Feeling overwhelmed that i can't do this!

[j in nj 0]

Hello,

My name is Jennifer. I am 35 yrs. old. i have 2 daughters, one 7 and one who just turned 13 months. I am overweight..serverly!

I weigh 315 lbs. I have always been fat. I have met with the dr. 2x and i am just waiting for a surgery date. I really don't know if i am making the correct decision to be banded vs. the bypass.

I am having a difficult time and really haven't followed the pre surgical diet yet. I need to start with a gym early in the morning. Anyone else in my shoes? I never thought i would be here! ever. but i am tired of struggling for everything i deciede to put into my mouth and lose hardly any weight. Can someone give me some advice. Was it hard getting started? or did you really wait to get started after you were banded? I am getting really scared about the restrictions on everything

please help!

[kelli 0]

Hi Jennifer!

My name is Kelli, and I live in Houston. I am married with 3 wonderful kids. (Elizabeth-6, Joel-3 and Luke-1)

I just got banded today, and I'm so excited. :clap2: I went to the informational seminar that my doc offered and after hearing all of the info on both procedures decided that the band was much safer. It is truly an individual decision.

I didn't do very well with the pre-op diet. I did my best, but didn't end up losing any weight. The surgery went fine, and today is the first day of really having to follow the diet...no if's and's or but's! It's all going fine.

So, just don't stress yourself. Do the best you can with your pre-op diet, and best of luck with getting a date on your surgery!

Keep in touch!

Kelli

[IVANinNJ 0]

Hi Jennifer, I am in NJ also!

I can relate to what you are saying. For me, I just set a date and said that's it, when I wake up the diet starts, the gym starts. And that's what I did. I lost 20 lbs before the surgery and have stayed commited.

The payoff is not only the results that I had, but because I am actually burning calories, I can have a slice of pizza, Gen Tso's chicken, Burrito Supreme, Hot Pastrami, chicken Vindaloo, or a Gyro every once in while.

YOU CAN DO IT!

[Alexandra 55]

Hi Jennifer! Another New Jerseyan here. We have a lot in common, you and I: two small daughters (mine are 7 and 5), over 300 lbs to start, and a lifetime of obesity behind us. I can completely relate to your fears.

Banding was the best thing I've ever done for myself. Bypass was out of the question from the start, because with two small kids I just wasn't able to accept the risk. Being out of commission for even a few days wasn't something I wanted to do, and most of the bypassers I've met -- even the highly successful ones -- seem to have been hospitalized more than once. I heard too many stories about complications to consider it even for a moment. Banding is WAY safer, and effective enough to make me healthier, which was all that I was after. Even at 340 lbs I wasn't sick, just fat, and I didn't need to lose weight overnight. I wanted to lose it safely, sanely, and get permanent control over it so it wouldn't come back. The band is delivering in spades.

One of the greatest things about banding vs. bypass, to my mind, is that banding doesn't require us to make complete lifestyle and diet changes literally overnight the way bypass does. We have time to ride the learning curve of increasing restriction, time to get used to the idea that 1/3 of our usual intake really is enough to sustain and even satisfy us. It's a concept that takes some getting used to, and the band gives us time to do that.

Who is your doctor? Please feel free to contact me by e-mail or PM if you want to talk about anything specific. Welcome to LBT!!!

[Alexandra 55]

Oh, and for what it's worth, I didn't start exercising at all until after I'd lost 50 lbs. It's unrealistic for your doctor or yourSELF to expect a complete overhaul of lifestyle and diet on a dime. It just is. Be kind to yourself, stop beating yourself up. You're taking an important step toward better health--you're getting a tool that will help you eat less on a permanent basis. That tool is what will help you do everything else involved in this journey, and it takes a little time to learn how to use it.

[prinnie 0]

Hi there! Getting the band was the most important and smart decision I have ever made. I have a 7 month old son, and I am able to do so much more with him now. I have so much more energy and I am so optimistic about the future.

I started at 340.5 on Feb. 1st. 2006 (never thought I would EVER get to that point)

I was banded on 2/14/06

Now I am 278. I have a way to go, but I feel amazing.....you will too!!

Good luck!

[one too many 1]

Quick go and pick up your 7 year old...dam heavy hey.Well with the band I have lost approw that much in the last 12 months with little effort on my part.When I pick my little fella up who is also 7 I think the band is amazing and know in myself I couldn't have done it without this wonderful tool.I just wish I had lost the weight of his twin sister too.LOL

A month ago my Mum had the band as she could see how easy it has been for me and successful.Good luck if you get it done soon your youngest will never know you to be over weight as my youngest doesn't remember what I us to look like and Iam sure the 7 year olds will also forget...thank goodness

All the Best

[DOC 0]

I can relate a lot to what you shared. Fear is a powerful thing. Also, we all have been on all the "diets' and lost weight, but gained it all back.

