0]

I probably wouldn't have been recommended by most doctors to get the band because I do--did--have a big sweet tooth.

That being said, almost three weeks out and almost 20 lbs down--my cravings have really changed. Having this band has helped me realize that my problem with food wasn't all emotional eating--it really was a great deal a physical hunger problem.

I don't know what the future holds--I hope I don't sound like a silly, unrealistic newbie--but, I'm thrilled with this band so far--I'm so happy to have stopped thinking and obsessing about food--and sweets for that matter. Have not had sugar in over three weeks and I feel great!

Go with you "gut" instinct. Don't let anyone discourage you. You can succeed at this!

[Dragonwillow 0]

My first nutritionist seemed to want to push me towards rny because I was a sweet eater. You know what...though I still like sweets that really hasn't been a problem for me so much. I feel even though I occassionally have something that is sweet I don't go overboard anymore. A little goes a long way.

For me it was a good thing I got the lapband versus rny since my Vitamins have been low on recent blood tests. Can you imagine how much worse they could have been if I had malasorbtion issues? My pcp wasn't very supportive of me having surgery at all originally. I was still young, and I could do it on my own was his reasoning. He is happy for me now and some of his staff have asked about the band when I go in for them.

[Elektralite 0]

(does that mean family doctor?). It isn't his field of expertise so I would get that appointment to the specialist made and take all the same stuff with you........it sounds like you have worked so hard on your research, i can't see how your specialist won't be impressed!!!!!!!!

do you mind me asking what you think (or he thinks) the problem is with weight if it isn't food portions, is it just poor choices,

Hi Amourette,

Thank you for your response. Yes, primary is my family doctor/internal medicine/primary care physician (HMO terms). Yes, I have worked hard on my research and really believe this is the right thing for me, even if he disagrees - and I will be sure to tell the surgeon that also. They are supposed to call me within the next week to set up my consultation.

And again, yes, my problem is poor choices. I can go 2 or 3 days barely eating a thing, but when I do decide to eat, it's crap. I'm addicted to the taste of junky food. I can be perfectly satisfied with a cup of Pasta and 2 meatballs, but I'd much rather have that quarter pounder with cheese meal from good ole McD's.. you know? Of course this sets off the yo-yo, don't eat and drop weight, do eat (and it's junk) and *poof* it's back on plus some. All the way up to the 299 I am today (and this is not the heaviest I've ever been). I know that with the band I'm going to be forced to make healthier choices, and that's what I need - the push to do the right thing. I've already given up regular soda, white bread (mostly), added sugar.. so, I am capable of doing some good things for myself, I just need that extra *OOMPH* if you know what I mean. Make sense?

Sorry, I'm rambling, I'll shush now.

El

[Dragonwillow 0]

You know what your taste generally change a bit after banding or something. I used to love getting a burger out or something junky...but not so much anymore. My mcdonalds meal is either a salad with chicken or a fruit parfait.

[Elektralite 0]

Wow, so many replies so quick while I was responding to the first post! Thank you, all of you *hugs*.. you've no idea the relief I feel reading your posts and seeing that you know where I'm coming from. Yes, it's the sweet tooth or - junk tooth that does me in. I'm sure my body has also thought it was in starvation mode a good many times. Hell, my metabolism is probably rock bottom from all the things I've done to myself over the years. I know the band isn't a miracle and I'm not going to wake up a svelt 170, but I believe it will give me the edge I need to do what I must. That's all I want, to do what I have to do for myself.. without destroying my body to do it. I guess my primary just doesn't get that. I have to attend two informational sessions, the first is the 11th of this month, and the next is on June 8th. I had already set those up myself through the surgeon's office last week. Now I just have to wait for the call to get the consult and I will explain this all to him. Thank you truly for your responses, I feel a bit better now. It was just hard to have been waiting with so much enthusiasm for so long and to get shot down like I did today. I'm not ready to quit on this yet, I want my life back.

El

[FunnyDuddies 6]

My PCP didn't like the band either. She said it wasn't fullproof enough. I had done lots of research, had the same problems with RNY as you did, and went to her, saying that my choice was the band. She said that if I did the band that she would not want me as a patient anymore. SO I CHOSE ANOTHER DOC! LOL I don't need to put up with bullying because of their inexperience, and you do not either. If you want to stay with him, ask him to do some research. Or better yet, send him some printed out research (I am sure Inamed would be happy to send you some!) and write a clear and concise letter explaining your feelings about the band vs. RNY. I say to do it in a letter because sometimes docs can be pushy and hard to talk to. You can't interupt paper.

If this is what you want, then go for it! Its your body, and you are the one to ultimately make the decision. I wish you luck in this journey. I know I am excited about mine, and can't wait to have the band put in. I KNOW I am making the right choice for me.

