Help:(

[lisacaron 5,075]

I'm feeling like a failure. I have been trying to do well. Making good choices going to the gym and pizza is going to kill me!

Why did I order it? Why couldn't I stick with sharing the chicken parm dinner I ordered with my husband and get up and walk away?

Why did I let him get in my head with his b*tching "what we are gonna SHARE THIS"?!

I knew it was more then enough for the two of us. We are both banded and it was enough. But no he had to eat the pizza too and oopsie daisy slip fail and i had to have it too.

Then he said oh YOUR gonna need a fill. Really just me? Why do we do that? I was ok with eating it I didn't push it got close to the line one more bite might have been my undoing but..did I need the comments from the peanut gallery?

Now I feel like crap about myself sure he's sorry he said that NOW but the damage is done. It's in my head and on my mind.

I have an appointment with the nutritionist in the morning and I don't know what she will say. I hope it's something motivating and positive and not comparisons of portion sizes to rubber food like I am 3 years old.

Should I ask for a fill? I am 6 weeks post op. what's your advice?

[Nenny101 27]

I just wanna say... You're doing great!!!, I'm not perfect and have made a few poor food choices as well. BUT! I also look at all the right choices I have made. In the last 4 weeks 2 Pre and 2 post surgery, I have lost 15 pounds and am proud of myself.

One poor choice won't destroy all the good you're doing sweetie. Hang in there and smack your hubby in the head (joke) I'm sure he's not perfect either... Considering he is also banded should avoid over eating too.

Stay strong!

[Domika03 309]

Don't be so hard on yourself. I've been banded for 10 months & have run into several struggles here & there. Most recently, I've really slowed down due to some major life changes. Old (bad) habits die hard, but you can never give up. Keep the faith & take one day at a time.

[drehn88 251]

I can relate! Last week when I went in to get a fill I thought I needed one because I was making poor food choices (like pizza) and taking too big of bites, therefore eating too much. The nurse practitioner asked all the right questions, I was completely honest, and I decided I shouldn't get a fill. She told me to spend the next two weeks logging all my calories, focusing on Protein again, and tracking when I was truly hungry after a meal (at least 4 hours). I did that, started exercising, and lost 3 pounds last week. It was all about refocusing. I think I will ask for a slight fill next week. From what I read on these posts about those truly in the green zone, I don't think I'm there yet. Close, but not yet. Be honest to your NUT. Good luck! You can do it!

[drehn88 251]

And BTW...you are NOT a failure!! There is a big learning curve with the band. You (we) are definitely in the learning phase. Learn from it and move on. You will do great!

[gowalking 10,790]

Is your husband also newly banded? I ask because I know how much food there is in a take out portion of chicken parm. It should have been more than enough for you two to share. And it's concerning that he basically remarked that he needed more food than the meal you two were supposed to be sharing.

Because the both of you are banded, I would think there would be support and you could pick each other up if one of you starts to make bad choices. Almost sounded like he was trying to sabotage you.

Forget about the pizza you ate....what's done is done...just don't do it again. I'd focus more on having a discussion with the hubby on how you two should be motivated to think and act positively rather than enabling each other when poor food decisions are being made.

[feelinggood 152]

We all have small set backs. Just have to acknowledge it was not in your best interest and learn. I am getting a fill tomorrow and decided I was going to eat my favorite meal for dinner (kung pai shrimp) and ate too much. I am suffering now cause it is siting in my pouch for far too long. Was not a good decision. Noted and learned.

[lisacaron 5,075]

Thank you all for your support. I know my husband felt really bad after he said what he did and we had a long talk about it later that night. It stems from his own frustrations about what is going on with him and his journey through this Lapland. He is so used to "seeing" large portions that when you don't you think this is not enough but it was more then enough for both of us. We are both newly banded just about 6weeks now.

He could have spoken his concern in a more productive way then he did. I allowed it to get in my head and get me to feel like I failed. That is my error. I could have let the comment roll off and eaten my meal and walked away. That is a lesson learned for me.

I am hungry and after seeing the nutritionist who also said she gives me permission to be mad at him for his comments and reading all your responses I feel better about things.

She thinks I do need a fill and I will get one on my next visit in a couple weeks. I also am trying not to compare with the hubby cause he can lose weight sitting on a chair and I have to work for it. That's ok with me I'm committed he just is going to have to learn to pipe is comments cause if they are not productive and helpful or constructive I won't be listening to it.

I always try to think about my impact on others when I do something or day something. I know when frustration and aggravation abound its not so easy to do but the consequences help us learn real quick.

I think he got that lesson pointedly last night. We have to help each other not throw daggers that only hurts everyone.

You all are the best thank you for being there when I needed you.