losing sympathy and offering an apology

[gowalking 10,790]

I must apologize for a response I made to a poster last night. I was not very sympathetic when she noted a struggle she lost with a poor food choice and the amount eaten. I find myself thinking uncharitable thoughts lately when I read things like that. I even read a post the other day where someone said they got stuck because they ate a Big Mac too fast. Excuse me?? Why are you even eating a Big Mac? I hear Missy and Carolinagirl in my head all the time saying make better food choices and stick to band size portions. It’s become my mantra and it runs through my head all the time so thank you ladies. And every night when I go to bed, I feel good for sticking to the rules. I don’t feel that awful self hatred for once again, losing control. This feeling is so much better than the fleeting good feeling from eating a big old bowl of spaghetti.

I really find myself wondering what people are thinking when the get banded. So many of them seem to think the weight will come off magically and that the band will just stop them from overeating. Is this our fault or the doctor's fault? I wonder how many people go into this with no understanding of the changes we must must must make in order to be successful. So again, I apologize if I was unsympathetic and I will try to do better….no one should be blasted for admitting they made a mistake especially if you use it as a learning experience.

[michpell39 399]

When I first started reading the boards I found a lot of the comments harsh , I am not banded yet still a month away, but the more research I do and the closer I get ,the comments I once found harsh make so much more sense to me now and I find myself scratching my head at some of the things people do to themselves, there are slips that people have and there is personal sabotage

[hockeymother 178]

Very thoughtful of you to rethink your response. We must remember that we all had the surgery because of lack of control over food. Some are more prepared than others but I'm glad you realize that some will need support when they are down. I was one who thought I had my head on straight when I did this. But that one moment of weakness beat me and I caved. I learned from it, but those moments.... those cravings......still rear their ugly heads. It's hard but with this site, and the support I get from here, makes it so much easier to pick myself up and dust myself off and get back on track.

[vincereautmori 323]

I was reading an article on CNN today about how the AMA wants to classify obesity as a disease. The corresponding comments were ruthless, I'd say 80% of them said, and I'll paraphrase, "the reason for obesity is fat people are too lazy to excersize and too undisciplined to control how much they eat" , "all they have to do is eat less and move more, it's that simple"

We all know it's truly not that simple, and inconsiderate comments do not help. We need to remember to support and not judge our brothers and sisters in this battle with us. Even after we succeed, don't forget where you came from and how to inspire those who are struggling in their journey.

[balbuquerque 85]

Gowalking. Your apology has actually made me feel that it's ok to post concerns again. I understand your point of view but I also understand that we live in a society that promotes sabotage and literally try to push u under the bus. I have counted upto six offerings of foods people trying to feed me @ work. They say things like "oh but just one slice of cake won't hurt." I've come home and told my husband about it. AA tells their members to avoid alcoholics, parolees are prohibited from associating with other parolees. But a food addict has no escaping food environments. It's a hard situation. My coworkers will come and offer me all this poison and then say after I refuse it "oh that's right you can't eat this. " I have said a dozen times In the past month. "I can eat whatever I want, however I didn't go under a knife to eat your cake." We have to be compassionate so sometimes. Good luck to all of us.

[shady2121 74]

Exactly, we can eat whatever we want, we just choose not to. I have had a cookie, shared a dessert, had a piece of pizza etc. But I dont eat a whole bag of Cookies a whole dessert or 4 pieces of pizza. I eat until im full and i get my Protein I need. its hard but like u said we did not go under the knife for nothing.

[CHEZNOEL 4,061]

It takes strength to reevaluate and apologize. We all make mistakes. Yours is not fatal!