You can do it! It depends on how bad you want it.... I bottomed out on food and was done. I didn't do anythig before surgery,,,, no diet, no excersize.

That has all changed. I have my life back! I still fight the head demons all the time, but I can change if I have the williness to do so.

Good luck!

[maggiek 0]

One Too Many and Prinnie-great weight loss. What type of eating, exercise plans are you on? Congrats.

[juliegeraci 7]

I too was approached by my doctor to have bipass and opted for lap band. My surgery is June 6th. I can't wait.

[j in nj 0]

Thank you everyone for your responses! You truely are a bunch of wonderful people. I can't believe i actually have to do this. Some people abuse alcohol, some drugs, mine is food. I eat happy or sad, but mostly when i am stressed. I shove anything in my mouth. My worst enemy is my 2 fingers...as i;ve been told. I have a 13 month old and a 7yrs. girls. I am constantly tired. I went through hell and back to have the baby, 3 1/2 yrs. of infertility(unexplained). i even had a doctor who wouldn't treat me back then, b/c 275 was too heavy for his stat's. I was embarrassed when i had my c section b/c they had to tape back my stomach. I was black and blue for months! again, very degrading. I wish i was 275 again anything from where i am at. I have good moments in the morning and it gets worse durning the day. I am having difficulty with the pre op diet and i am fearful about that. If i can't totally change my ways before the surgery what is going to happen to me after? I am picking the band b/c of safety reasons and i feel it won't put my family out too much. It is the first selfish thing i am doing for myself. I am out on maternity leave so money is tight, but it is something I need to fight my own demons with. We are using our tax money to pay for some of it. We worked out an agreement to pay monthly payments on what the insurance doesn't pick up. My question to you is this: Is it hard after the surgery to follow the fdiet if you didn't totally follow it pre op? Does it make it easier? Are you able to function. I will have help for the first week, but the 2nd i am pretty much on mhy own. I want to do this before my older daughter gets out of school. Any opinions would help. Just waiting for a date to start my new life off. I also want to evently walk in to Victoria Secret to buy something for myself and not have them think its for someone else. I just want to buy normal clothes and fit on amusement rides with my older daughter

[Alexandra 55]

J, please feel free to get in touch with me directly. You sound EXACTLY like I did, worries and all, before surgery. Please know that we have all been where you are, and if you have a realistic understanding of what the band can do, and realistic goals, your life can be changed by it.

You ask: "Is it hard after the surgery to follow the fdiet if you didn't totally follow it pre op? "

It's EASIER after the surgery, because you will have a TOOL that will help you say no after you've eaten enough. I won't kid you, it's not all kittens and lollipops, but physically it takes less food to fill us up. And it doesn't happen immediately, so there's time to ease into it.

Nothing bad happens if you can't follow the "program" immediately after banding. You just won't lose weight as fast as you might have otherwise. But once you get a decent amount of restriction, you will be shocked at how easy it becomes to put down that extra whatever-it-is you might want to eat. And that's how we lose weight.

Banding leaves us normal, functioning, healthy people, who have a smaller stomach capacity than we did before. If we learn to use it correctly we will lose weight. It's really simple!

[*susan* 1,709]

I had to smile when I read your post, because one of my goals is also to be able to go into Victoria's Secret and buy something sexy to model for my husband.

You know, I don't think there are any of us that weren't doubtful of our ability to stick to the required pre and post-op diets and lose weight with the band. If we were able to control ourselves, we wouldn't be here to begin with. I am not fat because I eat when I am stressed, depressed, etc. I am fat because I just genuinely love the taste of food. But, I think with this wonderful new tool, and the support from our loved ones and this wonderful board, we can all succeed. I am not going to lie, the two week pre-op liquid diet was really tough. I cheated half way through and had a piece of pizza. But, after the first couple of days, you really aren't as hungry.

I just got my band a week ago today. Even though I am sick of liquids, it is actually much easier sticking to the diet now than it was before getting the band. Because now, I have spent $16,500 for this, it is in me and I don't want to do anything to damage it.

This is a wonderful tool. You have to believe in it and yourself. I am already starting to learn to listen to mine. I can feel liquids going through my pouch. I feel the difference when I have thicker liquids than thinner ones. One of the things I like about this is as long as my band tolerates it, I really don't have to give up any of the foods I love. It will help me to eat them in moderation.