[Telly 4]

After reading that, I'm too upset to comment other than this. All I can say is, doctors make more money performing RNY procedures so I do believe it's biased.

[omamoon 0]

Elektralite, at least your PCP listened a little to what you had to say. My PCP walked in and the first thing out of his mouth was, "You're not fat enough." This was just the start of a meeting that went from bad to worse. He kept saying,"I understand," when I tried to tell him how I felt about my weight issues. I finally had it and told him, "I don't think so. How much weight have you every had to lose?" Mr. Skinny Doc just looked at me like I was nuts. Then told me he couldn't "approve" my band decision. I told him that was just fine because I didn't come there for his approval anyway. Long story short, I walked out and left him sitting on his little stool. I was so glad I took my DH as a witness. He could not believe his ears. I got my insurance approval three weeks after this fiasco, no thanks to his "expertise." Can you say the words "doctor shopping"?

[Heth68 0]

He doesn't think the band is worth it for me. He admits that he's not overly experienced with band patients, but he does have RNY bariatric patients. He said he's read a lot of literature on the band (so have I!!!) but just doesn't think it's going to be what I need because Portion Control isn't my problem. He wants me to go with the RNY because he's seen it work fast in his other patients.

El

Elektralite Buddy, don't give up hope. Your GP (Aussie-talk for doctor) has already told you that he doesn't know much about the band, but then says he wouldn't recommend it anyway!?!?!?

You know from your research that for YOU, the band is the safest way to go, with the option of being reversed should complications (God forbid) arise. As for the bypass being a 'fast' way to lose weight (as your GP advised), did he also mention that studies have shown that after a 5-year period. weight loss for both banding & bypass patients is relatively the same anyway?

If you already have your referral, as hard as it may be, you may have to agree to disagree with your GP, and go ahead & make your appointment with the surgeon. He (surgeon) may know of a GP who can see you regarding any banding appointments/issues. (?)

I don't have a regular GP so just went to my closest bulk-billing medical centre. The poor old GP I saw there had to ask me 3 times what I wanted the referral for, and even then I'm not sure if he was 100% sure on what it was. He didn't seem that interested in hearing what research I'd done, so I ended up not saying much to him at all about it (had the 'spiel' prepared & everything too, darn it)

I used to have a regular GP, who I'd been going to for years. I last saw him 15 years ago about suffering hypos (low blood sugar). He actually said to me "What are you worried about. Diabetes skips every second generation - your mother and sister already have it, so I doubt that you will 'get' it. Stop worrying". :faint:

I suppose what I'm trying to say is even those he's your GP & you respect him for all the training/experience he has, GP's are not infallible and don't always have the best/most extensive knowledge on a certain illness/procedure - that's what specialists are for. If you've done the research, and you (& your family) feel that this is the best step for you to take, and are happy with your decision, go for it Buddy. We're all there for you too - that's what these forums are all about, hey?

[Elektralite 0]

I really can't complain about my primary.. he's really been an excellent Dr. to me for many years (and he's super test happy - checks EVERYTHING). I think perhaps he's simply ignorant to enough information about the procedure. For the last couple years he has suggested WLS to me, but always the RNY of course. I just can not, and will not do that. I think it's a wonderful thing for people who are comfortable with it - I simply, am not.

He didn't give me a hard time or anything, just really is set that he doesn't believe in the band from the literature he's read. He did give me the referral to the surgeon with no complaints, and he is pleased that I want to take control of my weight. Maybe I can be the patient to enlighten him and open him up to a new idea. I *BELIEVE* with all that I have inside of me that this is the right choice for my life. I *KNOW* in my heart of hearts I will succeed.. and then he'll have to see it for what it is. I'll be the proof, sans pudding ::grin::

I am determined to do this, one way or another. Luckily, the surgeon I'll be seeing is a good one, and he's also the only one in my HMO plan that does the band. I've checked him out pretty well, no complaints/malpractice/reprimands on his record. He's actually highly regarded and the head of the bariatric program through my HMO. That certainly makes me feel better.

It was hard getting shot down today, but you all have succeeded in lifting my spirits and re-enforcing that this is the right choice in my mind. Thank you. And again, I think my Dr. is simply ignorant to the potential - I'll show him!

El

[PhotoNut 7]

Wow... everyone has contributed exactly what I would have said so I'll just jump in the crowd of well wishers and encouragers. It's your life, it's your decision. Get a doctor that will support you. Or! (added after I read the above post) Talk to your doctor and enlighten him about the band. Ask him to support you. He seems like a Dr who really cares about your health.

And no more tears. This is just the beginning of your journey, not the end.

And to all who mentioned that they were sweeteaters prior to banding but their tastes have changed - Thank you! That is SO true and I'd forgotten that.