Wow, didn't realize I was rambling, sorry. But, I do feel strongly that this is a wonderful tool for those of us who have tried everything else and not succeeded. I can do this, you can do this, we can all do this. And we will, with each other's support.

[Elisabethsew 50]

Hi Jennifer,

I am 5 weeks post-op and only had to follow a full Fluid diet for one week prior to surgery. The purpose of the pre-op diet is to "shrink" the liver. During the surgery, one of the small incisions they make is so that an instrument (retractor) can be inserted to move the liver out of the way so the surgeon can visualize the stomach. Eat as few fats as possible and try and lay off the fast-food and processed foods (cookies, cakes, etc.). If you sit in a chair and bend over down to the floor and feel a pain in the upper right side of your belly, THAT's you're enlarged liver. That pain will decrease as you take in less and less fat.

After surgery, you'll feel sore and tired but not incapacitated. Most people go back to work after a week but it might be a good idea to get household jobs (heavy cleaning, etc.) out of the way prior to your surgery. You'll need a full 6 weeks before the abdominal muscles and incisions are fully healed. At that time, you can begin an exercise program that involves abdominal work outs if you desire.

Post-op, I did not feel like eating for the first 4 days and had to force myself to get in the required nutrients (you need 60 grams of Protein a day for healing). By day 5, my appetite was back so I had to make a conscious effort to stick to the eating plan. Some MDs will do a first fill at 4 weeks, most wait 6 weeks and my MD waits 8 weeks. So, I have another 3 weeks before a fill. The "waiting time" for the fill is challenging but it's the best time to learn how to gauge true hunger from emotional hunger.

The answer to whether or not you can "do this" really rests with you. The operation is not a miracle or cure and you likely won't "feel" the band until you get one or more fills. Part of the pre-op process involves talking to a psychologist. Be honest with this person as well as with your surgeon. The lapband is one of many weight loss surgeries and you want to make sure you choose the best one for YOU.

I am sick of life passing me by and sick of all the sacrifices that I make in my life due to the fact that I am obese. The time was right for me to opt for weight loss surgery and the lapband was the right choice for ME. I accept that I have a chronic disease and will always battle my weight. I know that band is only a tool and that I will have to eat healthy for life to achieve and stay at a healthy weight. Everyone needs to look insides themselves to determine where they are now, where they want to be, and of they're willing to do the work of achieving their goal. Don't let anyone talk you into anything. Do research, ask questions, and make an informed decision that works for YOU. Good luck!

[Dragonwillow 0]

I haven't been the most postive person as of late, but the great thing with the band is that when you slip with your dedication it's always there when you come back. I just recetly hit 6 months and had to have blood work. My Vitamin levels were ALL srewed up and some seriously low. My primary care physican was very concerned and even said after I reminded him I didn't have rny but the band. (he always forgets and like most assume wls is rny) that he was VERY glad that I had the band and not rny. With the malabsorbtion issues that go along with rny I would have been in serious trouble with my vitimans. I would have probally been hospitalized by now. So looks like I made the right choice...even though I never seriously considered the rny.

Exercise....start out slow, find something you like to do. I recomend getting started before surgery. I have been a exerciser for years now...one of the reasons I elected to have wls in the first place was because I did exercise so much and was STILL fat...so obviously it had to be the food end of th equation. LOL I truelly believe that my recovery from surgery was so easy because I had exercised so much. I've been rotating out my weight lifting ...right now I'm doing a "maintance" routine. Basically I do cardio everyday (well except sunday) and only hit each muscle group once a week...but with maxium weights I can handle. In a few weeks I will switch back to building...and will still do the same cardio but will do weights EVERYDAY alternating upper and lower body, with many reps and increasing weight added. While I'm in building mode...I don't loose weight at all or VERY VERY slowly...and sometimes forget that I'm most likely buiding muscle. This is generally when I have to get out the tape measure so I don't get to discouraged.

I would be really interested in learning what my actual mucle mass is...but haven't found anyone localy that does the Water submersson test.

Also want to point out...that I've been banded for 6 months....and though I don't always loose very fat, or go weeks with out loosing the maxium I've gained at any one time 3 pounds....which could have just as easily been water. My point is...never in my life on any diet have I lasted 6 months loosing weight without gaining back a significant prt of what I lost in the first place. So if nothing else, the band helps keep from regaining.

Good luck with your decision, you have defiently come to the right place for info.